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Lav - Run don't walk to the bank and cash that check. At the very least keep the money until you are all settled in your new place and have a job decide then whether or not you want to tell bro about it. We used to have a train set too. Check the value of those items before getting rid of them because some of them are valuable. Even if bro says they are worthless check them out yourself and keep the money if you find they are of any value. Glad you made some progress with the house.
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Tex, my dad before his stroke, would give any kind of information to anyone over the phone. One day, I was balancing his checkbook and saw this unknown charge. My dad did not know what it was. He just remembered someone calling and asking him about something and he INSISTED he did NOT give the person his bank account number. I tried repeatedly over and over before this incident about NOT giving out any information over the phone - no full name, no DOB, no mailing address - NOTHING. When this incident happened, he called the bank. The nice lady told him that we both need to go to the bank and fill out a form on this Automatic Monthly Deduction of some kind of magazine he ordered - which he insist he did not. When we arrived at the bank, the nice bank lady (pretty, too) explained to him why he must never ever give any information over the phone. My dad took to heart what he would not from me. Since then, he would not give any info. He will tell them to come to our house in person and he will give it to them. sigh... Well, it's a good thing we live in an island that is too expensive for a stranger to hop on the plane to get my dad's banking information.

Judda - that is the same with our cockroaches. I swear, I killed the darn cockroach with a smack. And when I pick up the object, the roach is on it's back or squashed to the floor - Not Moving. I use the object to move the roach. NO Movement. Okay, the roach is dead. I leave and come back with the broom and tall dustpan. The roach is gone!!!! Ours plays dead. When the coast is clear, it gets up and runs. I hate those bugs!!!!

Lav, I'd keep the money. I'd photocopy it, and the deposit slip - and then don't touch it. When all the dust have been settled, and all of your mom's bills have stopped coming in, and you still have left over money, then I'll keep it. Some of my mom's bills came in after she died.
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Red I love the idea of that hair growing helmet. I think everyone should order one for their narsisistic mothers & make them compulsary headgear for every waking hour then every time they make a nasty comment plug them into the nearest outset. i picture it like a collander with tufts of hair sticking out of all the holes.
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My Goal - to answer at least 5 questions every day on this site.
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Judd... My mother would have done the same thing... nothing phases them... I never thought I could reach such deep depths (of depression)... Hanging on barely... seeing a counselor...
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Missing Stu and Gene so much today, hard to catch my breath.
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ladeeM Stu and Gene will always be in your heart. You made such a difference in their lives in the short time you were privaledged to know them. They would not want you to feel so bad. Try and remember them with love and the good times you had together. Many Hugs and chocolate
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Veronica.... yes to all the above, just really missing both of them so much today.... just never have any damned time to grieve..... thanks for the hugs and chocolate.... love ya and thanks.....
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Ladee.-.. {{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}
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For those caregivers in California, I hope you're keeping up with the news. California has a strong tenant-rentor law. A couple hired a nanny via Craiglist (go figure!! with eyes rolling). A Live-In caregiver. After a few weeks, she basically stopped babysitting the 3 kids and stayed in her bedroom. The couple fired her. She refused to leave. So they called the police. Nothing they can do - it is a civil suit not criminal. It seems with California, if you live in a home/apartment over 30 days, you (the tenant) cannot be evicted without an eviction notice - and time to find another place. BUT, they say that this can drag on for months.

Moral of the story? Don't hire any caregiver to live in your home without checking what your local/state law says about this. Similar to that stupid Squatter's Rights. A man was deployed by the military for several months. When he returned, the person he asked to keep an eye on his house - had moved in. The so-called friend refused to leave. He called the police, nothing they can do. Squatter's Rights. The same happened to a family who came to their summer vacation home and found vagrants had moved in. Can you believe that they cannot call the police to kick them out???? I erased twice the sentence on what I thought about THAT.
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Tex.... is today your surgery???? Prayers that things go well, the problem is fixed and you get to heal without having to string barbed wire and get some monkeys with machine guns......
Let me know if today is the day.. will answer your question about Stu and Gene on here later...... sending you hugs....

Thanks for the hugs Book... I always appreciate hugs from you..... and backatcha....
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Book...we live in California...that idiotic law is only a small drop in the bucket...you would not believe some of the junk they dream up in Sacramento.
Now if a boy student decides he wants to be a girl he can start using the girls restroom at school and they can't stop him because it would infringe on his/her rights...it's getting crazier all the time.
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Don't think he has to do anything to show that he's trying to actually transition to being a female...just decide he wants to be with the girls...the girls by the way don't have the right to any privacy apparently?????????????????
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Red, absurd, I don't know why so many people stay in CA! They do seem to be the leader in social change. I think the school should allow these students to use the teachers restroom, not the girls or boys, or whatever. At least here, teachers have separate bathrooms, not always multiple stalls. Or maybe the restroom in the nurse's office?
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Well, my neck surgery is Thursday. I am starting to think that instead of driving myself crazy trying to clean and organize so my husband and mother don't have to do ANYTHING, I will just do the basics. Most important thing today is to get a farrier for my horses, especially the pony, this wet weather has been hell on their feet.Husband just got back from Walmart( god it is so hot and humid) he bought enough groceries for the next 2 months, bless him. The heat is really hard on him. I will have all of mother's meds made up for at least the next 7 days. Pain meds are taken care of . It supposed be a day surgery deal but I think I will ask for overnight and I don't think that will be a problem. I think my husband can handle mother for 1 night,he is an old retired ICU nurse,doesn't put up with her cr*p.All I want when I get home is a clean bed to lay down in and that old battle ax better not bother me. If she has any complaints my only answer will be to tell husband call 911 and send her to the nearest ER and they can play with her. I have to get well.
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Good luck Tex! "Old battle axe" ... thanks for the giggle!
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Well Tex if hubby is a retired ICU nurse he should have no problems after all he will only have two patient , one who is complient and behaves herself and the other........well only time will tell on that one but it sounds as though she wont get far with her SIL. Hugs and good luck any way we will all be rooting for you
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Actually my biggest worry is getting a farrier this close to holiday. My little pony really needs a trim and my usual farrier has suddenly become unavailable.
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Tex aren't farriers the absolute biggest pain in the butt. One old pony that can wait I've just got a whole new barn, then back they come with their tail between their legs because the new barn only wanted them to do the work horse stallion because the regular farrier was afraid of him. Been there done that. I once had a barn with 20 boarders and school horses and did that for about 15 years till I got too old and went back to nursing. had to take the NCLEX again ha ha
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It is the same in NYS Book. total nightmare
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Tex.... Stu and Gene were the father and son of the family I took care of before MrM and Cujo... Stu and I became very close, he was only 58 and had cancer... Gene... the father, was a lot of work, but he had my heart... long story as to why I quit that job... but the family knew I wanted to be notified if Gene was dying...they didn't bother..... I did not get to tell him bye.... but I do have some awesome memories of both of them.... but will also say that whole mess with C broke me..... part of the reason I want out of caregiving.... so it's a mixed bag of emotions going on ...... and thanks for asking..... it's not being nosy, it's how people get to know each other...

Now that I know about hubby, I wouldn't worry about anything.... just get well after your surgery.....hope you get the chance to update us when you get home.... we'll be praying and thinking about you..... hugs
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I used to do private home care and sometimes no matter how professional you are you can't help but get close to some of these patients. I was shown family photos and heard stories from them that I believe their own families were tired of hearing but it was their life's story.Took care of a lot of old WW 2 vets-WOW! the pictures and the stories that went with them.So many vets don't get the appreciation they should.Those guys were lucky to have you. Heard to many horror stories of home care aides. My people always like me because I would do things I didn't have to like laundry just because I was bored once I got them settled down, didn't cook though,that would have been patient abuse with my level of cooking.Stayed out of the family dramas unless I felt my patient was threatened and made sure everyone knew I would have no problem calling Adult protective services,job be d*mned.Take care of yourself, keep you updated on my surgery , actually hope to come home that day,would just feel better at home with my dogs.Mom ,however,husband and I have had a come to Jesus meeting with her about her behavior.Right now she is very "nice" don't know how long that will last but made it clear that she better hope I do well or her standard of living will change meaning that my husband can't be the sole caregiver for her if something happens to me and she will have to go a AL or a nursing home.So she is being a real good girl right now. She has NPD also very passive aggressive. I showed my therapist some video of her living conditions with us, her room, her little art studio downstairs, my friend that helps with cleaning and my therapist told me to quit feeling so guilty ,that she though my mom was living like a princess.Made me feel better, I have a lot of guilt where mother is concerned because basically I don't like her, lots of abusive emotional history between us,. I am an only child and so is she and she had no where to go once she could no longer live alone, has sever OA and is on 180 mg morphine a day, doesn't knock her out, keeps her moving,have her 2 little dogs her,like them more than her.Just trying not to get all wound up over this surgery , I didn't get this nervous when my back surgery was done last Nov. Don't know why my neck would make me more nervouse?
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Tex... because your neck keeps your head from spinning out of control when mom upsets you !!!! Then she would get the satisfaction of seeing how upset you are !!! hugs
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50/50 today...
My mom called me a b*tch last night and it has been sticking with me today. Five minutes after dinner she asked for a snack and I told her not right now. She got mad and called me a b*tch. Didn't talk to me again until this morning when she asked if it was going to be breakfast anytime soon. I did give her a snack last night with meds but didn't talk to her. She thanked me. I have been cutting her slack for many other things this past week since she has a UTI but there was no call for that and she knew what she said. I just want to live by myself.

I have not found a house for us to rent yet. The lease is up at the end of the month. Looks like I will have to put things in one of those pod storage containers and stay in a hotel until I find a place. That is not going to be good for my mom. At least I don't have to worry anymore about how this place looks as I think they have it rented. I have to find someone that will help me load the truck too.

I think I'm going to find a movie or something to watch tonight to distract me. Usually I walk during the day but the weather is to humid.
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Hang in there Shilo.... is it a full moon yet??? Cujo takes her clothes off at night and drapes them over the foot of the bed.... since she has been getting up and dressed half the night, I either put them in the dirty clothes or hide them... forgot last night , heard something, went to check... she had managed to get to the closet, without her walker, and was hanging up her slacks !!!!! Finally convinced her to go back to bed and hid her blouse.... she slept for the rest of the night.... first time in two weeks...... I get so tired of being 'creative' !!!!
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I had some free time to fill before I picked dad up yesterday ftom adult day care as it didnt make sense to drive all the way home to come back to town. Needed to turn left but that lane was blocked due to disabled truck so I was stopped and got rear ended! Just a tap so I was neAr the dealership where I got my car so we drove there.
Didnt call police a mistake? Damage to my car a bit over $500. women driving much older car so either no insurance or didnt want to use her insurance. Grrrrrrrr........will contact my agent this morning after dropping dad off to see how to proceed. My neck and lower back a bit tweaked but that is due to dragging dads dresser around at his new place. and sleeping on sofa due to hubby snoring.
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57, be careful, injuries from rear ending can take a while to show up. Hopefully the woman was an honest sort. And that she was older didn't want to use insurance, makes me wonder... Is she under suspension? Or under order of revocation with one more accident? Is she being monitored by children or DMV?
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Vegaslady
Call Adult Protective Services to go in to assess the living situation of your parents. This needs to be done immediately or you could lose your POA, even if you're the one living near by. This is a free service & if you're who calls them, they'll let you know if they find any problems. Then at least you'll know what you're dealing with from an unbiased party.
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I was involved in a rear end collision about 20 years ago ended up with 6-8 weeks pt for my neck while that time my vehicle had little damage the other guys vehicle had quite a bit. no neck stiffness thankfully this time.
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Tex....tomorrow is the big day.... know we are thinking of you, praying for successful surgery, and healing.... I really hope you do as you are told.... nurses are the worst patients .... pretend you are on vacation.... and your neck hurts for looking at all the good looking men on the beach..... keep your Cujo away from you(Cujo is what I call the lady I take care of) and sleep and read and watch movies.... and sleep some more..... we'll be thinking of you....prayers... and hugs
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