This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Hi everyone. I hope you're all doing well. :)
Today, I had a day off. I slept in till about 8:30, then I had to go to the bank, then I had to go book a hotel for my mother and her husband because they are coming to visit on saturday. Well the 2 hotels that DON'T charge an arm and a leg were all booked up because of this little hick towns county fair. So I had to go get the only room left in the hotel that DOES charge an arm and a leg, which was a suit so now I have no arms or legs, haha. No, it wasn't really as bad as I thought it was going to be. So thennnnn, after I got that all taken care of, I came home and cleaned for a few hours upon Grandmother's request. I have just finished off a big bowl of sardines, hot sauce and crackers (yum hehe) for lunch, and soon I will be taking a trip downtown to get some sand paper and wood stain to make Gram's rocking chair look beautiful. I might get a paint pen and write Grandma on the top too, haha. It will be a fun project. :) Well, off to the hardware store I go! Oh, and I cleaned Lulu's house all up too and she says "Tweet tweet". :)
Guess that I am going to need to put together a tool list for the hubby, mind you he's been a mechanic all his life.. He's put his drill/driver in there what we need with that I have no clue, He did put the impact wrench, so that part is good, Now we need all the other auto stuff, wrenches, sockets, etc.. Then of course you have to have the southern tool staples, WD-40 and Duct Tape.. Think that we have figured out where to keep those, and where that is there will be extra room for some other things, nothing that will ruin if they get greasy though, I've never in my life seen a mechanic that took such lousy care of their tools..lol.
Jam? did col survive the trip into town? did you survive it without hurting someone? Joan, your son is a absolute hottie, and from what you say was a sweetheart as well. I thought at first that it might have been a picture of your current boytoy..
How has everyone else fared today?
I'm just doing a drive-by......will be back later to report on the col and everything else that has gone on.
Welcome Linda22......glad you are here....hang out with us and we'll have you sitting in the corner, talking to yourself before you know it!
Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
frame it?
give it back to the cow - that could be difficult
Time for me to try and go back out and see what I can do as far as rearranging that camper, need to have it in line for the great escape.
Gary gets away a lot - his horses are a couple of hours drive away and on days off he is always down there and bopping around the countryside
I stay home shop cook and clean and try to recoved from the latest bug
I explained nicely to him a few times that I need to get away - have a change - even for a short while. - so one weekend I got a ohone call from him which went like this -
I will be castrating calves with John (farmer friend) and will be here all day, so this is an opportunity for you to get out - just drive yourself down and would you pick pou a BBQ chicken on the way.
I was speechless then said i hadn't counted on a 4 hr round trip just to get out for a few hours. First i though he just wanted me to bring chicken and then I reakized he really thought he was offereing me an outing and i saw the funny side and giggled about it for a while.
I managed to explain later - with a straight face, that this was not quite the kind of outing I had in mind
gotta go ♥
I am going to the swimming pool tomorrow. Yupppeee!!! It's so hot here that we just feel like diving in water, being showered by water, drinking water. The dogs and I go to the river every day. They swim and I walk in the river trying to keep my feet cool, so the rest of the body doesn't collapse for the heat.
Starri: I see in my imagination a whole set of cars, trailers, bikes, full of every kind of things, moving through the country like a small train! Don' forget the can opener and the bottle opener!
Emjo, what you say about your boy moves me a lot. He must have been a great boy. One of these people you would like to know! And I am sure his friends still talk a lot about him, and miss him.
Kisses everybody I have to work if I want to swim tomorrow. And I have to put my mother in bed!
I've been dreaming about this wonderful experience traveling, I was telling him about some reading I had done on rte. 66, there's not much of it left, but there is still some, he's been on it and has no interested in going back, if this trip is going to be nothing more than hi-tailing it to places he wants to go, I want no part of it...
Ros, I have the can opener in the camper already, have to have that for the dog food, and canned goods... the bottle opener I had not thought about as we don't drink, but hell I might start again, if this trip turns shitty..
There are groups of people that travel together like that, they go where the warm weather takes them, snow birds we call them.. their up north during the summer and down south during the winter. I saw a picture today on the computer that someone had taken during the winter there in AZ, it had so many RV's there it looked like a city.. probably had enough people to make a mid-sized city.
I don't think that I want to hang with that kinda crowd, too many people for one.. While some of them might be down to earth people, I have a feeling there will be a lot of those who are not, and it's those types I can do without.. Snobs. those who think that they are better than others... have absolutely no use for them, and have no problem in telling them so..lol, would get us kicked out the first day.
I think that I need to talk ladee into firing up the banana boat, picking up some of you who live around where she does, I'll grab some from this end and we'll start our own caravan.
emjo, spread the cow pattie around with love.. that's what we do...most of us are used to the poo smell, so we think it is a wonderful prize to win... and hope we hear more stories about your son... looking forward to them...
Starri, you will be so tired and worn out by the time you get everything done, you will have to take a nap before you get to leave...will hook up with you on FB this evening...
Jam, can't wait to hear about the glasses....hope you had a good day anyway...
Seeme, how are you doing, I am loving you and missing you, hope we hear from you soon...
Debbie, if you have all that creative energy sure wish you lived closer so you could come help me clean the banana boat..... hope the visit with your mom goes good. Let us know how that turns out....
Vic, and who else am I missing? you have to excuse an old lady with too much on her mind, but will check back in later.....hugs across the miles to everyone..
get that work done so you can go for your swim... relax, and let yourself think you are somewhere else...
Oh, and have to tell you what the Diva did..... she has a little scratching pad, to keep her from clawing the furniture... I would not open a new can of food for her today, as she is doing that, sniff, turn her nose up and walk away thing again...so when I came into the living room this evening, she very deliberately walked over to the pad, sniffed at it and walked away. Layed down with her ears straight up, tail swithching and just looked at me, I went to see and she had WET ON IT.. I just looked at her, she was so smug, I told her I KNOW how to deal with senile behavior and she didn't win anything and threw it in the trash..... now who is the crazy one, could be me for talking to the cat, but she KNOWS she did wrong..... hugs to you...
Pot luck every night so no "one" person is having to cook, the fine china (paper plates, plastic cups and plastic forks and knives) beyond having to do the pots and pans, no clean up.. Paper plates make good fire starters for the bon fire we would have for after dinner.
I can picture all of us, sitting around the campfires, sipping the drink of our choice and just talking till the early morning hours. Relaxing and for once in our lives having no demands on our time and energy.
Heck, now I am wanting to cry..
starri we will never figure them out - a trip to his buddies on a motorcyle - Oh yeah - just what u need lmao another time when i said I needed to get out because all i did was shop, cook and clean - his voice went soft and he said Maybe we could take a night when I know I will be off work early and... grocery shop together - FAIL - no dear - out for supper would be better and bless his heart we did a few times
Once when I was being a bit ornery G looked at me and thought a bit and said "Mares have hormones and mares are hard to handle". I looked straight at him and said 'Geldings don't have hormones and they are easy to handle. Stallions have hormones and they have attitides - and you are no gelding!'" lol - made my point
He was a bullrider in his youth - won prizes and broke bones - according to him this is how you get a bull rider.
You know how a bull rider becomes a bull rider?” he asks me. “He puts a handful of marbles in his mouth and each time he rides, he spits one out. When he’s lost all his marbles, he’s a bull rider.”
works for me - losing my marbles too - don't need to ride a bull to do that
(((((((((((((((starri and ladee))))))))))))))))))) and all - there is a deep need in us to have some fun, relax, hang loose whatever u want to call it - and you gals on the front lines need it more than most and yet you carry on through the poop (pomp) and the circumstance - and do what has to be done and my hat goes off to you -
all of you deserve medals and a break of somekind.
starri you may find that once things settle down a bit you will do some grieving for your mum
ladee - my daughter had a cat like that - pure evil - she would come up to be petted then hiss at you when you did - is your tortoiseshell by any chance - they are called naughty torties
debbie - good for you - what a labour of love refinishing Grandpas chair - good luck with the visit - you are an awesome young woman - scars and all -we all have scars somewhere
ros - my boy was well loved by his friends and his family- I bet they talk about him too I can talk to his indian grandma about him but not with my mother - though he was equally good to both of them - the only one of my kids that went out of his way to see his grandmas and do special things for them
Linda - one of the best sayings I have read is "what others say about you is none of your business: maybe doesn't quite apply but like you say - every one has an opinion - and they are entitled to it but not to tell you how to live your life - don't u feel like saying "Shut the **** up! ooops -white haired old ladies are not supposed to say those things
jam have u got the glasses and are they staying on?, how are the turkeys -will they be ready by thanksgiving?
seeme - praying about your mum and for some solutions
indy - lol - i too can picture your mum and dad
asg hugs to you and your boys
vic hugs too
stormy - how's it going? look after and enjoy that child of yours
everyone else hugs and love and prayers ♥
a campfire would be great!!!! -
dd had to have elvira put down a year ago at age 15. my toonie - a tabby - has taken to nibbling on my hand in affection and sometimes he gets a bit carried away with those sharp teeth of his and i have to yell at him
elvira could play for 1/2 an hour with a piece of dust - never saw a cat that could entertain herself so well -and when she wanted to cuddle she could be quite disgusting - come up on your lap lie on your chest and suck your buttons - blech! and turn nasty very quickly - apparently torties are like that
if 2 leo mamas are 2 much i can be a grandma - which makes lulu my 1st great grandchild :-)
Starri, there are a million Carmen Johnsons on FB, want to give me a hint by witch picture is yours????
now I have to figure out how to lock up what I am writing - don't think it would be a good thing for G to read. ;-)