The Caregiver... How are YOU doing today?

I meant to ask if there is anyone else that shares these same feelings I have though they are confusing and certainly not healthy? I appreciae your comments.

Hey there gang. Hope all of you are doing ok today. Sounds like some of you are having a rough day. Sorry about that I hope it gets better for you. Well a update on dad. My sister called the dr this morning we both were over here at dads when she made the call to find out the results of the chest ct scan from yesterday. And they said they found out that dad had some enlarged lymph nodes in his chest along with the one he's got in his groin area. Also, they found that he has also some gall stones. So the dr. said he thought that we needed to have pet scan done to see what all else is happening with him. So now we are just waiting to hear about when to carry him to the hospital to get the pet done. I could be wrong but it just doesn't sound good to me. My brother doesn't even know about this yet. His dumb and drunk ass has not even called about dad. Since the other day when he called and he was drunk then and said what's this I hear about dad going to the hospital for tests. Well sis started telling him and he kept interrupting her so she just quit trying to tell him. So pissed with that family. They just need to move the hell away far far away. Sick of their bitchin and belly aching. So what do ya'll think of the news on dad. Interested in ya'll thoughts of what it could be. I guess I shouldn't speculate until we have more results but it's kinda hard not to. Then for the other thing my sister has this wedding she and her husband have got to go to. The wedding is in the mountains about 5 hrs. away from where we live at. The wedding is Aug.6th but they have got to go up on the 5th and will not be back until the 7th. I told that brother of mine that I needed him to stay those two nights with dad. And he said that he would, but now this was last week I told him this before we found out that he was drinking bad again. So now sis is up in the air about leaving me here with dear brother because she is worried that he is going to leave me high and dry and not come and stay with dad. I told her not to worry about it that I would take care of him. Whether asshole comes through or not. But I can tell she is still worried about it. I think she was thinking about maybe carrying dad to the wedding but I told her she did not need to do that with all that's going on with him right now. So I'm sure I will be stressing that weekend for sure. I will be on this site venting that weekend because probably all hell is going to break loose with that crazy family of mine. Well gotta go give dad his insulin shot I will be checking back with ya'll and I will let ya'll know when he gets the pet done. Love ya'll for being here for me. Take Care everyone!!!!! Stormy

oh honey, I do share your feelings. I, too, have teenagers, and my mom was living with me, then I had to absolutely move her out or I would have done the unspeakable to myself. I have told my husband that and i don't think he took me seriously. I do understand those feelings,, you are not alone. peace be with you,,,,,

Hi all - here in the mountains but not a happy camper - more on that l8r - hi to the new ones - unhelpful unsympathetic sibs seem to be the norm - and denial too - mine saves every crazy email my mum sends her - to prove what I don't know - evidence for something I gather - other than that she is a user - mother is trucking along - same old - same old - going through her repertoire of demands/needs/ trying to get attention - the latest is she wants money from me again - she lives in in one of the most expensive seniors complexes, HAS to buy her clothing at the most expensive stores, and now says the gov't won't pay for any more of her drugs (prob not true) so she needs financial help from me while her financial advisor has told me she is doing fine. The problem may be that she won't use generic drugs - insists on the "best" ones -all part of the BPD needing to feel "special". sig other is trying to figure out why she is like this - the answer is she has borderline personality disorder - she is mentally ill and anything I say or do in not going to change that - I didn't cause it and I can't fix it! but I do need to protect myself

Gordie's (for the new ones - my youngest son) d day is Saturday and 9 years ago today we were in the hospital and he was liying there - age 23 havng been assaulted, had head trauma and basically unresponsive - we were told he had a 5% chance of recovery. It all happened so suddenly - ladee - know all about PTSD and I am sorry yours is kicking in - be sure I understand totally - I am afraid this post is all about me today - I am about ready to kick sig other G out -after leaving for what is my holiday to help me through this time - the first day was spent at G's friends farm while G fixed the brakes on the old truck he uses with the horses - he was touchy that morning cause he had to deal with his ex - OK I am supportive - then all day on the brakes - OK I am supportive - sit in the truck and press the brake pedal a million times as required - drive around the friggin countryside looking for a cheap part, finally found a new part for $7:50 and probably wasted that much gas driving around, the next morning had to water the horses at one place - found out they had enough water so all that was wasted effort, had to water some others - they did need it, drove the car till the red gas light came on despite me saying we need gas - and this is my car by the way - better for travelling in than his, and then it started - all you do do eat and sleep - you could do that at home, "right" , then another one and I said -Look you may not be my ideal travelling companion either but I think i can put up with you - you knew my limitations before we left - I have never pretended otherwise - and who in God's green acres can keep up with you anyway except your kids! If we want to go together we have to compromise. (This man (aged 60) and his bros all work 14 hr days get up at 6 and do it again and pull all nighters once in a while) then - we stopped for gas and the prices had gone up 1 cent just before we stopped - that was my fault because i wanted to stop at a store before we got to the gas station- OK now I am knowing he has a problem and it is leaking out in my direction - anyway the rest of the trip was fine - we stopped at the hoo doos and took some great pictures and hiked the trail - nearly 2 hours - over a not very well groomed trail - I slid a few times (on some meds that affect my balance) and pulled my thigh muscle - he calls that a nice little walk - I think I am 73 yo, have CFS/fibro and I think I did d*mn well. Got into town and picked up a nail in a tire- to give him credit he got a tire kit and fixed it - then off to the hotel and soak in the hot tub. that was good then this morning -how is your leg - I said not good enough to hike on again and anyway I need to rest -(the fibro) so you go do your (prearranged) day of hiking and hunting for 10 hrs till your toe nails turn black (happened last year) - take the car - I will be fine here - and then Him - "You and I holiday differently. - Me Yeah -what's new and WHAT'S your problem You knew that before we left and I have been hearing about it now the past day or so.Him - Oh I realised that the 2 hr walk was about your limit. Me yeah -so what? this is not new. so what's your problem. Him - I don't know - Me - we are not the same (duh) there are lots of ladies 20 yrs younger than me would wouldn't/couldn't do it either - if we want to be together we need to compromise - then please figure out what your problem is while you are on your hike? and please consider resting a bit tomorrow as your bum knee (he wears a brace sometimes and sometimes needs heavy painkillers) will be bad after hiking and you need that leg to drive 8 hrs the next day.. I have told him before that if he needed someone to keep up with him he better go find someone else - I want an end to this one way or another!

I don't need this especially right now and for 2 cents I would catch a bus or three home - the hotel room is paid for - on my credit card - he looks after food and gas /regular car maintenance - he can come back to an empty hotel room and see if he likes his own company better. I am so pissed off!!! he is not usually like this or I wouldn't be with him -starri - I heard you when you said you were the best thing that happened to Glenn - well I am the best thing that ha[ppen to G too - his ex is the most controlling woman I have ever heard about who, after 10 years divorced still obstructs whatever he tries to do and still works hard to keep him away from or in the bad books of his kids ( aged 20 to 30) who he adores - throws tantrums and the kids are afraid to upset mum! - then he had a gambling g'friend who took him for some $$$, then one who cheated on him and took him for some $$$ - and then me - I treat him with respect, and am suppotive to him, he gets a very good $$$ deal with me in terms of living arrangements (and that may be changing!) I am faithful as the day is long, I don't mind that he spends most of his free time with his horses, I have been and am open that I cannot keep up with him and am not even going to try - WTF's going on!!!

anyway thanks for the opportunity to vent - these are hard days for me -flashbacks to my Gordie in hospital - and all the feelings that come up - the mountains are lovely and the wildflowers on the hike yesterday were amazing. Unfortunately I brought along a small memory card for the camera so couldn't get all the shots i wanted but will pick up another one.

Wouldn't be surprised if he is upset because this is a more expensive hotel that he would take though certainly not outrageous but I booked later than I would have cause he said - Oh we don't have to book there will be lots of room - NOT! and I insisted on a swimming pool - I haven't been out of town in over a year! - heck - we brought lots of groceries so the food will not cost much but he nickels and dimes himself into the ground other than spending whatever he wants to looking after the horses (over 200 of them now and not selling but a few and keeps breeding them) I have suggested a few times that we sit down and figure out what the horses cost him and he says yes but obviously doesn't want to. So don't get down on me about a few days in a hotel with a swimming pool!!! BTW I am self supporting - worked hard and long for my pension despite fibro etc - just retired last year - so really all he has are his own expenses! Aaaaargh!!!!

thanks for reading - getting my head sorted now - but really need to put my energy into dealing feelings about losing my babes (Gordie) and need to do that the next few days - yet know I have to lay some things out to sig other so we can put whatever is bothering him to bed - or ... these days doesn't take much for me to hit the limit

take care all of you out there - say a few prayers for me - need them right now - love ♥♥♥ Joan

Darro, You are not by yourself with these feelings. I think all of us have had them at one time or another. I too was thinking thoughts about hurting myself and my dad and it is a awful feeling to feel so out of control with your anger and depression. I finally had to go to the dr. and I was crying to the nurse and then to the dr. I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown and she told me I needed to be on some anti depressants. I've been taking them for almost a month now. I think and hope they are working things do seem a bit better. Plus I made a new schedule of hours to stay with my dad. I was just staying too long and too much. We brought in a new lady that is helping me and my sister and that in itself has helped so much. So you might want to think about going to the dr. and getting on something. I think about everyone here is taking something. Things just get so desperate. You need to talk to someone too probably. Hell it helped me just talking and crying to the nurse and dr. You take care and come back to talk to us. Stormy

Starri .... Mom does all the little things daily. I don't try to stop her, she has her routine. Can't take that away...it is the stuff like floors and trash that if it isn't empty in her time...
As for dad it is all neurological..
Emjo...take care you are in my prayers!

sosad and darro - as jam says - #1 is you have to look after yourself - otherwise this caregiving thing gets over your head and you end up not living but existing and sometimes barely that

my mum has BPD (borderline personanlity disorder with a healthy whack of narcissism added to it and has been a major problem all my life - many years agio I determined she would never move in with me - she came to visit me a few times and wouldn't leave till I forced this issue -she is 99 and going strong (just coming thro a second hip op) though her memory is failing somewhat but still manipulating away like crazy.

have I been suicidal - yes when I was younger and she was particularly abusive - though i was never interested in doing it but sure had the thoughts

my youngest son was assaulted and died 9 tears ago - it changes you - I figure life has handed me enough bad ones and I don't need to accept any more

my mother is in assisted living and still pretty capable of looking after herself
with a bit of help but none of it is enough nor does anyone do it right so the complaints are continuous - my answer is "tough" I moved her twice within a year as she didn' get along in one place and told her if she couldn't get along where she is the next move was a nursing home -I will not spend my hard earned retirement money on supportiing her in her expensive lifestyle -my health has suffered the past two years from all of this - and I have drawn back and cut contact for now with the support of my counselor (BTW he is christian and a pastior as well as a qualified counselor). I may give up POA as mother uses it to manipulate and hurt - I am in contact with those who are helping her -

I do want to emphasize that while your parent(s) may need help you do NOT have to be the one who does it - others on aging care can tell you about options suitable to your financial situations - in mother's case (in Canada) if she uses up all her money on the place she is now - there are government subsidized places she would be eligible for - nursing homes. Would i have to keep a sharper eye on her - yes - and I can do that at a distance.

your teens need their mother - teen age is not an easy time for many - and most importantly YOU need YOURSELF! so get yourself higher on your priority lest

you can't make someone else happy or healthy but you can stop yourself from getting dragged down in the black hole

do something good for yourself today and keep doing those things that build you up = love others LIKE you love yourself

hugs and prayers - ♥♥♥ Joan

I just had a whole book written and it went POOF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Again.

Welcome to dar................yes, we all have the same feelings you are going through right now. This job we are doing is the pits...........plain and simple. It's hard on us mentally and physically and if anyone tells you it's a breeze and it's a privilege....they're not being truthful to themselves or anyone else. Or their charge doesn't have any mental or physical deficits. There is no running through fields of daisies around here........I'm not sure how to interpret your statement "my family would be better if I were gone".......no they wouldn't. They all need you, but right now you are feeling very overwhelmed by the burden of being the care giver. We all are right there beside you. It sounds like you are in the middle of the old "should I place mom or not" argument. On the one hand you know it's the right and most loving thing to do, on the other you feel guilt because you should be able to do this and after all she is your mother.......I started this thread because YOU come first, without YOU there is no care giving, and the care giving doesn't always have to be in your home. Sometimes placing your charge becomes necessary for the well-being of everyone concerned. When you start to feel a possible physical threat to yourself or other family members, it's time to start thinking of other alternatives.

Are we a Sweet 16 or turning 17? How exciting! I wish I could remember when I was that age....been a year or two...lol. Tell your daughter Happy Birthday from the crazy YOU bunch, that is going to cheer up Mom.

Time to get Target's butt in gear for Wal-Mart. Will be back later with the laser story.

Love and Hugz to all,
Jam

still tryng to get caught up here

stormy ((((hugs)))) just have to go through this one step at a time though I know that speculating is inevitable - keep taking care of you and your hubby and LR and get as much help as you need and can afford from outsiders

ASG - so good to hear from you - I grew up with a batty lady and know what it was like - letting go of your batty lady's concerns are good - your kids need a sane mum - it was my mum that was batty - if your kids have your support they will do good - the batty lady will be batty regardless - you didn't cause it and you can't fix it (my new mantra) - but you do have to protect yourself and your kids

vic - thank for prayers - need them - have you tried l acetyl carnitine for the fibro - I was taking 500 mgm then went up to 2000 a day and it got me back on my feet and able to do that hike and enjoy it - also take a strong Co Q 10.

YR - ((((hugs)))) and prayers for strength

jam - u do so well - even looking after the pooch!

ladee - complimenting Marie was brilliant - hopes it keeps working and you stay cool - paying that BS (was that intentional????) gets moved

john - I'm with starri - if the bull act is done with evidence u may get some results - something needs to happen there - i understand u being very angry

starri - glad jerr's problem was not so bad and totally understand your exasperation with your bro - gratitude seems to have flown out the window here too -you will be getting an email from me - they don't allow links here it seems

I have probably forgotten someone - not intentional - thinking of all of you and wishing you some of the cool weather I am having here - between about 60 and 70

hopng to get some more good pics to post on face book for anyone - I am joan benoit - the lady with white hair and glasses, in alberta - top hit last time I looked and with antlers in the soup pot in some photos

love and hugs to all ♥♥♥ Joan

ladee -that's praying that the BS gets moved...

Emjo..will have to try the acetylcholine carnitine. Taking a good co q 10. Also taking a vitamin supplement made for fibro that seems to keeping the worst at bay. The biggest problem is not getting the proper sleep/rest. But that won't go away anytime soon as dad calls throughout the night to pee. Some nights worse than others. Oh well, right! doc tells me I can't keep up but with hubby's help when he is here it is manageable.
Wish I could post all my feelings for you'll. I know we are all in the same boat more or less..so the best I can do is keep you all in my prayers. Know that my days and nights arent as hard or just different than some of yours but we all are doing the best we can. Thanks to Jam for starting and all of us finding this place to vent! If nothing else, know that we all care and whatever tidbits we offer are cause we all care.

Aaaargh - didn't need this today - but mother has convinced someone alse to get on my back about not doing what she wants (getting her financial advisor to contact me didn't work) - this other man is a very nice man who has tried to be supportive to her - one of her "techniques" is to use people to manipulate - the FOG (fear guilt obligation ) that cmagnum talks about - to get her way. He tells me it is time for me to give up my resentments. to forgive and forget - after all she is 99 and entitled to her idiosyncrases -

well let me tell you - the way she is has nothing to do with her age -she has been like this all my life and it has nothing to do with resentment - but about self preservation - she knows that I am grieving Gordie right now - in the middle of the worse time of the year and most vulnerable to hurt - and that is when she will come in with all the ammunition she can gather - just to get her own way - and if she did get her own way, the satisfaction from that would not last 24 hrs and she would be on another high horse looking for more - Borderline Personality Disorder is a serious mental illness and that is the root of the problem -

boy - sometimes it lands on you doesn't it - so be it - don't know if i am even going to respond - not for now anyway - think I need a good cry right about now -need to let off some steam somehow - catch a bus or 3 and go home - throw something though the window - good thing sig other is away for a few hours or he would prob get it - i am at the end of my tether and the next one who yanks it gets it...

this has happened in the past and i have written ny side of the story and gotten apologies from the person she has used but i don't have the energy right now to do that - if that man chooses to think less of me so be it - it is the same kind of cr*p my sister sends at me yet will not lift a finger to help mother herself

vic thats L acetyl carnitine -sometimes it comes with lipoic acid and that is good

yer i know about rest and that is huge in helping

Emjo..have that supplement in the powder I take but not in such a high concentration. Will add that to the mix!
Take care you! Try not to let mom upset you so. Wait to respond...you are supposed to be on vaca! Try to stay out of touch and take care of you!

thx vic - dr. jacob teitlman's web site about CFS/fibro recommends the higher doses and lots of other things - he sounds credible to me as he has had it and recovered ((((hugs))))

Emjo.. The vitamin powder I take is his..it is called fatigued to fantastic. Has been really helpful best in a long time. I have had this crap for over 20 years! Tieltelbaum has been the one I have read most. Will check it out..tks! Prayers for you!!!

my daughter uses that too - can't because i am allergic to dairy

by this crap you mean the CFS/ fibro - i had it diagnosed about 1993 and realized I had had it before but that year was the worst -i was off work for 2 years - and at time the pain was pretty bad - thankfully not that bad now but still hits me with fatigue and some pain

seeme and starri - i may join you in the spa - justifiable homicide - haven't decided who to start with yet - heck the guy who killed my son got off with a warning...

The guys got off with a warning????!!!!! How do you reconcile that in your mind and heart. I'm so very sorry..

thanks sosad - your name fits me very well right now - the courts turned it around and blamed my son - the victim - though he didn't lift a finger against this guy even when he was being head butted and punched. - the guy was a known drug dealer and known by the police to pick fights and there were witnesses - and Gordie was not a fighter and his freinds would have testified to that but the prosecutor was pretty useless - the justice system is anything just - the first year the papers were very sympathetic to us - the next year when the court decision of self defense came out they turned against gordie in the papers - that was hard to take. - the judge told the guy that he was an inch from getting 5 years so they knew full well what he had done -but decided to let him off - he went to Gordie'sad in tears and asked for a hug and said he never meant for that to happen - give Gordie's dad credit - he hugged him and spoke to him that he had caused a lot of pain and he hoped he hasd learned his lesson -how do yo reconcile that - well I forgave the guiy quickly - you have to make a choice early on and my God says forgive so I did - not my strength - I have a harder time with the system being antagonist so someone has to be blamed - I don't mind that they let the guy off as I don't thnk jail would have helped him, but to blame Gordie was not right and what the papers did hurt me and a few people at work who believed the paper and not me -that hurt too - thanks for asking

Hey everyone doing somewhat okay today. Mom is in one of her moods, she was fine this morning smiling loving and giving me hugs. Still no word from VA should have letter tomorrow. I called today to find out still can't tell me oh well. Like I said everything was going okay till mom had to go to the bathroom. Then she wouldn't stand up (my brother got me a gatebelt for her so it helps) I gave her mac and sauce for dinner not a lot but some reason I think its the heat it went right through her... ugh... Trying to pull her underwear down (she wears disposable) was full... ugh again.. so it started to leak YUCK on the floor shes on the pot ... and I am trying to clean underneat so it doesn't smear EVERYWHERE but she keeps putting her feet back arguing with me she don't want them straight out... well she needs them straight out or shes gonna step in it and MAKE more of a mess on her sneakers she just got bought ..finally got it cleaned up ... remove socks and sneakers clean them up put new ones on ... having her set on the pot now .... eating some cheese to see if that will help tighten the stools ...(it usually does) just NOT my day today after having a severe migraine this morning coming from allergies ...

the Media can be so very hurtful. And I could only imagine the pain you felt when those "friends/co-workers" were unsympathetic. I can see how that could hurt. This last year when I went through hell and really felt that my life had been ripped apart, i was very alone and those who i thought were close to me,, well they weren't there for me at all. That was very painful. They were there as long as I didn't share my grief -- what gives with that?

so understand what you are saying - they say when you lose a child your address book changes and I found it to be true - and I think it is true for other losses as well - i have had a couple of friends who stuck with me but others who did not - it often seems to make family relationships worse - and you have to let them go but it does add to the hurt. Since then I have made new friends - mostly online and people who understand loss and a few people you sort of knew come out of the woodwork and surprise you with their compassion - I was so blessed by them as much as I was hurt by the ones who were so self centered and just plain ignorant I think people are afraid of being "tainted" by your grief and also that you do not fit their social circle any mre. When i was split from Gordie's dad I got one invitation out to supper while he was invited out all the time - poor guy without a woman to cook him a meal - I think single women are more of a threat to other couples than single men are - though i was not the one running around!

well this got me to smile - hope it helps one of you

BREAKING NEWS: The US government today announced that it's changing the flag to a CONDOM. Because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance; A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of s***, gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed and is made in China.

have a good day!

Wow, emjo, i never heard of that one, the address book changing. I have learned alot and it has strained my family relationships also. i have learned that we live in a society where talk is cheap, only a small percent of commitments are kept, and everyone is absorbed with their own issues. I am not the same person I was even 8 months ago. I have been truly blessed, however, with "new" friends also. I feel like if my mother does pass before me (which like I told her last night -- that I most likely will die before she does), I do not want my siblings near me. end of story.

hey ya'll,
Vic, finally someone understands about the feelings and experience about the Hurricanes... thank you so much for sharing about your family.... please tell them Hi for me and that they are in my prayers....
Dar, what I meant was there was comfort in numbers, as it is comforting to know we are not alone... I think most of us have been where you are... please keep coming back here and talking things out... we will help if we can...
Stormy, sweetie I have nothing to offer in what this may mean for your dad.... I am not qualified to have an opinion on this, but do want you to know you all are in my prayers, and please let us know as soon as you find out something...
emjo, you are always in my prayers, and will be praying for your stupid old man to get his head out his butt and communicate with you... I stopped doing husbands 15 years ago... just getting too old and set in my ways for the roller coaster ride called marriage... I think it's awesome for those that stay together thru thick and thin, nothing but respect for them.. myself, I am too jaded to give you support.. kick his ass out is what I would suggest... but see, that is not how it is done... that, again, is why I am very happily single... And you are genius, The BS!!!!!!! I think it is very appropriate,and tho it did not start out that way, that is what it has turned into.... So have worked on myself today and told the "workers" to not say another word to me about this, that, or the other... let me know what needs to be done without a big long stupid technical explanation,,, and bring me back a receipt.....other than that I am tired of hearing about it..... filling my head with crap I am not interested in, nor will I remember because I don't care... Just get the MF moved..... damn it........
JK, read your post and thought about how many times I was right there with Ruth, I could not get her to turn around in time, and I spent most of my time cleaning the bathroom, sticking her in the shower, washing clothes, and scrubbing her hands... boy do I understand....
sosad, glad to see you back and posting.... won't take long to make new friends and have a safe place to talk and even get to laugh once in a while.....
Worked extra today as today was Marie's transfusion,,,, and she came home not all weak, or sick.... I was amazed, kept telling her how great she looked and how proud of her I was.... it does seem to be helping her attitude a little... May not last long, because she really is very sick, but will continue to give her atta girls, and hope she is little happier... she really has no quality of life, some of it is her choice... so who knows, just doing what my heart is telling me to do with her... Sonny woke up from his nap and had no clue who I was, and it took me a while to calm him down.... just woke up in a brand new world... too hot for us to do "yard work" today, so it was a long boring day for both of us while Marie was gone.... but am happy she was not sick this time....
Ok, everything on my body hurts, going to take something and try to read for awhile... a little tv later and then bedtime...
Hope those of you who are having a bad and stressful day, that you get some rest tonight... I'll try to check back later... hugs across the miles to all of you...

ok,,, yes, my day is about over and will be going home. Thank you so much,,,,, and i was out of town for about a week, so stopped posting. A well needed break.

Hi girls! I am still working hard, I hope next days I can read at least some of the past posts so I can understand what's going on!
Kisses everyone

I started a post to try and respond but I don't know where to start, just know that you all are in my prayers.. People, some are fair weather friends and others just don't know how to respond to death and grief so rather than just extending their arms in a hug, they walk away.. I think it might hurt them as well as it hurts us.

emjo...........COW PATTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Had a whole story written earlier and POOF!!!! Gone again..........I really wish I knew why that happens so often.

Got back from Wal-Mart and the col was loaded for beyatch attitude........she was mad that the care giver let us know that she (col) has been feeding potato chips to her dog before we even left. Then after we got back I'm hot, tired and trying to get her groceries put away and her mouth is running, telling us how capable she is and she just humors us with allowing the girls to come here. She needs to have her car serviced so she can go buy groceries herself, she's perfectly able to drive. There's nothing wrong with feeding her dog her food, "he's so cute".........this kept up until Target looked at her and said "open your mouth one more time and you're going to the NH".........we both got another "f*** you" look.......I just left the building. I thought about using the pillow on myself, but decided I would get too much enjoyment from sticking around and reminding her everyday that she is stuck here.....:)

starri has been waiting on the laser story....................if you are on FB with me and look at the pics taken of the construction of the col's home, you will see a small window we had installed on the back of the house, up towards the peak of the roof. It was done to allow us to see in and check on her if need be. Should have gone with my initial skylight request as this window is only good for making her think crazy things happen. Now, y'all have to understand that medical people, especially ems and er docs, have a warped sense of humor. We have to in order to do our jobs day after day......anyway, the Spring after we moved the col in, Target had gotten a new firearm with a laser sight and of course you can't see it unless it's dark. So he comes in the house and has tears rolling down his face and is laughing so hard he can't talk. It seems he went out on the deck and shined the laser down through the little window. The dog just looked at it but pretty quick he sees the col and she is armed with a frozen dinner box and she is after the red bug. He ran the light all over the floor and she's chasing the bug, swatting at it.....then that bug runs up the wall and she's still on it....wop, wop, wop.....then back down on the floor.....wop, wop, wop.........she talked about that bug for days and wondered where it went. It was several months before we confessed what we had done.............so that's the laser story.

Must get this finished and sent before it's lost again. We have a severe thunderstorm that has just blown up over us and it's stationary, high winds, destructive hail, downpours. Grass and yards need it......hope the hail doesn't hurt the garden. And my damn car is still outside because a bunch of the col's crap is still stored in the garage...grrrrrrrr......

Love and Hugz to all,
Jam

Jam, absolutely love the laser story, maybe Target will let you borrow the sight and when she gets to driving you crazy, go show her the bug.. let her chase it for a while,