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LadeeM all I can say is {{{huggs}}}
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Thanks Ash..... hugs are good, I'll sure take them.... and sending some back to you...
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Ladee we are hear for you-when I decided to become a nurse my mother said I would get hard-at times I wished that I cold get hard I suffered right alone with the families -I never was able to not feel their pain-I use to get in trouble for spending too much time with the pt.'s and their families and stayed late just about every shift -give yourself time to decide what you want to do next-I think right now you are on empty but you are a survivor and before long you will know what is next for you-but never leave us I am selfish I know but you are an important part of our lives .
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I second that and will hunt you down!
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Austin, I'm not going anywhere, if I quit caregiving today I still have great friends here.... no, just weary, as we all get. thanks for the love...

Found out yesterday that MrM has cancer that has spread to his bones.... when he was going thru this last hospitalization, they found a growth on his right kidney.... he is 94, and refuses any drastic options.... so, right now, he is in pain, and refusing to accept his limitations.... he fell last Fri, the day lady had left and daughter was running late, so he finally managed to set up, and sat there for over an hour waiting for someone to come help... L is incapable of using the phone... he was outside... he had been mowing.... so is in a lot of pain now.....
L keeps the carpet hot most of the night, up, down, up , down, getting into stuff, last night, at 1am she decided she wanted hot chocolate...... after the mess she made because she will not let any one help.... and her drinking her concoction.... I TOLD her she had to go to bed and stay there..she was making too much noise and disturbing MrM with all her activity.... she FINALLY went to bed and stayed there....

She is giving the day lady h*ll also.... she, on some level, knows something is wrong with MrM, so I feel that is contributing to her restlessness....who knows.

So, don't know how this is going to change my plans, but I feel the family will want MrM in a Hospice situation away from home.... when the time comes....L would be too stressed and always trying to help if they do Home Hospice....

We make plans, and God laughs..... so I am just doing this one day at a time.... All I know for sure..... this is my LAST caregiving job, no matter how and when it ends.....too much death.... too close together.
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LOL veronica.... i'll be easy to find... the one standing in the crowd, drooling ,with a vacant look in her eyes..... !!!! Like I said, I have great friends here.... not leaving AC, just leaving the trenches... eventually.... hugs !!!
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Ladee, you have worked so hard taking care of so many people I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to lose so many in such a short period of time. My grandma, who lived to be 101, used to say the hardest part of growing old is seeing so many dear friends die and that nobody remembered her when she was young. Some people have a gift for being the paid caregiver, you are one of those! I know I would never be able to do this for someone I didn't know and love. Take your time, and figure out where to go from here.

Know that I am thinking of you.
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I am feeling much better today. As I posted in another thread I visited this morning a brand new assisted living/memory care place that just opened. It's less than 10 minutes from my house. The place will be great for dad. I am scheduling an assessment by the director next week. Though he has assets they want to know if he has two years worth before Medicaid would have to be applied for which he does.
I see him slowly go down all my steps and am fearful of a fall. Then I would really feel guilty if that would happen. Have a told dad about the potential move no as he probably will not remember. Just the hope that he will be in a good new home with lots of activities and his peers makes me feel better.
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Shilo8 - LOL I loved what you said about the 1 in 5 families. But, If they were presented with the same problems talked about in this room the waltons would have gotten the heck off of waltons mountain. Goodbye John Boy. Take care of YOU!!!!
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57 - I hope that your dad gets in that place. Ten minutes away would be wonderful. There are so may people in these rooms that have to go miles and miles to visit their parents. take care of YOU!!!!!!!
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LadeeM - You know how I feel and about how great I think you are. I cannot stress enough how much you are needed to be a caregiver. These families need to wake up and start appreciating you. Take care of YOU!! And as usual Lots of Hugs and chocolate.
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Its getting closer to move in day for my mom. I am excited and very stressed at the same time. My mom is relatively healthy right now but has copd, and fibromyalgia plus a little bit of an I did everything for u attitude and I want you to do everything for me. She sits in the same chair day after day and yes, still smokes , and doesn't do much else other then watch TV. When I go to see her I usually end up doing housework of some kind or taking care of her
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Continuing from before, I can't get her to do anything. She never leaves the house except to go to the doctor and always has other excuses if I just wanna get her out for drive. She's 77 and she's staring to get the "I'm mad at the world attitude" and its really depressing for me. How can I get her to do more around my house when she moves in?. I pray it won't b a constant battle.
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Hey everybody! Please start talking to asmithshi5313.I just read her 2 posts here and I am very concerned for her. I may be overstepping myself,I just don't want to see somebody get in over there head trying to do the right thing. There is so much wisdom and experience on this site. Please share with her. Forgive me is I am speaking out of turn.I just don't want to see somebody put themselves in the corner because they were trying to do the decent thing.
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57 - The new AL/memory care place sounds great and I hope you like what you see when you take your tour. Has anyone talked to you about medicaid spend down I think they call it? Good Luck with the possible new home for your dad.

Lav - LOL, Goodbye Jim Bob. I hope you are making progress with your packing. I have thought about you as I myself am searching for a rental house and doing a little packing. The realtor showed the townhouse we live in yesterday and today. Take care.
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texakana you are right to step in and I am sure others will follow. she is already concerned about having mom as a houseguest/dependent. She is only 77 and has already given up on life. COPD is no excuse for behaving the way she is.
Asmithshi start by setting some bounderies. If you don't smoke do you want the whole house to smell like an ash tray. She smokes outside or in one room with an extracter fan on. She has certain tasks around the house and is expected to do them. Do you have children in the house. In many states it is considered child abuse to expose them to second hand smoke. you already don't like the way she lives. it is going to be far worse 24/7 when she expects you to wait on her full time. She is going to become a total parasite on you and will suck the life out of you. your friends will disappear in record time becaus she is not going to want them in the house and if you try to continue a social life you will get endless phone calls asking when you are comming home. if the move in is alredy a done deal there is not much you can do about it but please start finding her alternative accomodation. Get her on every list there is in your area for public and subsidized housing. If she only has SS she will qualify for all sorts of things. Are you married? her attitude willsoon try hubby's patients if not end the marriage. How about working? Have you thought about what you will do when she needs full time care? it will happen pretty fast once she has you on a short leash. I know you love your Mom and feel you should help her in her old age which is all fine and dandy and an excellent attitude to have but do think this through. This woman is going to continue to be the elephant sitting in the living room chain smoking and waiting for the next meal to be served. Thsi sounds like a nasty reply to you post as you sound so hopeful about changing mom's life for the better but it ainst going to happen. I can be a nasty old lady but you need a wake up call and reinforcement of your doubts. Feel free to send a nasty reply I don't have any skin in this game I just want the best for you and untimaely for your Mom you both deserve better.
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asmith - You are about to make a major life change for yourself and your mother. How long have you been planning this and have you sat down with her to discuss the changes? Also, you said that she is a smoker. Are you a smoker too? Is your mother able to do any type of housework and just doesn't want to out of lazyness or is she unable because of an illness or handicap? I don't think her "you owe me" attitude is a healthy one for you to be involved in at all. If you do go ahead with plans on having her move in with you I would make sure the two of you have some discussions first. I think there will be some others here that will give you some advise.
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V - I like what you said and don't think it was nasty. It is a taste of reality.
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asmith - Yes, please have a talk with her like what are her expectations and what are yours. I think that she is concerned about the changes moving in with you will happen just like you are. It was the other way for me. I moved in with my mom when her eyesight went bad and cold not drive. Please talk with her.
It will save you a lot of heartache. Try to get people to come stay with her so you can have some time for yourself. You both are going to have a lot changes coming your way. Always, take care of YOU!!!!
Shilo8 - Good luck with finding a place to live. When you find a place be ready to fork out a lot for a deposit and turning on utilities. Good luck with selling the townhouse. Have you buried a St. Joseph statue in a garden or ground around the place. Don't laugh, I thought people were crazy to tell me to do that. I got a very small plastic statue . You have to bury it upside down and cover it with a couple inches of dirt. Before you do this make sure that the statue is facing the house. Then pray the st. joseph prayer at night. The day after I buried mine we had a showing. I know it is crazy but my realtor says it works. Take care of YOU!!!!
Hi there -I will have to fork out a lot of money starting out. $300.00 deposit for a cat. She is a good cat. She has never scratched any furniture. I trained her with a scratching pad with catnip on it when she was a kitten. I spent hours last night posting furniture for sale. I got a lot of calls and one buyer. I went through my clothes to see which ones I was keeping or giving away and packed up my kitchen. Jeez, it was like someone gave me a shot of vitamin B12. LOL I am getting nervous about the appraiser and inspector coming on the 10th. Well, back to work. Take care everyone.
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Does anyone else notice how prevalent the word--or the idea--of exhaustion is in our forum?
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cgtoday - I'm sure someone will respond to your question who is not so extremely fatigued. As for me I feel like I could take a nap right now.
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Lol shilo..... sorry cgtoday, usually too exhausted to notice.....
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I agree with the others unless she will agree not to smoke to begin with and agree to get off her butt and make herself useful and know what the expectations are of her she should never move in with you -you may want to try a week and see how it goes but she will not change her behavior why should she want to she is getting everything she wants now her way-maybe have her pay for an aide for help-she should not get everything for no effort.
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Lav - I don't have to worry about selling the townhouse, we just rent it. I sold my house in '05 and did the same thing you did with the statue. Sold the house in less than a week, before the open house. The appraisal and inspection will go fine on your house. You did remind me I have to come up with another security deposit for the dog. If they are part of the family we should not have to pay a security deposit should we? I'm just saying people/children can be just as destructive if not more than our little friends. I've never heard anyone say 'that will be $300 for a child deposit please'.
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Shilo8 - Point taken. I will have the person in the rental office. lol I wonder what she would say. Take care of YOU!!!!
I cannot stand it anymore. Bro is really getting on my nerves(more than usual). He called this morning starting with the line all the time. "this is how its going to go". It is making me crazy. When he was down on Sunday he asked if he could take a look at my new place. He saw that it had a patio. He told me in front of the rental person that he was going to build a shelves for me to put on the patio. He NEVER ASKED ME if I wanted one. Then he asked the rental person if HE could mount a tv on the wall. I DONT WANT A TV ON THE WALL. My GOD you think he is going to move in with me. I posted some things on craiglist (he could not figure how to do it) WIth the prices for everything. I sold the tea cart for 30 dollars. He had a fit when I told him. I was trying to get rid of it and it went to someone who is giving to his mother. I am sorry this is going to be another long one. Then he says is everything in the storage yet. WHAT!!! he said I need the house to be rid of the junk when he comes Sunday. I am doing what can . He has no idea what had to be done here in this house. This is going to keep me seething all night long. You say anything to him and he storms off or hangs up the phone. His temper is going to kill him. I don't know whose family he was raised in but it wasn't the one I was raised in. Lord help me Sunday. Lord please let the sale of this house go through. Take care Ya'll
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Just a word to renters. I am a landlord and if you were in my shoes I promise you you would want security deposits too. how about a rabit cage in the dining room and two big dogs in the back yard. I got a call late one night saying two young men had just rung her door bell. What should I be expected to do about it. Call the police if you are scared. It was just the Mormans. The tenants leave without paying the water bill and the city makes it a lein on my house. Paying the rent 'oh well she can afford it." no she can't it is her retirement fund" I need that income to live on.
I won't go on but there are two sides to every story and I have had tenants from h*ll.
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Lav - If you are trying to be polite to bro tell him you want to think about where you want things before you start hanging things and decorating. Otherwise, (wait for it, here it comes that independent I can do it for myself don't need your help and you would be the last person I would ask anyway) start to distance yourself from bro and just say thanks but no thanks! Good Luck with packing and Label, Label, Label.
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V - My comment was more on the line of what has been said about animals being our family and friends getting us through tough times and referring to a previous post. Believe me I know what animals and tenants can do to places. They can cost thousands of dollars in damaged property. The couple hundred security doesn't always cover that cost. Our friend - our dog is worth it, now I just have to pinch pennies and come up with the deposit.
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Today was Mom's 93 birthday. My sister came from Florida. Mom is hard of hearing, Sister is hard of hearing and blind. The 3 of us have painful histories together. Sister said something to Mom and it was like she stepped on a landmine. Later Mom made us a nice dinner and then preceded to try to "teach" my 66 year old sister how to eat. Memories of physical and emotional abuse ensued. I almost leaped off my chair to attack my mother and protect my sister. I waited and thank God my sister didn't make a scene and gracefully let our mother know she could manage without interference, and Mom backed down. Later my sister spent a few hours sharing our traumatic childhood memories, trying to understand our sick mother, and giving each other a healing hug.
I felt grateful for the opportunity to heal as adults as we remember the abuse inflicted on us as children, and glad to try to get closer to my sister.

My mother was glad to have her 2 daughters with her on her birthday. We went to a clothes thrift store and went out to lunch and had a nice time. Walking on eggs to keep our present demeanor...wanting so much to tell our mother how she hurt us but not being able to because it would only make her sicker. I am glad it's over.
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Tomorrow Mom stays home and Sister and I go to my father and step-mother's for a visit. Dad is blind and deaf, step mother has Alz. Should be interesting!
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