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Book like you I am completely tone deaf so never could find the beat to dance. if i had a strong partner that lifted me off my feet I was OK but thinking for myself and remebering the steps no way. they there were those business dos where you were expected to dance with the bosses how I hated that.

Judda what a wonderful way to let your spirit soar.
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I love to dance..... afraid I will injure something now,,, but dance like a fool in the car....
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My singing is worse. Because I don't hear the rhythm, I'm really really off-keyed in my singing. My dad finally put a stop to my impromptu singing. He said that I really sound awful. So, now I only sing in the car with just me and the radio and no passengers to torment within hearing distance.
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Arthur Bergeron is an expert elder lawyer and offers a free half hour consultation: maybe he'll do one on the phone. Look him up. He's in Marlborough, and also in Worcester, Mass and is with Merrick O'Connell Attorneys at Law. I did some video for him. Really great guy!
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Bookluvr: Beethoven was deaf and composed symphonies. I also saw a real life video on a guy in a nursing home and it showed how when he was handed headphones and the music he loved he came to life. It was incredible! You must have talents of some kind. Rely on them to give back to yourself and to feel gratitude for the gifts inside yourself that you have been given. No one can give you the full measure of joy and love that already resides in your soul. Sometimes when you get beat down from caregiving and other things, all it takes is to concentrate and indulge in that talent or interest. You don't even have to be specially talented: just paint, just dance, just walk, whatever it is. But I can't emphasize how much doing these things, even for 10 minutes, diffuses my dangerous anger and sadness that can take away my health.

Lately I am feeling incrediblly healthy! I also take the "super green drink powder" from Trader Joe's in juice and a with little flaxseed. The chlorella and other good things in it give me energy. I also had some mercury fillings removed and replaced with white fillings. Seems like days after that I felt better than I had in years.
Hope this all helps someone.

Hugs to you all.
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Judda, you can't use Beethoven as an example of being tone deaf. He was a Genius. Born as one. I'm not even close to being a genius. Anyway, Beethoven may have been deaf, but he heard these music in his head. And he was able to compose those beautiful music using vibrations.
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Judda, the conductor Thomas Beecham (I've probably spelled that wrong) said testily to an interviewer: "you have to remember that Beethoven's later symphonies were written by a deaf man…" One gathered he didn't care for them.

Personally I love them, but I also love Gilbert & Sullivan and Tchaikovsky so you can't look to me for musical taste. And Abba. And Marvin Gaye. And Blondie…

I remember watching a Christmas revue on TV once, can't remember who the hosts were, this was back before The Flood, and the next scene came on of an idyllic Hawaiian beach. Palm fronds fanned. Maidens swayed. Waves lapped onto the sands, and on the seventh washed up a giant clam shell. Out of which burst Bette Midler launching raucously into "Oklahoma!"

I still think it was the funniest thing I've ever seen and I love her for it.

Book, I can't imagine anything more crushing than being told you sound terrible when you're singing. Having said that, my daughter sails round the house (just as I used to) accompanying her iPod at the top of her voice and it can get a bit migraine-inducing. But I wouldn't dream of inhibiting her. Singing is SO GOOD for you. It lifts the spirits and ventilates the blood stream. Turn your dad's tv volume up higher and sing away!

Remember: talent does what it can. Genius does what it must. Beethoven had to be turned round to see his audience after the first performance of the Choral because he couldn't hear the rapturous applause. Just because you'll never suffer that kind of pain doesn't mean you should deprive yourself of a God-given pleasure.
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Has anyone heard from Hannah from a few days ago? Or should I assume she is one of the "trolls" we hear about? I am a bit worried...
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Hopefully she took everyone's suggestions and is in the hospital..... and finding a place for her parent.....
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Thanks everyone. A little dancing went a long way! Even putting on music at home and knocking into your furniture is fun! As I experience my past hurts from this family I can feel my feelings. That's a real first for me I think. That's why being present in the body, fully, through dance, massage, a real hug, swimming, whatever you do, is so healing. With healing comes self acceptance, with self acceptance, comes a renewal in energy, with energy comes purpose and with purpose comes love and living in a deeper way.We all are moving through our journeys and hopefully we will raise our arms up in the air with joy and triumph.

I've come a long way, baby! And I sure have moments when I am very disturbed inside and wonder how can I ever get "home" to myself. Caregiving: you can run the whole gamut a few times in one day! Right?
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Hannah i truly hope you get to see these posts and find comfort that we really care and it gives you some strength to carry on. So please reach back out to us
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24 long days until my eye surgery. The days are dragging..... Today was dark overcast all day and while I did accomplish some small tasks I call it my low vision day as my vision is noticeably
blurry. days like this my attention span is short.
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Hannah, I hope you're alright. I hope you listened to the good people here and got yourself to a hospital. Anytime someone throws up blood, it's time to see the doc. Imo, it's also time to think of alternative arrangements for your grandma. You're in over your head. Your grandma needs to be evaluated and probably medicated if she isn't already. Please let us know how you're doing.

Reading though your posts, everyone. It helps.

Have a great night, ya'll!
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I can't put into words how grateful I am to have found this site. Just reading ten or so of the comments has given me hope that I can do this, and just an hour ago I was ready to find a nursing home for my Father. In less than twenty four hours he has had an *accident* five times, and I have cleaned him, his bed, and the bathroom each and every time. I now have a pile of sheets, towels, bed clothes, etc, all reeking of crap to launder, but I know I'll get thru it. Thank you all for sharing and giving me hope again.
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How am I today? In a lot of pain.... bent down to get a bottle of water last night, and OMG, that same place in my back went haywire..... was already at work, so I stayed.... big mistake..... can hardly walk and getting up from a setting position is almost impossible..... I have a good pain threshold.... this is kicking my *ss, excuse the pun.... sat on the toilet for 20 minutes because I couldn't get up.....and, and , and, I am out of minutes on my phone......!!!!! Needless to say, going to work tonight is out of the question......
The daughter is a teacher and she started work today.... she is not going to be happy.... but hey, neither am I...... and I sooooo can not afford to miss work..... going back to bed before I depress myself.... hugs to everyone.
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Oh Ladee, sorry to hear that! Take it easy an hope you feel better soon. It goes to show that this family needs a back up plan. Things are not always going to happen in the summer, when convenient for daughter.
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Sorry to hear about your pains!! I hope you are getting better soon... Ladee you ever use support belt for protecting your back? Myself off and on have a muscle aches, so I used BLUE EMU cream that makes me feel great...
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Love, hugs, chocolate and ICE CREAM! So sorry you are hurting.SLEEP!
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Hi dloon! I can't talk long because I need to get ready for work. I sure don't envy your position with regards to your father's poopy stage. I dread it when I smell it from bedridden dad.

LadeeM, ouch on the back pain. I hope it doesn't carry on for several days like backpains usually do. Sleep. Then maybe try a very very hot shower.
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Hi AS... sorry really running late.
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Big hug Ladee M. Have you got a hot water bottle to hold against your back? Soothing if not a cure. Wish you better x
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Oh Ladee M not again. I am sending you a soothing massage. Imagine soft hands
rubbing warm oil into those tense muscles. Then watch the cloud of pain leave your body and gently drift out of the door to be blown away in the evening breeze.
Refil CMs hot water bottle and get some sleep.

The hot shower is a good idea Book but Ladee does not have running water!

Hershey's kisses tonight Ladee. Don't smoke in bed
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Thanks ya'll..... I hate having to depend on anyone to help me..... I am going to be some poor caregivers nightmare one day....bless her heart.....

The drive home this morning was hard, getting out of the car a show of pure will and determination to get in the house...... so strange... been lifting and transferring for years.... and bottle of water kicked my *ss !!!!

Just staying in bed,using Theragesic and taking something for pain.... I also realize I have got to start walking and getting some exercise..... I am not used to all this setting....... so that is on my 'to do list' when I can walk again without sounding like a wounded animal...

No hot water bottle CM, but do have a heating pad.... will do the visualization MsV and I do not smoke in bed... like you said, no hot shower, but getting in and out of a shower sounds painful....

Daughter called to check on me.... ya sure, and did get someone to fill in... amazing what she can do when she is put on the spot.... I don't feel a bit guilty.... when people do not have a back up plan, it is none of my business....

So, just wanted to check in and tell ya'll thanks for the concern.... will be sleeping here any time now..... and then hoping I don't have to go to the bathroom...... instead of 'I've fallen and I can't get up', its more like "I'm on the toilet and I can't get up"..... I would die there as opposed to calling my son or 911,,,,,, lol.....

Hope everyone is ok and had a good day.... love and hugs..... and I'll send son out tomorrow for my chocolate fix......
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This is terrible, ladeeM. The only thing I know that helps the hurt back is time. I hope it gets better fast. Until then, lots of healing vibes are coming your way.
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Thanks Jessie...... laying around and reading till my eyes bulge is already getting old... but like you said... time...... hugs to ya !!!
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I've been waking up with back pains lately - from sleeping on my sides. I never had this problem before. But now it's happening every night. I now have to do some very light stretching exercises using the 2 lbs weights. Every morning, as I do the arm lifts, the row boat strokes, the bending down and then up, etc... my bones from all over from the elbow, to the shoulders to the back bones are all clicking and popping. Just yesterday, my dad heard it and exclaimed, "what is that?!" I told him it's my bones popping - from arthritis. You should have seen me last night trying to shave my right leg while showering. I had absolutely no problem on the left leg. Right leg was a totally different story - severe sharp back pain. I kept trying to find a way to shave the leg without triggering the pain. Finally succeeded in shaving it. When I got dressed, I did more stretching exercises since my bones are acting up again.

Ladee, you and I and all caregivers, need to make time to de-stress our body from the stress of caregiving/work. I guess for me, reading is not enough as a de-stresser. I hope you're feeling better - as in less pain today than yesterday.
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Thanks Book, have been doing some stretching too, not helping much.... am going to the Dr today.....when you can't set, stand or lay without pain, time to get something done.....

I think one thing that is contributing is the fact that I have always been a hands on caregiver, up, moving, lifting, in other words.... working..... not setting....I come home after that 12 hours and go straight to bed....get up and do it again.... not getting enough exercise for sure....probably need a new mattress too..... I just know that I do not have time to be taking off work for this.... but can't tend to Cujo if I can't get out of the chair without screaming, and I sure can't stand for all those hours.... so to the Dr. it is...... d*mn it... can think of so many places that money can go..... oh well, just life on life's terms I guess....

Hugs to all of you today.... for whatever you are going thru, know I am thinking of you and prayers for all..... love and hugs, and while I'm out today, getting some chocolate...... !!!!!!!
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Be careful shaving those legs, Book!

OK, I will tell you a story.

About six years ago I herniated a couple of disks in my back while getting a 30 pack of beer out of the cooler at the liquor store. I have never been in that kind of pain before of since. Even having children was not that bad, at least that had a definite end. But the back thing went on forever, it seemed.

Every once in awhile, I reinjure my back in the area of these disks. The last time was a result of twisting just wrong while shaving my legs. Once a person injures their back they have to be very careful, work to strengthen it or it will continue to happen.
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Yes, Dr. Gladimhere! I will google and find Simple exercises to strengthen the back. Now, the question is - do I have the Will Power to continue to do it?

I have an idea of what's straining my back. When I lean over the shower to get the warm water for dad's pamper changing. When I sleep on my side - in fetal condition. When I shave my leg trying to shave behind the legs. For sitting hours at the office - hunched over position with my head angled up to the computer. (If I lean back, my legs would be dangling from the office chair and my hands would barely be touching the keyboard. If I lower the chair so that I can touch the floor, my head would be more angled up to look at the computer.) And the bending over as I change dad's pamper - tugging and pulling.

It's only 10:20pm and I'm sooo tired. I rushed my work because my 2 bosses will be on vacation for the next 9 days. I will be manning the office alone. This means leaving the office late - like 7pm. I'm going to be very exhausted and stressed. and grouchy. Boss said that if the airline's flight back home is on time, I can get next Friday off - so that I can have a long 4-day weekend. I will Pretend to go to work on Friday, so that I don't have to stay home and babysit dad. Since Monday is a legal holiday, oldest sis is off and I'm covering for her. So, it's just really a 3-day weekend for me.
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Since my last business luncheon meeting with fellow business associates, several of them asked me if I ever thought of dying my hair. Yes, I have lots of gray hair. And it's not the pretty gray color. Now I guess I'm going to have to do something about it - work wise situation. Gosh, to just have my hair professionally partial highlights is going to cost me about $50-$60! I know that we can buy the hair color solution at the store but I understand from my hairdresser in Colorado that those solutions are harsh. She refuses to let her mom use those. Depressing to spend so much money just so that my grays are not obvious. What a waste...
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