Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Evening all, miss you Jam, Ladee, hope you are feeling better,there is so much going on here, I don't know that I could keep up, so welcome to the new ones, and please join us here venting, complaining, bit**ing, joking and just carrying on.. I think it was stormy stressing over test results, do yourself and your dad a favor, don't worry about that bridge till you come to it, I had so many doctors telling me so much misinformation, that finally I quit listening to them till we had all the tests and all the answers in one place. Then I was able to make decisions and strategies based on that. You do not have to let any doctor that you are not comfortable with, provide service to you or your dad, I had one that I had had a run in with before, he was put on alert as well as the nurses that I would be keeping a close eye on him and if anything looked out of line, his ass would be mine, in caring for my mom.. This heat is about to kill me, so I think that I am going to lay down for a while.. Big hugs
(0)
Report

Great to hear from you Starri, we miss seeing you here every morning.... yep the heat is killing us all... every time I go out to smoke I want to go start my car, turn on the ac, burn gas so I can smoke in the cool... we are so solution oriented aren't we...
My dad had a quack for a Dr. and both my "ugly sisters" complained that he would never stop and answer any of their questions when dad was in the hospital... I was up there one day, and as he started to zoom out of the room after I had asked him something, he saw that I was standing in the doorway, he would have had to put his hands on me to move me, so he stayed long enough to answer the questions, my sisters didn't know whether to be proud or appalled, but we got the answers, and I finally convinced him and them to change Dr's... Lord, the extent we have to go to sometimes to get some help and some answers...
So many people are intimidated by Dr's, they don't realize they are feet made of clay just like us.... they, sometimes, have more knowledge, and I say sometimes....
One time when the old man was in the hospital and we were having problems getting them to tend to him, I went up there one evening and as I walked past the nurses station, I sort of thumped my hand on the desk and said "get his paper work ready, I'm moving him to another hospital"....... there was some scurrying and phone calling and before you know it the DON was there and we had a plan in place.. hmmm. The "ugly sisters" got mad about that one, but I told them I was tired of hearing them bitch and complain when there were other hospitals in town, good Lord, find a solution, and it worked so why are ya'll mad ONE MORE TIME... and ya'll wonder why I call them the "ugly sisters".....sometimes ya just gotta do what ya gotta do.... and f**k em if they don't like it...and that includes the sibs... if you can't find a solution, don't get mad if I do....after the old man died haven't had to deal with them at all, so that is why ya'll are my sisters.... at least we all understand each other.... and SUPPORT each other, what a concept.... Lord please bless caregivers with crazy families....
(1)
Report

ASG: the delicate cycle is not enough! I was thinking of that cycle that you use to wash the rags that you use to clean the floor. It is not disrespectful; the comparison is just between the two levels of dirt!
Ladee. how's your virus? I had one of these and it lasted 2 months; in fact it was not a virus, it was a bacterium and I cured it with antibiotics. Lorenzino is still home, too tired to go out. He sleeps all day long and he tries to sneak in the part of the house where my mother lives, because it's more quiet there!
Sandra, Stormy: I am very sorry for the problems you are having with your father/mother. I live in another country and when we have a problem we go straight to the hospital. It is completely free for people of my mother's age, so they keep her there until she is better and she can go back home. So I don't know what kind of advice I can give you!
Emjo: yes I choose to be selfish a few hours every day. I have to do something for myself. This period of the year everyone goes on vacation, they travel, they go to the beach, they go to the mountains. If I didn't go to the swimming pool at least, I would feel very very unhappy!
Shawna: I have to cook 3 different things every night: the meal for the dogs, the meal for me (I am on a diet) and the meal for my mother. Arghhh! I am lucky that the cats prefer the canned food!
Hi Starry where are you?
Hi Jam, give us news from time to time! Generally speaking, I mean!
bye and 'night
(0)
Report

ladee - I am with you re doctors and being assertive - i was sick after i had Gordie - high fever, racing heart (due to the fever) etc etc -they did tests on me and every time i said - you won't find anything wrong - I have the flu bug one of the kids had, just give me aspirin and antibiotics and let me sleep - I burned and shook and sweated and shivered like I had malaria for several days, they put me on cortisone and my face blew up - they gave me such strong iv antibiotics that it burned the veins in my arm and finally one doctor came in and said to me - we may have to cut you open to find out what's going on in there and I said right back to him Yesh and I can pull this iv out and walk out of here. We contacted my obgyn and he banned that guy from my room and a couple of days later i told the nurses that I had had my last fever and i was ready to leave, Then they said if you get diarrhea from the antibiotics come back - we have good meds for that - Yeah Right!!! No thank you I will deal with it myself - but it never happened

However on about the third day I had a near death exxperience - not documented by the doctors - but I .saw things I couldn't have known. More on that another time.
(1)
Report

Emjo, are you a novelist? For crying out loud. you've just got to keep us hanging on.........how agravating..........get us all built up and then wehave to wait for the sequel !!
(0)
Report

yeah, Seeme, she is like a soap opera, gotta wait till the next day to see what happened... not that her life is like a soap opera, oh lord, I feel myself digging a hole here, YOU get what I mean, huh emjo???? Please say yes...and I am very interested in what the experience was like....
(0)
Report

LOL - kept my students coming back,,, and tomorrow we will fiind out... rotflmao

gives you something to think about doesn't it :-D

one of the things an instructor wants to bring out in students is curiosity - it helps learning and makes life more interesting in general

just to be fair I will tell you about the LPSG - one of my online adventures - one guy on line belonged to a website called LPSG so I innocently checked it out - WELL!!! - it means "Large Penis Support Group" and there were pictures all over the place and guys wondering is theirs was the best`etc. I wasn't on there but a minute and one member (pun intended) messaged me and wanted to chat - he cheated on his wife when he travelled and wanted to know if I was interested - but said he loved his wife and she didnt know about it. Boy I let him have it! Told him if he thought that cheating around the countryside was not affecting his marriage is was deluding himself. Also told him if he wanted excitement he should go bungee jumping and if the cord didn't break his marriage would stay in tact. Met a nice young italian boy there too - we basically just chatted - but not on that site - I never went back! Oh my - I got some surprises!
(0)
Report

ladee I get what u mean and my life has often been like a soap opera but i play a small part -

the online stuff was an adventure - the odd soap opera in it too lol
(0)
Report

Hello ladies, I hope ya'll are having a good nite so far. Welcome newcomers!!!
Seemie- Thanks for the advice today.
Ladee- Hope you are feeling better. And don't even get me started on dads drs. and that goes for the nurses too (some of them). I think some of them got their nursing degree out of a cracker jack box... I'd be here all night talking about drs.and nurses. Maybe another day.
Shawna- good luck with selling all of your merchandise!!
Emjo- Girl you can't leave a sister hanging like that. Tell us more.....
Starri- hope you are doing ok. I will try not to worry so much until we learn more.
Rossella- I loved your cat pictures they look like some cool cats!!!
Jam- Girl we miss you and hope you are doing alright. We are waiting for your return!!!!! No word from any drs. yet on dad. I don't know if sis got up with the oncologist probably not. But she might not have had a chance to call him today. So we will see what happens. Well, ya'll take care and have a restful and peaceful nite. Love and Hugs to you all!!!! Stormy
(2)
Report

Hello all! MIL in exceptionally good mood tonight and FIL more with it than usual! All in all a nice dinner for a change! I hope you all have had a good night too! xo
(0)
Report

Well, it has been a tiring day. Mom did have a uti and the doc called in a prescription this morning. Hubby went and got it right away, so I managed to get 2 pills in her today. But she was so whinytoday that I just couldn't keep babying her and I found myself just crabby.....no....CRABBY. I almost got all the ironing done before my back couldn't take it any more. Then I stood for an hour making an apple pie. Everything has to be from scratch......crust and all, and the apples were so small, I had to peel a dozen just to fill one 8" pie plate. The pie was made after dinner, and I had a stack of dishes to do., so I am pooped.

Jam, missing you..........

And just in case ya'll didn't figure it out, emjo is a tease! lol I'm sure she could teach me a thing or two!!!

Headed to bed....everyone have a peaceful night while I am taking mom to the bathroon every 20 min.....pray the anti's work fast..................zzzzzzzzzzzz
(0)
Report

seeme - you wouldn't believe how naive I was for years and years and years - would take me 5 years to realize some one made a pass at me - lol
but I blossomed later - after 70 lol - flirted more in my seventies than all the rest of my life - until i met Gary - really it was only about a year but I could write a book about it - like i said the youngest one was who went after me was 23!!! not that he got anywhere - and definitely have some tips for anyone who wants to date on line!!! These are the stories I can't tell my grandchildren!!

heidi - glad you are jhaving a good evening

stormy - breath deep, hope dad's results are OK

shawna sending good vibes ur way for sales

YR - hope you get a little peace

vic and asg - how ya doing

ros ur cats are great!!!!

54 thinking of u and wondering if you are going to get to the beach with hubby

cara - hope u r getting something better worked out

starri - always good hearing from u -hope u r getting a break

everyone else - take care - have compassion on yourselves too

love and hugs ♥♥♥
Joan
(1)
Report

Good morning Ya'll, tummy feeling better so will work today....thanks to all for your concern yesterday, made me feel good that I was thought about...
emjo, talking about being naive.. I think I was born cynical and jaded, had the advantage of trusting no one for any reason, so I could see things from an emotional distance which has saved me a lot of heartache... but I am sure it added to missed opportunity's too. Oh well, I am older and wiser....
Hope everyone has a descent day... will check in when I get in from work.....
Would be nice to hear from Jam, the light is on, hope you are ok...
hugs across the miles
(1)
Report

Good morning all.hope everyone had an ok night. Haven't been feeling too well..makes for and even crabbier person! Haha today is election day so we will go vote. Dad is still aware enough to want to go..sooo we will see what happens.
Looking for options to get some short term care here so that hubby and I can get a few days away.. We will see what that brings. Haven't talked to brother since he basically said he can't come. At least he is calling and talking to parents.
Here's praying for a decent day..asking God to help me with my attitude. So tired emotionally and spiritually.
(1)
Report

Can't talk but a minute. Going to hopefully get tests results today at 1:30. And get dads leg looked at. IT looks awful. From the swollen lymph node in his groin. All red looks like a bad sunburn on his lower leg. I will report back later.Love ya'll!!!! Hugs!!! wish us luck me and sis going with dad.Scared!!!
(1)
Report

Good Morning Posse!!!

It's a great morning! Sun is shining although it's going to be around 106 deg today. Hot! Wanted everyone to know that we upgraded our internet and then something happened to the main server, so had no computer contact all day yesterday. Was in withdrawal! Now trying to catch up on everything and will check back in later! Hope everyone has a terrific day and prayers to all for peace in your hearts!

Love and Hugz,
Jam
(1)
Report

Praying for you all -
ladee - for a good day
vic - for a break
stormy - for you to get the test results and treatment for dad's leg and courage for whatever comes
jam - for all good things
and the same for everyone else - praying for a good day for all
love and hugs ♥♥♥
Joan
(0)
Report

Yeah, Jam, good to hear from you......

Stormy, Prayers go with you today....hugs, too.......keep us informed........love ya

My 6 hrs off and I have errands to do, so will check in later............
(0)
Report

Stormy, Now 4 pm and we are waiting to hear from you..................

Got all my errands done. The chiro was finally able to loosen the left side which feels wonderful....now I hope it holds up.

Emjo..........Mindy? For some reason Mork and Mindy came to mind. Moonbeam?

Mom's calling already..................
(0)
Report

Hey gang I've got to bathe the baby and then I will be back in about 30 minutes.
(0)
Report

OK, Stormy, I am here waiting.............
(0)
Report

OK I'm back well to tell ya'll the truth me and sis don't know much more now than what we did before we went to the dr. today. This dr. we saw is dads reg. dr. and he is a JOKE! All me and sis want to know is as this mess spread or not. And it seems like we are going to be on the same roller coaster ride that we have been on since dad has been sick. In other words none of these drs. want to be the ones to deliver the bad news is what me and sis think. The hospital had to fax the report to dads reg. dr. the one we saw today. Well we had him to look at dads leg the one that has been swollen for about a week now. And he said that dad did have something going on that was vascular down there. Dads lower leg looks terrible. The part right below where the calf muscle ends. And it goes on to his foot. This area looks like a very bad sunburn almost to the point of having some purple shades to it. We are scared that they are going to have to start cutting things off. It looks really bad. Then sis says well that lymph node in his groin area can it be shrunk any with radiation. And dr says no that would make it worse. Then sis says well the ct scan says that it's showing some enlarged lymph nodes in the chest area. Dr. says Yes. Then he starts back talking about daddy wearing some compression ace bandages to help with his leg. But that was all they could do for his leg. Right now until we get the pet scan done thurs. then he wants a copy sent to 3 other drs that dad has seen before. But one thing that he said to us has me and sis baffled. He said that the lymph node in daddys groin was mechanical not vascular. What in the hell does that mean???? I mean I guess me and sis should have held him down and said give us a straight answer. But my Lord he knows what we were there for(ANSWERS). And we feel like we came home with none. And we hated to sit there in front of daddy and say,"Well has it spread?" I hope ya'll can understand that. We just couldn't do that with him sitting there. So I don't know who we are going to see next the pet is thurs. maybe we will hear something monday. We are so frustrated. But I guess part of that is our fault. I guess we should have just asked him straight out. Well I got to go lay down with little red I will try to come back a little later tonight and write to ya'll. Love and Hugs!!!!
(1)
Report

Stormy, I am so sorry you are still not getting any answers,, how frustrating and fearful, and I completely understand why you didn't say anything in front of your dad.... Jam will be able to answer your question about the mechanical vs. vascular... Bless your heart, just know we all love you and are here for you, just follow your heart, and keep us updated... love and hugs to you.
(0)
Report

I know whaat you mean about asking things in front of your dad. My fave sister was with dad when we thought he just had a kidney stone and all of a sudden an oncologist walks in the room. And this sister was the one who had breast cancer, so she knew what that meant. The first and only lymph node dad had swell was in his neck/shoulder area and they just removed it - no biggie. But my dad had non Hodgkins lymphoma, and you still don't know what your dad has wrong. Wish I could be more helpful, but I'm afraid all I can do is be here for you. (((hugs))) Try to get some good rest tonight......love ya
(0)
Report

I am fasting for an early dr appt to draw blood, and I have stayed up past my bedtime waiting for Stormy's post, so I am headed to bed. Hubby starts day shift tomorrow morning after he gets home at midnight, so I won't see him till tomorrow afternoon. Got Kathy to sit with mom. While I was gone today, she dusted, vaccuumed, and washed all the linoleum floors. I KNEW I should have stayed out longer. lol Tomorrow will be another 100 degree day. Everyone have a good and peaceful night...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(0)
Report

Hey everyone I am sorry you didn't get the answers you wanted Stormy i hate doctors when they do that. Some doctors aren't worth sheat... today mom had a very good day she wanted to go swimming but I had to tell her no *UGH* I hate mother nature I really do. I am going to be getting her swimsuit and water shoes and life jacket tomorrow while getting other stuff done. We went out for breaki just her and I. It was a long walk but hey I need the excercise though my sis had a fit and yelled at me cause I was walking when my right foot is as swollen as it is. Saw sis's new ride very nice dark blue trail blazer ... which her husbands coming down early Saturday morning to help us set up at the fest. Still working on images if you guys get any ideas let me know I'd welcome them. The more ideas I get the better my inspiration hits... anyway .. hope you hear more Stormy.
(0)
Report

Stormy, it seems crazy to me you don't have answers for your dad! Do you have a friend doctor who can go talk to the other doctors? Sure they speak more clearly between each other. Good news, bad news, whatever, they have to tell you. My impression is that they don't know what to tell you because they don't understand very well what's going on. Maybe they are afraid to make a decision which could worsen the situation, so they keep tossing the ball to each other. Kiss on the nose of the red one!
(0)
Report

Rossella, are you getting to swim at all while you are working so hard.... I hope so, it seems to bring you so much peace and relaxation... The job you are doing is so hard, and the part about not knowing who she is anymore must be the hardest on you...It must be hard to separate loving your mom and having to take care of a stranger who is never happy, messy, and all the rest that goes with it...I just get the sense of you reaching another level of seeing her decline... and accepting that is hard, seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel... I pray for you and mama everyday..... just for you to have the strength to do what you have to do, to find some time for yourself,, and to not go to sleep on your computer when you are working.... I have a lot of respect for you my overseas friend..... and every time I think aobut running away from home I think about coming to your kitty palace and giving you a break... of course there would be drinking coffee and talking to go with that.. maybe talking about our lives, and not caregiving, wouldn't that be awesome..... love ya and appreciate how hard you work....hugs across the many miles to you... Oh and I don't eat meat either... haven't for years....
(1)
Report

(((((hugs))))) stormy - praying for answers and clarity and for strength for you and sis.. This is really hard to take.

shawna - look after that foot - get back into the pool as fast as you can with mum

seeme -you will be eating off the floors soon

ros i agree with what ladee is saying - it must be so hard - even for me realizing my mum is not who i thought she was is hard and what you are going through is harder ((((((hugs)))))

ladee - hope ur days r going well

jam -how r u? -think of u lots

vic, Yr, asg, 54, john, starri and everyone else have a good night - tomorrow is a new day!

love and (((((hugs))))) ♥♥♥ Joan
(0)
Report

Thank You all for your posts of concern about me, sis and Dad. Another thing I meant to mention to ya'll is when we got out of the doctors office and after we got dad in the truck. I asked sis,"What in the hell does mechanical mean in medical terms?" And she said what I think he is saying is that there is a tumor down in dad's groin where that lymph node is.
Seemie- They found daddy with gall bladder stones. Don't know if that has anything to do with anything.
I chatted with my neice today on the computer. And I was asking her how was her daddy doing (my brother) and she said still drinking. I have not talked to him since sunday. And even then he did not ask how dad was doing. He does not even know we went to the dr today. My sis is about ready to get him. Just for him not coming down here to see daddy especially with all of this stuff that might be going on. I think she said it's been 2 weeks since he has been down to see dad. And I bet anything there is going to be some sh$#! going on this weekend while my sis is gone to that wedding!!!! I'm just ready for this weekend to get here and get gone. I know my sis is not saying that. But I'm going to have to be the one dealing with brother when and if he shows up to stay with dad at nite. And I'll be the only one that can do stuff for daddy(suction, canula). Plus just worried about that leg. Well I guess I better go for now. I will talk to ya'll tomorrow. Love and Hugs Stormy
(1)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter