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Oh, Beck, that's sad. I know they're "just" dogs, but they're characters and friends and they're loved. I'm still missing Rita. We had to put her down in April - I told you that before, and I still hear her sometimes, politely tapping the back door to come in. I still think I can put a tasty little bit of cheese or a scrap in her bowl, and I walk over, and its not there. Then, I feel so silly. I haven't been able to make popcorn since she died. She loved popcorn and we'd share a bowl. They become such a big part of our lives, like a four footed family member. So, I get it. Have a good cry, because it sucks. And, don't give yourself a swirly in the toilet. Try Ladee's redirecting trick? I do that with my mother all of the time when she's being her usual negative self. Sometimes it works. Sometimes she has a tenacious grip on the venomous drivel she insists on spewing out, and I can't win, so I tune her out the best I can. Sorry you're having a rough day.
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Thanks for all ur compassionate words for my 4 legged family....i kno it might sound crazy to some...afterall, there r those who r in the midst of losing parents n other loved ones, n i'm babbling about dogs...i feel a bit ashamed for that, but, these dogs r wat keep me sane from, a world, that seems hopeless....sometimes..

Judy...im sure it must b so hard without ur beloved Rita...ur right wen u say their not "just" dogs...they become family n best friends..Ok...i won't put my head in the toilet, bcuz i jst washed my hair....lol....in the shower!!! hugs

Ladee...i have tried to redirect dad away from his compulsive need to talk about his bowel movements, but that went to sh*t....LOL..he's a challenge!!!..LYL
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I've lost my post twice: I want in on the coffee and deck party. I'm in NC and can be a central collection spot. BW loves to travel, and is looking for an escape route anyway, right Book? I think SeeMe and Stormy are in NC too. We have a big deck, strong coffee and lots of room to park. Normally, I love me some coffee, but can't stand it when I am sick, so lately it's been just tea for me. Hopefully by the time we are all in one spot, I'll be all the way well and back to my killer strong coffee. No short order kitchen here either, but I will make strong and average coffee, and tea, hot, cold, sweet and unsweet. Take your pick. If you gotta have something other than that, bring it with you! I'm sorry to hear Sam is sick, poor sam's parents, and poor Lily-bring her along, we'll cheer her up. Austin, that must have been so hard when your dog died, husband sick, big snow storm, you had to shovel: I hate that. My husband was raised in the south, unlike me, and he doesn't register that he should shovel me a path. Now I park in our garage in new house's attached garage, so he will never shovel! He insisted I get a 4whdrive car, so I could go down the driveway full of snow. haha. I might give him a snow blower for the next gift! Back to pets. I had to have a cat put to sleep 20 + yrs. ago. I've never cried so much or so hard before or since. She adopted me when she was a tiny kitten. I became so unglued at the vets office, they called to check on me several times, and sent a very sweet sympathy card, back before that was a trend. So Judy, I wouldn't be able to eat popcorn yet either. I'm thankful for you all, everybody hang in there and find a moment of joy just for you! Kim
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Beck, my sister says shit is the thread of life. When we are little, our parents manage ours, later, have to quiz us about it. We grow up, get married, have kids, start the cycle over. Then we have to listen to our parents talk about their poop, and when our kids kids are grown, our kids will be assessing and managing our poop. My husband just loves to talk about poop, and he makes up songs and jokes and sayings to keep us laughing. If not poop, there's always some other issues to discuss. I used to go see my mom and her big delight was to drag me out to the "sr. center" for lunch, where the favorite topic was....no, not poop, but EAR WAX! God it drove me crazy. They had an ear wax speaker during lunch ('cause lunch wasn't bad enough by itself). I heard people the next table over sharing a lively discussion about wax after the speaker left, and during my whole week visit, I still heard those sr's. chatting up about ear wax. My sister and I have made a "just shoot me" pact for when either of us becomes like THAT! So far my mom doesn't want to talk about her poop, nor smear it around, and I dread the day. We HAVE begun the handwash battle! She is happy to wash correctly to help in the kitchen, after all, that is the main rule in our house. But the water doesn't stay on long enough after the toilet flush to suit me. My latest strategy is to trick her with hand sanitizer "prescribed" by the doctor, since I have been sick. He wants the whole family to use it at least four or five times a day, and always just before meals, because he is worried I am staying sick from being exposed to new germs, somehow. My husband is grateful for this strategy and plays right along. Mom (and most patients) with dementia, lose their ability to smell (btw, it's an early warning sign) but my mom complains the gel sanitizer "stinks", as alcohol is all she can really smell very well. Then she wants to wash her hands with soap and water, so she doesn't have to smell the alcohol. It works out well! Clever, huh!
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Kimbee....EAR WAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll take the sh*t.....Ah, hell.......it's all jst disgusting, but it's wat we do....or wat we doo doo....lol.....(bad joke!)
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Beck, you need to relax !!!!! your poor little brain has been infected with the Pooh virus, it's sorta like when our computer gets a virus.... But Seeme Sue is the Pooh expert here.... poor girl can't talk about anything that Pooh doesn't enter the conversation..... and speaking of.... I will be so happy when M gets her strength back and starts using the toilet again.... DAMN..... it hurt her feelings the first time I sprayed the bedroom down after she went....it was that or hurt her feelings seeing me in a gas mask.....This woman swears she isn't hungry, but where does all that come from.... ???? A backed up sewer system?????
We used to have a poster on the GO thread named Headbanger, that had the funniest pooh posts ever,,, I think she had a blog for awhile called, The Sh*t Chronicles...... we may as well laugh, it's part of what we do.....
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Beck, your poor Lily will not understand every time you take her out. She's going to run next door expecting to see Sam. I wonder how long a memory dog's have before she finally gives up going there?

As for the fruit cocktail party, I appreciate the offer of Bobbie's boat but I will politely decline such an offer. I have been on my first boat ride to the check out the Barrier Reef in Australia. I was absolutely miserable (despite taking ginger pill) the whole 1 hr ride to/from. Couldn't even look up or stand. Needed to pee so badly cuz I made the mistake of staying above deck where the cold wind and waves were splashing on me. Miserable. Learned from that and took the return ride below deck! Calculate the number of days a boat ride will take if it will take me 14 hours to Fly to the West Coast. I'll fly it! No insult to you Bobbie or your boat but I'm a landlubber... If it's okay with you all, I'm not crazy about fruit cocktails. I will just bring my fave dessert - Neopolitan ice cream and chocolate fudge. Oh....do they sell over there donuts with chocolate topping and coconut flakes on top? Can I put a request on that?

I bought the wall surge protector and the heavy duty indoor extension cord. I reminded niece to remind her dad. Nothing was done. Today is Labor Day celebration. He and family will be at the beach barbecuing/eating/swimming. I'm too scared to use the outlet without changing the damaged surge..especially after Kimbee's warning. I stood there this morning trying to nerve myself to take the screwdriver and unscrew it. But, all I kept thinking was I'm going to stick a metal object to unplug the screw on a Damaged surge protector? I changed my mind. I will wait at the mercy of my brother.... So, I made enough tuna/mayo mix for sandwiches. I really do not look forward to eating only tuna sandwich the whole day. I'm debating if I can text sis to swing by KFC and buy us enough food to last the whole day today.... Or do I carry the micro to my bedroom and use it there? ... I have decided that I will no longer use the burner stove. I will have to find time somehow and shop for a new one. The toaster and micro are new. The only one that's old (since mom was still walking!) like over 10 years. I think that was the one that caused the electrical shorting.
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I think dogs do have a good memory. I wish some at our Sr. Center would talk about ear wax instead of almost killing the poor man who calls bingo after he makes a mistake -he is very sick and probably won't be with us too much longer.
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I'll take a chocolate cream filled donut and bring my Coke Zero - the amount I drink would put you coffee drinkers to shame. LOL Please swing by and get me before winter comes and I'm frozen here, with Ladee's coworkers.
Putting up the menu board went well. Mom even offered a recipie for one night. Work with me, that's all I ask...
What happened to Lilly? I missed something.
Welcoem t the new posters. Yup, that's how we spell round here! :)
I liked the bed short cuts. Will have to remember them. I didn't know there was even a way to fold fitted sheets!?! All mine get bunched up and put away. I save the plastic, zippered bags that blankets come in and stuff them in there.
A long, long, time ago, when we were first married, hubby offered to do the laundry on a Saturday when I had to work. So at 6AM I was sorting things into piles to leave for him, with notes on each pile for the water temp and type of soap. After that, we started each doing our own! Now I just shove stuff in and hope for the best, mostly. I love to hang outside, especially because if those darn clothes shrink any more in the dryer, I won't fit into them! My son went on a two week science trip when he was 12. One of the requirements was that the kids could only bring one week of clothes - they had to learn to do their own wash. That alone was worth the trip price to me!
Goodnight, and better tomorrows.
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Bookworm, I though for a moment you were going to tell us that the house burnt down from the description. Good Grief what is wrong with your lazy ass bro! I tell him when y'alls place burns down to not worry for it's just right next door to his house as it catches on fire burning his house too for not helping. I don't see why your sis didn't see or smell anything wrong? You sure she don't have a bit of AD or just lazyness? You poor thing having to deal with all this n take care of both parents. I think you need to let him have it big time n I would talk to the sis too. Thankfuly y'all our alright.
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We took the dogs for their walk tonight and the neighbors said horses weren't allowed in the neighborhood!! I don't think they have grown that much, but their backs are even with my knees, so it is just a matter of turning their heads to bite them. We let them out at midnight a couple of nights ago and I had my PJ's on.....loose top and short bottoms. When hubby gets home at midnight, the dogs go crazy for 30 min. Anyway, Dyna came running up to me, jumped up, got under my top, and scratched my nipple and boob all the way down. OUCH!!! Do you know how bad I wanted to scream in the middle of the driveway at midnight!!! LOL!!! Someone would have called the cops!! If they didn't hang to my belly, it wouldn't have been so bad. I lifted my shirt up right there to check for blood!!! A peeping tom could have had a field day without even bothering to peep!!! But I wanted to take advantage of the street light in front of our yard..................
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Seeme....LOL....the visual with that post may jst haunt me!! i jst love those dogs....i mean....horses....giddy-up, giddy-up......hugs
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Seeme, boy can I relate to hanging boobs.... so tired of my waist line being double sweaty,,, and the Diva jumped on the bed this morning and shredded my leg.... she bolted when I starting cussing.... I had just gone to the restroom and wasn't settled back in bed yet, had a been a few inches over she wouldn't have got me... so I am wide awake wiping blood off my leg and hunting the neosporin.....I apologized to her later for the cussing... I told ya'll she is the only living thing I find myself apologizing to every single day.... after all she LETS me live here...

Want to share with ya'll about ' taking the high road' in this mess with the coworkers... I was nuts setting there listening to that one M calls, 'that other thing' ( If I didn't love M before , I do now...lol) and when I realized she was 'right' fighting... I just let her win. told her fine, she was right, I was wrong.... and ya'll, I felt the weight come off of me... sometimes it's just about saying what some idiot needs to hear...I know what is going on there and it doesn't matter if she thinks I'm the bad guy... I just needed her to SHUT THE F*CK UP.... so we'll see how things progress this week.... but I am getting rest this weekend and am much calmer... Notlike's suggestion about if this has anything to do with M or S will certainly get used this next week... the rest of the crap I will try my best to ignore.... but I am so damned reactionary when I am tired... so I own my part in the mess.... I have a feeling she isn't done yet... she keeps making refernce to my age..... does she not know old ladies have more game plans than she does.....and that we are wise enough to know when to just say to hell with it and make them think they won.... I just know I feel better about the whole mess....

And Notlike, I busted out laughing at your misspelled welcome.... I have spell check and don't use it half the time.... ya'll know what I'm saying...I think every one of us should just one day, post what we write, no going back and respellling, correcting, just hit submit... I think we would all just laugh until we cried..... so I may try that in the morning.... before I finish my first cup of coffee....
Love ya'll and hugs across the miles....
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Sometimes i think my life belongs on the comedy network.........I went outside to smoke a cig, n it's the first nite that i could smell that fall is in the air. Do u kno wat i mean by that?? It's getting much cooler here, at nite, n for the first time this season, i hear an OBNOXIOUS crickett, that is interrupting my pity-party. I hate that!!! Suddenly, Lily hears it too, n decides to go hunting thru the yard to catch the lil bastard..She's running back n forth, over n over....squealing like a pig, looking for this damn crickett. I was completely entertained in the "dog n crickett" show, dropped my cig on my foot, burned myself....laughed so hard that i pissed on myself............AGAIN!!!!!!! N she didnt even find the f-n crickett.......OMG.......I jst love my dog!!!!!!!!!
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Ya, I'm having one of those comedy nights too, except I'm not laughing. Dropped a pen on the kitchen floor, picked it up, whacked my head on the kitchen counter on the way back up, dropped the pen, picked it up, whacked my head on the counter again, dropped the pen and left it there before I knock myself out like an idiot. I don't know where Larry and Moe are, but I'm doing the Curly thing. Not even aided by alcohol. Bringing my tea out to smoke on the patio now. Would much rather find a cricket than a dang scorpion. Better get my flops on.
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Judy........u crack me up!!!! We should b sitting on the patio, together....I'll bring the crickett, if Lily can find the f-n thing!!! Hope ur head is ok.....
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Wouldn't that be nice, Beck? I wish I could smell fall in the air. We had humidity on top of the heat. I never get that crisip fall smell here anyway. I remember it from the east coast though. My favorite time of year. I'm glad I crack you up - I was laughing at you peeing your pants (I just had my bladder lifted so I can laugh now!). I think I'm overtired. Slept like crap last night. I'll tackle that pen on the floor in the morning. Sheesh.
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You guys are funny! Judy, when I or my dad drop things on the floor, I have no problem bending down to pick it up. I have problem getting back up! My knees hurt so I then need to grab something to pull myself up....

So I now fall back to my childhood ability to pick up things with my toes. When we were in elementary age, us 10 children competed in EVERYTHING. No such thing as boys or girls games. We all competed in Jacks, jump rope (longest and fanciest), baseball, basketball, wrestling, sword fighting, etc....One of those pissing contests included who can pick up the most things with their toes. We all perfected that due to our competing spirit.

So, when my pen or anything else falls to the floor, I just use my toes to grab it, raise my foot up and reach for it with my hand. It just amazes dad endlessly. He has dropped his small pillow, eye glass, even the bottle of lotion. He just keeps exclaiming how my toes are able to pick it up! Maybe you can start practicing ... Oh wait, bending down is good exercise...At least you did 2 stomach bends!
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Bookworm...."toe grabbing" is an art form....not everybody can do it....For me..after 2 major back surgeries...it is a necessity....it's also a great way to discipline kids...lol.....
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MonkeyToes.... I mean, Bookworm! I don't have a problem bending over to pick the pen up, its just whacking my head on the way back up that got me. Twice. But, maybe you're right about picking stuff up with my toes. It might save me from a self inflicted brain injury. Or maybe I should just kick it out from underneath the breakfast bar before bending over. When I was a kid, I used to be able to give my brother a wicked pinch with my toes. I might still have it in me.
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Judy: As usual you crack me up. I can just picture you doing the "Curly thing" You are such a wacko. I'd love to gather the AC group and do an intervention for you, but Beck is so weird with her cricket fetish and her dog weave. Ladee is "reactionary when she is tired." Nobody would believe what Book goes through everyday and you would insist that I am the cause of all the problems. Looks like you only have your blue tights and tuna cans to get you out of your funk.

Here's a joke I heard recently: "I woke up this morning and got out of bed. I stood up and had severe chest pain. It scared me, but then I realized I was standing on my nipples."

By the way, my mom was born with handicaps that affected her arms. She was a master toe fighter. She could pinch the shit out of you before you knew it was coming. Those toes were wicked.

Love you all, Cat.
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Wow! And my nieces say that my toe-pinching is worse than my finger-pinching. They haven't met you guys and your relatives!
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Book: You know we are multi-talented here. Toe pinching is just part of our game. Love, Cat.
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I have decided that tomorrow morning, I will do what I have to do with the damaged wall surge protector and the extension cord. I don't know what made me think my brother would help. He never really did in the past. That was one of the reason I became suicidal in June. He lived next door but no help from any of them with the parents. I let my fear overcome my common knowledge of my bro. What made me think that he would care to come over, and change the wall surge protector so that we can use it to cook? All I can say is that I am soooo fed up with Tuna sandwiches! Tonight, I have decided while cleaning mom's trache (and crying) that I will need to do this myself. Tomorrow, I will give dad the phone in case I do something stupid like touch the screwdriver into the socket hole or if the surge protector is damaged inside and I get eletrocuted. At least dad/mom won't be helpless in bed waiting for someone to stop by. He can use the phone.

I don't know how to splice the extension cord and fit it into the man-made hole between the livingroom/outside kitchen. But, I will just plug it in, have it go through the doorway (door won't be able to close shut). When not in use, we can pull the extension into the outside ktichen so that the door closes.

I can't go another day without Real Food. Sandwiches are only good for snacking. Not as a meal. Plus, I'm sooooo hungry! I decided not to take the micro to my bedroom. Everytime I turn on the iron to iron my clothes, the light flickers. So, I decided not to use the micro there. Time to sleep now. At least I will be more alert tomorrow morning than I am tonight. Night everyone....
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Dear Bookworm....thank you for your kindness and words of wisdom. I was reading your profile and know what a heavy load you have carried for such a long time. I can tell you are an amazing person. I am thankful I can ease this time in my mothers life. It is a difficult balance for all of us caregivers who have families or lives of our own. There are so many days I wonder how I can keep it up, and my mother is in a nursing home. I read these stories of women who are trying to care for their parents in Their home and my heart physically aches for them and I do not know how on earth they do it. Just visiting my mom, helping her get ready for bed every night, etc wears me down emotionally. When my husband and I do find away to get away for a few days, I am guilt ridden and have anxiety the whole time I am away. I have to take the time for my marriage and to remind myself what my normal life used to be like - but it is never an emotional vacation. My husband now takes trips without me and although I know it is good for him, my heart aches that I am left behind. It is no ones fault, there is no place to put my anger, it is just what it is at this time in my life. I have many blessings, but I feel so trapped. I will continue to do the best I can for my dear mother, but I do pray that she won't linger with the poor quality of life she has. Blessed be to all the brave women (and sometimes men) who share their stories here. Before I entered into this new role of caring for my mom the last 3 three years, I had no idea of the difficulty of this type of life challenge. I was thinking one day that when we raise our children, we re-live our own childhoods through watching them grow. When we care for our elderly parents we are per-living our own older years. It is so ironic,
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Zannie, I could 'feel' the sadness in your post.. I am going to ask a personal question, and you certainly don't have to answer if you don't want to, but if she is in a NH, why do you put her to bed??
It sounds like your guilt is larger than the situation, have you ever considered counseling to help you with this, not because there is something wrong with you, but to help you 'let go' a little....
My intention here is to let you know I am concerned at the level of guilt? anxiety?, I'm not even sure what word to use...while I praise and respect you for all you do for your mom, your hubby taking trips without you is not good... someday she won't be here and what is this doing to your marriage, that will still be here hopefully.... ?
I may not be wording this right, so pray you are not offended, but I doubt your mom would want your life to come to a standstill until she passes.... just know you are in my prayers, in my thoughts.... and sending you angels and hugs...
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Book, at least go on the internet and go to a DIY sight to learn how to do this safely... is there an electricain on the island that will let you pay him in installments if you can't pay for it all at one time... I really think this is a grand gesture, but come on.... it's very very dangerous.....after all you've been thru.... and a surge protector takes you out.... think about your options before you try this on your own..... hugs
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Ladee, I have just spent 1-1/2 hour (it's now 130AM) researching online. I did get sidetracked for a while on this problem one guy had befoe i remembered I was researching for my problem. But I had to read it to the end, don't know what they were talking about (electrical terms used.) Anyway, I found a good site that does say i can do it on my own. BUT, I do not have the tool to do it. I knew I had to turn off the breaker. But I also need this tool to make sure that even if the breaker is off, that the Power (electricity) is off. I don't have that tool. I can get it for about $10.00 at the ..whatever store you can find it. Except, I can't drive to get it because I'm stuck with the parents.

I give up! If brother doesn't come today, I will get the phone book on Tuesday and make calls for an electrician.

By the way, it wasn't a grand gesture. I figured if I turned off the breaker, and change it, I should be fine. But just to make sure, I Googled it. I guess it does make sense. Just because you turn off the breaker doesn't mean the flow of electricity just freezes. Duh!!! Ladee, you know me! I always Google! I would never have touched that damaged surge protector without Googling. I just assume it was a simple matter to do. Obviously, it's not ... well, it would have been if I had that $10.00 tool.

I will wait to see if brother comes today to do it. If not, I will call the electrician. As for electrician - money is no problem. Every month, I make sure that a portion of dad and my money goes to this emergency fund. If the fridge or air con breaks down, I take it from there. That's how we were able to buy the fridge and air con and plumber services (all together totaling $2000.00) within several months period.

I only logged back in just now to let you all know that I can't change it by myself after researching it. And you know what, secretly, I am SOOOO GLAD THAT I DON'T HAVE THAT $10.00 TOOL!!! .... Kimbee scared me! The good kind of scare, Kimbee. I really would have tried to do it if you hadn't reminded me the dangers....Gotta go. Time to sleep.

Zannie, I will read your post later this morning -after I've rested and taken care of the parents.
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Damn, what a night we had......it started with hubby cutting the grass yesterday. What's the big deal? He didn't suck up the clippings. Harley just loves to eat grass, especially if it is in clumps from all the rain and humidity. Yesterday we put the cage in the kitchen with the door open and they seemed to love it. Although there is room for both of them, they like to hog it. Then hubby sees Dyna hanging over the wooden gate up to her armpits, so he decided to raise it a little off the floor to make it higher. At 11 pm we take the dogs out for the last time. They both go crazy in the front yard, jumping and laying on the blue rug junipers, biting, wrestling, Harley ran through the garden and a dirt pile, ate grass and never pooped. They came in the house with grass and grass stains on their feet. OK, I'll clean it up in the morning.....we go to bed at 11:15. At 2:05 hubby gets up cause a dog is crying. All I hear him say is SHIT, DAMN....I get up.....Harley is smaller than Dyna, so he squeezed under the gate and has been loose in the living room for who knows how long. I think Dyna was crying to tell on him. He has shit in the living room and puked grass in about 6 places...hubby doesn't have his glasses on, thinks Harley peed, so he put paper towels on the spots and stepped on them, getting the grass parts stuck better into the carpet.......

When I get into the kitchen, to get the woolite carpet cleaner, I found Harley had puked twice in the pen on the pet pad, someone peed on the throw rug in front of the cage, hubby has put the dogs outside and is running around the kitchen with only his drawers on , yelling SHIT DAMN.........

I cleaned up the 6 spots on the carpet.......now those are the only places where the carppet is CLEAN.....one spot is still yellowish.....hubby lowered the gate, and by 2:30 we were back in bed. It is almost noon and I am not dressed, kitchen not cleaned, but hubby made omelets for breakfast in an effort to get on my good side. The dogs are the dirtiest I have ever seen them, as they have played hard this morning. Guess it is bath day today for sure...................
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BW, glad you are not doing the electrical thing. Makes ME feel better. Electricity and I just don't unerstand each other.

Judy, been there, done that with the countertop.....glad to hear I'm not the only idiot.....at least that's how I felt the second time.....that probably did cause my brain damage...........

Zannie, have you been to the doctor to see if you are depressed and need medication? It is nothing to be ashamed of, and most caregivers are on some type of meds. It is understandable that you might already be feeling the "loss" of your mom, but hopefully not at the expense of your marriage. Check it out and let us know.
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