This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Beware of the flu shot. All night with the headache, ringing right ear that both seems to increase in volume. Now it's 630am and right side face is stuffed up. and nausea is beginning. I feel so queasy. I need to get up and throw up. I can't hold it in. I hate doing that since I have an empty stomach.
I'm home sick. 945am and trying to eat carefully so that I don't lose my food. My tastebuds are gone. The chicken soup has no taste. I even sprinkled salt and still no taste. Eat, take another excedrin and go back to sleep. I did not turn on the air con in my bedroom and only have 1 window opened, and I was so cold, I fell asleep covered in my fleece blanket. What a wasted day today is....
Dad and I had outing to farmers mkt, costco, lunch and an antique tractor show!
Tomorrow is 2nd eye surgery cannot wait as vision really off since I haven' t been able to wear glasses with only the right lens.
My sis is in the state and will come over on Sunday to surprise dad Sunday- we will go out to dinner as she flys out Monday.
Dad seems to be doing well I know he likes the weekend outings!
57twin, great that your sister is visiting and taking the time to spend with your father. I'm glad that he still enjoys the outings. And I wish you well with your 2nd eye surgery.
What is the difference between the pediatric and adult version? I ask because you have an adult nose. It doesn't seem like it would be that different.
I had a pounding headache all day. I took Motrin after breakfast which didn't work much. I then went to my dental appointment for cleaning - headache got worse. I'm scared of any dental work. I kept tensing, had to force myself to relax, then tensed again. Headache got worse. I kept worrying that I might have to throw up and how do I jump off the seat when I'm practically almost upside down? Went to eat lunch which eased the headache.. until I stopped eating. Then it came back with a vengeance. So, I this time I took the Tylenol sinus pain pill. That helped tone down my headache... until I heard music.
I got up and went to the center court. Performing this afternoon was the South Korean Navy Band. A lot of young Navy people - male and female. Most of them looked like they just graduated from high school. The navy band was like more than 10 members on the stage. They played some classical music, their country's music. ... And I heard in person - 2 men who sang like those people in TV - Opera! Well, they sang in such high notes/voices. How such a deep sound can come out of their small form? I heard someone say that they're singing in Spanish. Wow... After a while, their high notes singing made my headache unbearable. They did the gangnam style dance, and some judo/karate kind of stunts with breaking of wood, etc.... I was so entertained but had to keep going away because the volume was too loud. My poor head. When it was done, I realized that I truly enjoyed myself and was so glad that I stayed for hours watching them.
Not even 11pm and I'm so tired. I will be calling it for the day. Hope you all have a good day today. I'm hitting the sack.
Veronica, it could be our livingroom air con. It needs flushing. Thanks.
Eye surgery went well bit more sore but vision is better already!
Tamma and Joe, welcome to this great site. :) Post away! That's what it's here for.
I was going to say something and got distracted with the mold. Oh, yeah, update on dad. He is now - like almost daily - complaining that someone is taking his money. His tax refund. Which came in, I showed it to him (because he kept asking if it came in), then told him that I was going to deposit it. He doesn't remember and wants his money now. I really don't want to withdraw the $1,000 so that he gives to everyone who asks for money. Oldest sis is NOT filling out the receipt book when dad gives out money. Even though I told her how important it is to keep track of all his money. That what I give him, she's responsible to track because when questioned, she needs back-up. It's not working.
Well, after all those years caring for my mom and now facing the real world, I've come to the conclusion that I'm doomed.
This is the only site on line that I'm on where I'm not in trouble. It seems that I'm always shocking and outraging people and pissing them off. These people are anywhere from 20-something to their 70's. It confounds me every time I'm confronted with yet another person whose feelings I've somehow hurt, or the angry comments back to me after a post about how 'mean' I am. O_O
Ahhh, the good old days...where you could call a spade a spade and not get reamed for being insensitive. I've been slapped with so many labels I've lost count.
I got jumped on yesterday because of a comment I made in a discussion. Evidently, I'm 'mean' and 'heartless' because I couldn't seem to dredge up any sympathy for the rabid human monsters sitting on death row. The question was whether or not it's morally right to stoop to the level of a killer by killing them.
I don't see a problem with that.
People put down rabid dogs. If someone is a DNA proven beyond ANY doubt, to be a slavering, insane killing machine, put him in front of a firing squad for all I care.
I asked if a killer had tried to rip off the face of a loved one, would they be so quick to have compassion and sympathy?
One woman jumped in there, and she's in her 70's and said that of COURSE she would! Hate and vengeance were corrosive.
I said in my neck of the woods, if someone tried to torture me and mine and harm us, hate and vengeance would feel pretty damn good.
I'm mean because I'm not showing enough understanding toward monsters. And I got that from quite a few people.
Yup. Doomed.
Ahhh, feels better to get out a little of that frustration. In this world, except here, I'm just going to keep my mouth shut. If I open it, it's a sure fire guaran-damn-tee that I'll be offending someone.
Well, after all those years caring for my mom and now facing the real world, I've come to the conclusion that I'm doomed.
This is the only site on line that I'm on where I'm not in trouble. It seems that I'm always shocking and outraging people and pissing them off. These people are anywhere from 20-something to their 70's. It confounds me every time I'm confronted with yet another person whose feelings I've somehow hurt, or the angry comments back to me after a post about how 'mean' I am. O_O
Ahhh, the good old days...where you could call a spade a spade and not get reamed for being insensitive. I've been slapped with so many labels I've lost count.
I got jumped on yesterday because of a comment I made in a discussion. Evidently, I'm 'mean' and 'heartless' because I couldn't seem to dredge up any sympathy for the rabid human monsters sitting on death row. The question was whether or not it's morally right to stoop to the level of a killer by killing them.
I don't see a problem with that.
People put down rabid dogs. If someone is a DNA proven beyond ANY doubt, to be a slavering, insane killing machine, put him in front of a firing squad for all I care.
I asked if a killer had tried to rip off the face of a loved one, would they be so quick to have compassion and sympathy?
One woman jumped in there, and she's in her 70's and said that of COURSE she would! Hate and vengeance were corrosive.
I said in my neck of the woods, if someone tried to torture me and mine and harm us, hate and vengeance would feel pretty damn good.
I'm mean because I'm not showing enough understanding toward monsters. And I got that from quite a few people.
Yup. Doomed.
Ahhh, feels better to get out a little of that frustration. In this world, except here, I'm just going to keep my mouth shut. If I open it, it's a sure fire guaran-damn-tee that I'll be offending someone.
comonsense is sadly lacking in this world and people fail to see that failing to act will condem us to being ruled by insane psychopaths.
Why not start a blog to relieve you feelings. Some people make a career of being outraged, it makes them feel important rather than putting the effort into something where they can influence for the good.
Your opinion is your opinion just that, you are entitled to that as are others to theirs. If someone chooses to take offence that is their problem not yours. Correcting a mistake or offering helpful suggestions serves a far better purpose. Keep on speaking up SA at least it wakes a few people up and maybe just maybe makes them think a tiny bit.
On that same forum, some 25 year old, still living at home, not working, not doing squat, the parents paying all their bills and supporting them 100% financially and providing them with a roof, was complaining and 'poor me'ing' about how 'lousy' their life was, how 'wrong' and shitty in a 100 ways the parents were for not buying them a car and 'verbally abusing' them by calling them a 'lazy ass' and how none of it was at all 'fair.
I almost spewed my coffee all over the computer.
I mentioned some different options for getting them on their feet....and ended up with my post deleted and a warning for 'disrespecting someone's feelings' and was also informed that it was 'inappropriate' to tell someone that they were wrong.
O_O
Seriously?
I like being alone for a reason. The less contact with humanity the better.
I
I expect someone's already explained ISIL. Anyway, it's lovely to hear from you! Keep on annoying 'em ;)
ISIL, also known as I.S., at least until we all think up a more censorious name for them, is the Iraq and Syria Islamic something-or-other - it's a populist terrorist movement which has succeeded in occupying an alarmingly large swathe of territory straddling the (extremely extensive) border between Northern Syria and Western Iraq. Hobbies include bravely beheading Western captives on incensingly spurious grounds, raping women and murdering anyone who doesn't cheer when they pass by and sign up for an Islamic Caliphate (a more extreme version of what they set up in Iran). Unfortunately we have been accidentally arming them in recent months. Oops. The newly elected Iraqi government has asked the US to provide air support to help deal with them before they get to Baghdad. It's complicated. Somebody's got to.The Saudi government has an enormous armed air fleet but apparently - don't swallow this whole - its pilots lack combat training and experience so they're not coming, they're just waving hankies to wish us luck. Turkey is a highly advanced military power, and a member of NATO what's more, but they're probably not keen on assisting the Kurds (whom they've been suppressing, not without reason to be fair, for many many decades), and probably even less keen on pissing off the Russians.
I can't go on. It is a right buggers' muddle, which would have hilarious Keystone Cops overtones if people weren't being horribly killed in horribly large numbers and in horrible, horrible ways. We should all be screaming.
Interesting comments about the other websites. I hate these political correct things. That's why the world is so messed up. Too much babying people, and not enough 'tough love' or 'straight talks'.