The Caregiver... How are YOU doing today?

Tex, wow. You're a much stronger (bolder) person than I am. You definitely are setting boundaries. For someone who is winging it, you're good at it. I'm cheering you on.

Pamzit.... I chuckled. All best laid plans tend to go wrong. I hope you were able to persuade them to go to sleep in their usual time.

Book research "Irritable bowel syndrome" Not accepted by main stream medicine yet but it has given me a lot of answers. i have started eating Activia yogurt three times a day and I am much improved, more strength, less pain, more motivated. I have been asleep for the past year. Begining to hate the yogurt though.

Book that newborn out to love those Tony Roma's ribs! Sorry, but thanks for the laugh!

Glad..was I that obvious? Fave sis took 2wks off to help with the newborn. I really wanted to visit fave sis but suddenly remembered in that 3hour visit yesterday how often that baby cried..loud. I guess where newborns are involved, they can be breasfed as often every time they cry. I realized I'd be spending my afternoon hearing that loud pitch crying.

The sad thing is...fave sis asked me when's my next week off. I said first week of December. She said good, she would be back at work. I can help with the baby. {Gulp} Uhm..I don't want to spend my vacation week with a high pitched crier who would learn by that time, that crying gets results: food, pamper change and to be carried.

Veronica, I've been meaning to do that. Ever since my complication hysterectomy, it has affected me. Before the surgery, I was struggling to do#2. After the surgery, if I don't go immediately to do#2 (at work or changing dad's pampers), I get severe abdominal pain. And the pain increases until I "go".

Night. I'm tired and still need to spray the nostrils.

bookluvr, I am also lactose intolerant, and so is my Dad. But it's been hard to convince my parents that ice cream is also dairy, so is yogurt, cottage cheese, regular cheese, grated cheese, cream cheese, and ranch dressing, .

My Mom is from the old school "a little bit won't hurt".... ah, yes, Mom, a little bit WILL hurt. She cannot connect the lines, whenever Dad eats this stuff, he has to make a run for the bathroom, and sometimes he doesn't make it in time... oops.

I have gotten Dad lactose free ice cream, as Gladimhere had mentioned above, the coconut ice cream, especially with almonds, is sooooo good :) But my parents don't want to pay the higher price for that type of ice cream. Where's my helmet?

Have been there in trying to convince parents what to eat and not eat. Now my mother has gotten herself in such a fix. She too is lactose intolerant, and will only take this Medic drink it is like ensure and the stuff gives her diarrhea, the rehab she is in gives her Imodium or Pepito to counteract the diarrhea and upset stomach. My Mom does not think she can eat normal food and it causes her to gag. Sh started doing that when they have started giving her all her meds at once in the morning and the taste of the meds as she takes them cause her to choke or gag. I think she associates with her food. She keeps saying she cannot eat or feel like eating. Have started getting her to try things for me. The rehab nurses have also been giving her something stimulate her appetite now. I am all she has beside my sister who visits and stays with her 3-5 hours a day. This is while she has had to be in Rehab.

Lynnemk have they considered investigating Mom for "Dysphagia" (swallowing difficulty) As many elders develope lactose intolerence it is well worth removing it from the diet. Chocolate almond milk has a very pleasant taste and slips down easily - worth a try. Eliminate all comercially prepared foods from her diet and don't give things like chicken nuggets that are loaded with fats. Feed as much fish as possible along with mashed potatoes or rice and a well cooked vegetable. Serve only wild caught fish such as salmon and don't use commercial sauce with it. Any fresh fruit should be peeled. Any pureed foods like apple sauce are good.
Her medications can be given with food which will make them easier to swallow. Have her take a mouthful of soft food and add a couple of pills and have her swallow. make sure she always has a drink available when she eats.
She can be easily investigated for any swallowing difficulties it is just a question of swallowing a little barium while they watch it on x-ray. They can also give her diferent textures of food and watch again on x-ray as it is swallowed. very simple painless proceedures absolutely nothing to worry about and yes I have had them done myself.

Book do what the Eskimos do and strap the baby to your body. You never hear one of those infants crying. She will feel your heart beating and feel safe like in her mama's tummy. It is lonely out in the big world. I was going to say cold but you dont have that problem. If she keeps up the crying have fave neice take her to the pediatrician. She may not be getting enough milk or have a belly ache.

Veronica91 Thanks for the tip she likes fish, she is not known to eat mcnuggets, They give her good food in Rehab, real chicken and turkey, rice she is not a fan of, she likes her vanilla pudding, I talked to her tonight says she is trying to eat somethings they bring. She is on a limited fluid diet and salt she is on lasex for he fluid in the lungs, she has had the scope on her stomach and does have acid reflux issues, hyertal hernia etc.. So several problems going on. Thanks for your suggestions.

Book, some babies get acid reflux which isn't very comfortable for them. If the crying is something other than regular baby crying [their only way to communicate] it something to have checked out.

Well as its the weekend and hubs is at deer camp, and Mom wont pay the "babysitter" on the weekends... the last 2 days they have been "home alone" for 14 hours.... And it seems to have gone well for them (not that Mom would tell me if it didn;t..LOL) At least tomorrow the CG will be here for 5 hours. Then I am off for 6 days and hubs will be back home Wed by the time the relatives arrive!! They were both still asleep when I left (normally mom is awake by 330 am). So I was a bit worried until I called at 10 to see if they were OK.. And found out my wonderful hubs had called at 730 to check too! But I did find a candy wrapper in the ashtray.. so it seems for the first time ever dad got up and came downstairs in the night.. but he got himself back and didn't bother the doors or anything. Probably got bored by himself.. he won;t go anywhere without Mom or I. I am just hoping this is not going to be a new issue.

As I was finishing changing dad's pamper tonight at 10pm, I said that I'm going to shower, then afterwards, we will have ice cream. I got distracted here on AC. And was just finishing an article. When my dad asked me the 2nd time, "Have you showered yet?" I guess I better go and shower now. He wants his ice cream.

P.S... I have never woken up in the morning with both nostrils working. I have always woken up with either side stuffed up. I'm just amazed how an antihistamine and a nasal spray can just open up my airways. I wonder... do you think I will also eventually be able to start smelling things (aromas.) My sense of smell is mostly gone. Once in a blue moon, I would put on the Cherry Blistex and can actually smell it! That's so rare, though. I'm soooo hoping if I continue with the pills and spray, that my sense of smell will come back. I never realized how my sinus was clogging up my nose until now. It is just amazing. Every time I woke up this past few mornings, I actually stop, inhale deeply and just enjoy the ability to do that.

So I tried posting last night at 3:30 am but my phone somehow deleted it. Mom has been in the hospital since Saturday night and this is the first break I have had. I have been spending every night there and came home to shower and I need to go back. Mom has pneumonia. The doctor of course came in when I left. Anyway he says the mom will be able to go home probably tomorrow. Her sundowners has been so bad that I am almost hysterical. I hope it has to do with her illness and that she is in a unfamiliar place. She was so bad last night that I had to ask the nurse for two different tranquilizers and something to sleep. It was very scary and it breaks my heart when she is afraid. Anyway I have to get back before dark. Barb

Oh the tranquilizers were for mom, however I could have used them. lol

This first part of the week is the busiest of the year at the bakery I work at and one of the girls did not show nor did she call or answer her phone this morning. So I stayed a bit longer and will have to as well the next couple of days. Youth have no sense of responsibility nowadays. So have running through the grocery store and the spice store I was unable to see Dad before the snow started. I did stop in yesterday but it made me a bit sad as he wanted me to see the photos of his girls before I left, one of course was me as a young child.

Fligirl, isn't it infuriating when you really want to speak to a doctor and it's always a case of "oh no! - you've JUST missed him!" Honestly, I swear they hide round a corner and wait 'til your back's turned…

I have, ever, had results from leaving my contact number and asking in my nicest and sweetest voice if the doctor could possibly give me a ring 'when he's not too busy.' It varies, of course. With some of them it'd be easier to get hold of the Dalai Lama.

57twin, the little girl your father recognises is still you. He's just gone back a bit. Would it help to think of him as he was then, too? It is sad, hugs.

fligirl58, hope your Mom will be feeling better. I think it is quite normal for someone in the hospital to feel a bit confused. My Dad thought he was in a hotel over night.

Book, you and the Pampers, you might not want your sense of smell back ;)

When my dad was in the hospital (both times), he thought he was at home. Because he didn't see me, he thought I was downstairs in my room. The thing is, we don't have a 2-story home. It's flat. But, I remember when I was around age 4 or 5, we lived on the beachside. Because we were on the beachside, our home was on stilts (which the chickens stayed underneath). I remember walking up the wooden steps to go into the house.

Hmmm... the lack of smelling things is a Plus when changing his pampers. I can tell his pamper is really really bad - even if I cannot smell it. Because I would keep sneezing the minute I open up his pamper. When done, my face is all clogged up and I have to blow my nose. I told dad that I'm allergic to changing pampers.

I was hoping that I would be off on Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. Unfortunately both bosses are going off-island. So, I work. I guess that means I work also on Saturday. All well.... I've been taking off early since it's slow at work. So, my paycheck is going to be less than usual. I'm able to pay off 2 credit cards. I'm down to one left. I got it down from $1500 to $800.00. Plus my $7000.00 loan.

Has anyone ordered any of Dave Ramsey's money managing books? I love to listen to his radio show - when I shower. I'm thinking of ordering one of his CD's on how to straighten my spending habits. If I get a CD version, then I can play it in the car when I'm driving to/from work. But I don't want to order the wrong CD money tip. I'm really trying to cut back on my shopaholic tendency. Very hard. Had some backsliding. But.. I'm doing good on the spending. I need to check my cash flow. To see if I have extra for tomorrow's splurge at Tony Roma's.

My other fave niece (shares the same mother as fave niece...meaning fave sis is their mother) is taking courses to be a nurse. Before she started classes, she always wanted to be a nurse in the military. Now that she's taking the classes, the exams, and clinicals at clinics, old people's home, the hospice place and the hospital, she has changed her mind. She told her mom that she's now leaning towards geriatric nursing. She feels soooo sorry for the old people at the hospital. She told her mom that it's as if they are just thrown there and just left alone. She sees the difference of how the staff treats the children ward, maternity ward, recovery ward and the geriatric ward. I believe it. My dad had to fight hard for the ER and the hospital doctor to properly treat mom. Their cure all was to pump as much antibiotics without trying to find the Cause. After 3 days, the doctor was going to release mom with a diagnosis, after being pumped with antibiotics. My dad refused. He asked the doctor if they even tested her urine. Nope. They tested it. She had UTI. Over and over, this is what he had to do. Advocate for her.

Oops.. they were going to release mom Without a diagnosis. They treated her symptoms but not the cause. One would think doctors would automatically test elderly people's urine for UTI. Instead of mom spending 3 days at the hospital and then to be released without finding the cause.

Book, we have geriatric nurse practitioners at some of the geriatric clinics in our area, as well as physician's assistants. The GNP and PA are all wonderful and obviously love their jobs. I would rather have my Mom see them than her doctor many times. Doctor seems so rushed sometimes.

Book it would be wonderful if other fave niece went into geriatric nursing but before she does that she needs to do several years of med/surg nursing to really learn about diseases and the treatments available to younger people. If she has diagnostic skills at her fingertips she will be much more effective in advocating for her elderly patients. She should also remember that there is a much higher likehood of burnout when working with the elderly especially in long term care.
As you well know taking care of an elder requires many special skills and even after all these years you are still learning of new ways to handle things.
Encourage her to continue to her BSN if affordable because it is required more and more and better paid than a RN with an associates degree. After that if she can become a geriatric NP she can really make a difference. So many nurses settle into caring for old people. quickly burn out and become the "don't care get through the shift" people so frequently encountered.
Time in the military would be a good way to go for a few years because she would be able to get all the training she needs to achieve her goals probably at no cost.

She's really good in her courses and clinicals. She studies hard because the person in charge of the course has this thing against single mothers. She had stated in the beginning of the course that not one single mother ever passed her course. Niece must pass the course because it's a program under the military college program. This instructor obviously picks on her. Teaches or disciplines her contrary to what she taught in class. Embarrasses her in her clinicals in front of the hospital staff, etc. Niece says that everyone is afraid of her instructor. No one is willing to interfere with this obvious picking on her. My sister works in the vocational college that my niece is attending these nursing classes. Sis' coworker noticed how upset my sis was. The closer the final exams came, the more aggressive the instructor is - writing demerits for every infraction. Niece said that her classmate - in clinicals in the children's ward did something that was contrary to what was on the chart and their in-class training. The child almost died. Yet, the instructor didn't treat her like she treats my niece for a simple infraction that was NOT life threatening. Everyone in my sis' family are stressed out because we all know that the instructor is trying to get niece to fail the class. Remember, No Single Mother ever passed her class. Niece has reached the point that she's hiding at clinicals but the instructor always call her name to be with. Niece said that she even did the hospital protocal - and her instructor - at the hospital - lectured her for doing it wrong and that this is the way to do it. Niece obeyed her instructor. The hospital nurse later walked in, saw that the hospital protocol was not followed and lectured niece. Niece spoke up and said the instructor said to do it this way. The nurse shut up. No One is willing to go against this instructor. So, sis' coworker is part of this program but higher up. But he said that niece must put a formal complaint of what is happening. Then they will investigate. Niece refuses. She's so close to the end - she doesn't want to rock the boat. My sister told her coworker - how many single mothers has this instructor made quit the program? Because if niece doesn't pass this course, then she will go to the university. Why give business to the university (military funding program) if the vocational college can get it? So right now, we all are NOT hopeful she will pass. If my niece passes, I promised myself that I will treat her out - either us girls (no boys) - or just her and boyfriend and daughter. Whatever she wants. Because she survived the classroom course, the clinicals and her instructor who is trying to sabotage her from passing the course. It's very stressful. Even now, as I'm typing this, my stress level has gone up.

Veronica, the sad thing about this? My niece said that in all honesty, she is better at nursing than her classmates. They make so many mistakes compared to her. When the instructor tries to show her as lacking in knowledge, niece is able to answer back correctly. When she finally gets it wrong, the instructor jumps at it to put her down. What's worse, the woman is a local. But she has this major chip on her shoulder against single mothers being a nurse.

Thanks for the tip. I will tell her. I once - while online - found a blog from a nurse. I texted niece the website. That's the site where I found out what the home nurse never told me about dad's catheter. The bag not on the floor, swabbing the tip, etc... That same site also had how to change the hospital bedsheet, etc.. I thought niece might be interested in it.

How'm I doin'? Lessee ... Edna's doing well .. hasn't had a UTI in almost four months, which is a record, she's talking more and more about wanting to go home to daddy and mommy in North Carolina. She can't remember that she's in SoCal, lived in the same house for 35 years, or her husband's name and how old she is. But it's a gentle and soft decline. I'm grateful for all our sakes.

I'll be eligible for SSI in June ... maybe I'll be able to save $$ for a car. Yay.

Meanwhile, my dad's wife of 25+ years suddenly died a few weeks ago, so I've been spending my days off with him to help him transition a little. He's doing ok at 86, but is so prideful that he's refusing some common sense assistance. *sighs* He's grieving his loss, of course, and I have to rein in my enthusiasm that she passed before he did. She was a narcissist of the highest order and I couldn't stand her.

And I'm fighting breast cancer. Ugh. I'm going the natural route. All my research indicates that it's my greatest chance. I have a 'long haul' ahead. And I've never looked forward to my future more. Go figure.

LadeeC, you're right, breast cancer is a long haul... been there, done that, recently threw away the t-shirt. You mentioned the "natural route".... does that mean pushing aside all the meds and trying something different, such as the macrobiotic diet?

So Mom is coming home today, she is going to be on oxygen 24/7 now. I knew she had a bit of emphysema but they said she has COPD as well. I am hoping her confusion gets better when she gets here. My sister actually came up today and is going to stay the night, of which I am very grateful. I am exhausted so I am going to take the night off and let her handle whatever. Still trying to have our Thanksgiving on Sunday. I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving and appreciate you all being here to listen. Happy Thanksgiving!!

CM I was telling the nurse this morning about what you said about the doctor hiding around the corner. She actually laughed. Thanks you guys. Hugs to everyone.

Freq ... yep ... it means exactly that. I don't, personally, practice western medicine, at all. So, it's my primary option. With a few other things tossed into the mix like doing QiGong. It's all good: I take it as my body being demanding that I do better. Ok. Message heard, loud and clear. Though I'm doing Thanksgiving whole hog, lol.