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Oops... my hairdresser Niece... I don't have a hairdresser in Colorado. Boy, that would be like spending $2000.00 airfare just to have my hair done! =)
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Book, for being my age, I have very few gray hairs...... but Im not going to color my hair...... I've earned the right to glow in the dark !!!!

yes about the exercise..... just stretching now helps....and we never give our self time to heal or we just don't get the luxury of time to heal....I know that missing work is stressing me out.... what a vicious cycle I put myself in at times.....the more stressed I get, the more I tense up.....some days I just want off this roller coaster... it's not fun anymore...
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Book I do not think the home coloring kits are too harsh thousands of women use them -I think I would go with highlights -less expensive and usually look nice.
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Last round of physical therapy today...with instructions to see the doctor about getting an MRI...she said my shoulder is extremely unstable (no joke, since it popped back out of place during my last therapy session)...she said that should not be the case with all of the exercises I've done and the time that has passed...I have most of the range of motion back...some with a little pain but at one point the stupid thing just pops out (with a lot of PAIN) I have to push on a ball from 6 different positions 30 times each and then lift 5 pound hand weights in 3 different positions 30 times each, twice a day...I was finally able to raise my hand over my head and use both of them to do my hair 2 days ago...I've done the exercises faithfully, I'm tired, cranky, going nuts because I can't get all the stuff done that I need to do...Everyone...take care and hugs...I'm so grateful this happed now instead of when MIL was depending on me to care for her...LadeeM hope the doctor appointment goes well and he can help you find some relief...being in pain is no way to have to spend your time.
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Red, hate to hear this may not be the end of your shoulder problems... please let us know what happens.... and I hate it for you that you want to be busy and can't do the things you want.....

My doctor agrees that I need more exercise to strengthen those muscles.... when I can walk more than ten feet without wanting to just lay down on the floor, I will try to find some entry level exercise to do.... can't afford for this to keep happening...

Have some good pain meds so will be able to go back to work tomorrow..... waaa.....
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Hi!!! I'm back. Feeling tired. Dealing with my Dad who wants to go home. I can't convince him that he is at home. He says I'm not telling the truth. It' s not easy. Today is the fourth day telling me the same thing. He's also asking for his mom. He wants a kiss from her. I told him she's not here, but I could give him the kiss. He agreed. Last week I had to take a short vacation with the family. He was asking when was I coming back. I didn't know Alzheimer was so terrible. The stress is horrible. I feel the one with Alzheimer is me. Forgetting everything, loosing things.
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Book, I also have "tinsel" so I get highlights and they grow out less noticable for about 3 months, and my hair grows fast. Good luck, and too bad its not a work related tax deduction...LOL
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Guess I will go in to work tonight..... Dr gave me some powerful pain meds so I was able to relax my back and actually get up without scaring my cat ..... slept good last night... so onward on the CG trail... short check, but hey, had no choice but to take care of myself...

Hope everyone had a good weekend and had some quite time to drink a cup of coffee without hearing noise...... hugs and chocolate to you all.
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Book, can you lay your hands on a bar stool? One of the high ones, with a footrest? Or failing that discreetly remind someone in charge at work that repetitive strain injury and back pain cost companies SUCH a lot of money in compensation…

Seriously, it is only reasonable to expect to be comfortably seated at work. Hope you can get something done about it. Hugs.
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Checking in..... the back pain is moving around like a demon possessed with fire....... now in my hip and back....... I absolutely do not have time for this...... glad I am off for a few days, and I can get sick of my grumpiness and change my sucky attitude......
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Book, how in the world did I miss the whole hair coloring thing? Asleep at the switch, I guess. You have a hairdresser in Colorado? Let me know next Tim you come in for one is those appointments, I will pick you up at the airport! I really would like to meet a hairdresser that is worth traveling that far for!

I was your niece is your hairdresser? LOL!

Just had to let you know how very lost I am on this thread right now, and I don't know why, that is the scary part.

I even missed the comment Dr. Gladimhere!

Thank you very much. Have reading to catch up with, I guess.
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Ha! Glad. I had to do that with the DYS thread. I didn't know how long it got since I last read there. It was 450am, couldn't sleep. So I figured it's a good time to read DYS. I think it was 550am when I realized I still have more to read and I didn't fall asleep like I usually do - because the emotions from the posts I was reading was affecting me. So, I purposely put the kindle down, turned my back on it, and finally fell asleep until my alarm went off at 610am.

I've been restless lately. This site is not holding my attention like it used to. My book is not holding my attention, either. Been channel surfing lately. I think I'm getting shopaholic withdrawals. Last night, I spent hours window shopping on Amazon for books. I have my to-buy list but... realistically I cannot afford to spend regular book prices. It's more like Wish List. sigh.. anyway, I have lots of unread paperback, hardcover and ebooks to read. A Lot!!!

Red - I hope that your shoulder problem is not permanent. That would really limit what you can do - or make you think ahead before doing something that would make it pop out.
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I have noticed a change on AC since coming back from vacation last month-I heard AC wants us to stay on topic but good grief we talk about our lives as caregivers-it isn't pretty but it is our lives untarnished and real. Book I agree changing your position at work would help and get up and walk around at least once an hour.
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I made the biggest mistake of my life. I feel like I have aged a hundred years. The guilt is CRUSHING. Yesterday I left Mom at the nursing home. She cried, screamed and begged us not to leave her there.
What am I going to do? Will this nightmare ever end? Or does it just get worse and worse til I die of a stroke?
I want to go get her and bring her HOME. I know it's wrong and it's not safe for her to be here and she wasn't happy at all here...but at least she was with me!
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Wanting, it was not a mistake otherwise she would not be there. Her doctor had to agree with the placement. Most will have a difficult time adjusting. Give it time and allow yourself time to make the adjustment by staying away for awhile, two weeks is what many facilities request. Allow them to get to know your Mom and provide for her needs. Hopefully next time you see her she would have started to make the adjustment and doing well. No reason for you to feel guilty. And when my turn comes I will read my own words and feel good about the amount of care that I was able to provide for my Mom.

Relax and find something fun to do today that you couldn't have done before.
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Wanting -you did what had to be done-keeping her home in an unsafe environment would have been the wrong thing to do-do not feel -I am wrong I can not tell you how to feel-but know you did not do anything wrong-I practically lives in NH's -my husband was in 15 times the last years and I never say a resident crying because they were there after a few days-they adjust quickly and you know they are being cared for-the next time you visit she will feel differently-think about how many parents want to send their kids off to kindergarten but they have to. We know when it is time for a NH-my late husband said at the time-I do not want to be in a NH - I told him this time it was not his decision to make-he had refused adult day care and I let him but down the road he could not refuse-it was what it was-the right decision-you will still be a big part of her life overseeing her care-give it time.
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Wanting, did you ever leave a little kid some where like a new preschool and they screamed when you left. Mom may be doing the same thing, check with the nurses to see how she is once you have left. if she continues with the same behaviour for say more than half an hour as them to get a sedative ordered. often family are advised not to visit a newly admitted elder in a nursing home for maybe 2 weeks to give them time to settle in. Please don't feel guilty you would not have done this if she had been safe and happy in your home.
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Austin the site does seem to have changed and notifications are not reaching me so I have to come to my news feed and find all kinds of things I have missed
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Red I am so sorry your shoulder is not behaving itself .I am afraid surgery may be in your future. they will be able to repair and shorten ligaments and tendons that have been streched or torn.
Not a nice prospect but realistically once you have recovered from the initial assult you will be feeling a lot better and be more functional than the same period doing what you are doing now. At least they will be doing it under anesthetic.
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Wanting, I agree with what everyone has said..... you did the right thing.... you are feeling feelings you don't want to feel.... give it time... let her get adjusted and take time to adjust to your new normal also....... it happened just like it was supposed to..... you will be fine and so will she...
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Veronica I also o to the news feed and it seems when I complain about not getting posts it does get better-I am getting away from being a quiet little mouse-even with the people or person organizing our class reunion -can't wait until tonight when I come upon this person-he will probably ignore me or because he is so full of himself he will not even care that I kept him accountable-glad my honey will be next to me to protect me-but I am turning into my mother God forbid no that won't happen-I know when to keep quiet-she noticed everything and felt obligated to give her opinion .
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My mom stays home now and doesn't go to daycare...she still says she has to go to work But always saying she wants to go home...its constant probably from the sundowners but I just keep reminding her she is at home. Thursday would have been my parents 66th wedding anniversary I made my mom a nice dinner and we looked at some pictures of my parents. She was talking about my father a lot. It made me happy and sad. Then later that night i got really sad my brother was posting on facebook about dementia...it seems he actually had to deal with one of my mothers episodes and was explaining how bad it was. Well actually wasn't even really an episode. He has his friends fooled that he even does anything for her besides sitting on couch texting on his phone. Then I saw on facebook how he planned on being out of town again for our mothers 87th birthday. I just blew up i sent him a message and then he tells me well im going to be in colorado the following week too. How one person can be so selfish i don't know but thats why he isn't caring for her when he does try its not pretty. My caregiver counselor tells me to just let go of my brothers and not deal with them but its impossible when mom is asking for them all the time. My sister and her family will be coming for her birthday so at least she will have her daughters around her. Hope everyone has a safe weekend. I may be back again I seem to be an emotional wreck the last few days.
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Wanting, I feel you. **big hugs** I get where you're at.
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Crissy, I bet your brother just can't handle it all, especially the emotional side of it. People are selfish but some people just can't look serious hard reality in the face too long and who can blame them...we wish we didn't have to see it either. That being said, harsh or not, families should be there for each other to support each other. Should be. I'm sorry. *squish*

And Wanting, yes, you did do the right thing and sometimes that's all that's left, hard as that is.... This is a brutal ride.
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They had to move her to the secure Alzheimer's unit..the room is not nearly as nice or big..but she has a roommate that is very coherent and friendly...and the staff seems to know what they are doing and are very nice. I actually feel a LOT better now. She was very upset still but they told me to go away and let her acclimate. So I am home.

think I am going to turn the AC down to fifty and rip up the carpet in the hall and then scrape the wallpaper off the kitchen...it's just me and I am in the mood to destroy, rip and shred something...NOT in the mood to fix. So this weekend will be demolition weekend. I'll fix another time
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I'm still worrying and taking care of things for my mother though I moved her to an ALF 5 months ago. She just went back after a 5 day stay at the hospital, I took the week and gave up my vacation days just to be at the hospital with her, I had long talks with the ALF's administrator about what I needed to improve in regards to my mother's care. I came home in tears after leaving at the ALF upon hospital discharge, I just wanted to bring her home with me and care for her but I know I can't because in my case I would have to be at least 3 of me to tackle my full time job, my home, marriage and mom, tomorrow I go back to see her and help give her a shower and watch her eat just to make sure...... The caregiver's job wether at home or away from their loved one doesn't stop, that is just how it is.
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Wanting, you did your best for your mom. I’m glad that you know when to draw the line when it’s now way over your head. It’s great that the NH knows what they’re doing and transferred her to a better environment suited for current needs. This helps alleviate worrying about mom and the guilt for putting her there.

Austin, you can still be the quiet little mouse - who can sure Roar like a tiger when she sees fit to do so. Good for you! =)

Chrissy, with regards to your brother making it seem like he’s doing more for mom in FaceBook. That has happened with me and my bro of next door. I know exactly how you feel. My niece would tell FB that she has to go now to help her aunty change grandma’s pamper. Niece rarely came – yet she was a very diligent helpful niece in her FB. It really really bugs me when someone takes credit for something that they don’t do. And I agree it’s very very difficult to let it go. Especially when they keep posting it, and refreshing our anger at the exaggeration of what they do.

Stillhope – You also have done your best for your mom. I’m glad that you knew when it’s time she went to ALF before caregiving affected your marriage and your job. It’s not like you abandoned her because you’re still going there to help her. Just keep it balanced because it’s so easy to tilt the balance and end up spending too much at ALF and less at home.
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My father has always been into herbal supplements. Before his stroke 2 years ago, he was very good at taking it in intervals. After his stroke, he still continued it. But as his senility progressed, he no longer does it. He now believes he knows best on how many to take (overiding the bottle's instructions), when to take it and that it does not have any side effects of mixing with other supplements.

So, the result is very bad itchy hives. All over his body, even on his face. And still refuse to believes it's the supplements. It's been a struggle this past year but I always told myself that eventually he would reach the forgetful stage. Yes! He finally did. We have weaned him down drastically due to his forgetfulness. And because of this, he rarely gets hives.

Yesterday, the home care nurse visited to do his vitals. My dad has a tray table next to his bed within his reach. On his table, he has like 9 herbal bottles. The nurse starts picking up each bottle and questions my dad. I watched in horror. Because of those bottles, my dad has completely forgotten that we no longer give him any of the pills on that table except 1 bottle.

Then as the nurse started lecturing my dad about all these pills, my dad got angry at the nurse and said that those pills are good. The more the nurse lectured, the more firm my dad became. He ordered me to give him one of the bottle. This pill Does cause him hives. I picked it up and as I passed the nurse, I muttered that my dad is now forgetful and completely forgot about those pills that causes him hives. And now he has reminded my dad about it. I opened the bottle, took out a pill and said, "Dad, this pill looks funny. Look! I think it's spoiled."

The nurse, without skipping a beat, then asked for the bottle. He looks at it, and then said, "This bottle is expired. It expired since 2012! This needs to be thrown." My dad said to throw it. The nurse then picked up another bottle, looked at it, and said, "This is also expired." Dad said to throw it.

This is only a temporary win. Because now he will order more of those pills to replace the old ones. Those pills are not cheap.
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Austin.... glad to see you posting.... but uh, the Please stay on topic has always been there.... for as long as I can remember.... maybe you are just now noticing it....

Ya, AC has exploded.... not like it was 'back in the day' at all.... tons of new people....tho I do wish they would come on and read around..... so many of the same questions being asked over and over......so much info on here now, no reason to not be an informed caregiver.....

Happy you and your honey are still together..... love and hugs..
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Chrissy, my Mom used to ask for sisters all the time. Be patient, it will stop for the most part, eventually. My mom does not ask for sisters much any more. When she does I tell her that she has seen them that day and that they will be back in the morning. Naturally, it isn't true, but makes mom feel so much better. And she won't even remember what I have told her. So, no harm done, in fact the opposite.
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