This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
I left the house early this morning to get to dads because there are some "very Handsome" tree trimmers that r in the backyard cutting down my childhood tree...i spent many afternoons sitting in that tree writing stupid poetry to stupid boys!!! Can anyone relate to those days? And to think i never got published....it was some good sh*t!!! Oh well, jst wasn't my calling n now it's not my childhood tree anymore,either........boo hoo...o hell...who am i kidding....i can barely get up onto the toilet seat n wipe my own ass let alone climb a damn tree.
When i arrived this morning, dad was already in full blown "sundowners" right after the sunrise!!! Wat is that all about??? I use to love that song "Sunrise, Sunset" from Fiddler On the Roof...remember that?? well........i HATE that song now....now it jst goes "Sundown...Sundowner"....lol
Seemeride...i think i need to visit the wine/water cooler...lol i feel sooooo dehydrated.......care to join me? One day, maybe. u make me laugh!!
JoJo...congratulations on ur new job. I kno how torn u must be feeling being away from ur grandma, and ur mom, of course. I think wat all the ladies have said is so true and profound. Ladees comment."You're moving on towards ur new future n so is ur grandma." That's a beautiful way to look at the circle of life that repeats itself throughout time. Ur grandma must be so, so proud of you. I kno that all of us r proud of u, JoJo....hang in there...you're pretty incredible, girlfriend....huge hugs
Jam....i had this visual of u on the floor, laughing with me, n i jst want to make sure that u didnt injure urself in any way at my expense. Lets not forget.....we ladies do tend to be "bladder challenged" n, dear Lord, i hope u don't have wood floors...lol
Im sry that Col is in such decline. I completely understand how that hurts to witness day in n day out...love n prayers to u, Jam.
Stormyy..I will keep praying for dads test results to be good news. Much love n many hugs to u, sweetie...
Notlike...We have so much in common...did u kno? I'm SORE, too!!!!! lol Ur's is for result of a better reason....we kno where mine comes from! I'm so proud of u that ur keeping that up...good for u......As for the ice cream n choc. as a protein....here's my personal experience with that....I tried those food groups, thinking it was ok to "treat" myself now n then....then n now....until i started noticing the cellulite on my ass was spelling out Ben n Jerrys, and Hersheys......so...i went cold turkey!!! I think i might jst tattoo various desserts on my ass to hide incoming n existing cellulite..i'll b a walking menu....Jst don't think anyone would order from it..lol
Hope u r doing well, otherwise....love n hugs
Ok....gloves off...it's Lalalalaladee time!!!!!!! First, let me say that if there's anyone that can get thru a rough wk pulling double shifts...it's u, my friend. I think it would take a hell of alot more to knock u down....u have permission to trip up a lil, but u gotta get up....come on, GG....we're all in this caregiving life together, even wen we feel like checkin out! Ok...about the blog idea.....i appreciate ur support on such an endeavor, but i think u may be the only one that will follow me!!! Not that that's a bad thing.....i'm just soooo sensitive to possible rejection..NOT..HAHAHAHAHA Ur always in my thoughts n prayers, and that goes for ur son, too. LYL
Lily update....she looks pathetic. Still can't bear any weight on her front paws, so i took Jam's advice, and i'm bringing everything to HER....No dragon flies tho.....hugs to all u beautiful friends of mine n i'm sry for hoggin up the thread....i'm in a mood.....love ya all
Next....I have found this to be true........the more gin u drink......the better ANY 40yr old man looks!!! lol Hugs to ya
I fell broken and lost. I look at my Mom and I see a very scared person who cannot grasp what is happening to her. I want to fix it for her. All she talks about is Howard and how much she wants him back. She crys and repeats all day about him. She calls him on the phone constantly. He is so nice to her. He wants to meet her and me for lunch Friday. Not sure that would be a good idea. He feels so bad for her and selfish. He just could no longer take the hitting, the name calling, the anger that over takes her. I do not blame him at all...I am so tired. I hate this disease and what it is doing to my Mom....I love her dearly. I hate that there will be a day when she needs around the closk care...I dread it..
Lost and alone in CA
Tomorrow, will be the mnl first day alone at the church respite care for 4hrs. Hopefully she behaves herself n she will have a great time while we get a small breather break. Hopefully, it will help her from having these crying spells too that she claims she is not having. I know she has mention in the past that she feels like she is in r way but we both told her that she is not n that she helps us out as well as we try to help her. Then she will look at her old house diagnoally across street n say, "Yep! That was my old homestead." We try to let her know that we r living all together in our house as a team. I know its got to be very hard on her with all the changes but we r doing the best we can right now. Now, who knows what tomorrow will bring out of her, the negativity, the happy, or the crying spells. Hopefully this church place will help her get engage with other people n she will feel better about herself, maybe. Wish us luck.
need the love and help of those who loves us.,no matter how miserable we may be. U r a wonderful daughter, even if u don't feel that u r treated as such. Give urself a "inner" break...b kind to urself for jst a little while...u've earned it....then, when u r feeling a bit stronger....cherish wat u can of this opportunity.....u will be so thankful that u did. Hang in there, Debbya...we're all here pullin for u. There are plenty of friends here to shower u with love and support....a place to get angry and vent, a place to jst listen wen u need to cry it out...we're here for all of it. Please come back n visit with us. We r now part of ur cyber-family...we're hard to get rid of...but, i think u'll find much peace here. God Bless u...and much love n hugs to u.
waverun-please know that you are not alone. We all hate the disease, and struggle to help our charges no matter what the issues are. Being sick takes so much away from a person. Blessings and hugs to you.
Jam-Hugs to you, too, with the Col declining even more. I can only imagine how the young aides seem like children to her.
Ladee-you got through today. Yeah! Sending more hugs for tomorrow. Share one with S for me, okay? And one for your son.
Stormy-the answers will be the same whether it's tomorrow or in 9 days. With what you've said about your sis, you made a good choice to make sure she gets to talk with the doctor. Waiting is hard, so I'm wishing you angels with lots of patience. Hugs.
Mom needed a refill on a prescription. The doctor can send it by computer to her mail order service, but Mom prefers to have the written form, and mail it herself with a check. They were great about doing it that way, even though it costs gas to go get and a stamp to mail. Pennywise and pound foolish. I've struggled my whole adult life to not do things just because that's how they're always done. Watching her reminds me, and makes me sad for her.
Back to the heat...for once, I agree with Mom. It's too cold in this house! If debris is falling over by Brandywine, then hell just froze over here for me agreeing with Mom. LOL Hubby's got central air, and fans, and spends most of his time in the cool basement anyway. I just put sweatpants on, and am headed to watch TV with him. If I add socks and a hat, do you think he might turn the temp up???
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
I think the reason I'm just very tired compared to being so exhausted for the past few days is that I was complimented today at work. Our company has a new accountant and controller. They came to our office to meet us. The controller asked me how long I've been working in this company. When i said 20 years, he looked shocked and blurted out, "How old were you when you started working here?! 13? " I may be age...(counting with my fingers, stopped counting since I was 34 years old)..46 years old but I look like a 13 year old. People Rarely think I'm 20. But, I tell you, taking care of 2 bedridden parents is causing me Lot of Gray hair!! It's just sprouting out like crazy. After their visits, I've been smiling a lot. It's nice to be complimented. It lightens our soul, our burden in life for a while. Time to sleep. Take care and stay hydrated!
-It's hot here but not as bad as there. So, you all take extra care of yourself and your "wards."
stormy.....lady gave you some good advice. What is making you think that you are having diabetic symptoms? All BS levels fluctuate throughout the day. Textbook "normal" levels are 60 - 110. That's not to say some people don't have problems at 60 or 110.....I have treated patients completely unresponsive at 80....the answer would be to see your doctor. Three symptoms to look at are excessive thirst, excessive urination and rapid weight loss. BUT those symptoms can also apply to other things as well. Can I just throw something in here? Humor me please..........take a pregnancy test. And every time I have had someone come back and tell me NO WAY.....uh, 9 mo later they had a new family member......:) Keep us updated.....you're important to us!
beck............as a matter of fact I DO have hardwood floors!!!!! love ya!
I hope you all have a good evening and can find a little piece of sanity for yourselves...................
Stormy-ditto to what was said about the protein. Trust Jam and take the test :)
Vic-good to see you checked in. Thinking of you...
Debby-We do know what you are going through. That;'s the beauty of this site. Care giving is NOT for sissies, and we all deal with the emotions and other stuff. I believe God is watching. And he hears all prayers. Even in the Bible, some prayed by yelling when they were upset. He knows our emotions and struggles. It's like the Footprints story. A woman looked back over her life and saw her footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets, sometimes not. She yelled at God, "When I was struggling, where did you go? Why did you leave me to walk alone?" And God answered, "My child, where you see only one set of footprints, that is when I carried you." Hugs.
Not a great morning here. As I was leaving for work, Dad starts talking and I realize his tounge is swollen on one 1/2 and he can hardly talk. The swelling did go down over the next few hours. It looks like his C-pap mask irratated a nerve, and he was also probally clamping down on his tounge during the night. I had a hard time switching from daughter to nurse, though. I got so worried, I wasn't really thinking straight. I can usually go into nurse mode pretty fast, and deal with my emotions later. But sometimes, I don't see my two elderly patients, I see my parents. Nurse mode is my coping mechanism here, and I don't like it when it isn't working right!!! I guess it's something I need to keep in mind as their health gets worse. Plus I had a patient at work last week who had a stroke in the short time she was in our clinic. I caught it, and we sent her to the hospital. I think my reaction to Dad was partly because I just went through that and didn't want it to be happening to him. Sigh.
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
Non-diabetic bloodsugar usually runs about 65 - 110. I have had diabetes type 1 insulin dependent for 37yrs. Hypoglycemia(hypo = low) Symptoms: sweaty, confused, dizziness, rapid heart-beat n headaches etc. Hyperglycemia (hyper = high) Frequent urination, rapid weight loss and Increased thirst. If it drops below 65 then drink something that will kick in quick to boost it up a bit then, drink some regular soda or some juice. During your meals u may be eating less than normal or doing more activities than usually n that may be causing your sugar to drop a little for you have burned all your food up.
As for fruit with me I had to learn that I couldn't eat it alone for it would cause my b/s to go high so my dietition told me to add like sugar-free yogurt or peanut butter -protein to balance it out or I could have like a 1/2 banana with my meals. As for a bowl of Rice Krispies, I don't even take a chance for it will cause my sugar to sky rocket as well as food that contains a lot of fat.
Everyone is different n they will respond differently whether it what u eat or the amount you ate. I would go get it check out. Good Luck.
I asked the lady their how mnl did today n the lady said that they had a group of children come in from the church school n it was a bit overwhelming for her. The lady said she got mnl into a smaller group n she did fine.
Hubby n I asked if she had a good time n she said yes. That is what matters that she enjoyed herself n got to meet other people. You can tell they pamper her n she always love the center of attention. Hey, whatever works ; )
Jam- no chance of a baby coming in 9 months for me cause the monthly fairy is visiting me now. Sorry ladies.... no little one on the way. And i haven't been peeing alot or been thirsty and definitely haven't been losing any weight (i wish). But i do get shaky, nervous, hungry, sweating, short tempered when my sugar drops. Nothing new on the dad home front, same old stuff different day. I feel like i am stuck in the movie groundhog's day. Trapped in there and there's no way OUT..... I just was not in the mood to be there today plus having to get up earlier with connor to go to daycare has not helped either. It makes for a extra long day. And to top it off with cramps from hell and chasing low sugar all day, it has had me feeling exhausted and drained. Just ready for this week to be over with. 2 more days. HUH....... Love and hugs ladies and gents stormyyy
anyway... i could never say thank you enough to everyone on this site...you can never imagine how you all have made such a difference in my life this past 2 weeks....... I can only hope that I can bring kind words and comfort to others as everyone has done for me...you are all in my prayers everyday for what you indure...never think for a moment you are alone...your not...there are so many people out there ...just one kind word makes such a difference.....and i will always try to make a difference to others....even if its a silly "hug" sent online or just listening to someone so they can clear their mind....I feel alot better thats out....and 6 am is fast approching...I dotn want to let granny down by being late for class and training today...love and hugs to you all