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Nennie have you talked to MIL's Dr to see if there are generic alternatives to her medications or cheaper alternatives. They may be able to better control her seizures too which would allow you all to relax. If she grabs you again don'r be afraid and try to get away. Just relax beside her till she knows what is happening again. Does she have a Medicare drug plan or is she eligible for medicaid. Ask Social services to help you.
I know what you mean about smoking i hat it too but it is very difficult to give up but she is spending a lot of money which could be used for other things. If she is outside smoking go out and sit with her so you can stop her falling is she seizes. as she is diabetic the seizures are probably linked to low blood sugar in the evening. So make sure she tests in the early evening and eats something if she is low. there is usually a nurse in diabetic clinics who can advise you about this. If not see if you can talk to a nurse in your public health dept or her own Dr.
I don't know how much actual care MIL needs but it sounds as though your anxiety is at least partly responsible for your tiredness. Settle her comfortably for the evening and give her a bell to call you if she feels unwell them spend your evenings with hubby. Explain to her that you need to do this at least some eveinings. is there someone who could stay with her for the ocassional evening or week end so you and hubby can have some time away.
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Cujo at her worst last night... I deep sighed so many times, I got a head rush.... could not wait until this morning..... peace and quite..
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dad seemed more confused than normal before I took him to adult day care and tonight as he asked where his room was as he wanted to go to bed early.
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Cm - You had me laughing tonight thanks. Take care of YOU!!!!
Nennie - Thank goodness you have your husband to help you. I eat because of stress too. I like kettle corn popcorn because it is kinda sweet so you get salt thrown in there too.
LadeeM - You poor thing I am in awe of you. It seems that you are getting better at detaching from cujo. I don't know how you do it. Please take care of YOU!!!!
Well, I am just laughing my butt off. The real estate agent needed something from me. So I had to get the info and call him. He told me that the date is not set in stone yet. Something to do with the Title. I swear, bro thinks he is so smart. He isn't. He does not know what he is talking about. What really upset me about everything going on was that I will have to put up with bro through October. I just wanted to walk away from him. I think the real estate knows what is going on but is keeping his mouth shut. Bro has told him everything about me. Such as: my depression, job situation and that I am in recovery. I really am getting sick of all this. I did have a great talk with my cousin earlier. She is wonderful and was close to my mom also. She always makes me feel better. She cant stand bro. Thank you again for letting my rant. Now I am off to take a bath and go to bed. Take care of YOU ALL!!!
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Book, the funny part is that I don't remember what dofg, or was it dogf? He!!!!!
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Oh now I know, it is a typo, should just be dog! Darn tablets! LOL! She really loves those chin chucks!
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My ex used to give me 'chin chucks'.... that was my sign he was about to get stupid... pfttttt. we see how that ended.... LOL
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The thought of a chin chunk sends shivers down my spine! Get your grubby hands off me!
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You ever have one of those days when you have a lot of errands to do and you slept like like crap because the errands kept racing around in your head all night? But then, you have to wait for Mom to get up and moving before you can even leave the house... So now it's 12 noon and you still have to do the errands!!

Well it's 4:48 am and that's how I anticipate my day to go..
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Assa, just change the plans to leave at noon.... and if you get to leave earlier, then that will be a great surprise. !!!! love ya
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Ha LadeeM! She woke up early so leaving early is looking good..
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See, all things are possible if we post it here !!!!!!
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Well my vision is poor today in my left eye I have another eye appt in a couple of weeks but despite that I rototilled the veg garden and picked asparagus and strawberries before Dad got up and before the rain so thats good. hopefully the rest of the day will be productive! This day next week my sis and a friend will be here so hubby and I can leave to go out of town for the weekend to attend our godson's birthday and I CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!
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57twin, please have your eye pressure checked on a "bad" day. If glaucoma is starting, you'll need meds to manage it.
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I was checked for all of that its that I have some very large floaters on that eye that interfere with my vision. I am going to get my eyes dilated again and perhaps a specialist seen as perhaps they can be removed. This is another reason dad is moving to AL. Too stressful worrying about this and taking care of him. Ten more days.......
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Checking back in...took everyone's advice to take care of me now...went down and signed up for the "silver sneakers" program at Curves...I will be 65 Sunday and won't actually be eligible till July 1 but got the paperwork started...I hate to exercise and if I feel like I have to answer to someone I will be more likely to do it...it's a wonder the lady in charge didn't take one look at me and laugh herself sick...maybe she did after I left...oh well at least I will get these old joints moving before they all freeze up on me...must admit I look at the whole weigh and measure thing a lot like the plague...hummmm ...wonder if I can drop a 100 or so before Tuesday...LOL.
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Red, lol, no, I think they don't care !! Happy to hear you are doing this for yourself.... you will feel so much better and probably make some 'coffee' friends...... good to hear you are getting back in the world.... post more often... we need to know what's going on out there !!! lol..... hugs to you lady !
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57 - I hate those floaters. On my bad days, I swear I saw a cockroach flying on the side of my vision. I would jump in fear, heart pumping, and turn quickly to try to find it. You know how most people are afraid of spiders? Mine is cockroaches. Or, if it's night time, the floaters scare me into thinking that someone is passing me - and I'm alone in the room.

Anyway, have you checked this website? I found it very interesting on the different types of vision problems. It shows side-by-side the good vision and the problem vision. If the link below is gone, google "Types of Vision Problems" and it's under the health ny gov website.

https://www.health.ny.gov/diseases/conditions/vision_and_eye_health/types_of_vision_problems.htm
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Red - glad that you're going to include exercise into your life. Like you, I don't have the going-power to keep it up. I think, for me, the only way I would be regular is if I have a buddy system in which my partner will Pick Me Up to go and exercise. Otherwise, I will find all kinds of reasons to not go. I hope that it works for you.

I just found out today that the reason my dad's catheter came out was because my 20 year old niece and her bf were the ones who transferred grandpa back into the bed. The nurse had transferred him to the wheelchair and left. When my dad wanted to go back to the bed, it was only those 2. Bf is tall and thin. Take into account my dad's catheter is attached to his right leg, down his long slacks.. and I'm sure one of them accidentally stepped on or tangled with the urine bag. Today, the nurse came and again transferred dad to the wheelchair. My niece learned her lesson. She text me that he's on the wheelchair, the nurse is gone and grandpa wants to go back on the bed. While fave sis text her daughter to NOT move grandpa, I texted to SIL, and her 2 grown boys (live right next door) that they need help transferring him back on the bed.

When I got home, I asked niece who helped him back to the bed. She rolled her eyes and said, "There were too many cooks in the kitchen." I asked, "Huh?" And she said that uncle, aunty (bro and SIL) and their oldest boy (over 30 yrs old) were all trying to get him on the bed but they all had different ideas on HOW to do it. Niece (studying to be a nurse) rolled her eyes and said, "All we needed was one more person to just handle the urine bag while the 2 of us transferred grandpa back on the bed." {{chuckling}} Niece does hands-on nursing work at the Nursing Home.
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Husbands on vacation this week... Wish I could get on my broom and fly away with him...
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A&A me too!
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Just venting,so upset this am. I am having neck surgery july 3rd. Trying to get everything in order with mother who lives with use so husband won't be overwhelmed while I recuperate. I have been trying to lose weight because deaing with this b*tch in my house cause me to emotionally eat. I just knew I had lost at least 1lb. was going to wait till Monday to weigh, just had to do it this morning and discovered I had actually gained 1/2lb.I am just numb/crying at the same time. I try to keep up a positive appearance for my husband but I dont' even want to come out of the bedroom.Thursday I had to spend 6 hours with that cow from MD appts, trying to get px filled and driving in heavy traffic on a major highway. I am so done. Her morphine got increased and she is a happy camper this am,husband taking her to hair salon right now. I am so disgusted with myself. Before she came her , I had a great part time job, was really losing weight,feeling great and then that creature got in trouble and who does she turn to but me, the only one she has, that Narc b*tch from hell. I don't want to see her,smell her but have no choice as she lives with me now. I hate her so much and it's killing me.Just feeling really down about the weight, and I vow while I am healing from the surgery I am NOT going to lay in bed and eat.That b*tch is not going to outlive me. I can't stand to see her happy,she will just look at me and ask what's your problem. Yesterday she asked if I had had a mammogram and I told her no, stupid me thought she was concerned, NO way. She really wanted a mammogram for her 78yr old sagging boobs because she thought she felt something "but it could be my back brace".She wasn't worried about me, she was talking about herself as always, what an idiot I was to think she was worried about me.stupid stupid stupid me.
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1lb here, 1/2lb there… Tex, I don't understand. Just going for a wee will change your weight by that amount. That's not the issue, is it?

Hm. Introducing a subject by asking a question that's ostensibly about you but actually about her - what a classic.

Tex, as you said yourself, you're feeling really down. Only I don't think it's actually about the weight (that's part of it, but not the root), is it? It's the whole situation - your mother living with you, the surgery, how you're going to recuperate. And I have to say that this bit is SO UNFAIR (and it's what we do all the time) - you're the one who's ill enough to need surgery, so how come you're the one scurrying around making sure no one else will be inconvenienced by it?

Don't mind me, I'm just spitting feathers on your behalf. But meanwhile, given that there isn't time and it wouldn't be a good idea anyway to crash-diet any difference to your weight between now and Thursday, just somehow take a little time to yourself to breathe and relax. Even if it's just pick up your keys, step outside and march round the block. Do something for you. Big hug.
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TeX, is this outpatient surgery? I had sinus surgery a year ago that is normally outpatient. I told the did about the care giving responsibilities and how difficult it would be to return immediately after the surgery. He was able to get insurance approval to keep me under observation overnight so I could rest. Or another idea get doc to prescribe in home assistance for YOU! Get rest post op whatever it takes!
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Tex , that sound you hear, is me applauding loudly for your honest post !!!!! All the stress building and SHE has a problem.... my heart goes out to you.... after this surely you will consider other options for her living arrangements...what would you say to someone in your situation????? Get her the hell out of there before you loose your mind.....
WE care about your surgery and the pain and adjustments you will have to make... WE care that you are feeling so bad about your weight..... WE care that she is bringing out these feelings in you.... and WE care that you are so upset...... get this surgery behind you, and while in bed..... get a pen and paper and make a list of things that are going to CHANGE.... make the choice to pick one thing on that list and give it all your effort.... I feel so bad for you..... and I truly appreciate your honesty.... this is how I get angry.... so I TOTALLY understand.... you are not alone..... sending you lots of hugs this morning.....and prayers for change......
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Thanks you guys! I needed to hear this. It's just that so much depends on me around here. My husband has already had a cervical and lumbar laminectiomy years ago and he is now 58 with type 2 dm. If she gets sick while I am recuperating I told him just call 911 because she has better health insurance than God and the Pope together( don't mean to offend any catholics,I'm just mad so please forgive me).If nothing else, she is not going to outlive me. I showed some video of my living circumstances at home with my therapist and she thinks my mother is being treated like a princess. I overcompensate taking care of her because I hate her so much. At this point I want her mind to stay intact so I can watch her deteriorate over the years,so she knows it.She will get the best of care because I want her to see me thrive while she decays due to age.It will burn her up inside to see me thrive,lose weight, start seeing my friends again. We are blessed enough that I can pay caregivers to sit at her bed so she can see me walk by her door to live my life. This woman ripped my heart out when I was 16yrs. old and again when I was 20 she literally walked away from me when I told her I had been raped and contracted a VD from it, as soon as I told her she got up from the table and went to clean her toilet I had just used and never came back to where I was sitting at the kitchen table. I don't really remember driving back to my apt 2 hours away.Didn't call me for 3 weeks when she usually called about every day and when she finally did never asked how was I ,nothing about what I told her , it was all about her.My heart or any love for her died that day. I take care of her because I am not a monster like her.
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Thanks you guys! I needed to hear this. It's just that so much depends on me around here. My husband has already had a cervical and lumbar laminectiomy years ago and he is now 58 with type 2 dm. If she gets sick while I am recuperating I told him just call 911 because she has better health insurance than God and the Pope together( don't mean to offend any catholics,I'm just mad so please forgive me).If nothing else, she is not going to outlive me. I showed some video of my living circumstances at home with my therapist and she thinks my mother is being treated like a princess. I overcompensate taking care of her because I hate her so much. At this point I want her mind to stay intact so I can watch her deteriorate over the years,so she knows it.She will get the best of care because I want her to see me thrive while she decays due to age.It will burn her up inside to see me thrive,lose weight, start seeing my friends again. We are blessed enough that I can pay caregivers to sit at her bed so she can see me walk by her door to live my life. This woman ripped my heart out when I was 16yrs. old and again when I was 20 she literally walked away from me when I told her I had been raped and contracted a VD from it, as soon as I told her she got up from the table and went to clean her toilet I had just used and never came back to where I was sitting at the kitchen table. I don't really remember driving back to my apt 2 hours away.Didn't call me for 3 weeks when she usually called about every day and when she finally did never asked how was I ,nothing about what I told her , it was all about her.My heart or any love for her died that day. I take care of her because I am not a monster like her.
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Tex I am so sorry you have been stuck with mother. Face up to the fact you can't get rid of her before Thursday. I know how I would have felt had I been put in your position.
Not knowing what your surgery is can't guess how much recuperation you will need or how your finances are. I am assuming it is something as severe as work on your spine. Typically this needs an overnight stay but may still be may be classified as outpatient . Call your surgeons office and ask if there is any way you can be sent to rehab for a few days. also call your insurance and explain your situation to see if you qualify for any kind of care. The way you are feeling you need to be out of the house for at least a week. If my guess about the sugery is correct you will have some pain which will be well contoled with the meds they will prescribe but a little TLC would be in order. Is there anyone you can stay with for a few days. You should not need them to be home or really do anything for you. As long as they can provide an evening meal you can get yourself a bowl of cereal and coffee for breakfast and a sandwich for lunch. after a night or two at home you could even go to a hotel. You are just so upset with this miserable woman at the moment home is not the place to be. However good hubby is at taking care of you she is going to find ways of making your life hell. That is unless your house has five floors, your room is on the top and she can't climb stairs. Even so she will do something I guarentee it. Just being under the same roof will stress you as you are on your last nerve right now.
Have you had surgery before? I can tell you are very anxious but i dread the dentist the most. As long as they put me out I am a happy camper. The nurses will be very kind and take extremely good care of you, they are experts at their jobs in this area. The worst part is usually having the IV set up after that relax and enjoy the ride.
Once this is over get that woman out of your house you can't care for her for the rest of her life or feeling the way you do the rest of yours.
Do something good for your self between now and Thurday, get your hair done,restyled some color added and have your nails done but no color anesthesiologist won't allow that.
Now stop panicing, make a list and plan a nice easy dinner tonight. On Monday make that appt for Mother's mamo that will give her something to obscess about.
Even sagging 78 year old boobs need to be flattened every 2 yrs. Medicare covers the full cost of that. And be careful what you say about old boobs on this forum many of us here look with disbelief at what remains or our perky breasts as we try and corral them into a bra each morning. Big or small they take on a life of their own. Try and feel better and stop worrying Tex we all wish you the best many many Hugs.
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Tex you are in an impossible situation and your only way is GET HER OUT before you are seriously ill or worse! I was in your shoes for four years of h*ll caring for my narc mother, totally trapped until she went into a nursing home. In my darkest days I considered suicide as the only way to escape from her. Even after she went into the NH, the daily screaming phone calls made me so ill, shaky, hair falling out, bloody poop etc., I had a black out, changed my phone number, went low contact - literally went into hiding. One of the NH staff told me that, if I hadn't taken those actions, I'd be dead by now. Something to think about! What is more important? You, your hubby and family or Her Evil Royal Pain in the *ss Narciness?

These days my mother is mostly out of it and sleeps pretty much 24/7. I visit about once a week and she's so frail and weak she doesn't have the strength to be nasty. If she starts, I leave and as she has no other visitors (ran friends off years ago) she's learning to mind her mouth.

It's been several months since I took the ultimate stand and I'm recovering slowly. I will never be the same as I was once, all I can do is try to rebuild my life one step at a time, but I'll never be totally free until she dies (good riddance!). I now live out in the country in a dilapidated cottage, which I'm gradually fixing up, on 2 acres with my beloved dogs and cats. Getting things in place on the land to grow my own fruit & veg and keep poultry, leading a simpler lifestyle, It's so very quiet here and that has helped in my healing. I've thought of doing some volunteer work - maybe in the future as, for now, I prefer to have little to do with humans.

I'm rambling but, bottom line, you have to get Mommie Dearest out of your house pronto! NH, AL or whatever it takes. You must do this before you drop dead, then where would your hubby and family be? Should you drop dead what will Mommie Dearest say? Probably the same thing mine said "What happens to me if something happens to you?" Never mind I may be seriously injured or dead! Narc b*tch, but she's been that way since I was a small child. These days I pay her bills and see she has all she needs but, emotionally, I'm dead inside, she's just a duty.

Please make plans to get rid of her, for your sake and hubby's. We care about you and what happens to you! Hang in there kiddo!
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Tex... I truly hope you rethink continuing to care for her.... the sad and angry truth is, you will not penetrate her wall of selfishness... never.... and what a horrible way for a mother to treat a daughter that has been raped..... you know what your best revenge would be... placing her, and then no contact.... she wouldn't know how you are doing, that you lost weight and had friends..... she wouldn't ever be able to steal your joy again...... now THAT is revenge... removing yourself from being her target... she will always be able to upset you, you will never upset her.... that 's the truth.... while I see what your intentions are here.... you will not get what you want in the end.....the best revenge is being happy, joyous and free.... keep us updated on your surgery.... and I appreciate that you shared with us, that took a lot of power from her.... now that is winning..... sending you hugs....
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