This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
I remember when we were kids Mother's Day we would go to church, stop at the nursery to buy plants for the gardens. Not a chance on a day like this!
Also, remember, Glad to listen to the weather channel. There was a tornado near Denver. A tornado! Stay safe and make sure you have all your emergency supplies handy - in case the power goes out.
tips: anyone use website: doozycards for greeting cards? I love it!
Never heard of doozycards
I appreciate every one of you... for all you do and all you miss out on..... sending lots of chocolate to all of you today....and lots and lots of hugs..
Happy mothers day everyone. Is it mothers day in Canada or do you keep mothering Sunday during Lent as in the UK. not in any way commercialized there well not in the late 70s when we left. it is probably different now. We used to pick bunches of wild flowers usually primroses and blue bells and take them home to Mum. Oh the good old days ( when there were no vacines and we got TB from the cows milk)
H2H, my dad has his favorites also... so I understand how you feel too...another one that nothing made him happy... thank God I got some help to understand all that, and was able to let go long before he died....so praying somewhere you find a life line to hang onto..... no one is worth giving up our life for.... prayers sent your way.......hang in there and let us know of your progress, because you will make progress because you have asked for help.... we are here for you and Lav and everyone else..... be glad when this day is over personally....
hugs, love, angels and chocolate to all of you...
Lavender, i will feel the same way when my mom goes. Hugs to you.
My mom lives in thornton and i took her to church yesterday even though it was snowing and to church.
Question is it normal for them to argue to get their own way. She argued with me
Today about what she wanted to do andit was all about her. I finally toldher I hadd to go.
The family of an elderly called 911 for a wellness check. Their father was not answering the phone. The fire dept sent 4 men to check it out. They saw thru the window his legs on the ground. They break into the house. He was slightly bluish and the house smelled terrible. 1 + 1 = 2. One man even checked his wrist and couldn't feel a pulse. So, they called dispatch and requested the coroner. Just as he was done. The old man suddenly sat up. All 4 men screamed and flew backwards. One knocked down the table and vase. The captain flew backwards to the wall and got knocked out. The man was angry that they were in his house. He's mad that he wakes up to hear screaming. Like little girls. It was hilarious.
The other one was a couple who were stuck inside deep. The female's body clamped down hard on him, and then got stuck - clamped. She suggested that he hit her with the frying pan. If she is unconscious, her body would relax and release him. Whack! on the head. She's unconscious and he's still stuck. So he calls 911. She came to, saw the EMTs and started hitting him for calling 911. The EMT said that when the female body clamps like that, there's nothing that the participants can do. Just call 911 and let the doctors undo it.