This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
I always thought I was odd, because I loved scary movies all my life. But, I noticed that as I get older I cannot take the "gore" like SAW either. My Mom is still living with me, and her severe dementia does not even allow her to watch TV. So, treasure your moments and memories with your Mom hiding her eyes from the scary stuff. I just wish my Mom could interact with me or watch TV with me. She was my best friend my entire life, and I feel such a loss even though she is still alive.
I always thought I was odd, because I loved scary movies all my life. But, I noticed that as I get older I cannot take the "gore" like SAW either. My Mom is still living with me, and her severe dementia does not even allow her to watch TV. So, treasure your moments and memories with your Mom hiding her eyes from the scary stuff. I just wish my Mom could interact with me or watch TV with me. She was my best friend my entire life, and I feel such a loss even though she is still alive.
Let's all remember that tomorrow is the BIG DAY.........and everyone watch for "breaking news" out of Texas...........
I've worn 2 different shoes to work before, too........they were at least the same height, and when a man pointed it out to me, I took them off and went barefoot all day........at an automotive store.....on concrete......didn't think I would ever get them clean again..........
I have, yet another dog story for all of u...except it isn't about Lily....Do i hear sighs of relief from the cyber crowd????
Ok...well i am the proud "grandma" to my kids dogs...lol...they r pure bred Lhasa Opso's n , i do admit...proud or not...i refer to them as "lotsa ass-holes..." Sometimes, they jst deserve it... My son's dog is a male, named Gus....He has the most unique n beautiful sapphire blue eyes, n his personality it the best...My son called to tell me that Gus had a very bad eye infection, but didnt kno wen he would b able to get him to the vet. So...grandma to the rescue...i took Gus to the vet this morning, with his eye completely red n oozing...disgusting.......n the Dr. enters the room to start the exam. He started off by putting drops in his eye that made it numb so he could get a good look at it.....As he's examining him..he suddenly notices something sticking out of his tear duct..He proceeds to grab at it, n it was about 1/2 inch long FOX TAIL lodged in the duct. I couldnt believe it....n the dr. said in all his years as a vet, he's never seen a fox tail work its way into such a tiny hole....i felt so bad for the lil ass-hole...i mean....Gus....anyway...he cleaned out his eye really well n sent me home with eyedrops, n the appt cost $100.22!!!! WTF.....Well...i'm keeping my grandson here with me tonite, bcuz he n Lily r having a great time together....On top of that...i have dad here with me bcuz my mom had a serious meltdown this morning n wanted dad away from her....i feel so bad for my dad...he feels so ashamed of himself...but i've been hanging out with him, talking politics, n feeding his sweet face...Wat a day! I'm not sure if mom will let him come home today, so he might b staying the nite, too...oh well....the more, the merrier!!
I'm starting to feel the earth rumble over here in CA....COWBOY'S in for a caregiver's ass-whoopin, n he's still got to sell that vacuum...on sale!!!
Ladee...wear shoes that match this trip.....u can kick ass better wen ur feet r balanced...lol.....hug all
Stormy: Happy Birthday to you. You are such a good person and I hope your BD is a happy one.
Seeme: I love everyone of your puppy stories, every single one. I am so happy that you and your husband can share the laughter and love your new fur babies have brought into your lives. My husband and I do the same thing every day with our 2 dogs.
Beck: You crack me up!!!! I am so grateful to you for taking the little ass hole, eh, I mean Gus, to the vet. Oh my gosh, that must have been so painful for him. I'm sure he is so appreciative of his GM coming to his rescue. So am I!!!!
Cowboy: The clock is ticking and your time is running out. Your destiny hangs in the balance of those remaining hours between now and the next sunset. You poor sucker, you have no clue that so many are perched at their computers, waiting to see what door you choose. Will it be Door #1 Ladee gets a new vacuum cleaner. Door #2 No new vacuums arrive so you sell Ladee the floor model at a discount. Door #3 Bad choice. Your misfortune brings Hoover into a new product line.
Cat
Bookworm, I am glad your nephew took care of the doll situation for that was to do that for you to give u some peace of mind.
Brandy, I have my small Bible too but had to get me a teenager bible to understand it n it has colorful pictures. Hey, if it works it works.
Yes, i got my beatens by my mom when I was young n it was with a belt or peach switch n that damn thing hurt n left wept marks n she didn't know how to stop once she got started. Tore my legs up n I have had a boot throwed at me n busted my nose because I didn't make the baby formula bottle correctly for one of my younger sibs for her. I guess she may have been drunk?
Anyway, like Ladydee mention, "Here we are... loving, living, honoring, and being present for each other... so guess they didn't beat the "good" out of us." I like that saying for it is soooooooooooooooooo true.
Everyone else, y'all r just as crazy as my butt n keep me laughing for I need it.
thanks. ;)
I have a visual of these two dogs (Lilly and Dyna) wearing cowboy boots and hats and backing up our Ladee on Tuesday. Even without the dogs, the salesman is in for it if he doesn't produce that vacuum. I'm not sure Texas will be big enough for him to hide if he doesn't!
Stormy - Happy, Happy Birthday! He's what I think about the Kick *ss attitude. It comes from my own experience and I'm about the same age as you. I rarely if ever used it growing up. So when I did, it was like a volcano errupting. And it scared me - how could I be like that? So mad and just thinking about myself and how I felt. Then I was afraid to errupt again. But now I've come to realize that I have to use it or truely loose it. And the first few times, I made a sorry fool of myself. But you know what? I got over it. Mostly. I may never get to where Ladee is, but every once in awhile, I can Kick *ss. And so can you. The worst that will happen is that someone may not like you for awhile - so what! So next time you need to KA, I'll be right there with you in your head, cheering you on all the way. That's my Birthday present to you. Hugs.
Thanks to all of you for the kind words and encouragement for my friend right now. The funeral is next week Monday/Tuesday. The third load of filthy curtains is in my dryer. And the house looks a hell of alot better than it did before this weekend. We had a cleaning brigade yesterday and many hands made light work. His Dad told me he loved all of us for helping. Almost made me cry.
And I am never leaving the house again without checking both my shoes!
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
Well, it sounds like the crowd is chanting Door #3. Yes, as the back story of this event has been filled in, viewers have become disenchanted with Cowboy and his pathetic need to follow store policy. Americans have had it with policy and they want an ass kicking.
The cries have become particularly loud from the many Wall Mart shoppers who have been held up to world wide ridicule for continuous fashion indiscretions The fact that this pissed off care giver was wearing two different shoes and had to listen to the ineffective Cowboy bring it to her attention has sent a call for solidarity across the nation.
A crowd of cross dressers together with a contingency of blood thirsty onlookers have started to fill the Wall Mart parking lot in anticipation of tomorrow's drama. Among the blood thirsty was a woman who was yelling, "Just kick his ass now, even if you get the vacuum." She was holding a little dog with a patch over it's eye. By her side was a snarling Golden Retriever wearing a weave. This woman was also seen lying down in the parking lot, playing dead.
Not one to miss an opportunity to capitalize on this national revenge saga is a mobile T-Shirt company who has set up business in the parking lot. The "Fuck you, I'm a Caregiver" shirts are selling like hotcakes.
One group in the crowd was wearing spring loaded tennis shoes, blue tights and tuna cans. They called themselves the Kick Ass Girls and yelled that it is about fucking time that care givers, even those who dress badly, get the respect they deserve. The leader of the KAG's was demonstrating the pounce of the tree ninja while a fellow sister demonstrated the Falcon Punch.
The Hoover company has called for their Research and Development team to be on site for tomorrows showdown.
Yes, I couldn't want to be Cowboy. One way or another, there's a can of Woop Ass with his name on it.
Well, that's the latest from this Texas Wall Mart parking lot. Tune in for further updates and uninterrupted coverage beginning tomorrow at 8 AM.
Cat
Cat....i jst love ya....u make , yet , another day for me, very tolerable.....Im a bit sad that today will come to an end n possibly Cowboys existence....this entire thing has kept my spirits up like nothing else....thanks to ur "professional" journalism of, wat has become, a very important story in this caregivers life!!....to quote Kimbee........"u ROCK"......love ya, girl