This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Gotta get some sleep. Kathy has been here for an hour already.......zzzzzzzzzz
we should start an ugly sister's club - mine could be president! - vic suggested Belle or Mandy
stormy and seeme u r so fortunate to have a good relationship with yours - and anyone else here who does
well Nana (me) did it again - silly putty was the hit of the birthday seconded by the science kits I gave him
what a good kid - he told me a few weeks ago he didn't want clothes for his birthday but he got quite a few from others and with only a slight prompting from dad he said thank you very nicely
Heidi - you are doing a gargantuan work like so many here - jewels in your crowns in Heaven for sure
have a good evening all ♥♥♥
I accidentally closed my poor cat in the linen closet last evening and hubby found him hrs later after much bellering. He woke me up about 3 or 4 times caterwauling, but I didn't recognize him he sounded different. And I thought maybe it was coming from the tv.( Hubby was up late.) So I would just go back to sleep. Poor baby, I felt bad about that but you know what they say about curiosity and the cat.
Well, no major hassles here today . Just the usual bazillion questions. Which are going on now non stop. I can barely concentrate on this post. If it doesn't make sense, I'm sorry.
Well, welcome to Heidi. We all understand what your saying.
I hope everyone had a nice day. Good grief!!!! I can't believe this weekend is over already. I owe, I owe, so it's off to work I go in the morning. Night all. P & P
the horse pics are posted!!! and you get to see Gary as well LOL
ASG: very well said!
VIC: Oh my, how hard it is to lift them, especially in the morning!
EMJO: I was moved by the mare's story. If the girl who owned her before gave her a name (she certainly did) why don't you just keep that name?
STORMY: I would feel uncomfortable if my brother of my cousin wrote on the same site. I would not say everything I like to say! I would censor myself!
HEIDI: yes we live among dirty, gross, unpleasant things. I am lucky I have been living with animals for 20 years, so there is nothing that really grosses me anymore! I have cleaned the enclosure where my ex landlord kept the geese, and there were 2 feet of sh*t there! My landlord didn't clean that enclosure and the poor geese were drowning in their stuff. "That" was a hard afternoon!!!! I can stand "that" part of the job, while I have more and more problems in accepting the person, the alien my mother has become. She is not my mother anymore, that's for sure, and it is very painful. I think I really lost my mother when she started to lose it, many years ago. It's very difficult - honestly - to go on loving a person that you don't recognize anymore!
LADEE my friend I have nothing particular to tell you tonight, just kisses from me and my big family!
Jam, we're keepin' the light on for ya.... hugs across the miles to everyone, well, almost everyone, but everyone on this thread....
and ask him to reconsider his decision?
Hopefully others here who know the system better than me will have some suggestions.
Take care of you the best you can,
•Expressing gratitude
•Living life with meaning
•Finding and using your inner character strengths
•Putting mindfulness to use toward well being
•Savoring pleasure
•Achieving flow experience
•Developing self compassion
I see you all living life with meaning doing the caregiving that you do, I see gratitude here, I see finding and using your inner character strengths, I know there is not time for savoring much pleasure, but I do see people savoring a cup of coffee or a few moments without the endless questions, or a good night's sleep, Maybe a little more mindfulness towards your own wellbeing would give you pick-me-up (vic take that extra carnitine ;)) or eating better or cutting down on the ciggies. Developing self compassion is so, so important. Give yourselves the same compassion you have for your charges. As for flow experiences - not sure yet what that means - like being in the zone I think - a little while absorbed in the garden, ros swimming in the sea, a few days away - cuddling with the pets and so forth - small all-absorbing pleasurable experiences
Ladee. sorry you are sick rest and recreate - drink lots - dream of sailing down the road in your BS.
Starri so glad u r taking time away
everyone - take good care of you - as good as you can. I know it isn't easy.
You all are heroes and heroines and deserve medals.
♥♥♥ Joan
Rossella, is your roaming Romeo still resting from his wanderlust vacation??? Kisses back to you and the fur family, and of course mama if she will let you...
emjo, thanks for the words of wisdom, to contemplate when we have a minute or two...and many names coming in for that beauty of a horse,, put mine of FB for ya..
Stormy, I am so sorry you and sis are about to loose your minds with the not knowing, that drives us all insane, and we are going to imagine the worst... bless his heart, is he in pain? Does he let ya'll know if he needs something
? Angels sent to you and family to help with all this... let us know if you hear from the
Dr.
Vic thanks for the well wishes, did popa have a good night, or when you finally get to bed to you find yourself repeating answers in your sleep???hugs to you
ASG, you crack me up girl.... guess with all you have going on, humor is your life saver.... hugs to you and the kiddo's
Jam, we're keepin the light on for ya' hugs
Ladee drink drink drink.. relax stay cool .. and rest .. till your feeling better... imagine yourself in your air conditioned BS... drinking ice cool magaritas and beng fanned by cabana boys lol.
Vic: how's Poppa today did he have a good night ... hope so .. so you got some rest...
ASG: you are hilarious ... you made me snort tea out of my nose girl lol...
anyway ... since its nice and cool in the house I am getting ready for rail fest this weekend coming up. Here's to hopin i sell a lot of things .... and finding a way to get it all there !
Shawna, what type of crafting do you do? And what is the rail fest. We have on where I live that is called a "de-rail-abration". They celebrate the town taking up the tracks overnight just before the Yankees got here, so they couldn't use the railroad. Just wondering............
Please, if you are looking at this and the emotion is too great, there is a light at the end.
Stormy, guess you could have taken you dad to the vet and he would have done a better job than that stupid doctor... Hell, we could practice medicine with what all we know and probably do a better job, except for the cutting part, nope, couldn't do that...
Seeme, you need to go to Shawna's web sight and see the awesome stuff she does..... and Shawna, people will buy it all if you can figure out how to get it there!!!!!
Gonna go lay down, don't have too much fun or shared info without me.... love and hugs to everyone...
I did get some rest but I feel lousy..at least it isn't stomach junk!
Take care all.