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Ugh! Not quit, Quite..
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HA.. I just heard my Mom in the other room "oh it's 6:20 it must be morning" I yelled from the kitchen "it's night time, I'm eating my supper"..

She dozed off for about 15 minutes... Yikes..
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Just got a call from the NH. Mommie Dearest was found on the floor - tried to get into bed from her wheelchair which she knows she can't. No harm done. The call actually woke me from a nap. The caller sounded really irritated. Evidently Mommie Dearest was complaining that there was nothing to do - this evening they're having a strawberry social and old car show but she refused to attend. A life long narc, if they'd said she'd been crowned Queen of the Strawberry Social she'd have been there with bells on. She's so much better than everyone else you see.

Thursday I escort her (para transit bus) in my truck a few miles to get her dentures relined. Establishing ground work I've mentioned they appear to be of middle eastern descent (long clothing, head scarves) and her horrified reaction was "You mean they're pakis??!!!"

If she kicks up, refuses to let "pakis" touch her and is abusive to them I'll sit her in the waiting room to wait until the para transit bus comes to get her and take her back to the NH and I will leave her to get on with it. I've had a lifetime of her cr*p and won't tolerate it for a minute longer.
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Ashlynne I'm not usually keen on white lies, but would there be any mileage in calling the NH, saying you've twisted your ankle and you can't drive, and telling them they'll have to take her to the dentist (or asking them nicely!)? I know the arrangement's already been made; I'm just not clear why you have to take her. What happens to little old ladies who don't have daughters to drive them to appointments, for example? - there must be a system.
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HI there- I'm sorry i cant comment on the things happening right now. I think of all of you often and wish I could be here as much as I used to. It sounds selfish of me I know. I have been worrying and looking for work. I have found some new job leads so I feel better. A big change in sale of house. The closing was supposed to be July 30th. Bro called me when I was having lunch with a friend. Needing me to call him right away. Come to find out we have to go bond for deed. Meaning that we rent the house to the man until October. Another four months with Bro. What is this, a conspiracy for me to be able to handle the you know what. Now I have to move in a week. I an not ready for this. There is still a lot to do with the house and now i have to find an apartment NOW! But I will not have to pay for the home insurance the renter will have to pay for it. I will have enough to pay for move-in and cat deposit. I have to hire someone to finish the attic. That means another mess for me to clean up. I still have to get a job. Jeez!!! Well, I will try and come back but y life has taken a 180 degree turn. Please take care of YOURSELVES!!!
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I had a compliment that made my day. I arrived home during lunch to drop off some stuff. It was another govt caregiver - and she was just leaving. She saw me and we both smiled in greeting. She exclaimed, "You are so bright!"

I smiled wider because I love bright colorful clothes. I was wearing my deep purple jeans, and a sleeveless blouse that looks like a toga top in bright orange, green, yellow flowers (more like the green stems and splashes of bright leaves). I looked at my clothes, and said that I love bright colors.

She said, "No, I meant that you have such a bright smile. You look happy." Ooohhh... I feel bad. Because after she left, I looked at oldest sis. She looked soooo tired. You know, she wouldn't be so tired if she learned to be a little bit firm with dad. My dad used to expect me to jump every time he makes a request. After constant battles, he now makes requests and adds "when you get up." Although I wished I did not stay home on Tuesday/Thursday on my week vacation leave, I still know in my heart that sis also needed a vacation from dad. FYI, fave sis had to babysit dad on a recent Saturday. When I came home at 3pm, she looked awful. I chuckled and asked her if - every time she sat down, he asked for something else? She showed irritation and said, "Yeah!!! Why couldn't he ask for it when I was still standing up?!" Fave niece told me that her mom said that she didn't know how tiring it was to babysit grandpa.
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Lav I don't know if you can do this but why can't you stick to the original closing date?
As for completing work in the house why is this having to be done Were these things stipulation of the sale
You are #1 Lav let bro take care of the house.
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Lav, I think selling houses are so confusing. I didn't know it was out-of-the-ordinary what you mentioned until Veronica questioned it. Sorry, this is all new for me.

My dad is complaining of a sore in his mouth. I said that it's from not brushing his teeth. He insists that chewing gum is enough to clean the teeth. I even gave him his toothbrush and he doesn't want to do it. He just muttered, "Don't tell me what to do. I'm not stupid." He will only listen to a Male. I wonder when the male nurse is going to visit? I need to give him heads up so that he can tell my dad the importance of brushing his teeth.
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CM the NH won't take her. They won't even lift her into my truck so I have to lay on a para transit bus to take her while I follow. She's such a nasty piece of work I have to chaperone so I can cut her off at the pass if she starts flapping her mouth. I'm very firm with her these days and deal with her like she's a spoiled child throwing a tantrum when she starts up. No-one in her life ever stood up to her until now. That I won't take her nonsense for a minute these days really sets her back on her heels.

Monday, while shopping, I bought her a boom box (she wanted so bad) along with a new blouse. Tuesday I went back to the NH with headphones and a CD I knew she liked. She was delighted at the time but by today she'll be complaining about them ... the boom box doesn't work, take it back, she'd have preferred the blouse in another colour and so on. I continue to pay her bills, ensure she has what she needs and take her treats but, mentally and emotionally, I'm dead inside. I've given up. Nothing in her life has ever made her happy and nothing ever will.
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Ashlynne (frowning crossly) well it seems very unsatisfactory! Humph.

I'm glad you've got a good stout firewall in place now, emotionally speaking, though? Much needed if you're going to keep up the - I have to say - noble and virtuous work of still lifting a finger to help her.

I still think the dang NH should be doing it, though. What if you actually were in traction? They'd let her teeth fall in?
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SA give yourself time-I was able to get out while the husband was still with us and got involved with one activity and since his death slowly got more involved and since I met my honey my life is great -I stayed with you guys because I had so many friends and was following so many great people-some leave here completely and some do drive byes and some come back-I feel we have the voice of experience -unwanted and unasked for experience for sure and are ale to help others-just understanding helps those still in the trenches .
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Lav - Excuse the bluntness here...Was it bro's decision to change the terms of sale to rent until October and move in immediately? If so, at the very least he should be the one cleaning the attic or handling the details not you. You have enough to do. I might have missed something but it sure sounds like he is making all the decisions then pushing everything off on you. If that is the case then push back. Tell him to get his a$$ over to the house and get the attic cleaned out. You don't have the money to pay someone to do it just because he decided to change the terms of sale on his own without consulting you (or letting you know from the start what the terms of sale were). Sorry, maybe someone could donate one of those punching bags to me.
Take care of yourself and you will get your things packed in no time. Just think of the positive things like not having to wash the dishes in the tub much longer. o_o
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Ashlynne, is the reason NH won't help at all with your mother because you prefer to take her to an outside doctor and not one under their system? I've read some pros and cons of using the NH's doctor - here on AC. Some are great, and some are not. Some NH absolutely refuses to do any medical assistance (like the one where the nurse called 911 about a dying client in NH. She was required by the NH policy to do NO medical procedures. So she called 911)? You may want to look at the fine prints of that contract you signed with NH.
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Ashlynne...when my husband's aunt was in a NH they kept calling me to go pick up her meds and take her to dr. appointments...I asked what they did with people who didn't have family because she had a son that lived in the southern part of the state and she was not our responsibility...(long history on why we felt that way...she had always been a real pill) anyway they did start taking care of that stuff for her...a special needs lady that I helped was picked up by ambulance and transported to her doctor appointments and others in the same facility who still had their mental faculties often rode the transport bus by them selves to their appointments...they have to have some way to take care of it because not everyone in a NH has family to do it for them.
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You know the old saying that death comes in 3's...

Well I told you about the women I was friends with yrs ago who's husband stabbed her to death #1

My good friend lost her sister on Sunday #2

And a friend of mine just came by to tell me that another women I worked with about 7 yrs ago got into a car wreck and died on Saturday..#3

I hope that's all for awhile!
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Assandy, it should stop at those 3. Last year, my dad's sister died in January. My mom passed away in March. And my dad's uncle (they look like twins) died in June. After that, no other close relatives passed away.

The funny thing was - when aunty died in January, my siblings got soooo worried like you - and said that about death coming in 3's. I didn't believe them. I just thought it's superstition. Because aunty has told my dad that her heart is so bad that she can die at any given moment. She has been ordered by her doctor that she can no longer drive because of this. .... Even when my mom died, I still didn't believe it because - as mom's caregiver, mom has been at death's door too many times. But this time, I'm at the wheel, and I have mom's DNA form, and I was going to honor it (unlike dad.) Then when uncle died from cancer. Again, cancer is so prevalent. I have friends fighting cancer, and a first cousin fighting cancer, my oldest sister's granddaughter died of cancer. One person dies of cancer every 3 days here. Soooo... coincidence... And I'm sticking to THAT. =)
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Hi all - Yes it sounds like bro is making all the decisions but he isn't. Apparently, the date had to be moved up because of the man who is buying it needs the house now to start on repairs. I still do not know what happened to the d*mn sink. It was working fine when I left the house. So now that has to be fixed. Well, god part is that we do not have to come up with over $700.00 for home insurance. This area is terrible with the insurance mainly because of Katrina. Everything went sky high and have not come down since. Well, anyway bro called while I was in the bathroom pulling up my freaking pants and I got this call me NOW!! message. When I start to tell him about the situation he says he is going to go and make the changes without my input. Sorry, I am so upset. He keeps nagging me that I should have gotten a job in March, Yes, I should have looked sooner. Now it is all coming down on me. Im just crying all day.
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Lavender do you have some theraputic pills to see you through this hard time. You don't have to take something for ever but you won't get anything done if you are crying all the time and brother will continue to bully you.
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Lav, you need to also tell your brother that he, too, is responsible with getting the house ready. Why can't HE call the plumber to repair the sink? Keep the receipt and deduct it from the sale of the house and then split the proceeds between you? No, he will not do that because that would lessen his portion of the pot. Instead, he wants YOU to spend YOUR money on the repairs. But, I don't see that happening.
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The govt caregivers have just left. The first one came and I was helping her. I heard running feet outside our front porch. I quickly ran to the open door to intercept the visitor - since dad was in his bday suit and his bed is right near the door and window. I startled the 2nd govt cg who was late. It was the same cg on Tuesday. The Unhappy Camper. As usual, I greeted her with a big smile. I was sooo shocked when she smiled back! I exclaimed,"I heard someone coming and was running to block them from coming in!" Still smiling, she chucked me under my chin as she passed by!!!! I have never had anyone chuck me under my chin. And.. I'm not a child to be chucked under the chin...Later on, when I went to the restroom, I realized that I wasn't wearing my usual home clothes (Hawaiian print sleeveless dresses, $10 at Ross). Today, I didn't feel like wearing my usual home clothes. Instead, I wore my short shorts and a sleeveless Mexican-style netting cape-like covering blouse... with my purple/white headband. Tired... I think I will take a nap before cooking lunch/dinner.
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What is a chin chuck? Never heard that term. Is it a cultural thing? Is it tapping under the chin, from throat to tip? Even googled chin chuck, not a result that tells me what it is.
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{{laughing}} Yes, Glad. That's what I meant. Or would the phrase be: "she flicked a finger underneath my chin." ???
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Here it is under Google:
idioms.thefreedictionary/chuck+under+the+chin
to tap someone, as a child, lightly under the chin, as a sign of affection. He said hello to little Mary and chucked her under the chin. Please don't chuck me under ...
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Glad, if you want to practise on someone else:

turn your hand on its side, thumb uppermost
loosely curl your index finger
gently uppercut the person's chin, applying the second and third knuckles of your finger, ideally making clucking noises at the same time

If the person is over the age of three, that should irritate the heck out of them nicely...
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CM, that was soooo funny!!! You hit it right on the head - the gesture (except the clucking sound of the tongue) ...and how Irritating it was!!!
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Woke up to quite a chuckle today. I will save the chin chucks for the dofg, she loves them! Never fails I learn something new on this site daily! Never heard of a chin chuck! LOL!
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Glad, Okay, I give up. I spent like one hour reading and taking notes on that acronym thread. This way, I won't keep scrolling page after page looking for what the acronym means. I did not find what "dofg" meant. So, I went googling first those words. Nothing. Then I googled internet slang. There is a "dofl - dying on the floor laughing" but that's not dofg - dying on the floor ???
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LOL!
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I am doing all I can to stay positive. I care for my mother in law as well. She has Epilepsy, Diabetes and the beginning of Dimentia. I had to quit my job.

She is a smoker but thankfully is slowing down. She tends to have her seizures in the evenings and luckily I can be in another room until 4pm but I don't know how long that is going to last.

She has a seizure the other night outside. I hate cigerettes but have to endure the smell because if she does have a seizure outside she will drop to the concrete. Luckily I caught her and was able to carry her inside.

She had a seizure inside a store once and I swear the entire staff came over!

The worst was last night, while in a seizure sometimes she talks to me, to time she wanted me to come closer, unfortunately I did, she grabbed my hair and shoulder with such a force pushing me into her face, I couldn't get her to let go, I was so afraid. I thought I might hit her to get her to let go but I could never do that and the thought that it crossed my mind terrifies me. She took a chunk of my hair out! I had to go in the other room and cry. I called my husband and he came right home, she soothed me and drew me a bubble bath so I could distress while he sat with his mother. I am very fortunate to have him.

Food helps me distress unfortunately because her medication is expensive we have a tight budget so popcorn seems to be my only friend and I'm out.....

There isn't much relief even when I'm in another room I am constantly listening, going out every little bit to see how she is doing, offering the play games with her or go on a walk, she hates walks, but she takes one every day gearing up for two!

When I sit with her at night any twitch of her fingers and I'm looking at her.

Puppy and kitten videos help lol.

When she goes to bed is the only time to get to spend with my husband but I am so tired....I try to stay up for him.....I try so hard.......
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Book - No the guy buying the house is going to fix it. I think we are just soooo ready to get rid of this house. It is turning into an albatross around both our necks. I had no idea that the house was in suck disrepair. The guy will be also taking over the insurance. Hey, what is chucking? It does not sound very pleasant. At least she smiled at you. I hope you got rest. Take care of YOU!!!!
Veronica - Yes, I am on medication for depression. I have always had trouble with crying jags. My therapist knows of this problem and is trying to help me with it. Even my employment specialist knows about it and we are working on it. I was really feeling sorry for myself. Needless, to say it is time for me to be responsible. Like in grow up. Oh well, there is nothing I can do except to go forward VERY FAST!!!!
Anyway, things are getting better. Instead of moving into an apartment I will be moving into a extended stay hotel. The cost is not that bad and I will not have to worry about getting the lights turned on or cable. The room comes with a kitchen, tv with cable TV with free wifi. this is going to be unreal. The place where I will be living is right across the street from the storage place. I will be able to get anything I need right there. Thank you all for your posts. Take care of Ya'll.
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