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Congratulations Lav that is a huge load off your shoulders. Can you deduct the money bro owes you and just return the balance to him?
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I just wanted to let everyone know that my husband has really stepped up to the plate since my neck surgery. He is doing a great job with mom and me and making this postop experience not so bad. I try to thank him as much as possible but he has been a real gentleman about this.Also he is a fantastic cook so for all my b*tching at times I am very lucky to have him helping me.Of course as soon as the pain meds wear off I will be back to kicking his b*tt LOL! As he has found out about all the "little" things I have doing since right now I can't do them I am finding out about all the "little" things he has been doing since all I can do is eat and stay in bed. Thankfully my mother loves him. Summers are hard for him, he is type 2 dm, overweight, deaf with one hearing aid that as soon as he sweats which is frequently will short out. He is also having to clean up after our 8 little dogs, feed me and mom, grocery shop, will stop what he is doing as soon as a food request from mom or me is made, he is a great short order cook.He washes the clothes and only puts out things like towels for me to fold because I do need to move around.He isn't always an angel but for now he is mine and we will have been married 28yrs come this August 30th.Think I'll keep him awhile longer at least until I want another toasted ham and cheese sandwich cut diagonally like I want it.
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Hey, Lucky Lady Tex! Best wishes healing from the surgery.
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I have had time to reread some of my posts from when I first came to this site. I am such a whiny *ss little b*tch. There are people on here who handle situations everyday with no relief insight that I don't think I possibly could have handled without a SWAT team being called. The amount of personal strength from the stories from people who belittle themselves thinking they don't do enough makes me ashamed . I am not catholic but I would light up thousands of candles for all you, is that what you do, I don't know , I was raised Baptist and I'm not very good at that, but I would light them out of respect and awe at what people on here do every day with no thanks or even a pat on the back.
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Hi everyone - thank you for all your well wishes. Well, I just get half of every thing. A check will be cut in my name only. I cannot deduct anything from his share and he cannot take anything from mine. I will be handling things from this point on. SIL did not want me to make sure the house is clean or anything like that. That is not me. I will clean this house to my best ability for these people. I am also leaving my electric juicer so they can use it for the oranges to come in the fall. We have a huge navel orange tree. I planted fruit spikes so they should be good this year. Take care everyone. Busy busy busy.
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Hey tex - Does hubby cut the crust off the bread too. LOL that is great!! Do you know where I can find a hubby like that. Take care of YOU!!!
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No, I like the crust. Don't get me wrong, he ain't perfect. can be a real *ss sometimes , but during crunch times like this he gets his sh*t together. We started off as friends at work and worked some really stressful shifts together in high stress fields, ICU and OR.Also it's taken me 28 yrs of training to get him to this level of care LOL. Used to b*tch about him throwing his underwear on the floor and not putting it in the dirty laundry, eventually he just started going commando with it, oh well, pick your battles, it was that much less laundry to do.
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Tex, don't feel so bad. I think a lot of us started off on the wrong foot. When I found this site, I was fascinated with this ongoing thread about a daughter trying to get her mother out of her home and to another place. By the time I read to the current date, I just jumped in with my own issues because I got to "know" the posters. I was gently told how to start my own discussion. I did. I cringe now that I had the faux pas to have done that. But, I was at a critical time of my life. I do believe after that, I started posting all over the this site, letting out all that I kept within - the anger, the bitterness, the hatred, etc.. towards life, siblings, God, etc... But it wasn't all one-sided. Just as others helped me, I also helped others. Even if it's just to say that I KNOW what they're going through. I saw your thread but didn't read it. I'm just sooo behind on this site.

I slept so well, I woke up with stiff joints - specifically my neck. I had to do some quick stretches with lots of joints popping left and right (parts of my body) - shoulders, elbow, neck, etc... I just don't know if it's arthritis or osteo. I hope no bad headaches because I have a lot of shopping to do this afternoon - for the house. I got a whole list of things to buy. And darn it, an order I'm expecting came in to our Post office at 10am on Monday. No yellowslip. I had to go online to see when it arrived. So, like a previous order of mine, I printed the tracking number and the page that said it arrived at my PO. Last time this happened, the PO said if there's no yellow slip, then there's no pkg. I showed them the printed tracking info, it took him a long time to find my package. It was in the PO for almost a week - which would automatically be sent back if I hadn't insisted it was here. This has happened to me so many times - my orders sent back to the company. Thank goodness for tracking options!!!
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Tex - have you ever thought of putting a mini basketball net over a laundry bin and the that way hubby can shooting his underwear into the basket. LOL Take care of YOU!!!
Book - I hope that your shoulder and neck get better. Glad you did a have a good rest though. Yes, I love those tracking options too. A lot of time they will just leave the package here even when I am not home I hate that. take care of YOU!!!!
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It was a good I emailed the director of dad's place to let her know what happened last night so she is in the loop. he said he was enjoying himself today a a lady resident just down his hallway is taking him under her wing. Big load off my mind as I slept terrible last night.
Did have a day of sight seeing and shopping today which was fun until I slipped on gravel on skinned my knee really bad :(. Going to see dad tomorrow morning though.
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57 - Oh no!!! Don't you hate when those kind of things happen especially when you are having a good time. Wow, your father already has a lady. Boy, that was fast. I hope that you can sleep better tonight. Take care of YOU!!!
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57 - glad that everything is good now. That your father has found a friend and now the place is not so bad (in his eyes.)

Lav - yep, my package was here. I showed the clerk my printout. She read it stating that it had arrived and was ready for pick up on the 7th. She took my printout and went to the back. Took her a while, but she came back with it. Yep, I definitely like these tracking options! I kept the Tylenol on my desk - just seeing it helped me to ignore my pain - that if it got so bad, I can take the pill. I didn't need to take it when I left work. Sometimes, it's really mind over matter. Just knowing that I have the option to take it or not.
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Tex when I order stuff it now arrives by what they call "smart post" fed x delivers it to the PO them the mail person brings it with the regular which in our case when she gets round to it. She stuffs everything she possibly can squeeze into the box to save the few steps to the door. She's really idle that one - have known her for years in other lives.
Tex have you seen a neurologist for your neck? There is a lot they can do now.
By the way two two main types of arthritis osteo and rheumatic. I think yours is probably osteo as rheumatic is an auto immune disease.
Tex I wish I could have borrowed your husband mine basically ignored me after surgery. I was having to struggle with a walker and carry a cup of tea. My PCG told me Drs make very bad nurses I guess she had personal experience as she was married to one.
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Sorry Tex the first part of my post was for Book, You only get the last paragraph - haven't plugged all the leads into my brain yet.
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Veronica, neurologist? I can change my doctor to a female doctor that I had before. She was a very thorough doc. The only problem is that because she's thorough, she doesn't follow that 15-min. per patient rule. If I wanted to have an appointment for her, I would need to get the rest of the afternoon off. I remembered being so shocked that she spent a while with me. Not in a hurry like the others. She was a brand new doctor. Gungho, etc.... That was about 5 years ago. I wonder if she's still gungho?
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Lavender, I am so happy for you also. Shirley, I will be here when you need me also. Just struggling along and doing the best I can with my Mom and my husband. I keep telling myself this. I'm also trying to take care of me! Caregivers are the hidden heroes! Love to all! I never seem to get enough sleep! Ha ha
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Book it sounds as though your headaches come from pinched spinal nerves and a neurologist can do special nerve testing plus CT Scans and if needed MRIs to see how bad the arthritis is in your neck. If they can isolate a nerve they can put it out of action and permanently erase the pain. Now don't start panicing just go and find out anything they do to you will be far less painful than your headaches. of course you could always ask your boss to recommend a Chinese acupuncturist. you do need a specialist for this.
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Veronica, I will take your advice into consideration. My next follow-up doctor's appt is Sept. I might as well start a pain journal.

I spent hours googling Lipitor and COQ-10. I was reading Reader's Digest when an article was written by a doctor that does traditional treatments differently. For her patients, when she prescribes Statins (includes my Lipitor), she also said that it may drop the cholest by 50% (like mine did on the first 3 months), but it also has undesirable side effects (muscle weakness, fatigue, MEMORY problems, increase risk of other serious diseases like diabetes. So, she also recommends to her patients to take COQ-10.

So, I went and googled. I don't like what I'm reading about the Lipitor. And my doctor Increased my dosage!! I was going to take the lipitor today. I decided not to. I will take it every other day - since doc raised it from 10mg to 20mg. I could go and get a pill cutter and cut it in half, take one each day. Or I take it every other day.

I took the COQ-10, 50mg, tonight after dinner. No lipitor, just the COQ. Oh my, I got a sudden pounding headache that came out of nowhere. I think it might be the COQ. I will test it again tomorrow after dinner to see if I get same reactions.

Today, I actually got to work 2 minutes before opening hours. Most times, in the past 20 years, I always arrive 5-15 minutes Late. I moved up my alarm to 615am. Dad will only move when at his rate - and not mine. So, I need more time to change his pamper.

Lastnight, I went back to eating oatmeal at night. I added the walnuts and almonds. This morning, I had cleared up most of anything that was inside my intestines or whatever you call it.

Veronica, if I ever need to do any surgery regarding my nerves, I'm going off-island! I am not doing it here. I might come out of the hospital worse than when I went in. Later... time to do dad's....
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Oh, about the bowel stuff.. I was getting constipated. I hate that when it happens! I really need to start drinking more water. But for anyone who struggles with it, oatmeal+walnut+almonds works for me - very very well.. It might work for you.
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. This will be a little long but a cautionary story for those that take pain meds.This is even move embarrassing as I am a nurse and look what I did to myself. You know I had neck surgery on July 3rd, by the 5th no BM so I started increase on water, moving more, more fiber, too late.. By the evening of this Tues I got the great I idea I'll just take 3 big soup spoon full of castor oil. 30 minutes later I thought my abdomen would explode.Now this is about 2200 at nite, I have all the lites on in the house looking for enemas and found only 3, used all of them. By the time I found the 3rd one my poor husband woke up, not from my screaming in agony, he just had to go to the bathroom, he is deaf and once he takes his hearing aids out he is really deaf. Bless his heart, he is an old nurse, he heated up the 3rd enema which was mineral oil.This worked enough to give some relief and save a trip to the ER. I could not believe what I had done to myself.This is worse because I do know better and look what I did. My mother who is on 180 mg morphine for her OA that this was hilarious although I can't blame her, I keep her on a every 24hr. bm program I am so afraid of her getting constipated but look what I did to myself.Wed, I ran a low grade fever, ate only clear liquids, took no pain meds and my neck was hurting. Today I am better but I am hurling my entire arsenal of anticonstipation meds at myself.I though it funny Book mentioned constipation so I though I would share my embarrassing and (icky) situation as a cautionary tale to those that are on pain meds or about to take them. Pain meds are needed, I had extensive neck surgery with bone grafts and some metal implants, they were needed but they are also a 2 edge sword. I should have started anticonstipation methods prior to leaving this hospital where I was on a morpine pump, they never did ask me if I had a bm before discharge and I was eating so that food was going somewhere, but I was still hurting and wanting to go home so bad I didn't bring up the subject.So,lesson for today, even someone who should know better doesn't always practice what they preach and pay the price. I do feel better now and looking back it was kind of funny, but that pain was right up their with kidney stone pain and I have had 5 kidney stones in my past.Late yesterday my husband went to the local Piggly Wiggly and came back with a bag full of different enemas, dulcolax suppositories, hemmorhoid cream, god only knows what the checkout person though, this is a small town so everyone in this county probably knows someone at this address is very constipated. I have seen people die from constipation because there bowel literally exploded and all those contents went into their abdomen and caused peritonitis and they quickly became septic and all the antibiotics couldn't save them , from something as simple as being "constipated".Take it seriously. Take pain meds if you need them but also make sure you are already taking something to prevent constipation,just remember my story, chuckle if you must,I am glad I lived to tell the tale and if it even prevents one person from going thru what I did it was worth it. If a very experienced nurse can do something this stupid to herself it can happen to anybody,just makes it worse because I knew better.
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Tex thanks for sharing, it is a good cautionary tale. the other side of that coin is that the nurses in the hosptal should also have instructed you about bowel care when taking narcotics but that rarely happens. My orthopedic suggeon is very vigilant about that he prescribes a daily stool softener and makes sure everything is working before he lets you go home, listens to you belly daily to make sure bowel sounds are present. I know you were only in one night but this should have been in your post op instructions.
This was one of our biggest problems with hospice patients. i can not count the number of manual evacuations I have performed. I guess you weren't about to ask your husband to do that. Don't worry about the neighbors they will think everything was for your mother, bless her narcisistic little cotton socks! Well now you know so add something like Metamucil till you are off the narcs. Sorry preaching to the choir again but when nurses become patients we take on a whole different personality
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Wow, Tex -- glad you're feeling better! I learn something new on this site every day! Thank you for the info :)
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Book I also have neurologist and she spends a long time with me also. She is so good. My primary doctor is the same way and my mom has her also. I just went to her on Wednesday and started to cry. I also agree we are hidden heroes.My husband lives in Arkansas with my daughter and her husband and kidds. They want me there. Why dont they understand they wan t me there. Families just dont understand what a caregiver does. At least my side of teh family wants me to put my motehr in a home and her doctor as well as mine says she is fine, what do you expect for 91 year old person We aret he ones being punished by our families and and not being appreciated for what we are doing. It makes me so mad. My doctor said pami your husband made a choiced and decided to taake care of your mom. Soi enjoy her as long as you have her and sloth of everyone else. You are doing the right thing. She take care of yourself you are important. We all must remember that. You all have helped me so much. Thanks Tex for that information, sometimes I take aleve for my back pain and do have to be careful not to take too much. You can get constipated. Book I heard that liptor is dangerous have you tried a diet first and exercise. That is what I am going to do first If my numbers are bad. I will find out tomorrow. I am already doing a diet for cholesterol. I will not take liptor for anything..Veronica I wish my husband was here. It seems some of them dont want to bother with us , because we have problems. The marriage vows say in sickness and in health. Pami
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I know it's kind of an embarrassing subject,CONSTIPATION. but it can literally kill you, no joke.Easy to prevent, but once it is entrenched, excuse the pun, sometimes surgery has to be performed to remove the obstruction, which means you are exposed to the dangers or general anesthesia, infection,ect just from constipation.Also it's not just the elderly that this happens to. The only comnplaint I would have with the hospital was that since I was on a morphine pump and using it, also eating a regular diet , no one asked if I had had a bm, I think they assumed since I was nurse I would have said something, but I was out of it on morphine, also at the time I was a patient, not a nurse. I was on 1 mg morphine every 6 minutes and I used it so that meant I was getting 10mg morphine an hour for at least 24 hrs and sent home on Lortab. Also I had my surgery July 3d. Won't be scheduling anymore elective surgery near a major holiday again, I also think that had something to do with it. The nurse I had probably had an extra number of patients because so many other staff had the holiday off.All in all quite a learning experience.
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Tex...hope by the time this is posted you have found some relief...I know how painful that can be...Book be careful of the coQ10...doctor wanted me to take that and I had the worst muscle cramps I've ever had in my life...and in weird places...I would wake up bellowing in pain because the muscle that runs up the inside of my thigh was trying to make me develop another joint in the middle of my thigh...If I'd had one I'm sure my own foot would have ended up where the sun doesn't shine...they said the stuff was supposed to be good my my heart...which is a muscle, right?..Also the muscle that goes from the back of my head down to my neck...pain was almost blinding...stopped taking stuff and they went away...I also get them if I take too much vitamin D...My body has a tendency to work differently than most...I'm a type 2 diabetic...don't know if it's a side effect from taking Lipitor for years or not...I'm on a different med now. Took my blood sugar reading...ate nothing...worked out at curves for 30 minutes...my blood sugar reading jumped up over 10 points...it was supposed to go DOWN...It seriously seems like what the doctors tell me to do to make things better has a tendency to backfire on me...not exactly sure what to do now...I know that I let things go badly when I was caring for MIL...now I am trying to take care of me but now I would have to say I'm confused...
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Also red, write down the times you do your BS readings. Keep yourself on a good eating schedule. Working out and not eating something before, not such a good idea. Always keep something with you in case your BS was to suddenly decrease,something that doesn't have to be chewed or swallowed. Talk to your pharmacist, they make some stuff looks like a gel, that someone can just put under your tongue,this is if you are unconscious that will up your BS. You should never try to get an unconscious person to try to swallow something, can end up in their lungs. My husband has type 2 dm, and he isn't very compliant and he is a nurse, go figure.I would also get a bracelet to wear that ID's you as a diabetic and case you are not able to let people know. A diabetic diet is actually a very healthy diet and can include lots of food.Everybody's metabolism is different and will react different to exercise, some people's BS can be easy to regulate and others not. Keeping a journal will help you see your body rhythms easily and help your doctor.
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Book, Lipitor was a nightmare for me.... had all the symptoms you shared....Was given this after my first tachycardia episode.....that is because they were playing Dr. Frankenstein instead of taking a blood test to check my cholesterol....like Red said, I would get muscle cramps in the oddest places.... and exhausted..... and on and on.... stopped taking it the morning I woke up with cramps in my NECK !! In no time I started feeling much better....and to this day, my cholesterol is fine !!!! It was fine then too.... They just threw drugs at me....
Tex.. the same thing happened to my son after his wreck.... so many broken bones.... it wasn't like he could get up and get some exercise...... no one told him and I was overwhelmed with taking care of him and working and it didn't occur to me they did not tell him anything before he left the hospital........ he was not a happy camper.....
It's awesome the things we share and learn on this site.....
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Just some quick comments cuz I need to do dad and then get ready for work.
My 1st surgery to take out complex ovarian cysts, my gyne prescribed for after my surgery some iron pills and stool softener. My 2nd surgery in Hawaii for a complete hyster and oosterectomy (??), I was given pain meds (which I didn't take - just my regular xtra strength Tylenol.) I couldn't do a bm @ the hosp. But the nurses said that they are more concerned with my urinating than the bm. I was released without a bm. Fortunately, being in Hawaii, I was eating unfamiliar food. So.. no problem with bm.

According to my doc, my cholest is NOT from food but from stress/family genetic. He kept repeating in my visits that eating the right food will NOT affect my cholest. Only Exercise can lower it. I have tried that. Fave sis got me a treadmill, I put in my bedroom. I think I'm allergic to exercising. I get so tired by 15min. And my upper thighs get soooooo itchy, it's as if the itch is from INSIDE or Under my skin. Scratching it feverishly does Not stop the itch - only lots of red marks, a few bleeding skin - and still so itchy. The itchiness eases off after 30 minutes quitting the treadmill. I get this itchiness when I'm shopping non-stop for hours. Someone mentioned maybe try changing my clothe soap. This clothe soap I use is the one that I found that does Not flare up my vaginal itchiness. I've tried others and this is the safe one so far. I can try again and see if I get the same results. Later.running late.
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Um, Book. Where ***exactly*** is the itching? And do you also get it on the equivalent bit of your upper arms, or your forearms? And is there absolutely nothing to see apart from marks where you've scratched? And is it the itchiest itching you've ever endured?
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Book it sounds as if this is irritation from your nerves. Do your exercising in smaller bites before your legs get tired. A treadmill may not be the right exercise for you without conditioning. Ask for a physical therapy consult and they will show you exercises to help strengthen your muscles before jumping on the treadmill and exhausting yourself. NO I am not saying do as I say not as I do. I had a PT evaluation on Monday and came home with a list of exercises which I AM doing. I have to do two sets every day about 40 mins total and I found I could only manage half at a time so do half twice a day. They are just things like leg lifting with variations. These are designed for core strengthening and we are starting with the legs then will go onto the arms. I was told it takes about four months to start getting new muscle fibers and total four months each for legs and arms as long as I work at it. As soon as you start to itch stop and rub something like Gold Bond cream on your thighs and don't scratch you already know this type of itching is not relieved by scratching. You can also use an anaesthetic spray.
There is a choice, I can either sit around and get weaker and be an old woman in a wheelchair or I can put the effort in. Frankly I am not ready yet for the wheelchair although it is tempting at times.
High cholesterol can definitely be genetic but the wrong food does not help it either so follow Drs orders but mind your diet and exercise too. Stress does not help anyone feel in top form but that is only part of the picture. Be well. take care of the vaginal itching too it is probably thrush and that is easily treated these days with OTC meds if you don't want to see a Dr. Do not use any comercial feminine products or wipes on the area and use a mild soap like a baby soap to wash. Wash your clothes especially underwear with a mild soap. Hand wash if necessary, no bleach no fabric softener. End of instructions for the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HUGS
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