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WOO HOO !!! LadeeM.....
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hmmm, typed something here but when I had to login to send it, it seems to have disappeared... well *(&($^& darn!
LadeeM- you are not jinxed, but you have had some pretty bad runs, haven't you? (with clients' families, I mean!) I didnt read back to see what the problem is right now but I know you will work something out. Just make sure you take care of you! I have been pretty lucky with the people who work with my mom but then I am a pretty understanding person anyway.... Too bad you cant come to where i live and help me with my mom!
Book , so sorry you not only have to battle your father but your sister too! Does she just not get it???? or is she too intimidated by your dad? want us to come over there and knock some sense in to her??? wish we could! we would probably form a very long line to take turns!!!
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Good news my mom blood test came back great! Yay! Pami
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Pami, great to hear !!!! one less thing to worry about...

Onedoor, ya, you know if I had one bad family, well that is to be expected every now and then... but for me to fall off into one after the other... I just have to question what part I play in it all... my attitude? My tone of voice? something.... or as I choose to see it... it is God telling me.... give it up... let it go... just be the princess you were meant to be. LOL
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Ladee, I'm so glad your test resort came out okay!! Hanging there !!
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LadeeM, you have had more than your share...but I wonder how many families are in denial or just feel superior...there r so many people out there who think everything is owed to them...those attitudes are the ones that ruin so much. Oh my, i could get on my most recent soapbox of ungratefulness!!! From what I have learned of you, you r the good one, the one who will give, give, give. Thepeople who take, take, take will use and abuse you. Somewhere out there, is the family who loves and cherishes...hopefully they will find you soon and lift your spirits!!
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Ladee M congratulations on being normal - well as far as the blood tests are concerned anyway. At least thats a good start. maybe sculpting dentures is in your future after all.

Book can you hide dads's pills in the fridge or freezer. put it is a food box of something sis would never touch.
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Veronica... whew !!! At least one thing is normal about me, !!!! LOL... thanks everyone for your support and kind words.... Onedoor, my plans are to get out of caregiving for good here soon..... I am being flexible but at the same time will not be 'guilted' into continuing to ruin my health.... the stress part.... it amazes me that all my numbers came back good.... but that doesn't change the fact that my nerves are shot.... and I am getting so resentful and starting to think very unprofessional..... so far it hasn't come out of my mouth... on the family members, not my charges....

And I truly appreciate all the support... and ya'll helping me to keep believing in myself..... it's not that so much, as I am simply tired, Apparently I am not making myself clear, about what working for C did to me... what I allowed to transpire.....and my heart has not been the same.... the straw that broke the camel's back????? I own that I stayed too long at that job... but on the other side of that coin.... I do not regret one second with Gene and Stu..... so, since life in general is a balancing act..... that's what I did.... it was selfishness I guess... not wanting to loose any time with either one of them..... and in a matter of months Gene died.... I have such strong feelings about what happened and tho 'hate' is not what I feel.... I don't 'hate' anyone.... but from pure neglect and C's family absolutely aware she could not care for Gene... I will always believe the man died from neglect..... but I had to leave that job.... and I am tired of 'leaving'..... tired of the stupid hassles with family members just to get to do my damned job !!!!! I know I am not conveying how much I need a break from all this.... too many of you know exactly what I am talking about....many of the feelings are the same, paid or not.....but just can't seem to regroup after C..... and the bottom line, I don't have to... it is what it is.... I'll grow wherever I am planted .... and I know a vacation would not help.... ahhh, I'm tired of thinking about it.... going to go make some clay dentures now... lol... love ya'll, and my gratitude for all of you never changes.... and that is a good thing for me..... love, hugs, angels and chocolate....
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Ladee M Gene's family's approach was sickening. Not actually evil. Feckless, callous, deluded and all dumped on you. It was horrible, and I wasn't even there to witness it. No wonder it's weighing on you. But listen, you were the bright spot in his care, you did everything that was humanly possible and more on top. Be sad for him, but no regrets now.
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How am I today? I can honestly say that I deeply resent my deadbeat sister who would rather see OUR old father in a nursing home than pitch in. Oh yes, she takes him to his blood draws once a month and arrives with bells and whistles. Weekends? I haven't been to a movie in two years or else I have to pay a a sitter a fortune to come in. Yesterday he had (yet again) another skin lesion removal procedure. Here we go, days of twice a day dressing changes, etc.
Our pastor came to visit and yay, it was a chance for the dissertation on WW11 for an hour before I left the room. You tell me folks, how is it that a 90 year spent 4 years in the military and that was the highlight of his life. How about the other 86 years if his life. This WW11 crap was shoved down my throat since I was 3. I am sick of hearing about some by-gone era, I am sick of not having my own life and I absolutely despise my dumb sister who, by the way is a therapist who can't get a job. Funny thing about therapists. Many if them go into that field to address their own problems and find that they are at home in a therapist's office even though they are on the other side if the desk. Pack of nuts.
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CM, not to worry.... I have not one regret staying for Stu and Gene...not one....cherished memories of both.... and in the end , that's all any of us have.

Anne..... the gentleman that I take care of does the same thing about his time in the service.... he never saw action, of any sort, but to hear him tell it , he was on the front lines.... I have learned to 'uh huh, oh really' at all the right times and couldn't tell you a thing he said....sorry you sister is a dolt and won't help.... but that is the main song sung on this site...... pay that 'fortune' and get out when you can.... it's only money, and sanity is scarce.
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Some days are good and I have a great time with mom. But most of the time she is really moody - like this past week. She has been sick with bronchitis and it is almost like she is dying - she has isolated herself from everyone and I fear she is depressed but other siblings posh posh the idea. How am I doing? not good. I have no one to talk to who can or will try to relate. My friends put their parents in nursing homes so they don't feel the pain of dealing with their parents. My siblings only see the days that they are here -which most of the times are good days. My concern is my mom isolating herself from everyone - even her children. They call to say they are coming over and she tells them not to - that she is not feeling well. This has been going on for almost 2 months now. I am the only one here.
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Nice vent, Anne C. - it's good to see some uninhibited steam coming out!

Wanda - I LOVE spellcheck. The image of somebody "posh-poshing the idea" is delightful :) - almost onomatopoeic! But what's less delightful is people who ARE NOT THERE dismissing the much better-informed sense of there being something wrong from the person who is there. If you are worried that your mother is becoming ill with depression, don't wait for permission or consensus - tell her doctor what you've observed.

Bronchitis does take it out of a body, it's true. Are things picking up with the longer hours of daylight and warmer weather? I know it sounds like a cliché but it's still true - a bright sunny day can do a lot to lift the spirits.

Don't be alone - we're only virtually in your home, but we are real. Big hug.
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Oh Anne...I wish I could give you the big hug you need right now! {{{HUGS}}}

I am counting my blessings today. I took the 2 zebra finch babies from my male/female pair's last clutch of eggs to the pet store today, and earned $10 from that. Not much, but it's $10 I didn't have before. Then I had to turn around and spend that $10 on yard waste bags, but hey - easy come, easy go, right?

Mom is smelling particularly unpleasant today, but - surprise, surprise - she just went into the bathroom and I hear water running in the shower! Glory hallelujah, and angels singing! LOL I only had to ask once this time. :-)

It's the little things...never thought I'd see the day when getting my elderly mother to take a shower so the house doesn't smell bad would be something that made me so happy ....
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OH, Anne, you have a therapist sister too? Lucky you! Why is it that they are so equipped to be able to counsel other people, but cannot provide hands on assistance with their own family? They would rather diagnose all of us. My sympathies to you surely. I know exactly what you are talking about. They also seem to be the most narcissistic ones.
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annecurrey...I'm surprised your dad talks about WWII...My step dad stormed Normandy, my father-n-law was at Pearl Harbor the day it was attacked, and my husbands uncle was at Omaha Beach...their memories were so painful and they all seemed to feel like no one would understand who was not there and none of them would talk about it...my uncles were all over the Pacific...same thing...very rarely they would mention something in passing but most of the time you would never have known they were there...My husband was in Viet Nam for a year and our son served 2 tours in Afghanistan...same thing...never talk about it or if they do it's some kind of funny incident to make a point...I guess what I'm trying to say is your dad's fixation on it is really unusual...where was he stationed or what theater did he fight in??? Did he ever seek any kind of help after he came back???? Hope your situation gets better...would someone from your church sit with your dad a while to give you a break...when MIL was alive there were people who were willing to volunteer to sit with her but she would have had a fit...didn't want anything to do with our "church people" or anyone else for that matter...was to proud to be seen in public in a wheel chair...only place she was willing to go for a year and a half was to the doctors office and back...my husband and I had to take turns leaving the house...hope your sister steps up to the plate...my husband was raised an only child so there were no siblings to resent...best of luck
Ladee M so glad your test results came back ok, and that it was not what you were fearing...
everyone take care of yourselves...I'm trying to get ready for a garage sale so we can get back to a normal routine and take some time to just spoil each other, and enjoy life inside the house again...LOL
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Things seem to be better for my mom. She has had less falls. Having attitude problems when its time for daycare center. But I guess at least we are both sleeping now. She used to have the attitude fits/tantrums at night but now she is sleeping. Brother is having to "help" more and i know he is hating it. He still needs to know how to talk with her but at least im getting help i guess. Brother and I are taking mom out for the day to meet sister for a nice family lunch...hope all goes well. Happy Mothers to everyone
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Reddog I agree about the way they usually keep silent - all I heard from my son about Afghanistan was "oh nothing happened, boredom was the biggest challenge."

I. Don't. Think. So. But if he wasn't telling who was I to ask?

There were commemorations of the D Day landings a few years back on the BBC, and an excitable children's t.v. programme took a few elderly veterans back to the beaches for their unique perspective on the battle. Some misguided producer had set up a machine gun emplacement for the old men to relive their youth. One of the veterans did take a turn at firing. The young presenter was enthusiastic until the solemn-faced veteran explained that he was remembering what he'd seen, and the penny dropped. Old soldiers know that war is not entertaining.

But the comradeship away from theatre, that's another thing altogether. My FIL, who was only in the forces for the war and left straight after; and my BIL, who was in the Navy but didn't see official action; both hugely valued the lifelong friendships they made. I suppose there's never anything quite like it again.
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And YAAAAAY we rounded off the evening watching the Eurovision Song Contest, an annual event unique of its kind. I consider it a sort of patriotic duty to watch and cheer, and a moral duty to vote for the song I genuinely like best regardless of its country of origin. This year the contest's winner was Chicita Wurst, an Austrian lady with a full beard, singing a disturbing song about someone having hurt her very badly but, like the Phoenix, she planned to rise again despite that person whom she saw as her metaphorical fire. One wonders if she had anyone in particular in mind, or if it was a generalised grievance. She seemed to be a popular winner, receiving the maximum score from many countries including quite a few you wouldn't expect to be accepting of a transsexual with an unusual reluctance to sacrifice facial hair.

Actually, there is no way of explaining Eurovision to anyone who hasn't seen it. Watch footage by all means, if you're interested, but you have to bear in mind that ONLY Eurocrats steeped in federal ideology actually believe that this is a genuine cultural event. Every normal person knows it's a robo-festival dreamed up and funded by civil servants and has zero to do with music.On the other hand, it's often hysterically funny, and sometimes punctuated by one or two seriously good acts that have been chosen almost accidentally by their respective countries.

The UK came 17th. Alas. I would say why this was terribly unfair to our lovely singer, except I am having trouble remembering which one she was. But they were all pretty good this year so I'm not being rude to her.

Mother sat through this thing and then said she wanted to go back to the news channel. The news was that Chicita Wurst had won the Eurovision Song Contest...
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I haven't posted for a long time. I have been to busy with my Momma and my . We have been doing all the testing for his problems. Going to the neurologist and waiting. We are doing a sleep apnea test Thursday. He now takes donepezil 10 mg per day. He is very angry. Denial! Nothing is wrong with him. He never sits still. Always moving his feet or hands. I now take buspirone 5 mg twice a day. It takes the edge off of my stress. Momma is weaker and starting to be forgetful at 93. Things could be worse! One day at a time! Love to all! College
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I am talking about my husband, sorry for the typo
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Thanks everyone. Monday Itook mom to her bank because my sister wanted more
Money and also too see if. I coud be. Moms poa,but she didnt understand it completely. So now we go to a lawyer ndnhave him talk to her. Anyway the bank told me and my mother no more giving out money. They are looking out forher interest. My sister isnt. Looking aat thelarger picture. At least I am. At least I dont have to worryt about her health. Going in may to my doctor for blood test, since I have high blood pressure and hypertension and iam onmeds for it also seizure medicine , but my neurolgist is taking me off it. It seems like we all have health problems one way or the other. My doctor who is her doctpor said she bwill probably live. To be a hundred. Help! Pami
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Hey Pami68. That's funny...I bet I look pretty miserable every time Mom's doctor tells her not to worry about her health.
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LadeeM - I am so glad that everything turned out okay with the blood test. Yes, be the princess you deserve it. God, I wish things would get better for you. If I had a tiara I would give it to you. Take care of YOU!!! With hugs and chocolate of course.
Book - I agree with Veronica, hide the pills from your sister. Maybe hide them with the cleaning supplies she would never find them there. Also, make her take care of your Dad's hives for a while.Take care of YOU!!!!
Anne - I know it is hard to have a sibling like your sister who does not do anything and you do everything. Sorry about the lesions it must be hard on you. It is possible for you to remind your father about other times in his life. I would do that with my mom and it seemed a light came on somewhere and she remembered. Take care of YOU!!!!
Wandakay- Sorry to hear that your mom is not doing well. My mom would tell people not to come over either. However, when people did just drop by she was happy because people remembered her. I think that maybe she would like your siblings to just drop by. Maybe that is something you should try. I hope she feels better. There is no other place on earth that I have found that understood what I was going through other than this site. Please come in and sit awhile. This place is great therapy. Take care of YOU!!!
Susan - it sure is the little things that helps us through the day. Take care of YOU!!!
Hi all - I just spent a good part of the day with my brother. We are getting along right now. I do not think I am passed all the resentment though but it is better. I have not heard about the painting yet. I have been busy working on getting a job. I wish that the house would sell. I am rally getting anxious about it. Will we ever sell it. I am tired of spinning my wheels. I get hopeful when someone comes and then nothing happens. We had one couple that came twice but had not had an offer. I try to remember to pray to St. Joseph every day for financial help. I am hoping this month will be it. The insurance comes due in July and we need to be out of here be then. Well. you all take care of YOU!!!
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I seem to miss a lot of posts when I read from the kindle. It never fails. When I come to my laptop, I see several people's comments that wasn't there when I turned on the kindle to read here. I had to backtrack when Lav agreed on what Veronica said about hiding the pills in the freezer. Huh? So, I had to scroll back several pages to find V's comments. Veronica - I wasn't ignoring your comment!
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CM, Conchita has a wonderful voice and thanks for sharing that! What do they say is the reason for the beard?
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Hey everyone! Just lurking, reading your posts. I hope today is a good, peaceful day for everyone, your charges included! :) Hang in there, people. It's about all you can do. And remember to get the hell out of dodge and get a break whenever you can, come hell or high water and don't put it off.

Later you guys!
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Glad, I don't think it would be considered good manners to ask about the beard. Conchita is definitely she, is all I know. Of course it crosses one's mind to wonder if she is planning to complete gender reassignment, or if her self-expression is confined to clothing only, or what; but the UK commentary was done by Graham Norton, a lovely chap and an intelligent interviewer but very firm when it comes to us all minding our own business about how people deal with their particular gender identities. Which of course I am perfectly happy to do; only don't ask me not to be curious, I can't help it. Or is it more correct to pretend you haven't noticed - Beard? What beard? I only saw the fabulous eyelashes..!
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Happy Mother's Day Ladies!
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CM, I don't know of many men that wouldn't love to be done with the shaving every day. Just don't understand it, Course it is not for me to wonder; I'm sure most do. Maybe this world wouldn't be so crazy if were not so afraid of being impolite and asked those hard questions.
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