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Book I've seen people wear dressy black slacks to some pretty formal occasions...
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Just venting. Just feeling so inadequate this am.No longer able to let mother be as independent with her meds and had to remove all meds ,even OTC drugs from her room.Needless to say she isn't happy with me. She is currently postop day 24 after a bunionectomy and hasn't been able to go shopping. That is her big complaint.She has no idea how well off she is. She actually gets to go shopping today after the doctor said she could. But now because I no longer leave her pain meds or any others in her room her AM back pain has suddenly become worse, this AM she acted like she was going to need an ambulance because I won't leave the pain med in her room .Both my husband and I immediately get it for her when she calls for it at 0500, he gets the coffee and I get the pill.However, she has still found the strength to get makeup on,get herself dressed and made a list for Costco even though she literally said " I am only making it minute to minute." Sure looked good for someone that was dying.Also got an email from an old friend that may possibly had terminal breast cancer. I just have compassion burnout.There isn't enough of me to go around. I have a 56 yr, old friend that could still have many years and a 78yr,old that wants to live to 1,000, and probably will because she is killing me with all the guilt. It can just be overwhelming.This week alone I will be taking my mother to various MDs 3 days, at 80 miles a round trip.This is mostly for followup on her foot surgery which went well and just a dermatology check up. But this morning she is just acting like poor her but still going shopping. She has osteoarthritis and I know she is in pain but she is on quite a lot of morphine a day and also has steroid injections about every 3 months. I feel bad for her but I have seen so many other people so much worse off.Just burnout with her this morning.
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I found a great website this morning when searching for states that permit family caregivers being paid. This link will take you to a document that provides contacts within states that permit the payment for family caregivers.

http://www.pascenter.org/documents/paid_family_caregiver_programs.pdf
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Gladimhere - I hope you are successful in getting paid through the medicaid attendant program. Some states call it 'cash and counseling'. If you work with a case worker for your family member they maybe able to help you apply.
My turn to vent. I have tried for 2 years now to get paid through this program but I'm not eligible bc I am also my mother's representative. You can't be an attendant and a representative in SC. I do not know of anyone willing to 'volunteer' to be her representative so I can be paid to be her attendant. Her case manager can give me a list of people to call and ask if they want to be my mother's attendant but why would I want to take the time to do that? Only to have someone else be paid to do what I still have to do the rest of the time the attendant is not there, no thank you. Talk about resentment. When you don't have any income at all even alittle bit would help. I have no health insurance and not eligible for help either. Can't even afford to have any needed tests done. So not to be eligible to be paid to be the attendant bc of a technicality really burns. Sorry I have vented but I spent the past couple months writing letters to the state rep's and senate on this issue.
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Shilo-
I know exactly what you mean. Was your dad in the service? Have you checked their Aid and Attendance program?
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He was in the service years ago. He passed away in 79' when he was 45. I wasn't aware they had a program like that but I will research and see if we would qualify. Thanks for the suggestion.
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you are welcome, Shilo, I'm happy I had a suggestion that may offer you another avenue.
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Not sure what was going on with L right before I left this morning... TIA? Just the nature of LBD? A bad dream? But she can be one hateful little lady when she is like she was this morning.... my epiphany...... not my problem.... let the day lady handle it..... I am a little conflicted with my feelings or lack of.... I am not in denial about my own burn out..15 years of being 'abused' by those with Alz, well, I just feel that my skin is so thick now.... the compassion and empathy is buried too deep.... I always have flashbacks of another client acting like L this morning.... got a broken leg out of that one.... so ya, I walked out and let the day lady have her 'turn' and never looked back..... I can't MAKE myself feel something I don't feel... I still use care and concern, patience, that is so thin I question what it is going to take to break that thin little membrane.... I only know after I left, all I could think about was getting home and going to bed.... I never ever saw myself here with these feelings, or lack of.... disheartening in some ways....that I have allowed this job to change me in such fundamental ways....

I read about this all the time on here, have for years, and now I am there myself.... Guess I will have to get in touch with the daughter for using the 'magic pill' tonight..... I absolutely DREAD going to work..... that is my vent for today.....
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will be without the internet for awhile... I am changing servers... and of course it's going to be a clusterf**k..... nothing simple in a caregivers life.... so will stay in contact until then.... and then see ya'll later until I get the new one installed... love ya'll.
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LadeeM I hope the internet switch goes quick, I'll be lonely without you😅.. Hope your night goes better than the last..
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LadeeM Hopefully there will not be any problems with getting your new service provider started. If it takes longer than you can handle though, think about stopping by a library to connect with your friends here. It sounds like you will be missed if you are gone long.
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Don't be gone too long TOB. Get some rest and remember your own words.... " my epiphany...... not my problem...". Love and chocolate!
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Thanks ya'll... and Boni... remember... don't use abbreviations... it's against 'business protocol"...... lol... wtf?... pftt and any thing else I can think of... I rarely answer really stupid posts, but I did that one..... (on another thread !)....... I bet we could post with nothing but abbreviations and most of us would get it !!!!

Ya Shilo, that's what I will do , go to the library if it takes too long... but so far, I am up and running today WOOT WOOT
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ROFL ( rolling on floor laughing)
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Finally have everything ready for the garage sale this Fri and Sat...will probably donate everything but the collectables if they don't sell. just to get it out of here...Mil passed 5 weeks ago today...we almost have everything back to normal...have to take her dog to the vet today so we can get needles for his insulin injections...I think he is determined to live forever...at least he has stopped peeing in here if we get him outside on schedule...little beast is 15 years old, diabetic and blind as a bat, and can find his way around the house and yard as well as I can.
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good Lord my mom is naaasty.
I have gotten over my second bout with some enteric bug of some sort. Lost work days each time.
Caught the old cow coming out of bathroom and I know she didn't wash her d*mn hands.
Looked her right in eye when she was out at the table waiting for breakfast and asked 'how often do you wash your hands???'. Not one bloody answer. Usually she gets all huffy and does her little narcissism dance but there was absolutely nothing.
Now, how the h*ll do I protect myself against her?

two cents ¢¢
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Get some hand sanitizer, put your gloves on.... and wash her hands FOR HER!!! If she gets mad, at least you wont be contaminated.... some old folks can be nasty for sure.... good luck
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twocents, LoL!! I don't call elderly for old cow...but it was funny, lol again!! My client is same way. She doesn't want wash and use a little tiny bit of toilet paper .... I put a little sign ( picture frame) said "please wash your hands".....
She said water is too cold, I said have a wipe....she said makes my hands feel wet???? ladeeM, I 'm always reading your post and tell you what this AC site is causing me very addictive..LOL take care!!
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STP, it has been so good to see you posting here recently.... and it is addicting in the sense that we make friends and want to know how everyone is..... so , happy you are joining us.... some really awesome women on this thread and all over AC !!! hugs

Ok,yall have to get on the 'hiway to hell', see ya'll in the morning..... love and chocolate..

Red, hope your sale is a success and bless you for keeping the dog that has driven you insane.....hugs
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MIL little dog is a major money pit...We were in and out of the vets in 15 minutes...checked his blood sugar, weighed him and felt for lumps...$88.00 and wants to see him again in 1-2 months...trust me will be at least 2 and maybe stretch it past that. They wanted to clean his teeth...respectfully declined that...a 15 year old dog is going to have some tartar...I'll give him a bone. Husband and I both have blood work in the morning...we have insurance so that won't cost us anything...kind of disturbing to pay 10 times more for the dogs care than we pay for our own...just saying...
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Red .. my motto for pets: they don't get what I don't.

Book .. hope your dinner went well!!

LadeeM .. *hugs and chocolate* .. just cuz, and glad you didn't have too long of a break from the web. w00t!
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Formal dinner is on June 6th. I will drop by sis' house on Sat and check out the dresses. Can't stay too long here. Been having bad headaches for past few days. Yester was the worst. Nausea hit me at work by 3pm, lights were killing me, fallg asleep while driving home. Nausea whole night. Slept early using my ortho neck pillow (bone shape) which helped Tremendously on my neck pain. Feeling better today but have so much to catch up - paying bills and Searching on Google on how to remove that stinky oily smell on my new short dress. I washed it and it came out stinky. Really really stinky. The light on the laptop is hurting my eyes so... I guess I'm still suffering with whatever it was from yesterday. Later...
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Don't want to sound snippy, but have these grubby elderly ladies got perching stools by their hand basins? My mother used to dabble her fingers under a dribble of cold water and call that washing because it hurt her back to stand for long enough for the water to run hot and the basin to fill. It's taken some months of standing over her with my hands on my hips (or just doing it for her) but we're getting there, and having the perching stool there does help. I can't bear dirty or sticky hands, it makes my flesh creep, so I'm uninhibited about giving her a hard time over it.

I've given up on the moist toilet tissue, though - she just won't use it, plus it's none too ecologically sound :\ If I have qualms I change her Tena pad and get her to bathe asap.

Book this is migraine is it? Or a trapped nerve? I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling poorly.

I know that smell - don't want to be a doom monger but I've never succeeded in getting rid of it, and you get it in some surprisingly upmarket labels - I think it must be a glitch in the yarn processing early on, because it's like rancid lanolin, isn't it? Hope you've had more luck. Would Febreze be worth a go as a quick cheat's measure?
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I haven't posted here in some time as I ceased being a 24/7 caregiver eighteen months ago when my narc mother went into a NH. After that, as many of you have experienced, there was moving myself and the pets (mid winter with a broken toe), clearing, renovating and selling mother's house at distance and daily screaming tantrum phone calls that eventually made me ill, I changed my phone number and went low contact. Over the winter I hibernated and began to heal from a lifetime of narc.

Deterioration due to age, parkinsons and dementia, along with, another stroke and some TIAs, have pretty much knocked the stuffing out of her and now she can't sit up or stand, is barely able to speak and is no longer obnoxious. As she doesn't like the way the NH hairdresser does it, she wanted to go to a hairdresser in the next village and today's the day. I've made the appointment, paid the hairdresser and booked the paratransit bus to take her. I'll escort, following along in my truck. Between the hairdresser and the bus it's $50 but it's all she has to look forward to and we can do it every so often as long as she's able to go.

In the meantime this is year two of renovation on my "Little House on the Prairie" and it's chaos but it's an investment. Eventually I'll be able to live simply, comfortably and more self sufficiently well within my means. On almost two acres, 158 evergreens were recently planted around the perimeter to grow into a wind break It's been too cold up to now to start the veggie garden. Perennials and more berry bushes going in today.

I've been collecting old windows to be made into a greenhouse come fall and an old shed out back will be fixed up for future chickens. I've turned into a geriatric hillbilly lol
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Pinched nerve? Maybe!!! CM, the pain always starts on my neck. Then it goes to my head. If I turn my head, the pain is so bad. When I turn it suddenly to the right, there's this very loud and painful "click" on my right neck. Once I turned my head suddenly, the loud painful 'click' and my niece turned to me and asked, "What was that?! That's from your neck?" I just did not connect pinched nerves with the headaches. I thought my neck pain is from the arthritis growing on my neck bones. I had an xray done last year because of my neckache. The doc showed the xray. On the top neck and the bottom neck (head and shoulder area), she pointed to my bones 'thickening'. She pointed the normal bones and then the abnormal top and abnormal bottom bones. I could see it so clearly on the xray. So, all this time, when i turned my head, and it clicked and pop, I thought it was just my thick bones resisting the turn. If the pain continues for several days, I will go see the doc.

CM, no, don't say that about my new $15.00 dress!! I don't want to go shopping anymore. Do you know how difficult it is to find a pretty dress for a 4'11.5" person who weighs only 100 lbs.? Without alterations. I've had several of my clothes altered - and they did a lousy job on it.

My old Lesportsac purse (years of use) was so old looking and faded. So, I bought a new one - on sale for $68.00. 50% off. No returns. No refunds. Do not wash material. They took it from the back room, brought it the cash register still wrapped in its original plastic, and then I paid for it. I came home, opened it up, took it out of the plastic. It had that same smell that is on my new dress! I Febrezed that purse vigorously. It has knocked out like 90% of the smell. BUT it's still there. Hmm... I'm going to Febreze my dress right now. It's 9pm. Then, before I go to bed, I will get a tub of water, put some Dawn dish soap in it (not much) and soak it overnight. Then tomorrow morning, before I change father's pampers at 630am, I will throw it in the washer. Put my cell phone timer for 10 minutes (or 15?) so that I can run out and put 1/2 C of vinegar in the rinse cycle. Let's hope all these measures doesn't literally ruin the material my new dress.

By the way, that bone ortho pillow did wonders with my neck overnight. I slept thru the whole night. Got it at Amazon for about $12.00 + shipping. Time to go. Father keeps looking at me - he wants his pampers changed now.
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Red bless you for taking care of the little dog and I sure know how much it costs to care for them well. My two, both rescues, eat better than I do. If need be I can always eat beans but there's no way I'm sleeping with a dog that eats beans. The little one sleeps in my bed and her f*rts are bad enough as it is! :)
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Book I don't care what the shop says about no returns no refunds - they gave you that purse unopened so you couldn't examine it, and it has now revealed a defect (i.e. it pongs) that renders it not of merchantable quality. I.e. it is not fit for purpose, i.e. under all consumer law you are entitled to a full refund. Caveat emptor doesn't apply when you can't examine the goods before you pay. And $68.00 is an awful lot for a purse you can't use because it will make everything you put in it whiffy as well. Oo that particular smell - I've got the memory of it in my nose now! It's odd - it's not like it's the worst (goodness knows we've smelt worse things than that!), it's just really annoying?

What's the dress made of? Well, kill or cure I suppose…

Amitriptyline. I was trying to remember the name of the drug my other half was given to treat pain and headaches he was getting from a 'bony spur' on one of his neck vertebrae, and that's it. It's a tricyclic antidepressant, but at a MUCH lower dose - like, 1/10th of the psychiatric therapy - it's said to be effective in treating chronic pain. It takes a while to do anything much, as far as I remember (this was a few years back), but it must have been worthwhile or he wouldn't have persisted with it (he's not keen on pills). It can't hurt to ask, anyway?

Whoops mother's off on her travels again. Heigh ho and away...
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I think it is this thread that kindle issues are discussed. Went to buy a kindle tw weeks ago, ended up with a Lenovo tablet for twenty dollars more. Finally replacing my HP touchpad which has driven me absolutely nutty for a couple of years now. I just cannot believe the increased functionality and ease of use to say nothing of speed. Wish I could find the punctuation like quotation marks, quotation, etc.////
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How much are they paying you, Glad?! :)
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Sorry, CM. I just love it. So much easier!
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