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LadeeM- Thank you for your posts. Yes, I can sit here and feel sorry myself or I can pick up my butt and get moving. Bro called last and the agent said that he has people that will take it off our hands for not a lot but some. Bro complained that it will not be enough to do what he wanted to do with the house he has. Well wee wee all the way home. I mean I told him that we were lucky to get anything. Mom and dad took care of that house sacrificing along the way. Bro thinks that he is owed money for something; I don't know why. So anyway I will survive I always have. Sometimes I think that bro would not mind if I gave him my share too. That ain't going to happen. But anyway I am doing okay so far. I hope that your problems get solved. I would like to get half a shotgun house. had one years ago and I loved it. I really do not want to live in a apartment building. I went to the grocery today and now they have little bottles of wine for a dollar. Give me a break. Hugs and chocolate to you too.
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Lav, if there will be enough money to give you a hand up and out of there.. take the money and RUN !!!!!! love ya
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Thanks so much for the feedback and suggestions, they are appreciated and I needed them today of all days. I agree that she needs meds for anxiety, I asked my dad to please call the doc and tell them what is going on so they have an accurate picture. As for a specialist, they live on an island so they have limited supply on specialists. She is seeing a neurologist who ordered an mri last week, no results yet. Her GP has a large percentage of elderly patients but is not a geriatric specialist. It is a horrific to watch because it is all mental, her physical body is relatively strong. Again, thanks for the feedback, I am so appreciative that you can share your wisdom. I sense that I will be a frequent flyer!
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well I ordered new glasses today but it will take two weeks so more blurry vision until then I have to deal with. But the other news is that the director of the new asst. living place came and did assessment and tentatively dad will be moving in next month. And he still has his cold but appetite is good so to me that is a good thing.
Not sure if I feel relieved about the upcoming move but since my vision issue is new that makes my decision feel better to me as this concerns me a great deal. Spoke at length with a friend who is in a similar situation with her mom and with a cousin who was her fathers and her in laws caregiver for several years for thoughts about the move, I guess I feel a bit sad as I feel I am abandoning him though he will only be about 3.5 miles away and his new home will provide more support. I know this is what mom would have wanted. My sister will be here next month to help with the move. So feeling a bit emotional right now I will see how I am tomorrow.
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On the verge of tears - home health care aides were long awaited, but now my mom is on her 4th UTI and as a result of not having a clean diaper is red, swollen, and uncomfortable. Neither Mom or Dad being kept clean after using the toilet. Prayed for some help, but feel physically ill from the lack of competence of the aides.
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I am long into many tears and my heart goes out to you Rmts. I am at the end of my rope and lost to the depression.
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My heart aches! I'm watching the news and they are reporting about a woman in the next town over, who was stabbed to death in her driveway by her husband. Then they show a picture of her and"I know her".. I worked with her during high school and college many years ago.. I hung around with her and went to her 1st wedding. I haven't seen or talked to her in over 30 yrs but it I was stunned to see her photo..

I always remember her as a kind person..She has several grown children. So sad for the family..

I think my life stinks some days. I can't imagine what her life was like to end in such a tragic death...
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My gosh, A&A, I cannot imagine the shock you must feel! Do you think dementia may be a factor?
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How awful.
Dementia could be a facter but more likely unrecognized mental or denied mental illness.
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I doubt it's dementia. She was 52 and the husband is 56...
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Oh no Assa..... so sorry to hear this..... I know you are shocked and hurt .... let us know how you are doing with this... and yes... someone always has it worse... we do forget that sometimes... sending you lots of hugs....
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I haven't spoken to her over in 30 yrs. It's just sad. Who expects to know anyone involved in these violent crimes..
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If you burn out or stroke out you will be unable to care for yourself, never mind anyone else. Take 3 deep breaths & take 3 seconds to exhale. Get someone in to relieve you & get to a doctor yourself.
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UGH! My Mom has an appt at 1pm today and she already has her jacket on!! It's only 11:30 am!
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woke dad up as today is a adult day care day but with his cold I wanted to see how he felt. Walk into bedroom and I glance at nightstand and the water glass on the night stand was full of urine! Ewwwww.....he said he could not get door open to get to bathroom? I think the OTC cold meds must have confused him. Tossed empty cup in trash. He is feeling better so O am not giving him any more cold medicine and will make sure I do not close his bedroom door totally shut either.
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As long as Mom sits still she will be fine till it's time to go. Have a cup of coffee and a snack and the time will go fast and you will feel better.
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Assande - I am sorry to hear about that. She was so young. Now the children have lost both parents. As for your mother at least she's ready to go.Take care of YOU!!!
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Hey there - I do not know if ya'll know but all h*ll is breaking lose in Iraq. People on the news said that gas prices will be going up. The oil companies will pounce on this and raise the prices. I just went and top off the gas in the car. Take care of Ya'll
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57Twin... welcome to the YOU thread... sounds like you have your hands full... and sometimes the cold medicine affects our elders harder than it does us..... and at least he peed IN something and not on the floor !!!! That wouldn't be nice to wake up to...... hugs
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57twin - I hope that everything turns out okay with your eyes. Please do not feel sad about the move. He will have plenty of support and you know he will be taken care of. You have a little time to get used to it. Lean on you sister as you go through this change. Thank goodness he will be so close to you. There is always the phone. Please take care of YOU!!!
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I was pretty much a zombie today as I did a little cleaning in basement this morning but was a couch potato either reading or playing games on my Ipad. Dad thankfully worked on word search book all day. Yesterday was a very stressful day for me I had an upset stomach when I went to bed so its a recovery day for me. But still have to get dad to take a shower tonight. Hopefully I will have more energy tomorrow. Dad is feeling better.
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Lav...so sorry the deal on the house fell through...hope you find an as is buyer soon...LadeeM, didn't realize you were a hurricane survivor on top of everything else...good luck with Cujo. MIL never turned violent (at least she was spared something) When she was confused she knew it and got upset and would tell me she was confused and didn't know what she was supposed to do now...like how to find her room. Had a friend once who said you expect to have to deal with things like this with your parents but not your life partner...her husband had gotten to where she was afraid she could not take care of him...that is a whole different dynamic. He had been her rock for over 50 years. To do something that would upset them would be really hard, even if it meant things being harder for yourself. My husband and I have been married almost 47 years and together as a couple for about 50. Hate to tell you what I would be willing to go through to try to keep from upsetting him or doing anything that would make him miserable and he would be the same with me. Only saying this to try to help some understand why some of the elderly parents are willing to put up with so much trying to care for their spouse...You don't choose your parents but you do choose your spouse, and when a couple has been together for 50 years or so, they have become a solid part of each others lives. I guess it would be a natural reaction to try to hang on to what is normal for you, even when that normal isn't even there any more...I pray I don't ever have to face those decisions...Love and hugs to those who have to do it and prayers for understanding from the children who have to watch their aging parents struggle through it.
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I actually have a day off.Slept till 10 AM although I did get up at 5 AM to give mom her coffee and pain med. Wonderful husband will deal with her today for me as yesterday I did an 80mile round trip to MD again and then took her to get her hair done.Saw her briefly this AM,first thing out of her mouth "look at my hand" ,I cut her off after that because it is the same old thing, she has RA in that hand , wears her night brace to tight ,I have talked to her about this and she is also on 180 mg of morphine a day so I think her pain will be taken care of for the day.Just laying in bed with a cup of coffee while wonderful husband takes mother down to the basement where she has a little art studio she "plays" in,guess her hand doesn't hurt that much,oh and she also has a huge TV with cable and a bed if she wants to lay down,got good and she doesn't even know it.
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Fantastic Tex..... and hope you enjoy every delicious second of your respite time.... and give hubby a hug from all of us for being a great husband.....!!!!! I want you to come back and share about 'doing nothing'..... we at least want to experience this vicariously...... lol.... have a great day and enjoy yourself!!! hugs and chocolate..... !
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Red, I always love hearing about you and hubby.... I am 'relationship challenged' , meaning if he was a jerk, I wanted to marry him.... I did get three awesome step children out of my mistakes.... but have no desire to ever get into any of that again...... so I can't relate to your dedication of taking care of a life mate..... but I can relate on the level of my children...... no hesitation at all when it comes to my kids..... so thank you for sharing your love with us....makes my heart feel all soft !!!

Cujo has settled down... finally slept after almost two weeks of only sleeping an hour or two at a time.... between the LBD and exhaustion.... well, I don't need to explain it to ya'll... ya'll live it too..... what frustrates me is the daughter is so stubborn about giving Cujo her anxiety meds.... EVERY DAY..... she ends up giving her one when it is her turn to stay the weekend..... I have tried to explain to the daughter how the meds work..... giving it to her every day allows it to do it's job, not knock her out when the daughter is tired of dealing with her...

So Cujo had two great nights sleep, was in a much better mood, and she can be so much fun when she isn't exhausted..... but can't imagine the roller coaster her brain and body go thru with the meds not being consistent... deep sigh.....

So, will spend one of my precious days off getting the mess from the leaking fridge cleaned up..... so need to get going.... hugs to all of you ..... we need each other..... in a good way....
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I've been in 'wait and see' mode for a few months now. I put the 'wheels in motion' to get my mother's driver's license revoked (she has dementia, lives alone, and is still driving--not disoriented yet, but never was a good driver). Paperwork from her neurologist was submitted to the DMV, and I've been waiting for the official notice. A week ago, the regular form letter from them came, saying her license was due to expire on her birthday in early August, so I've been sitting on that until I hear otherwise. My own doctor and dentist appointments haven't been scheduled in too long, and yesterday I just had it with the waiting and waiting. I called today, and I should be receiving the notice in the mail in the next day or two, they said. I'm relieved to know that I can finally MOVE on this. I'll take more time off work (I really miss using vacation time for vacations instead of her stuff), make the 3 hour drive to her, break the news, and arrange for the donation of her car. I'll also arrange for companion/transportation assistance for her, which she's needed for the last year, but refused to allow it. And then, hopefully, I can get on with my OWN life for a little bit. Sorry if I sound crabby, but thanks for listening.
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P.S. Anyone who noticed the 'wheels in motion' metaphor gets bonus points! Lol... :)
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looloo, your not crabby, you are in the 'caregiver state of mind'.... I think we need to write a song with that name... won't make any sense to anyone but us !!!! Hope you get it done and can relax and maybe even get a REAL vacation day...... hugs
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I wonder if Darius Rucker would mind us changing the lyrics some to his 'Southern State of Mind' song?
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Shilo.... do you think we even care what Darius Rucker thinks???? It's not like he would come on AC and read what we made up !!!! LOL..... Let's just go for it.... and if we get in trouble....maybe we will get some national attention about our plight as caregivers..... !!!!
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