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Jam- dear - I feel with you… and whose inner beast are you referring to - there is certainly not one in you ! All I read in your lines is fear of not being up to caring well enough, with fear of how long will she live and tie you down to this job... and are you up to the task we all fear as the years advance on our previous generation...
Now hear this...13 years back I moved my parents from Vancouver Canada to the Cincinnati area via my Mini-van, and just as we entered the mountains West of Seattle, Mom said she'd be so glad when we get home tonight... took me several minutes to figure out how to answer that one.... and she sulked for a couple of hours after she heard my answer: ..." yes, dear, - 5 days from now we'll be there at night...we are still some 2500 miles away " (No way to fudge that one.) You see, it is next to impossible to fly a person that is almost blind, has cardiac issues, has late stage Parkinson's and severe osteoporosis, along with another person, my Dad, in the middle of dementia. Airlines get nervous about such things.
Besides there were items I did not trust the Movers to shuttle about, so the back of the Van was quite packed full...and father frequently shouted " You are on the wrong Highway "... as I had to occasionally switch interstates.
He once was a cartographer in WW II + he did try to read the map on which I had highlighted our trek.
But that's when I suddenly realized just how much worse his dementia had proceeded since my last visit to Vancouver 3 months earlier… and when I had to oppose his demands, his aggressive tendencies did arise worse and worse for several months, culminating in my having to call 911 at one point later, when he finally went out of control… at which point he was put on Haldol… a medication I did not really want him on, but had no choice - since aggression brings with it high Bloodpressure and a danger of strokes…
besides upsetting the whole family also.. a situation which my mother could not tolerate without serious effects on her health status…
I wonder if you can see some of the "Hurdles" one has to go thru -on the road of caretaker… and they are
Manageable !!!…yet I have to admit that a year+ in Nursg.School, plus years of hospital work, and geriatric care, did give me an advantage in this endeavor. Dementia or it's cousin Alzheimer's do have a phase of aggressiveness, which totally seems to be benign in folks who have a mild demeanor {phlegmatic} to begin with, or can get as bad as my Dad's as he was forceful personality. It should therefore be important to have regular Doctor visits that include discussion of her temperament behaviour at that point in time… and should definitely be medically treated…. although some Docs.do not like to treat with Anti-psychotics, yet it depends entirely on trying the lowest dose 1st, then adjust as needed, for the least amount of time needed, and slowly decreasing until finally stopping it altogether. It really does not matter if the dosage might cause sleepiness one or two days… consider it a rest-period for the patient -- until the dosage adjustment kicks in… to return them to normalcy… When my Dad got wild, I would increase the dosage for one period.. he'd sleep, and forget what made him mad… taking his B/P verified that I was doing the right thing, as it normalized - instead of being too high and his pulse too fast… One Doctor agreed with my treatment, another did not, just because he did not like to see patients being sedated in Nursing Homes…
Yet there is a difference between home care, + NSG Home care… where medication dosage changes require Dr.s orders + often do not get adjusted as fast as one can do that at home… where you have had a chance to discuss such changes with your Doc, prior to implementing them…
And please, think of her as a patient, not your Mom-inLaw - you'd be surprised how that helps adjust your own mind and eases the chores…. As the name "Patient" so clearly emphasizes that you are dealing with someone not normal in body and mind and therefore "ill" + needing kindness, rather than facing a cranky kid…
Well, Aging Care may want to charge me overtime for this long comment, so for now I wish you time to
get on line as often as possible to Google-check on the very fears your Mom-inLaw's behaviour presents.
It does help, and do not forget - your County has support personnel chapters that are income adjusted… That helped save my day for 6 years… I wish you well !!!
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Ladee I'm thrilled for you!! Not only are you getting a big home but all the stuff that goes with it. No-one deserves it more than you do!

Judda, been there, done that, as have many or most of us. I too am happiest alone. Though we get on very well (even if my big dog wants to eat him, though he loves animals) after my muscle/helper guy has been about for 2 or 3 days in a row I'm ready to go hide under the bed!
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LadeeM the house sounds great.. I know if it was me the excitement of a new home would have me up all night...Good luck..
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Thanks Assa and Ash........ ya, my mind is spinning !!!!Having all that going thru my mind will take my mind off how long this is going to take..... lol.... but hey, all I have is time......sure gonna make those 12 hr night shifts long tho...... lol

Talk about a gratitude list !!!

And Ash, that's why I am trying to find a place in the country..... I think so many of us are so burned out from hearing someone WANTING something from us.... that being alone is my first choice...... but I will have room for company... and grandangels.... hey, we can have our caregiver 'get together' at my house... woot woot !!!
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Hey ya'll, just realized I can get a donkey now...... noooooo, not a new husband, that would be an 'ass', but a real live donkey !!!!!!
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LadeeM just let me know when and where for 'get together' and I'm on the first flight!
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Don't mean to brag but actually having a good morning.It is now 5 weeks post op from neck surgery,doing better. Raining steadily this am, still in bed with all the dogs and wonderful husband is taking bible thumping Mommy Dearest to church.Haven't had to interact for more than 15 minutes with her this am,God is good.
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Sure will Assa !!!!! Come on down !!!!!
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Happy to hear you are doing so well Tex.... and not having to deal with mommy is even better... we nominate hubs for our new HERO award......
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Hey ladeeM, Llet's have a house warming PARTY!!
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Lets do it Sue.... how much fun for all of us to get to meet each other..... People from all over descending on Texas..... makes me smile just thinking about it.... !!!
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Things I learned: i was concerned that my mom only allowed me to shower her once a week only to find that i was actually lucky to get her to agree and it's not a big deal. Others only wished their loved one would bathe weekly. Who knew. So here are some of my thoughts we can't take for granted what others may not think is obvious. i would be thrilled if it helped someone. Here goes...
Always treat one with respect. Remember it may be you one day and it's hard for the person to be sick and lose their independence
Try to ask and not tell. .. hey mom can i wash your back for you?
The power of suggestion. Wow these vegetables i bought are delicious. You wanna try?
Pose things in a way that allows them to either make a decision or let them think they did. .. so mom want to take your shower now or later? Whatever is good for you. I found this empowered my mom and made her feel like she is in control
Talk for distraction during embarrassing times such as wiping after a bm, showing, changing a diaper whatever. I know mom feels humiliated do i try to make it as normal as possible and chat about anything but the chore at hand
And never belittle. .. hopefully this is obvious
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Thanks wannek, ya, asking.... that's what I want when I am in their shoes....Your mom is blessed to have a daughter that thinks like this..... awesome job.... hugs
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Round here the double wides either go on a concrete foundation or basement. They still blow away in a tornado though not that we get many of those.
Are you going to teach the donkey to drive ladee?. You can use him for transportation and get rid of all those car expences. How about a nice little donkey cart to hitch him to. tie him to a tree when you get to work and he can mow the lawn, then when the clients need a change of scenery take them for a little ride.
just remember they don't allow hoofed conveyances on the interstates. you will become famous in the neighborhood and someone might even post a picture on Utube and make the national news. ladee and her donkey on the evening news. then take him to the state fair and compete in the driving classes. He'd be very competitive in the obsticle class. They usually allow donkeys and mules not just horses. on cold nights some of your stray cats will probably sleep on his back on cold nights. We had one that did that and the horse did not seen to notice him.
I think the idea of a get together would be a real hoot. For one thing we did not know each other before we got old and grey or bent and fat and covered in wrinkles. that is the reason I avoid reunions. I see pictures of all these old ladies and find it really depressing. I can't really be that old. I was going to say no men but then we wouldn't want to leave the capt out, after all someone might need a tire changed!!!!!!!!!!!! Hugs
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wanek you are awsome . Respect and bounderies.
it sounds as though you mom is not too difficult I had to have a little chuckle when you mentioned how to put things to her. Quite right of course but I was thinking how some of the narcisistic abusiv patents would reply. "Course i don't want a bath you stupid little ******* idiot i've had two this morning already. Do you think I am stupid or something. did I raise a moron here. Why don't you find something useful to do with your life instead of hanging around here all day bugging me. now get down the road and get me a burger, i can'r eat that swill you cook" Sorry could not resist teasing you but your heart is so in the right place and i am just a nasty old lady with too much to say. Hugs.
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Having a donkey and cart to go to work sounds like it could work.... we don't live near an interstate, so no problem... we have a few characters here in town that ride around on HooverRound scooters to get where they are going.... and one guy on a lawnmower that has a little wagon on back to take his wife places....they dress up like Santa and Ms. Clause every year.... stand on the main intersection and wave at people..... so a donkey and cart would probably go unnoticed...... lol.....

Ya, Cap is invited, would love to see him pull up on Ike... I rode Harleys for 20 years...... but don't think I would insult Ike by busting his springs.... Poor Cap.... he would be needing some serious therapy after spending a few days with us.....
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Friendly word of advice to all...if you use Icy Hot on any part of your body that can reach your face...cover it up...slathered up my arm and shoulder last night and managed to rub it across my face, in my sleep, and got it in my eye...another one of my not so banner moments...
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Red, it is apparent that you are better qualified to take care of others as opposed to taking care of yourself... do we need to take up a collection to get YOU a caregiver???? Woman, please take better care of yourself.... we miss you !!! Hugs and chocolate...
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Veronica i so get what you're saying believe me. My mom has been cynical and negative her/my whole life and it ain't any easier now that she isn't well. She has memory loss and is depressed and cries daily and it breaks my heart. I've struggled many times and still do to bathe her, and every night when i give her her meds etc. However through trial and error I've learned certain strategies to keep my sanity and get her to do what needs to be done with the least arguing. That's what i shared. She is a very difficult woman at times but i try to put myself in her shoes and feel for her so it gets me through her attitude. I hope it gets easier for everyone to find their way. I am still learning and have many struggles in the household which is also comprised of my elderly dad and mentally ill brothers. I am only human and with all this still lose my patience and am stressed out. We do the best we can.
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Wannek you are caring for FOUR of them? That is at least three too many. is there anyone to help you?
From the way you posted it did not sound as though your Mom had any of the nasty issues but she certainly does and you are on your way to sainthood.
So many of the loved ones who are demented seem to have and have had these nasty behaviours all their lives I do wonder if that is not linked to dementia.
Blessings and heaps of hugs you are doing a tremendous job.
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My brother is visiting from out of state for 5 days and for the first time in months he was able to personally experience the stress I feel everyday as a caregiver for our parents. My parents live in their own home and while my dad has difficulty getting out by himself, my mom is still independent physically but emotionally she is anxious, fearful and having a hard time accepting the changes in my dad's health. Today was a day where my brother saw firsthand that taking care of emotional needs is not nearly as cut and dry as responding to physical challenges. In a weird way, I feel validated and hopeful that maybe my brother will visit more often and share the care since it's just the two of us siblings.
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Judda – that walk of yours around the pond sounded so relaxing and peaceful. Sounds like a great place to get your me-time and to rejuvenate.

Hi Chrissy, DHilBe and Assandy (I still like your avatar yet feel so sad about it.)
Ashlynne, I chuckled about your muscle/helper guy. =)
Tex, chuckled about your “bible thumping Mommy Dearest”. I soooo agree that you have a wonderful husband who’s running interference on your behalf with his MIL. Yep, he does deserve a Hero’s award.

Ladee - before we arrive, can you like … call the pest control people and to use natural products to spray those Texas ticks? I sure don’t want to be allergic to red meat. Yeah, capt will come out on Ike.

Wannek, good tips to remember. And don’t talk fast. I keep forgetting that. By the time I’m done talking, dad looks so confused. And I’m too tired to repeat myself. Then he gets pissed off because I say, “Oh, never mind!” I will admit that even before dad’s stroke, he was going on 3 weeks without showering. Why would he need to shower? He doesn’t need it. He doesn’t stink (his sense of smell is gone.) The only way to get him to shower was to say that so-and-so (a male) is coming to visit. Only then he will shower.

Veronica, since I graduated from high school, I’ve never attended any of our reunions. My ex bf asked me why I don’t attend. I said that I never went to the dances and proms when I was in school, why on earth would I do so now? Our island is so small, I already see my former classmates. I admit, they all seem to look like they’ve gained too much weight and old looking.

Steller – Finally your brother gets to see what you’ve been telling him. I wonder how he’s going to react now? Please keep us updated. I’m curious.
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Hopefully this will give some of you a good laugh. Just had the best laugh I have had since mother moved in 2 yrs. ago. Husband and I were just sitting on the front porch with coffee and listening to it actually thundering,nice grayed over. cooler day and awaiting Lady Astor(mother) to arrive to ride on the golf cart down to the little "art studio" we made her.I was sitting there with what is called a cervical stimulator around my neck,had neck surgery 5 wks ago,and just before I got up to get in the cart it thundered and that is when I remembered I had this electromagnetic pulsing thing around my neck and I thought Oh God what if I had been in the cart with mother and this thing around my neck and we got killed by lightening, for some reason this struck me so funny I laughed so hard at the ironic thought of it,I can't stand her, of meeting my demise in this manner I actually had stress incontinence.I would be dead and embarrassed.
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Tex, I cracked up at your thought! I think it's the combination of daily drudgery, with the constant underlying "something BAD could HAPPEN at ANY MOMENT!" environment we deal with that leads to the most absurd thoughts, that end up finding hilarious. Gallows humor, I guess? Have a great Monday! :) Here's to no lightening strikes! lol.
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This also might be funny. Just after I got her down to her "art studio" came upstairs and husband is going for quick run to WalMart. I call downstairs to mother on phone and ask if she wants anything (of course) she directs me to the list she has already made taped in her room and then proceeds to try to tell me what kind of doggy treats for her babies to get.This is when is gets to that comedy routine in "Young Frankenstein" where Gene Wilder is trying to get the name of the brain that Marty Feldmen has brought him, remember :A,,,,B,,,i,,,normal I think it was Marty says, Gene Wilder says Abnormal? Yes , that was it Marty replies after many attempts by Gene to discern what Marty was saying.She was trying to spell Denta stix to me and to save my life she had to spell it over and over until I realized what she was saying ,not her fault, my brain just wasn't firing,guess I was still worried about the lightening.She was so frustrated with me, was nice to have that shoe on her foot for a while.
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OMG! My day just gets better.I just though about wanting some Lay's Salt and Vinegar potato chips(comfort food)husband already gone awhile to Walmart ,so called his cell and actually got him and he said he had just gotten in the car to come home and I told him never mind but he insisted I tell him why I called so I said it was just in case he was still in the store to get the chips, I knew he would have gone back in but didn't want to bother him, he told me he had already bought me 2 bags.Then a few minutes later he told me that actually had almost forgotten to get me some but was at the checkout line and went all the way to the back of the store to get my chips. MY HERO!
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Tex, that's lovely. Isn't it so nice when without being asked they just ***think*** what you would like?! What a star.
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Tex, I had a cat we named Abinormal !!!! Too funny..!!! Ya, if you're going to bite I from lightning, at least you want it to be a spiritual experience !!!!! And your hubby is really a blow up doll you have setting on your couch..... !!!! I want to see pics of him doing nice and thoughtful things, short of proof, I don't believe there is such a man.... LOL

What an awesome moon last night.... about 5 this morning, I went outside to smoke and gaze at the wonder... I hear all kinds of banging and bumping in the house.... first time I had been outside in hours !!!!

Here comes Cujo out of the first bedroom........ can tell by the look on her face she is confused...... asked her if I could help her, and in her best Cujo voice.. THAT JACKET IS RANDELLS'..... well, alrighty then....object..... to get her back to bed without having to hear that voice again...

Finally after convincing her , yes, she DID have a bed at 'this place'..... she went back to bed and was still asleep when I left at 7......Have been having a lot of quite nights, so am not complaining.....

Book... haven't heard anything about the ticks around here.... if there were I'd hear something as there are farmers and cattle ranchers everywhere......and something like that would even end up in our little local paper.....so far, you would be safe and could still eat meat.... YUK !!!!
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Book I am not sure you should eat any meat on the mainland. The Chinese have just bought the biggest meat processor on the mainland. They carry some famous brands not to mention the store brands. Have to find a local farmer and buy off the farm.
Ladee might run out in her new back forty and shoot something. I was going to say wring the neck of one of her chickens but she would borrow one of your evil spirits and set it on me.
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MsV.... I'm savin' the chickens..... and if everyone wants to try armadillo, that can be arranged...... but sure hope who ever shows up likes to cook... if not, it will be 'carry out'..... just because I will have a kitchen, doesn't mean I'm going to use it.....
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