This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Happy VAlentine's Day everyone...I thought I hid my m om's gift well enough but obviously not i came into my room tonight to find her miniature rose in middle of my bed with soaked sheets...guess she tried to water her rose. Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch unless i get the bed cleaned up soon. Of course its the dogs fault LOL
If she keeps having problems, get the vet to give you a liquid.... you can open her mouth the same way and put the meds down the inside jaw of her mouth... they are forced to swallow as opposed to it going straight down... I know you are worried about sweet Jazzy..... hope the furbaby cooperates so you can help her get well..... love ya
Not. In. A. Million. Years. Lovely clean dish with lovely clean pill sitting in the middle of it, that's what you get.
I've also seen Greenies at Petco where you can insert the pill into a pocket. It is a product that they make especially for dogs, I know, just haven't looked to see if there is a cat equivalent. I'm sure there must be. I have also heard that putting them in wet food as Austin said will work for some as well.
Anyway, for a few dollars, it seems to work, help soothe the frayed nerves on days that are more difficult. I'm glad a caregiver on here talked about it many months ago, and I've made it part of my self care routine. I highly suggest. :)
Hope you guys are doing good out there.
I will say again... I do not know how all of you that live where it snows, can handle it...we have a few freezing days and we are all mumbling and complaining.... the worst winter by far for so many of you.
Red, we have been in a serious drought for over three years... it is finally starting to not be as bad.... It is the first time I have ever seen the stock ponds full..... so I know what you mean.... its horrible... and frightening... and we had a devastating wild fire that destroyed a whole town.... so hope for all of us, we can have some kind of normal spring and summer....
Sending you all hugs today, whatever we are dealing with.... need to run errands and come get some things done in this house... want things nice and clean before my job hunt starts.... find one thing to be grateful for today...
Nightmare one: I was living in this house but instead of just taking care of my mom, I had Sonja(a long time family friend that died a few years before my mom)here, too, and I was taking care of them both. I woke up thanking God it was just a dream.
Nightmare two: Sean and I had taken my mom to this huge mall. My mom could still walk some and had to go to the bathroom. She proceeded to make an incredible mess that involved crap the size of what a T Rex would produce and it was everywhere and I had nothing, not a single wipe to clean her with. I was glad to wake up from that one.
Nightmare number three, last night's: My mom was still living and all these strangers were in the house. She was giving away all our stuff, cars, furniture, you name it and there was nothing I could do but watch this happen and seethe. I woke up in a bad mood.
That's just the last 3 nights. In another one about a week ago my mom and I were outside in the middle of nowhere. She couldn't walk or stand and needed to be changed. I was trying to wrestle with her to help her but wasn't getting anywhere. In that dream I was wondering how I was going to manage to get her home. I was trying to pick her up and carry her, but she was dead weight and it wasn't working and I was beginning to panic...
If I sleep just a few hours at a time I'm doing good. Everything is on my damn nerves at this point.
Sean is still smoking Spice. In fact, since we got the down payment for the land and he got his share of it, he's spending, and I know this for a fact, between $20 and $40 a DAY on that shit. You add it up. When he gets the rest of the money from the land sale there is no doubt in my mind that unless he pulls his head out of his ass he'll be completely broke within a year or two at the most. I told him that I wanted this house, and the other one we have, in my name, too. He's not arguing about it. I'll be getting more money than he is from the land sale and that's a good thing. Damned if I'm going to lose these houses because of his stupid drug habit. And that's yet another worry on my already overloaded mind. We won't even discuss his loser buddies... They'll all be sniffing around looking for money.. I have a strange feeling all hell is going to break loose soon because my temper is headed south a little bit more every single day. He doesn't know it but I'm at the slow simmer stage. This shit keeps up it's going to get real ugly. But before it does, bet my name will be on these properties.
What happens if you don't shovel? I mean like the whole sidewalk or the driveway... I understand about the driveway... but if you can't go any where, what would happen if you don't? Do cities have ordnances about that kind of thing....?? Just curious.... I see all these people shoveling in the snow.... hope you don't think it's a stupid question... but I am wondering...
Met with the fav dil and son yesterday for coffee.... C shorted me on my check... no big surprise there.... and I will get my money.... still waiting on the severance , guess the kids will pay that... doesn't matter to me where it comes from..... there is also a principle involved here..... just so grateful I don't have to see C's face...
The kids say she is really milking it... being all depressed because no one believes her.... gag!!! Poor Gene... and the dogs....they need to be in a NH, but guess the family will procrastinate and talk talk talk until one of them gets hurt or something worse..... all I can do is pray for her when all of it starts going on thru my head... she doesn't get to live in my head rent free....
Things to do today and then the great job hunt starts.... on to the next adventure..... love to all.
I asked myself every winter why I stay here in MA, but that's where I'm from and of course so is the job!!!
Every winter I say I'm not going to complain about the heat in the summer, but I still do! LOL But at least I don't have to shovel that!
The birds are going crazy here today... sounds so good to hear them... the way we tell when our winter is over, is when the pecan trees start to put on leaves.. we don't pay any attention to our weather men here unless it's stormy... we do get tornadoes in the spring.... but we don't have cellars here so all it does is scare us half to death.... no where to run and hide.....
and no, we don't have shovel heat.... thank god.... hope you keep your booty warm!!!