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Alrighty.... sorry some of you are getting more snow... talked to Seeme this morning and it was snowing.... Jam having bad weather too... icy.... but here... the sun is finally shining, going to be in the 50's for a change... and I am going to hit the back roads while I can....
I have awesome friends... in real life and on here.... so what is there to be down and out about.... I would rather find a solution than stay in the problem.... life is just too short..... so.... I'll be thinking of you all today.... thanks for being present for me for this last roller coaster ride.....made it much nicer to get to the other end..... love, hugs, angels, and CHOCOLATE !!!!
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Ok so i just moved mom in with us this month . She is 88 and hearing is minimal at best with good hearing aids she is stubborn And manipulate e but calmer and more feeble and easier to live with. I have to reprimand her at times for not doing what i ask like. Not going down the dangerous basement stairs or not staying in the store while i get car. I end up having to verbally disciplining her a d she just ignores me. Just sits there like she wont hear me. What do i do?
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Lindy you can't spank her like you would a five year old, but she is deliberately defying you, it is her way of maintaining a minimal independence. When my MIL does the stairs, I just tell her if she falls, I am not going to pick her up. (I am 62 and couldn't do it anyway). At the store, she doesn't remember to stay put. My SIL and BIL have had to search for her more than once. So they park in handicapped with her tag, and stay with her at all times. Plus if there is a delay at the checkout she will announce "I have to PEE!". She said she had to pee at the US Border crossing and well, we said too bad so sad you cannot get out of the car without six rifles pointing at you willing to shoot. Somehow she did not want to argue with THEM. On the other hand she will test your boundaries several times a day. Choose your battles or she will choose them for you.
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LadeeM ...... 0.o ...... we are SO the twins. For five years (until I truly became homeless and had to leave her behind), I had my 'dream home' .. a 32' 1971 RV .. dang thing was a TANK, but I lived in her in bliss. Can't believe how much I miss it. And, yah .. it was MINE, plus, I used to say that I had the best back yard anyone could ask for (anywhere I wanted to go). How do beat that, huh?

And since we're sharing weather ...... it's 80° today (while it was about 44° last night).
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Lock the basement door if there is one, Lindy. Or put something heavy in front of those stairs that she can't move. They won't hear you a lot of times, don't want to listen...my mom was like that, too. You just have to get creative to keep them safe.

LadeeC, you're not homeless now are you?

Glad, so far so good on the lights, thank God! I've had enough of freezing to last me a lifetime! This storm is supposed to continue until tomorrow. I think we'll be alright. Thanks for the kind thoughts! :)
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Alison, thanks for the compliment. I don't mind being called "Wacky" I am 75 and no longer need to worry about what people think about me. I just like having fun.
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Ladee M. I love the idea of your wacky home. I guess the only thing working is the toilet. I would need at least a way of boiling water for my tea. Only an English woman can make a cup of tea fellow Brits would drink. Did you know that the Industrial revolution got stated in the UK because of the importation of tea. It practically wiped out water borne diseases because people had to boil water to make it and fewer people died and the birth rate rose so there were many more people available to work in the factories.
I don't think her Majesty would let you park your trailer in front of the palace or as it is affectionately called "Buck House" Her Majesty would not be amused as they used to say about Queen Victoria. Anyway the Corgies would pee on your wheels and rot out the tyres. they do nip at your heels too.
So now we can look forward to the next chapter in your life when you become the next Grandma Moses. Can't wait to see you on the Today show.
Ending on a sad note we had to put the old cat to sleep this afternoon. It was time she only weighed 4 1/2lbs. She showed up as a stray about ten years ago not young then. She obviously had been someones pet and had been spayed. once she got to know us she was very affectionate to the people but not to the other cat who I am sure will not miss her one little bit.



Don't let SA fool you with ideas of fancy cruises. however much food there is on them they still have to sail on that wet stuff called the SEA remember the Titanic.
Glad you are at peace with your decision.
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SA ... not homeless .. yet ..
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LadeeM- my heart breaks for you. as has become my usual, I havent read in a few weeks, so I didnt know you were going thru this. I am so sorry. I wish you were in north GA - I would hire you in a heartbeat and move my mom home!!!! we would have a party every day!~ I am in the midst of a snow / ice storm here in GA and decided tonight was my night to drink beer...heavily! so pls forgive me if I fail to write these things correctly! Laddee- you were right to walk away.. you may not be angry but all of us who know you thru this site are angry for you! what a B#^%!!!! C is! and how sad for gene that he will not have you to care for him anymore! Like I said, I wish you were here for my mom!
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Red, my dad had a situation that caused him to choke and cough. he had a small pocket in his throat that captures food sometimes. also his epiglottis(i think I am right on this ) would not shut all the way, letting some food or drink down his windpipe. he was told by a speech therapist to drink a sip of water between each bite. also chew at least 10 times each bite.... (I am a few days behind so dont know if you have already gotten a solution)...
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Veronica Hey, the coffee pot works..... I do drink citrus green tea, but out of a bottle..... but could make hot water for tea if needed.....nope gotta have my coffee... guess ya'll don't drink coffee like we do.... and thanks for the history lesson... one cool thing about so many different people from all over being on AC, we get to learn about other cultures.....

And no, I don't see the Queen allowing the Grapes of Wrath Wagon any where near her sight... lol.....and the pups couldn't rot the tires.... this thing isn't going anywhere with the tires that are on it... it doesn't run... wish it did, I be so outa here!!!! I want to live in the country again... peaceful, quite, and just the coyotes howling at night...

LadeeC, the more we get to know each other, the stranger it gets.... are you sure we aren't related somehow.... like long lost sisters that our moms forgot to tell us about??? Yes, I love my ratty little house..... guess more than anything... because it's mine.... The Diva (my cat) and I are just fine where we are... I don't have to worry about someone trying to move in... no room.... even if I have company for the weekend they have to stay in a hotel... I do go over where they are a visit and get a shower!!!!!

But ya, the Ladee's got it goin' on !!!!!

Veronica, sorry about the furbaby.... I have had the Diva for almost 20 years... that girl and I have put some miles together side by side... I have lived in different states... but always end up back 'home'...I am going to be devastated when it comes time for her to go over the rainbow.... but I will be at the pound with in a week, rescuing some babies to bring home.... I am a cat person, thru and thru.....

One time down home, I lived in the country.... I had 18 cats.... my house burned and someone saw the smoke and kicked the door open and saved all my cats... when I put a Thank You in the newpaper, I put all their names..... !!!!!

Happy news.... I WILL be getting severance pay... talked to the dil today, and she made sure that I knew I would get my money..... they are all so disgusted with C and the bind that this has put everyone in....and they will not let her talk bad about me.... I bet she is fit to be tied.... oh well, like I said,,, Karma has her name.....

Have been getting some long overdue cleaning done today... starting to look like home again.... so, am enjoying my time off and getting some much needed rest..... it's all good...

Hope everyone found one thing to be grateful for today..... love and hugs to you all....
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LadeeMand Lav, I am still reading to catch up! but pls tell em about the marble in your pocket! I have never been to AA or anything...luckily, my "illnesses" dont include alcohol or drugs but this sounds like something that might be helpful - the resentment thing - with my sisters...pls expound or send me a separate private message about this!!!
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OMG!!!!! reading your comments today, I feel I have found a kindred spirit!!! Siblings can be so dense!!!! I am happy for those whose siblings work together, but have empathy for those who, like mine, try everything they can to work against! snowing again here! I am a southern girl...not used to this!!!!!
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ha ha, I was so ecited to read thie comments, I forgot to address it ... to Glad!
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and also sorry, the text of last message sounded so bad...lI HAVE been drinking beer...2 days of snowed in! but the problem is with sticky keys on the key board! I meant "I was EXCITED to read the comments (from Glad!)
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Book, Hi! I miss writing with you! yes, I think there is a whole food group that is chocolate cheesecake!
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LG - The marble came from an AA meeting I used to go to. In the beginning of the meeting the chairman would hold up an old bed pan with a bunch of marbles in it, He would say anyone that has a resentment to come up and take a marble The point was to be reminded of the resentment and to what you have to do to get rid of it. When you were done wit the resentment you put the marble back. It has worked for me a lot. However, with my brother I had to put that damn marble back in my pants over and over again. LOL Here is the resentment prayer: "God, Please help me to be free of anger and to see that the world and its people have dominated me. Show me that the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, has the power to actually kill me. Help me to master my resentments by understanding that the people who wrong me were perhaps spiritually sick. Please help me show those I resent the same Tolerance, Pity and Patience that I would cheerfully grant a sick friend.** Help me to see that this is a sick man. Father, please show me how I can be helpful to him and save me from being angry. Lord, help me to avoid retaliation or argument. I know I can’t be helpful to all people, but at least show me how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one. Thy will be done."

My cat Jazzy is doing better ya'll. She is eating dry and wet cat food. I will have to continue her meds tomorrow. Jazzy has become very good at moving her head side to side so I cannot give her meds. When I finally think that she has swallowed the pill (after at least 5 minutes) she spits it out. I am glad my mom is not here to hear my language. I swear the cat had a smirk on her face. It was like gotcha. I have been getting on with cleaning out the house. I just went through old bills that had been paid. Mom kept everything!!!!! The bills date back to 1997. JEEZ!!!!!! Take care ya'll.
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Red-how cool to find something your mom likes and can eat! proud of you for being persistent!
SA- where do you live? I am north of ATL and stand to get ANOTHER 4 inches tonight! havent seen this much snow since my son was 12 and he is 30 now!!!!
Lucky us, we havent lost power yet but I am getting snockered on beer cuz I am cabin crazy!!!!! I havent been to see my mom since Monday and it looks like it will be Sat before I get out of here! Might have killed my hubby by then and we get along just fine!!!!!!
LadeeM - you go girl! I think I would be like you if I didnt have a hubby to look after ....
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Lav- thank yo for the info and the prayer. I have copied it to a doc on my desktop so I can read it tomro.( tonight is JUST not the night!) I am so angry at my sisters, I am not sure this will be enough to get me over my resentment toward them, but I need to do it if only to make myself healthy!!!! I fear I will never be over their ignorance and selfishness till my mom is gone.... then I wont have to deal with them anymore! but I am going to give it some effort! thank you for sharing that.
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Just a little pissed off right now, though I'm really enjoying reading everyone's words. What a great place this is!

So one step forward, two steps back. May mom is back to driving me nuts again. And I shouldn't let her, shouldn't give her the power. It's that damn guilt but quite frankly I'm pissed off.

I told her yesterday over the phone that we we're thinking of having a party Saturday night with people we love but haven't spent time with in a looong while. Due to DUI laws and us living quite away out, I said they might have to spend the night. Sensible right? We have a couple of guest rooms.

Her response was, "What about me???" You'll be taking me out the next day, won't you? I assured her that we would be fine with that. I'm not exactly 20 anymore staying up until 3 a.m.

When I walked into mom's AL today, one of the women told me mom was having a fit that she wouldn't get taken out this weekend and she was in a bad mood.

So on Wednesday morning she is bat shit worked up about what may or may not happen on Sunday at 11:30 and complaining to people about me. To me, she said nothing about it. I know now she is really losing it.

My brother and I are not talking because I'm not like him. He sends me e-mails that the world is ending in his view. I sent him an e-mail back that he is just like his mother in their stubborn views that they cling to, though he and mom have different views on that subject. I am stuck in the middle between two very strong personalities. I miss my dad horribly. He was the buffer between me and these two crazies.

I just ignore my brother as he hasn't e-mailed me back in almost a month. Mom needs an outlet for her craziness. I'm just thankful I'm appraised of what she thinks. I have been there for her for 2-3 hours or more every other day for three years. And my brother thinks I can take a two week vacation no problemo. No fall out, nothing!

Vent over!
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Lav, thanks for the that info. So timely. I read it slowly and carefully. It was if it was written with my name on it. Either that, or guilt is at work here. Anyway, I had already copied/pasted it to my "Self-Improvement" notes when I was done reading it. I smiled when I read that LGVeal did the same.

LG! Welcome back! I miss you too! I figured you will pop up when you pop up. Chuckled as I can read your excitement.

Windy, I think almost everyone here have experienced that! How they're nice to you in your face, but complain about you behind your back. I am 99.9% positive that father still blacklist me to the gov't caregivers. Sigh... I'm a "communist" for being so firm with him. Just continue to do what you have planned for the weekend. You already set aside the day for your mom, so - it's better than not coming out at all. AND if your mom decides to cut her nose by throwing a fit and trying to blackmail with you emotions to do what she wants or else she's not going - so be it. She is the one spiting herself, not you.
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Lindy, your mom may start to “wander” and leave the house. Soon, you will need to change the locks or add locks that she won’t be able to get through. Perhaps put an extra lock on the door – on the way top that she can’t reach? Or a double lock? I agree about the Disability Placard (Handicap logo on it.) My dad was able to get one when mom became diagnosed with dementia. When he took her to the clinic, he needed to park on the Handicap parking.
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LadeeC, thank God. I hope it never comes to that.

LGV, I'm in NC. And yeah, I feel you. I can't remember the last time we had this much snow. It's almost unheard of around here. I was reading the news this morning and it's bad, really bad. Over 400,000 without power. O__O Thank God we were spared that. So far all is well where we are. And yeah, I get the cabin fever! If I had some weed, I'd smoke it. I've never been big on alcohol. *snickers*

Windy, I feel your frustration. All I can say is that YOU know what's up. If your mom gets worked up and has a hissy, well, she has a hissy. Let her. Enjoy your evening and let the pro's deal. Yeah, baby! And don't read your brother's emails before any fun event. Read them after you have an enjoyable evening with friends.

Oh, he hasn't e mailed in a month? Oh happy day! Yay! :D
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I think we all need a special hazmat suit to wear around guilt inducers.... neon lime green, with sequins... and a cape that says, "Can't touch dis"..... guilt will keep us on a merry go round longer than any other emotion know to mankind....
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You are right -you can not go back to that hornet's nest WTF are they thinking of course this shows that C lied about what they are accusing you of -if it were true they would not ask you back good for you not giving an answer right away-let them stew in their own juices and God help the next caregiver they get-I hope APS does get involved-this is not over for them-you are well out of that craziness -it has been unreal for what you had to go through-you do and did not deserve to be treated that way-get some rest girlfriend and regroup-I think you were a survivor of Katrina-you will come out of this better and stronger.
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Lavender, I like your anti-resentment prayer. I also like the similar reminder for anger (I even remember to use it occasionally!): "anger begets anger, but a soft answer turneth away wrath."

Have you tried the towel technique for tablets? It's firm but fair (I'm not pretending she'll like it, mind!) - you take a decent sized bath towel, spread it out, persuade puss to lie down with her head just over one long edge, then quickly mummify her, good and snug. Once you have a cat mummy with her head poking out you can then hold her comfortably and gently prize her lower jaw down. Don't forget to be wise to the "ptui" trick five minutes later - make sure you watch that pill all the way down (stroking her throat with your forefinger will help). You will be getting the eye basilisk while all this is going on but you can't possibly be hurting her so you can persevere with a clear conscience. A tasty treat once the pill has down both helps to make sure of it and creates a good association with the towel ready for next time (assuming she doesn't leave the country in a huff!).
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Not to worry Austin... I am done with that whole mess... will meet my fav dil Sat to get my check... and I AM getting severance pay.... I think now that I have talked to the dil that I like, that listens... they finally understand that if this accusation gets out into our little community, I am finished as a caregiver.... so yes, IT WAS A SERIOUS accusation, one that could damage my ability to get work.... they aren't laughing now.... I will stay in contact with the dil I like, she takes awesome care of Gene when she is there on the weekends. and she'll keep me updated on how he is doing....

It's just called Life Austin..... no one deserves to be treated badly, just as you were by hubby for so many years.... but like you, this one situation does not define me...life goes on..... don't have time for resentment or anger... like I said... Karma knows her name.... thanks for the love and support, you know I'm going to be ok... and it was Rita that turned my life upside down.... Lav was in Katrina..... and here we are, putting one foot in front of the other.... love ya!!
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LadeeM - Durn right you will come out stronger. Yes, that was a very serious accusation. Are you going to take time off for a couple of days? You Do need to re- group. You sound like you are doing soo much better. I am sooooo glad that you did not go back. I know the DIL understands. At least you can feel a little better with her being there. Remember to take care of YOU!!!!
Book - I am glad that you can use the prayer. It has worked for me. I said the prayer a lot when I was in treatment I had a b--ch of a roommate. I prayed for her and a couple of days later I was moved to another room. So it does work. Nice to see you here. Take care of YOU!!!!
CM- Thank you for the advise. I tried it but I guess I did not do it right and she slithered right out of it. Take care of YOU!!!!

Good Lord I found another bag and a box full of old mail and paid bills. There was even some Publishers Clearing house envelopes from 1997. My bro better give me more than 50% of the money when we sell this house, I am doing all the f---king work. Sorry guys LOL Hey, did you here about our ex-mayor being found guilty of 20 out 0f 21 charges including wire fraud, bribery false tax returns and money laundering. He was the mayor during Katrina and I voted for him. We are soo proud!!!! I gave Jazzy her meds this morning and she has since thrown up all over the house. I am not going to give her any more of the stuff. I am telling the doctor tomorrow. She is so thin from being sick all day. I feel so bad for her. I am praying a lot right now. Take care guys
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Hey Lav my husband was right with you when he heard the news of your ex myor being found guilty. Finally a politician who has got his come uppance
Now he is ranting about the Governer of North Carolina. I keep trying to remind him I am not responsible for the behaviour of all these people. Mostly I just nod and if it gets too bad tell him to take a pill.
Poor Jazzy I hope she feels better soon. Do they know what is wrong with her? Do you think she is dehydrated. They can give her some fluids if so and that would make her feel more comfortable. They just inject it into the abdominal cavity and it gets absorbed. I say this in a whisper because I know how you are about medical proceedures (Some people do it themselves at home) or was that Book and the catheter? I know you will do what is right for Jazzy they are so precious.
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Oh happy day! Our heater went out tonight. So much for the slogan 'It's hard to stop a trane'.... One winter storm stopped it in it's tracks. Time to call the repair guy tomorrow. *sigh* Ah well, at least the lights are on!


Oooooh! It's 11:30 p.m.! At midnight a new Valentine egg is being released on my online game, Dragon Cave! Yay! Time to go! Night, ya'll!
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