This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
see I knew I would get you in flannel nightgowns one day. Oh and sheep skin slippers
many hugs
Ya guys, this is a great opportunity...... but like I said, if it's supposed to happen, it will..... I don't have a problem moving......I like change.... and would finally get to have summer that I didn't die !!!! Will keep ya'll updated.....
Did tell my friend that I would be out chopping wood and helping her hubby fix fences..... she said NO WAY..... I said WAY !!!! I'm not setting on my ass and won't be held hostage.... LOL..... and a whole new territory to explore..... come on Lav.... let's move to Montana..... we wouldn't know what to do without a sweltering summer.....!!!!
LadeeM - now that is one very touching, heartwarming gesture - to invite you into their lives. It shows how much she loves you, too. And her hubby, too. Montana and Texas are two drastic living conditions. You can tell us all your adventures And Misadventures in Montana - if that is where the shoe falls.
And yes this young lady is a treasure in my life...... we have some very deep and philosophical conversations and I miss that with her..... and laugh.... OMG.... we both have a very twisted sense of humor..... we'll see how the hubby adjusts to that !!! LOL.....
But I just live in today.... have today to deal with..... my oldest granddaughter will be here tomorrow for two weeks.....can't wait to see her and get and give hugs and kisses...... I miss her a lot.....
And Book, I'm pretty sure my life will not take a magic turn around... so if this comes to pass, it will probably be 'misadventures......love ya
glad I saw the pics..... it was accumulated !!!! Keep in mind we have very mild winters.... last year was the coldest we had had in many years...... and who knows where God is going to plant me next.... it might be in the snow... who knows.....lol
Funny about the snow, one of the things Mom told hubby before he moved here nine years ago was that, yes it snows, but it is gone the next day. On their wedding day in 2006, a major storm came in, some guests were not able to get there, because of road closures. I would have been one of them if I had not left the night before! LOL!
He still teases her about that, but now she has no idea what he is talking about.
Oh sure.... Sharyn, if this doesn't work out I can always be the Sib Bounty Hunter !!!!! I can be scary sometimes.... so I might have to add this to my bucket list..... lol
Guess I need to get more info as to where I might be living...... blink blink, ya think....