This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Judda - that is the same with our cockroaches. I swear, I killed the darn cockroach with a smack. And when I pick up the object, the roach is on it's back or squashed to the floor - Not Moving. I use the object to move the roach. NO Movement. Okay, the roach is dead. I leave and come back with the broom and tall dustpan. The roach is gone!!!! Ours plays dead. When the coast is clear, it gets up and runs. I hate those bugs!!!!
Lav, I'd keep the money. I'd photocopy it, and the deposit slip - and then don't touch it. When all the dust have been settled, and all of your mom's bills have stopped coming in, and you still have left over money, then I'll keep it. Some of my mom's bills came in after she died.
Moral of the story? Don't hire any caregiver to live in your home without checking what your local/state law says about this. Similar to that stupid Squatter's Rights. A man was deployed by the military for several months. When he returned, the person he asked to keep an eye on his house - had moved in. The so-called friend refused to leave. He called the police, nothing they can do. Squatter's Rights. The same happened to a family who came to their summer vacation home and found vagrants had moved in. Can you believe that they cannot call the police to kick them out???? I erased twice the sentence on what I thought about THAT.
Let me know if today is the day.. will answer your question about Stu and Gene on here later...... sending you hugs....
Thanks for the hugs Book... I always appreciate hugs from you..... and backatcha....
Now if a boy student decides he wants to be a girl he can start using the girls restroom at school and they can't stop him because it would infringe on his/her rights...it's getting crazier all the time.
Now that I know about hubby, I wouldn't worry about anything.... just get well after your surgery.....hope you get the chance to update us when you get home.... we'll be praying and thinking about you..... hugs
My mom called me a b*tch last night and it has been sticking with me today. Five minutes after dinner she asked for a snack and I told her not right now. She got mad and called me a b*tch. Didn't talk to me again until this morning when she asked if it was going to be breakfast anytime soon. I did give her a snack last night with meds but didn't talk to her. She thanked me. I have been cutting her slack for many other things this past week since she has a UTI but there was no call for that and she knew what she said. I just want to live by myself.
I have not found a house for us to rent yet. The lease is up at the end of the month. Looks like I will have to put things in one of those pod storage containers and stay in a hotel until I find a place. That is not going to be good for my mom. At least I don't have to worry anymore about how this place looks as I think they have it rented. I have to find someone that will help me load the truck too.
I think I'm going to find a movie or something to watch tonight to distract me. Usually I walk during the day but the weather is to humid.
Didnt call police a mistake? Damage to my car a bit over $500. women driving much older car so either no insurance or didnt want to use her insurance. Grrrrrrrr........will contact my agent this morning after dropping dad off to see how to proceed. My neck and lower back a bit tweaked but that is due to dragging dads dresser around at his new place. and sleeping on sofa due to hubby snoring.
Call Adult Protective Services to go in to assess the living situation of your parents. This needs to be done immediately or you could lose your POA, even if you're the one living near by. This is a free service & if you're who calls them, they'll let you know if they find any problems. Then at least you'll know what you're dealing with from an unbiased party.