Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Hey ya'll, don't blame my handyman for the wasps.... it is summer in Texas with no rain... they are builiding nests in the tree outside...!!!! And with as many holes as in the Grapes of Wrath wagon, they could be getting in anywhere... only saw one last night.... smooshed his little ass, will spray this weekend....
Don't know if I told ya'll or not, but M's last transfusion went off without any problems at all...and her anti's are kicking in.... so other than S swatting my hand away from his yesterday, it was all good... him doing that stunned me.... I just stood there.... but I'm pretty sure it was more the tone of my voice prior that had him upset.... just way too tired to be patient with the OCD shirt tucking marathon yesterday....
I am getting one of the other girls to fill in this evening.... getting too tired to be patient with S??? Then time for a break.....
Hopefully I will get caught up with everyone this weekend.... so I'm heading toward the future... ttyl.... love and hugs....
(1)
Report

My brother calls hemmorhoids the grapes of wrath. Ladee...every time you mention the grapes of wrath wagon, I get a big smile! I just read something about making a wasp trap with a 2 liter bottle of soda, with just a bit of cream soda in it, set on its side when done. The lady cut the top off the bottle, inverted it, and stapled it back on. Supposedly, inverting it makes it more difficult for the wasps to get out. I'm not sure I buy that. Anyway, my thought was that there have got to be some sort of traps or deterrents for wasps, right? I hate those guys.
(1)
Report

Hi, I am struggling. My Motherinlaw has lived with us for about 11 years. I did alot for her during this time. In Oct she had a mild stroke, diabetic insulin dependent and then had to have a pacemaker put in in Nov last year.
I took on this new responsibility thinking how much harder could it be. It has been almost 10 months..... and I am so tired. Today is a hard day in general I am taking care of my 6 year old granddaughter for the summer too. My husband works fulltime but does what he can with his Mom to help me.
There are two other siblings but they live out of state so they are of no help.
I am just feeling lost and I have grayed so much in the past 5 months that it is very obvious.
There are days I just want to give up and quit.
I do take Mom to a adult daycare two days a week which helps her to interact with others her age, have activities and get out of her room where she just wants to watch television all day.
It is hard too she isn't motivated. We have to constantly tell her it's time for a bath, it is time to come and eat, it is time for her insulin shot and meds. The list goes o and on.
I never knew I would become a Dr. nurse, pharmacist, therapist, secretary, banker, scheduler, chauffer, cook, some of this I already did but the more important things like keeping up with her 15 different medications, making sure everything is ordered, stocked and available. Keeping journals on her weight, Bloodsugar levels, how she feels or anything that day that is or was unusual. Making sure she does her excerises, drinks enough water, changes dirty clothes or staying aware of her IBS, headaches or if she is dizzy.
I am so tired of doing this..... she isn't able to live alone and she isn't ready for a nursing home so she stays with us and I and we keep doing what we do everyday.......
My mind doesn't stop because it is bedtime, I can't sleep late because I need to make sure Mom gets up for the weight, BS and meds. I make her breakfast because she is not allowed to cook for her safety. We make all her meals.
Sometimes I just cry, feel sad, depressed and others I am ok.....
Life just seems to depend on her and how she feels. I have so much to do around the house, errands and places I would like to go to but it all takes so much planning. I have had to cancel alot of appts because she didn't feel well and I didn't have anyone to rush over and watch her for me. We have a neighbor and a few friends who have stayed with her briefly which has helped.
We have family here but they don't ask about her or offer to help either. I just feel alone......in this.....
There was a support group for 6 weeks which was great..... but it ended.....I read the book they gave us and have reached out to a few from the class. I just need more to keep myself sain.........
I am glad that Mom isn't as bad off as others I have heard and learned about.
Maybe I am just not as strong as she or my husband needs me to be.
I feel like there is not any real time to just relax and let go of all the responsibility.
Thanks for listening.......
ET
(1)
Report

Frustrated, there is nothing wrong with your strength!!!!!!! My Lord, look how long you have been doing this... and as hard as it is, sometimes it's just plain old boring..... knowing everyday is the same, many here on this sight call it "groundhog day', like the movie... same stuff, different day....
You are burned out. Plain and simple... probably was before now, but we push ourself so hard, and don't realize we are this burned out until we are crying over somthing like running out of milk..... just the thought of having to go DO one more thing sends us over the edge.... so welcome and as Jam says, " We'll leave the light on for ya"... come back and visit... vent until you feel better... it's not called 'whining' here, no whiners, but lots of 'venters', we all understand how you feel, it you would like some suggestions, let us know and we'll help if we can....
This is a silly bunch here, we laugh about all sorts of things... helps us stay sane.... well, sort of, most of us are pretty far gone, but we don't point that out LOL..... so sending you hugs from another caregiver that truly understands.... come back and tell us how you are....
(3)
Report

Judy, how funny... And as much as I love my little cocoon, it reminds me of a hemroid sometimes, because it's a pain in the ass....and I'm going to try that wasp catcher... that's something that doesn't cost much and is good for the enviornment... I worry about my cat when I use spray... so I'll let you know... thanks... and hugs to ya...
(1)
Report

frustrated stick with us and we will help you feel better-as for the family that is nearby do not wait for them to ask for help-tell them how you feel and what help they can be for you-maybe one night a week they could take in dinner or do your food shopping now and then-nothing will be lost-they do not help now-you should not have to do it alonemention Nursing Home placement that should wake them up especially if she has any funds available and if she does it should be spent on her care to give you a break.
(1)
Report

Judy.......I'll never think of Ladee's GOWW the same again............

Frustrated..........It toook almost 6 months to get over the "tired" part of caregiving after my mom died...........now with new puppies, I have it again, and that means a nap every day.

Got to tell you the Harley/Dyna latest. Hubby went to town today on the bike. It is the first time he has even started it up in the 3 wks we've had the puppies. Harley was scared to death and backed up in a hurry. Dyna LOVED it........she stood right there at the gate, head poking through the bars, and when hubby gunned it, she took one step backwards, and jumped up on the gate like she couldn't get enough, and exposing her belly.............just like Aunt Ladee lifting her shirt at the passing bikes............
(3)
Report

Wow! The whole Ladee vs. cowboy thing was better than the last "best seller" I read! Thanks, Cat, for updating our news watch. And then the Gus story - it was like an extra bonus. I feel better already and I was feeling kind of low. I love you all - laughter really is the best medicine.
Ladee, you can do my shopping anytime:) What a deal you got! All this and a super sale priced vacuum, too.
When I was at the fair last week, we walked past a booth where you could try shooting a paint gun. I paid my money and took my shots. I hit almost everythign dead-on! And it wasn't practice or skill...I think it was just tension. And I felt a ton better when I was done.
Frustrated - Welcome. You are not alone in how you feel. Same old, same old, wears a person out more than excitement sometimes. Please keep coming back. We're here to listen.
Okay, here's my vent today. How am I supposed to treat my parents like adults when they so often act like children???? I try to give them dignity and respect, and they just keep fraying my last nerve. Mom asks me last night why it smells the way it smells. So I ask her what it smells like. She takes so long to answer that I stop what I'm doing and tell her I'm coming by her. She finally says it smells like popcorn. Well, that would be because my hubby had just made popcorn in the microwave.
Dad tells me today he's out of the med that keeps his bowels from spasming. He didn't tell me sooner because he thought he had to go to the hospital anyway on Monday. No, the calander says that on Monday, the funeral for my friend is from 4-7PM. It's on a huge wipe-off board that is 3 feet from his desk and that he passes every time he gets a cup of coffee. Oh, and he doesn't want to take the med anymore anyway, because it makes his stool too soft. No, it doesn't. That problem's been going on for 2 months, well before he got this med.
How am I supposed to be excited that they are out and about, driving and shopping, when these are the conversations we have at home? They're scarry! And I'm supposed to fix everything and answer their questions without making them feel stupid. It's hard. At the end of the day, I am almost out of patience.
Thanks for listening.
(1)
Report

What is that smell????? Thought i would die laughing.... POPCORN....!!!!!!!! OMG, of all the things this sight has to offer in the odor department, never did I expect it to be real popcorn...... oh hell, this made my day.....tell hubby shame on him for causing an old lady to stress over THAT SMELL..... ohhhhh, priceless...
And I know what you mean Notlike, I am so impatient here lately... some of it is from being tired, the rest is needing it to get cooler...and rain, we need rain... I don't think people handle this heat and we are all getting on each others nerves... I know I have started to go set in the other room while S is tucking in his shirt... for some reason I am fixated on this right now... it is driving me insane... or insanER..... he's not doing anything any different than he always has with this damned shirt tucking... for some reason this week, I feel like I am going to start crying every time we have to take those pants down for the bathroom, because I know what is ahead.... so ya, we're a little frayed I think....
But you also have the added stress of your friends death..... and we look up at the stupid stuff we do everyday and think how insignificant some of this stuff is.... in the bigger picture of things.... when my nephew died in the fire last winter... I would look at M and think , you are bitching because S spilled some water!!!! I am amazed I made it thru that without doing something to get turned into APS for.... dirty looks are harmless, mumbling under my breath is not an arresting offense..... but I felt like I was coming out of my skin....Made me want to set her down and tell her how I REALLY felt about all her bitching and complaining....so I do understand when we have a real life issue that is breaking our heart, and we STILL are caregivers.....sending you lots of hugs Notlike.... and tell Dad to take the damned medicine or your sending in Ladee with her brand new vacuum...... and I will bring this huge syringe type thing they use here to shoot a pill down a cows throat.... your choice dad, swallow or...............
Love ya Notlike, and you are a saint in my eyes, keeping in mind I have sight problems....but you are more patient than you ever give yourself credit for.....

I know Seeme Sue... I live in a HEMROID..... isn't that just the story of my life....we give lots of thanks to Judy for twisting my mind even further....
And that's Aunt Ladee's girl,,,, give those bikers a titty shot..... that's what makes life worth living..... It's kinda creepy how much that dog is like me.... what did you do to deserve this Seeme..... it's up to you to decide if this is good or bad Karma....... give them both kisses from Aunt Ladee..... oh, and hugs to you and hubby......
(1)
Report

Oh and Seeme, I really think your new avatar should be of Dyna setting on the back of Mikes Harley with a pair of Daisy Dukes on, cheap sunglasses and a huge lipstick smile.....
(0)
Report

Don't give me any more ideas......I was already wondering how to get her on the back of the bike..............
(0)
Report

Thank you Ladee.
Your so right one more thing and .........
I have to go and take care of things ..
(1)
Report

Notlike......I was also thinking.....hummmm......piss.......crap.......burnt toast........not POPCORN!!!!!!!!
(1)
Report

frustrated, come back and visit... there will always be 'one more thing', just every now and then, if it's not a bathroom emergency, everyone is breathing and no bones sticking out, we just MAKE time to come here and chat... if you read the past posts, just from the past few days, you'll see that laughter is our therapy....takes our minds out of the situations we are in, and we get to visualize a soon to be 200 pound Old English Sheep Dog on the back of a Harley.... or seeing the Health Inspectors coming out because of a strange smell..... popcorn..... so come join us..... and vent away, that's what we are here for...... tell us what is going on....and welcome ...... we care what you are feeling...hugs
(0)
Report

I want to see that one. AC is once again not sending commets to me.
(0)
Report

Austin, just got to NEWS FEED up under your Account info... it will let you see everything that has been posted...
(0)
Report

I'm thinking that Dyna needs to strut Lily's weave, along with those Daisy Dukes.
Ladee - sorry about the grapes of wrath wagon/hemorrhoid thing! I didn't mean to ruin it for you! Grapes of Wrath Wagon sounds much better than the Roid Wagon anyway. I think I'm digging myself deeper... I hope the wasp trap works. Lemme know. I wish I could made scorpion traps. I've beaten the crap out of a few this past week. So gross. I don't even make human noises when I'm beating them to death with a shoe. They really wig me out. I jump around and scream like a chimp. Can't seem to control it either. Involuntary chimping. Not at all becoming.
(3)
Report

LOL Judy.... we have scorpians too, but haven't seen one in the house (aka.. Roid Wagon...) will let you know what critters I catch with the trap...
My neighbor is starting to make me think she is an animal horder....She has 14 cats that I help feed, and one dog that I love.... that needs this horrible growth taken off her tummy.... and yesterday she shows me a new puppy she found.... alrighty then..... she asked me what should she name it... I said how about CABOOSE... for the end of the animal train she has going on over there..... I go out the door and am constantly shooing cats out of my path.... someone is going to complain... tho she did find an organization to spay and nueter all of them,,, so that is done.... but damn...... enough is enough.... and the whole yard smells like a litter box.... so I may have to load up my Roid Wagon and find another place to live... between the music and the cats, well, let's just say caregiving is cinch....
(1)
Report

Judy, when I lived in Phoenix, I worked up north, (does Sun Valley Rd. sound like an exit?) and I made what I thought was a small scorpion into a foot long when I got done with it. Then someone had the nerve to tell me it was one of those things that looks like a scorpion, but wasn't.....didn't matter to me..........

And in a few months, Dyna and Harley will both have their own weaves.....I don't plan on cutting their hair at all if I can help it. They are the "Shaggy DA" dogs. Experience has taught me that the longer their hair, the easier it is to keep untangled. When it gets about 4", it knots badly from them chewing on each other.

They won't go to sleep unless I turn the lights out, so night-night everyone......
(2)
Report

Thank you Ladee for the info about getting the comments that will help a lot.
(0)
Report

Thank you, now I am laughing about the popcorn smell!
Ladee-thanks for putting things in perspective. We go through so much, I almost forgot I am grieving, too, on top of everything else. No wonder I have no time or patience for much else. Hubby and I picked the music this week, and pictures, and are planing on going for one last cleaning of the house on Sunday. And I'm still waiting to hear if the food has been ordered and the home care set up. Which I will probably be doing at the last minute if the "foot soldiers" didn't get that done. And still dealing with Mom and Dad. Whew!
Well, it's Friday. Thank the heavens. Sooner begun, sooner the weekend.
(2)
Report

Notlike, we stay in 'caregiver mode' so much of the time, we forget we have a life with other things going on.... I know after Ruth died, getting a new job, I was so tore down by the end of the year I didn't know which end was up..... so take care of yourself and know we are thinking of you and praying for you.... lots of hugs, no popcorn, just hugs....
(0)
Report

Saying Good Morning! You guys make my day and I love to read what you have been up to..........yes, I'm still lurking!
Welcome frustrated..........good place to stop and let it all out....lots of wonderful care givers here to help you along your journey.
austin......I don't get notified every day either, I usually have 30+ posts to go through.....the last upgrade that AC did was not so good I'm thinking.
notlike......hugs and prayers for you!!!! Hmmmm.............popcorn for breakfast anyone?
beck......how's your hand doing? I thought about you the other day when Target and I had to do surgery on one of his fingers and he holds up the bandage and asks "now how am I supposed to wipe my butt?" And he doesn't have dementia....I think.
seeme......I'm thinking a sidecar for Dyna.
ladee.......got anything special planned for Sunday....teeheeeeee
Nothing new to report with the col........she loves the NH, hasn't called us in weeks to complain that she is "incarcerated and being held prisoner".......I've noticed her feet are swelling more and she has stopped wearing shoes.
Woke up this morning to sunshine, 4 deer on the pond and and some nasty, noisy crow that ought to be glad I couldn't see him!
Sending prayers to all today.......hope you can find a little piece of time for YOU!
(2)
Report

I'd be curious to know if any of you have an issue with siblings that keep resurfacing for the sake of trying to start a fight and if you ignore them they go to your elderly parent to get them in the middle of it
(0)
Report

Caregiver- My sister and i have a brother, but we don't have a problem with him resurfacing. We have a problem with him surfacing................ He doesn't come around much for fear that sis and i will ask him to stay with dad, so we don't have that problem. Sorry i couldn't be of more help. Hugs stormyy
(1)
Report

I have no trouble with my sister or my husband's family wanting to be involved lets just say the line has been drawn and has never been crossed because of stupidity and silly BS ...I hate to say it but the few of us who keep the ones we love warm the others rather leave us in the cold to suffer...so if they ain't helping and have selfish motives removed them because they do not help the one your caring for and usually their motive is the color green i.e. money...wishing ya all good wknd.
(1)
Report

Well, we are planning on leaving for the beach sunday for a few days, just til wednesday. So maybe things will be ok while i am gone. Right now sis is sick with the stomach virus. She didn't feel good yesterday and last nite the throw ups started on her. Talked to her tonight and she said she thinks that part has passed. So i hope she feels better soon.... Real soon..... Got to go to dads in the morning and do the everyday ritual on him and probably go back again tomorrow nite. ugh...
Then hopefully i will be home free for a few days.....................
Today was kinda emotional for me cause it was Connor's last day at his daycare. He will start school aug 27th. I guess it's just because it is the end of an era. My baby is going to school :( He has just grown up too fast. Where does the time go???? But i got connor's daycare teachers a card and wrote in each one of them. Telling them thank you for watching over connor and for all that they have taught him. And i gave each one of them a gift card to go eat at a lonestar steakhouse. We are really going to miss them. Boo Hoo :( love and hugs stormyyy
(2)
Report

Yep, you are right about that burned. Take care. stormyy
(0)
Report

I attended my 2nd caregiver support therapy. It actually fell on the Saturday that I'm off (boss and I take turns on working on Saturdays.) The topic was Preventing Pressure Sores.

I learned some new things...
* like don't massage on their bony area (guilty!)
* don't turn them on their sides completely but on a 30 degree angle (guilty!)
* change their pampers 5-6 times a day (no can do! We cannot afford to do this. 3 times a day is struggle enough as it is)
* avoid hot water (guilty! I use hot water to clean parents)
* use porous tape (oops! I better go and get those! poor mom's stomach skin must be hurting with the current tapes I'm using!)

FYI, for all of you who had parents go to the hospital and when released, they came home with a bedsore. This happened to mom. She was bedridden for years and she never had bedsores. Goes to the hospital, and she came home with super red painful skin in her private area and this bedsore that was a hole in her buttock. It was quite gross to clean/care for it. Anyway, that bedsore's outer skin has never grown back.

So, the NEWS I learned today is that starting 2014, Medicare will NOT cover any patients discharged from the hospital if they are released with NEW health problems: any infection (due to surgical procedure), pressure sores, any foreign object left inside during surgery...and one more but I forgot what that is. I said, Yeah, Medicare won't pay it but the hospital will come after US to pay it! The speaker said NO. It's something that was passed by Congress (NOT Obama's care) which will make it a law that if a patient has these problems, Medicare has the right to refuse payment AND the hospital must cover the cost - not the patient. Not sure if this also applies to Medicaid. She only said, "Medicare."

In the beginning, we have to introduce ourselves. I hate doing this. So when it was my turn, I stood up and said my name and that I'm caring for my 2 bedridden parents. I tell you, I heard gasps around the room. I froze cuz everyone was staring at me. The leader was waiting for me to continue but I was like a deer staring at the headlights...all those eyes staring at me! I stared back at her and just sat down real quickly.

Hey, did you know that they are now including elderly people who are caring for minors? 2 of them came today for caregiving support! One of them is great grandma taking care of her 2 great grandkids. The 11 year old girl sat next to me. She asked me how old is her great grandma. I stared at her and said that she looks like my dad's age -my dad being 84...so I said she's 83. I shocked the girl. Her mouth literally stayed open. Then she said it's her turn to guess my age. She started with 30, 35, 38, 40, 41, 42 ...etc...She kept repeating that I cannot be 46. Sigh...Feels good!!! I sure hope I don't sit next to them the next meeting. That great grandma can talk and talk and talk! I already get that with my dad...don't need it at the support group... Later!!
(0)
Report

Morning all..we are finally doing ok..I hope! Since dads seizure two weeks ago he was on steroids..so no sleep and they put him on a seizure med. too much sleep..yesterday he seemed a bit more alert. Hope today is the same or better.
Been keeping up with all the goings on..popcorn and puppy stories and Walmart woes..hemmoriods! Whew..yep needed the laughs.
(2)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter