This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
And the freshest produce goes at the back of the display.
Pam Stegman did she tell you about the roaches and bedbugs too!!!!!!!! Make sure you keep your pants tucked into your socks you don't want anything running up your legs.
Last fall when I was hospitalized we had beetroot salad with dinner. It was just beet root chopped small in vinegar. I looked then put my glasses on and it was full of tiny black flies. And no if anyone asks I did not have a high fever.
Glad, you have had a rough year, and it's not even over yet.... hope things start to calm down and you get some much needed time to yourself....
I am waching Cujo start to escalate in her behavior.... we have a meltdown in our future..... and daughter is having her own meltdown, caregiver burnout, and taking it out on the hired help...... feel like I am the center of a 'aggression sandwich'..... I did tell the daughter yesterday that I was not the enemy here.... I am past burn out myself,,, so this is going to get interesting.... and hope the daughter has enough brain cells to hear me that Cujo is heading for a hard time.... why wasn't I born rich instead of compassionate......
I changed dad's pampers first thing this morning, fed him and then started cooking for the whole day - in case the power goes out due to down power line from the foliage. Cooked a lot of rice and several different meat to eat throughout the day. I'm getting a headache - from being stuck in the house all day. Okay, I sneaked outside to stand on the porch while the strong winds are blowing from the different direction. I don't feel it from the porch. But once the storm passes, it will be coming directly towards the porch with worse winds than the front end. As long as we have power, I can post here on AC.
While standing outside the porch, I noticed the house next door (my bro's renting it out) neighbor's yard is getting flooded. And they parked both of their cars down there. They should park it up in the hill, on our land, so that their cars are safe from the flooding. So, I text SIL to tell her rentee that they can park on our land on the hill. I was still standing there when she came out of their apartment. She gave me the thumbs up. At least the neighbor is respectful and won't just "assume" to park in our land.
This morning, I needed to go badly and my sleepy legs weren't strong enough to Not sit on the seat. Ugh! Sis did not put the cover down. The seat was soooo cold! Just now, I needed to spend a little more time in the restroom - not a quick drive by. It's really raining, and the bathroom is soaking wet.
I put on my rain jacket and dad asked me where I'm going. I looked at him and said, "The bathroom." I'm so glad to be wearing my Hawaiian print dress. I use the fold in front to hide the toilet tissue from the incoming rain. As I'm sitting there trying to be quick at it, I started to giggle as I visualized myself from an outsider's point of view. So far, hiding the toilet tissue under the tupperware bowl across the room is working in keeping it nice and dry.
Now that it's 1215pm, I'm going to take a nap. I had a late breakfast so I'm not hungry for lunch yet.
I'm not a neurotic preparing for the end of the world, just doing all I can to ensure that me and my critters are safe, warm and fed in case of a long power outage.
Goal is to try to sleep early. About 10 minutes ago, I was wide awake. Now, my eyes are getting tired. I'm going to try to sleep early but dad is wide awake. He will talk and talk and talk. He doesn't even need me to answer him. He can have a whole conversation all by himself.
I was wondering why she doesn't want to call and check up on him?? It never goes that far...
Had to share with those I love and care about on AC..... I do not feel in any way I deserve this....... but gratitude does not even cover what I am feeling right now...... Think it's time for a chocolate binge.... just too much good news all in one day for this old woman.....