This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Can you wear a mask and sprinkle something like lavender water on it.
How on earth could you even eat with that smell wafting around the house?
If he keeps this up you will have to buy a hazmat suit!!!!!
Hugs.
Could you take Cujo out and walk her up and down the road to tire her out. tell her the cows are out and you need to go find them. Make her use her walker and you use a cane other wise you will be the one picked up by the paramedicsit isn't time for the full moon again is it?
Today is the begining of your respit so sleep and enjoy.
Work on the plans for your new home nothing like looking forward to something to take your mind off the present.
Hugs - no chocolate for you today - you thought too many bad words you didn't call Cujo the past few nights.
If dad can just sleep a little, I can do a switcharoo on his bottle. Darn, he's putting on his sun glasses. I won't be able to see if he's awake or not. 9pm and I'm soooo tired.
Veronica, my nose doesn't work well. I can only smell something when it gets really stinky. So I was eating but didn't smell it. Only about 5 minutes after I was done, did I smell it so strong. From how hard it was for me to scrub his fingernails, it seems he has touched his poop for a while now. Guess it wasn't sis job to clean him up. Wait for me to get home, find and cook my own dinner. Wash the dishes in the sink, then change his pamper. sigh.....
There are pill reminders that are electronic that will dispense the meds at the appropriate time. Medicare will cover for a nurse to come in and setup the meds for her each week. Your Mom needs more help. Check to see what her insurance will cover and get that setup for her. She obviously needs a higher level of care now.
I feel sad and tired. I say she is my 'mom' (and she is), but it doesn't feel that way. She is someone that burned her bridges with everyone else in life and at this point, I'm just helping someone who doesn't have anyone else.
Sad truth - I lost respect for her so many years ago, didn't like who she was long before any 'diagnosis', and frankly - can't feel any love for her. This feels like a sick nightmare that I can't wake from.
Then his hands were freezing. I bought one of those construction workers gloves that comes as a set. Perfect fit. Now, he's complaining that his ears are freezing. We live in a Pacific island. Where am I going to buy those winter caps? So, I bought a set of 3 defective beanie fleece winter cap for $13.00 in Ebay. I'm hoping it will fit his head and that it won't be too hot for him. If it is, back to searching Ebay and Amazon for an alternative. I have feeling that once we solve the freezing ears, he's going to say that now his nose freezing!
Yesterday, the maintenance man was bushcutting. When he saw me, he stopped as I passed him. When I was over 20 feet away, he started bushcutting. OMG! The sound was so loud, it was hurting my head and my ears. I fled up the stairs, even on the 2nd floor the sound was So LOUD, I was whimpering and hurting in my head. Even when I reached the 3rd floor, the sound was like a huge jackhammer inside my head. I arrived on the top with a pounding headache.
It's not all the time but once in a while these sounds are increased dramatically. Yes, I will need to bring this up on my upcoming doctor's appointment (along with not taking the Lipitor) in September. Maybe I will ask for a referral to see an ENT for this.
So, yes you should see an ENT maybe you have a fixable problem.
Nearly 4 am here so going to try to get some more sleep, not sleeping well this week. Wondering where I go from here.
In cruising thru your texts I can only say … you both ought to get medals… and thank you for sharing, …which makes one feel that " I am not alone "…, gives one ideas on " how to's " … and which gives one the strength to " keep navigating " and lastly gives one insight, as in : " Oh, here I thought I was just being silly, when that sound seemed so loud the other day that I stuck my fingers into my ears, getting some funny looks, as I walked out of that auditorium…yet no-one else seemed to be bothered by the sounds…??? " Maybe I too should see an ENT-specialist…!!!.... Maybe the dizziness I have experienced lately is related to the noise amplification, rather than to the Beta-blocker SEs [side-effects] I am on,… but that is the point… it takes a Doc to sort it out…!!! … Thanks for causing me to think a step further !!!...
Bookluvr… please also check the SEs of your medications online, if you are on a regularly taken med.… that sheet of paper the pharmacy sticks in your bag when you buy meds, is not always all there is to it… In researching my Beta-blocker which comes with a diuretic [HCTZ] I have found out that my B/P might be lowered by that med., but so is the function of my Kidneys due to long-term use of the HCTZ. … If I stop that diuretic [Doc tried to change meds once] I bloat and feel bad within a few days due to reduced kidney-function. And the SEs of Beta-blockers are unbelievable… There is an online blog about this med, based in the UK, which I follow…specifically aimed at "Bisoprolol-users".
…. So I suggest this self-research of your Meds in several sites...before you hit the Doc's office, and write down your symptoms and Q's, to expedite Q+As to the doc, and the understanding of what he answers…
There is another change that I find occurring now…
I have Advantage-type Health-insurance… and I have to ask them about which ENTs they are contracted with, and to choose . --- OR:… I I have to call that ENT I may choose and ask if they are contracted with my Insurance….. I do not need the extra $10.-- cost of a referral, by seeing my PCP beforehand…
My PCP does regular Lab-tests when I show up there, but an ENT will want those tests again. That means double the Lab-fees within a short time-span for me and the insurance - mostly hundreds of $ in total… I think that is one reason why Ins.Co.s have dropped the requirement of referrals… to cut cost of double-tests… as they know each Doc wants his own reliable tests…
I do wish you well and quick improvement …!!!
I had my cataract eye appt yesterday and both eyes qualify under insurance to get corrected. Whew I thought maybe only my left eye. My husband and I decided to spend the extra money for laser cataract surgery and I will also be spending more to have the astigmatism laser surgery with toric lenses. Included in this very costly surgery is a LASIK treatment to further tweak my vision after the cataract surgery. The doctor believes that I should be able to see long distance without glasses and perhaps OTC reading glasses. Tuesday is my exam for the laser measurements and I also need a physical within a week of surgery despite having one a month ago. Left eye surgery is 9/10.
I had been mentioning this to dad which I know he forgets but when I told him last night when I visited with him he volunteered his help like mowing the lawn or anything and then said he probably should stay where he is until all surgeries are done. funny guy!
I picked him up this morning and we ran some errands and stopped and bought him some new Green Bay Packer football clothes and had lunch which he had a couple beers before I bought him back to AL. He seems to be adjusting well there still only 2 men which I wish there was at least another. My bad move is I ran out of his checks so I have to go online to his bank account to figure out how to pay next months AL costs.
57twin - It's great news that both eyes' surgery is covered. I also hope the lasek surgeries come out successful.
DHil - thanks for the advice.
Ha! I caught dad digging his hand inside the pants. He snuck a look at me while digging in. I only looked up because I smell poop and looked up in time to see his hand inside.
My challenge is trying to figure out how to reach the top walls. I will need to find a sturdy chair to stand on. I'm afraid of heights. I cannot step on the 2nd rung of a ladder. Just stepping on the first step, and my legs start shaking. So, I'm still brainstorming. BUT, This morning, I finally realized that I'm going to have to Pay one of my numerous nieces or nephews to do it. With my fear of heights and my neck pain, there's no way I can do this without ending up with severe neck pain and hence severe headache. So, that is my game plan on attacking the mold - buy gloves and mop, pay someone to do the work.
Now if you're thinking about cleaning your mom's home, heck NO!!! I'd rather stand by and watch you do it - as in show me the ropes. I'll take notes so I know just how you like things done. =)
Yes, I will definitely need to tell my doc about the mold. Now, I cannot get the smell of mold off my nose. I hope it's not because the mold is now clinging to my body while I slept. I'm going to use the wipes to wipe my legs and arms down. The smell is bugging me like crazy.
My new tablet Lenovo charges very quickly (about an hour if completely drained) maybe there is a super duper charger that will work faster?