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I, too, am going to take a nap. It's 1246pm and I'm sooo tired. Whacking those vines was so tiring. Thank goodness when my right hand was swinging that scythe, my left holding the 2nd scythe was positioned in front of my legs. Several times, I over whacked, met no resistance and the right handed scythe came flying right back to me. Several times it hit hard against the lefthanded scythe. I would have had a serious leg injury with blood spurting out and ... no blood transfusion. I would have died because our one hospital on this island does not have the facility to treat a 'no blood transfusion' emergency. It took me 40 minutes to whack it and pull up the knee high weeds. The darn vine had a tendril going into our phone's master box! The other vine was dangling on the spliced telephone wire that was connected to the box. I really need to be vigilant on those vines. And buy a garden glove. I used the latex gloves but that was icky when I pulled my sweaty hands from it.

I don't mind talkative people. I can listen to them. But I would like it if they know when to stop and share with the listening. =) I'm going to take a short nap.
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I think I will die long before my husband with Lewy Body Dementia, from smoking and drinking too much. The irony of this is my husband was a triathlete and Ironman who took care of his body for years, got his Masters, and he gets dementia. It is so unfair. I wish with every being that I could be the one with the dementia. Soooooo unfair.
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Photoart, I wouldn't be wishing that. Here on island, it is very common that when the wife has dementia, the husband is out fooling around. I've heard stories from the caregivers that sometimes the husband bring their mistresses into the home. No respect at all for their wives. They also said that they have known the men to divorce their wives. So many of them have praised my father for being there for mom. These caregivers really respected my father. Yep, it is unfair. Your husband did all that to stay healthy and yet continued to smoke and drink. Kind of cancels out the benefits. As for me, I wouldn't want to have dementia. I already know that I have no one to take care of me if I do. I will end up as one of those homeless people walking the streets.
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Baby bro called me. First thing he asked was how was my outing yesterday. Usually we talk nonstop. I was quiet. I said the social answers but he kept waiting for the details. I couldn't tell him. So we had dead air silence on the phone. I changed the subject. Several times.

He's concerned about the house/land. Hello? You were here in March for 3 weeks. Why wasn't he concerned about it then? Because he was busy eating out with oldest bro at these different restaurants, and spending time with his gf. Now that he's back in Virginia, he's concerned? Whatever!

He wants me to get POA. Hello? Dad is not diagnosed with dementia. He said he's not stupid to let anyone have POA over him (his SIL had POA over his brother and something must have happened for him to be so anti-female having POA.) Dad who is very old fashion and believes women know nothing and should keep their mouth shut? Who is only good for cleaning and cooking? Bro became quiet.

So, I told him that he better figure out what he wants to do. Dad already said that his house/land goes to him and other older bro. If they want to keep it, he better figure out what he wants, and get his butt back here. Because once oldest bro finds a way to get POA, I truly believe this house/land would end up with him or his children.
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Book, I think it is photo that is smoking and drinking too much, at least the way I read it.
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Book, maybe the things you don't like about bro's gf is the things he likes best... not the rudeness, but the talking non stop.....is he quite? Sometimes people are attracted to things in others they wish they were....

Are you making any arrangements for where you will live after dad passes? Sounds like they won't hesitate to send you packing....you are like me, no one to take care of me.... maybe we can find bridge to live under and be roommates!!!

Back to work tonight... seems I didn't have any time off , stayed busy cleaning house and the mess with the fridge.... I hate being Susy Homemaker....... I'd rather be sculpting or sleeping.....
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Book, saw this today, a guy carries cards in his wallet that says... STOP TALKING...... and hands them out to people who get on his nerves.... order you some !!!
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Oh, you're right, Glad! I'm sorry Photo. I misread your comment. The stress of caregiving can lead others to smoking/drinking. Oldest sis said that she could never give up her cigarettes because they help her handle stress. She was smoking a pack a month. Then when she started to babysit dad, she's now back to being a chain smoker. FYI, statistically there is a higher death rate of caregivers than non-care givers. So, you could be right. A few months after my dad's stroke, my cholesterol shot up drastically. Stress would do us in.
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Bro loves to talk, joke and flirt. He's a natural flirt. He was in the same flight with my other brother of TX. B-bro (Baby bro) flirted with the flight attendants. When it was time to eat, older bro paid $10 for his meal. B-bro got his for free. I hope his GF can handle this. He makes jokes, and she laughs at it. I will tell you this. She will be the one wearing the pants in their relationship, though.

What I'm really concerned about is how she is handling how close bro and I are. I just couldn't help it that she kept bringing up how happy bro is that she's with me. She took a photo of me and sent it to bro while we in the restaurant. She then couldn't resist telling me that bro said that I look weird. She really didn't have to tell me that. I mean, she was not telling me all the other stuff he was texting to her, but she just had to tell me that one only? That night, she sent me a text again saying that bro was happy that we spent time together. . I hope, really hope that I'm wrong that she does not perceive me as competition for bro's heart. That's why I'm trying to stay as neutral as possible.

She wants us to go eat at Yogurtland regularly. That's fine. It will help her to get to know me and not see me as a threat. I have other misgivings which I will not mention here. That one - I may be wrong - but no matter how I try to dismiss it - those thoughts keep popping back. I will not interfere. Bro used my spare cell phone. I had to use it yesterday. She text him telling him to delete all their texts. He did not. You guys, my brother loves her. His heart is really bad. Twice he failed his annual work's physical check-up. They actually called the ambulance to take him to the ER. If he loves this woman, then I will not stand in his way. And I think, since he met her last year, is also the time when he started to say those 3 words of affection to me by email and text. I still have his text in my cell phone. I'm hoping soooo hard that I'm wrong about her. Now I feel so sad thinking about it.
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Photo - Have you found a home for your husband? Do you have any family or friends to talk? Keep talking to people here...we will walk the journey with you.

Book & ladeeM - I won't have anyone to help take care of me either. Mind if I join your group of lonesome doves? Book would you leave the island or would we be moving there? I just had a picture of LadeeM on her m-cycle circling around and around you warding off the evil spirits. There would be a learning curve to your culture but you would also need to accept a few of our um ways...as the m-cycle seems to be a must!
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Well,which place is the cheapest to live in? Definitely not here on island. They import everything and the cost of food, etc.. keeps rising. I just gas my car. It's $4.97 per gallon. My favorite regular size candy bar is now $1.10. We need to make sure that no mean or scary spirit from the Civil War is still roaming the area. I do Not like to hear noises at night that belongs to the supernatural.

I once slept overnight at a hotel by myself. Because I didn't know if someone had died in that room and might be haunting it, I went to bed fully clothed with socks on....and On top of the blanket. Any boogaloo (ghosts) visits me at night, I was already dressed and packed. I would have ran outside the room in seconds - if they did not bar the door...
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Book - I just read your last post about your bro. If his health is really bad and you do love him, let him have the chance to love. Look past his gf's faults...for your bro. It is the one loving thing you can do at this time. It will strengthen your relationship with him. When you spend time with his gf and she tries to belittle you just remember to take a deep breath in and blow it out your mouth! Then come tell us about it and get it out of your system so it doesn't eat at you and your relationship with your bro. I'm sorry bro is not in better health.
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Book - here gas is $3.52 per gal. and at walmart a large size candy bar will cost you as low as $1.00 depending on what you buy. Ladee will have to let us know prices in her area.
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Shilo, my next question is this - who gets hit the most with tornado. NO tornado for me. Those things are Scary! I will take a hurricane any time. It seems that hail likes to keep tornado company. So, you're out in the field, you see a tornado hopping, you need to quickly find a safe place. Oops... no houses nearby. I know, let's find a ditch. You find a ditch. Lo and behold! Is that golf ball size hail falling? Now where should I run? Under the bridge? Nope, that is a big no-no. {{shudder}}
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Gas and chocolate is about the same here in Western NY. One thing that moves visiting Canadians to tears is not any tourist attraction, but a simple sign that says "Budweiser 30 pack $18.99" at the corner store. LOL
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Gas here in MA is $3.65 and candy is usually a buck at Walmart.. Cigarettes are $10 a pack and a 30 pack of Bud is usually $22.99.. They don't call us Taxachusetts for nothing! LOL
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Do I see a new houseful of Goldern Girls forming? Don't worry Book if LadeeM moves to your island the spirits won't dare mess with her and I would put money on her not haveing time for cockroaches either. I bet she has found worse under rocks in Texas.
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LOL !!!! Our gas is $3.45, candy bars, sometimes two or three for a dollar...and as far as the m-cycle... well, it would take all you girls to get me off of it... I could get on it.... and ride like a crazy woman.... but with the arthritis in my knees and hands.... well, if ya'll couldn't get me off of it.... dangle chocolate in front of my face......

Yes, we have roaches here, not as big as the ones Lav has tho...... when I lived down home we almost had to wear helmets in the house, those suckers are huge and can fly..... mostly scorpions here to worry about...

And I think we'll have to get Book to move to the states... no demons allowed in the states.... !!!! She could travel all over the States and not have to pay horrible air fare prices......

The cost of living is good here in Tx..... unemployment low.....and here in Central Tx we are having another oil boom... which means jobs for many and revenue to the towns.....I think gas is cheaper here than anywhere....

Ya, Golden Girls... we need four, Veronica, who do you want to be.... I want to be the old lady.... can't remember her name....

God, finally something to look forward to...... this could turn into a plan !!! LOL

Have to work tonight so am going to bed for awhile.... ttyl.....love and hugs
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Golden Girls, love that show! Blanche, Dorothy, Rose and the old lady Sophia.
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I keep being called a cougar so does that mean I'm like Blanche? Going to think on a name for myself.
No matter where we are Ladee and her m-cycle will keep all evil at bay so don't worry about that Book.
We could live in the north in summer time. I know there is a reservation just by the canadian border were everything is cheaper. Do you know which one I speak of Ladee, it is in NY around the Falls? In the winter, south were the weather is warmer and tornado/hurricane season has past...just for you Book.
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Shilo - I am right with you LadeeM and Book on not having anybody to take care of me when I need it. None of my women friends have children either. Take care of YOU!!!
Photo - Do you have a caregivers group to go to. There are plenty of places you can go to for help. I would suggest that you call council on aging in your area for help. I'm sorry I do not know you that well but you are not taking care of you. I was floundering taking care of my mother. A social worker care to see Mom for an assessment. At the end she motioned for me to go talk to her. She told me to get help because she could see me getting to the breaking point. I have been going to one on one and group therapy and also on meds for depression. I feel a lot better. Please keep coming back in here. It is the best place on earth. Take Care Of YOU!!!!!!
Book - You really have a dilemma on your hands. Maybe it is not as it seems to be. I hope that bro's relationship will not be in jeopardy from his relationship. Why do we always have some kind of BS going on. I hope that your brothers remember what you did for your mother and father. When it comes to the nitty gritty. Take care of YOU!!!
Well. I still have to wash dishes in the backyard. I think that this could be bad. The dishes are not getting very clean without hot water. Rinsing with cold water. Oh well. I am p o'd . Bro said that we can not prove that inspector did the harm. Jeez! We do not close until July 30th. My birthday. So it will be awile before I can use a decent sink. I am going to move the dish washing to the bathtub. That way I can run hot water. Pain in the big A. Let me get back to the dishes. Take care ya'll
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Lav, why don't you get a plumber in to fix the kitchen sink?
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I have kids, but would never ask or expect them to do what I do... my oldest daughter is a nurse..... she will advocate for me.... but sounds like we do need to find a central NH for our self... where we can at least be with friends.....!!!

Lav, at least heat some water in the micro wave.. plumbers are expensive... but I bet if you went online, you could figure out how to fix it yourself.... I have a clogged sink right now.... and that's what I am going to do to fix it....

I can't wait for my next day off !!!! I know, I know, ya'll don't get days off.... but my body is screaming... I did way too much yesterday..... up and down the steps is what got me I think.....

My new little ac is keeping things nice and cool in the Grapes of Wrath wagon... I may actually make it this summer...... and Book , you asked about tornados..... we have them here occasionally.... but we don't have basements or storm cellars. Have not been any where I live..... so maybe you just need to think about moving to Texas..... we have swamps to mountains here, and everything in between.....

Will talk to ya'll tomorrow.... hugs, love, angels and chocolate..... and no demons....
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Lav - Since you are moving think about packing up your dishes and buying some paper plates and plastic utensils to use until you move...less dishes to have to wash.
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Been a long time since i've been here. Tried to keep myself busy today on fathers day. Things are changing this week. My mom's caregiver that she loved quit she found a better job. I'm happy for her but was also sad. It seems i cry a lot lately. But some say its good to have a good cry get up and start again LOL. We had a nice dinner on her last day. So last week had no caregiver homecare service is so slow at getting a replacement. Mom has been very agitated with attended daycare so they have changed services to keep her at home couple days a week so maybe she can get more rest. State pays for majority of the homecare just had 8 hours that i had to cover so i found someone that can cover that and siblings are going to help pay for it. I know all this will be big change just hope it helps her feel better. My brother had to help pick mom up last week since there was no caregiver and he just thought he was doing everything for our mom and i did nothing. Such a small chore but what do i expect from a selfish brother. His top priority is always his friends and sports. Mom is talking about dying a lot and told me tonight that she will die this month. She has been having problems since she sprained her foot months ago, severe pain from arthritis and had seizures today. She is doing better now after i got her to rest today. Put call into doctor and hopefully I get some answers tomorrow.
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LadeeM...I could not agree more...I have a daughter and son and have told them both that I want them to put me in a home if I can't care for myself and to just make sure they change my depends...There is a nice one, not far from where we live that I am familiar with...have had a couple of friends live there...one lady actually loved it...said all the people were so nice and I know they made sure she got the care she needed...food wasn't the greatest but it was all stuff she could chew. Would not want my kids to do what I've done either...Good luck on the plumbing...don't make the mistake I did...once crawled under to take a clogged drain apart...(not real smart) didn't think not to be laying under the pipe when I took it loose...what a mess...my husband was in Viet Nam back then...all I kept thinking was "don't throw up or I have to clean that up too!"...at least it wasn't in my face...did however get it all fixed and back together...valuable lesson learned for all time...LOL.
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Lav...our first apartment in Germany had no hot water in the kitchen...I heated a pot on the stove for washing and rinsing dishes...just like when camping...of course I was 47 years younger back then...I've gotten pretty spoiled since then...would probably use disposables now...
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Book, just to go back a bit - get your POA set up now, don't wait 'til your father's losing capacity. It doesn't come into effect until you need it, you just keep it in a drawer; but if you leave it too long then he won't be able to do the paperwork and you'll have a mess on your hands.
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CM, my father is old fashion. Only boys inherit the land. Females marry guys with land. Females keep their mouth shut on anything dealing with real life. Females should keep their mouth shut because they don't know what they're talking about. He had a female doctor willing to come to our house to do home visit. But,when he had to go to the clinic, he preferred a MALE doctor. Male doctors know more than female doctors. She is JUST a lowly doctor - unlike the male doctor.

When mom was alive and needed to go to the ER, I tried for weeks to get him to take her. He refused. So, I decided one day, to go next door to bro's house. The only one home was my 16 yr old nephew. I was in my late 30s or early 40s. My Father Listened to my 16 yr old nephew - because he is a MALE.

On his recent hospital visit, I tried to get him to go the ER. He refused. I went next door, and my 2 nephews came over. He agreed to go. Get it? As a Female, I am Nothing to him. I am only good to keep house, cook, wash his clothes and fetch.

And that is why I'm pressuring baby bro that he needs to come back home and either get dad to include his name in the house/land or get POA. My fear is - that if bro gets his name in the house/land, and he marries his gf - I'm screwed. So now, I'm backing off. I won't pressure him anymore because he doesn't want POA. He will only listen to a Male. Only.
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Nice attitude, Book! Just remember: you don't always need his permission to do things that are in his best interests. You can ring the lawyers' office, for example, and give instructions for the documents to be drawn up giving POA to your brother if that's how they both want to play it. So then you'll have got everything ready and all your father and your brother have to do is add their signatures.

I'm smiling wryly: your father may think you're only good for housework, cooking and tending him. Does that mean you have to agree???

You've spotted your long-distance problem, too: that the capital assets, the house and land, seem likely to be heading your brother's way in the future. Well, now. So what provision are you making for you? I know it's a scary question, but it's better faced now than later...
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