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LadeeC, good for you, hope everything goes well :)

After 4 years of being on the anti-hormonal meds, I gave up on them... the side effects had done too much damage.... I rather live a more quality life than a lousy longer life.

A former co-worker of mine [I had since left the company] refused any western meds, too... she did the macrobiotic diet and for her her stage 4 cancer disappeared for the past 20+ years... she also had her hubby on the same diet as he also had cancer and he was doing great until he got off the diet and his cancer came back. Makes you wonder what in the world are we eating that is killing us.
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Short message since typing one finger on the kindle while lying down. LadeeC!!! In the past 2days, I've been thinking of you. Was even fighting myself to send you a HUG. One side said that you will post when you post. The other side just misses you so much. {{{HUGS}}}

My heart dropped at the word cancer. I know of only one person who did the natural route when he got diagnosed with cancer. Husband and wife researched and they completely changed their lifestyle and eating habits. They went into herbals and avoided food that fed the cancer. He is still here today.

My ten year old niece and others have gone through the radiation route. Weakened her, lost weight, couldn't keep anything in, and her body just gave up. Her last thoughts in the end was misery.. She could not stop throwing up even when there was nothing to throw up. Her body just couldn't take it. They found the cancer too late. Hospice care would have been preferable, in hindsight.

Omg!! I better get up. Dad is grunting. And now I smell poop wafting in the air. I looked at him. His hand is inside his pants. Darn it!!! It's going to be a mess. 7am. Later...
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Hubs and his 91 yo father came home from deer camp early as they are calling for snow, and he can't handle packing it all up and his dad in the snow..I'm glad they are back and safe! Went to do the last minute turkey day shopping (3 stores) and what a mess! This snow report has everyone out early ( yes that means me too...LOL) Found out the fav cousin and her hubs who were bringing my aunt down and staying over are not coming now because he went to deer camp... I was really looking forward to some facetime and catching up. Oh well. But there goes my desserts.. so frozen ready to bake pies it is. Another of my cousins is bringing her here, so at least we'll get a few days of mom and aunt enjoying each other, and I am taking them to the casino on black friday..LOL. So it is what it is... Hope you all have a great holiday!!
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Pmzimmrrt, if I remember correctly, you and I live near the same metro area [Washing DC/Baltimore].... all one needs to do is just whisper *snow* and that sets off the panic buying :)
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DC/Baltimore are legendary for shutting down and panic at a snow forecast. But, I suppose with so many people and that darn beltway it must be awful! My DIL was working in Reston, I think, living in Centerville, and took six hours in one storn a few years ago. Abandoned cars everywhere so no place for anybody to go!
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Gladimhere, oh I remember that storm.... yes, cars were abandoned everywhere. This area is so diverse with folks from all over the world, therefore, many never learned to drive in the snow. Your DIL probably commuted on Route 66 which is another major highway, and that highway can come to a crawl even in the rain.

I was originally from upstate New York where one learned to drive in blizzards. But since I have been living here in the DC metro area for decades now, I have learned to panic along with everyone else :P

Right now we are having our first snow of the season.... it's coming down in quarter size clumps of snow. This is real early for us as we usually don't even have snow until after Christmas.
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W e are getting a major snowstorm here also in The lower Hudson Valley-may get up to 10 inches-can't get out-have to do housework instead.
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Since early went out every hour or so to clean off my son's car-he used mine to go to work-this way it was easier to clean of-I usually wait until afternoon to clean off the car-it is still snowing and just above freezing.
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Yes Ff, we live in the same area, but I am very rural. I am from Pa, so I know snow! Luckily we didnt get much today, and another cousin brought my Aunt down,, said it was bad to Harrisburg but good from there on. My MOm and her sister are having a great visit so far.. one with a glass of wine and one with a cocktail.. Hubs and I are keeping dad entertained..LOL Looking forward to a good day tomorrow.. fingers crossed
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It's Thanksgiving day today. 11am. Nice and sunny with a breeze. Fave sis and her family just arrived and bringing in the food. Our house has 3 entrance/exit doors. One thru the livingroom, and the kitchen has 2 exits -front and back. Between the kitchen and livingroom is cement wall with a closed door which can be locked on both sides of the door. (Dad installed locks on the kitchen door because mom was sundowning at the time.)

I was in the livingroom when niece came in. She went out. I then went to the kitchen to help out. Niece came in the kitchen. Walked out. I went back into the livingroom. Niece came back in via the livingroom entrance. Then went right back out. I then went back into the kitchen. Niece came back in via the kitchen entrance door. Then went out. I then went back in the livingroom, typing in the laptop. She opens the livingroom door, pauses and stares at me. I looked at her.

She said, "Gees, Aunty, every time I enter, you're in the room. Kitchen, livingroom, kitchen..."
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Today went ok. I had thought of taking two vehicles to my SIL's but didn't. About 1:30 dad was getting anxious about going back home. Tried to distract with the football game and watching the grand nieces and nephews running around which worked for a while but he was real quiet. Then started asking how we were getting home, where was the plane coming to land ?? Finally 3:20 I told him we would leave at 4 pm which seemed to calm him down. When mom was alive they didn't venture out after dark so driving home was ok though. Whew. Got back to AL in time for a later light supper and I brought back some pie he could eat as he did not have any for lunch. Sort of PO'd at hubby as he ignored dad the entire time at his sisters house as he did not want him to come in the first place. Will have to think hard about having did come with us for Christmas Eve though my sister will be here so it may go better..
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My day went great! Mom and Aunt are having a great visit, Hubs and I kept dad occupied, and daughter came for several hours. Since we prepped all the food yesterday today was very relaxing. In laws called, no idea when they were supposed to be at BIL house for dinner ( no surprise there...LOL). But with only 6 of us here it was wonderful! Much calmer than Chirstmas when I end up with 20! Maybe this year will be better as niece got married and may have her family at her house. I love the kids.. but less is less stress!
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I am hurting! Hurting because I see my mother with dementia and a bad heart condition and there is nothing I can do. Hurting because I see my mother as a zombie. An empty shell. Breathing, but no real life. Hurting, because plans are being made to place her in long term care. Because of her condition I believe it's time for professional care 24/7. There is hurt and guilt!
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Chick, we all will be where you are at some point, if we haven't already. Thinking of you and Mom at this difficult time.
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chick, you did the best that you can do with your mom. You helped your mom as far as you possibly can. You were and are still there for her. It's just that your mom needs 24/7 care that you're not able to provide, even if you're willing - you know your limitation and what's best for everyone involved. You're Not abandoning her. She just needs more care that professionals can do in shifts. Remember, you will still need to advocate for her in the facility. I'm so sorry. I read your words and I feel such sadness. {{{HUGS}}}
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So much hurt for you chick but be comforted that Mom does not understand what is happening. She will settle in her new "Home" and you will be able to visit her. She may not recognize you but on some level she will know you and just being there will be a comfort to her. Do not regret what you can not do just do what you can. Familiar things work best. A soft lap robe , her favorite scent. Don't leave the scent but put it on her when rvrt you visit. it will give a warm and cosy sensation when she is alone. A soft toy is also comforting and some patients respond well to a baby doll and may spend hours changing it's clothes and rocking it. None of us knows how the end of our lives will be so your job now is to make sure she is properly cared for. try and visit at different times of the day so you get to know all the staff and be friendly and helful. offer to feed her, push her outside for a while things like that. the odd plate of cookies for the nurses station never does any harm either.
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Such a daunting task when we get to the final days of ones life, no one ever knows what the end will bring seems more and more we see this state of lingering, barrage of medicines and caregivers over and over. It is difficult to knowing what the outcome will finally be. Yet we are dedicated to our loved one, and rightly so. Again we must remember they cared for us while we grew up with another type of unknown. So we wait as long as it takes for they cared for us.
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Chick, my heart goes out to you for I am feeling your pain. My 93 yr old Momma is getting out of hand. A little more each day. She is talking out of her head. She doesn't know real anymore. It started last week. She wants to fuss all night about crazy stuff she makes up, crazy stories. In the daytime she wants to sleep. She will get up to take her meds three times a day and wants to go right back to bed. She keeps me up all night. She can't hardly stand up and tries to unlock the wheels on the wheelchair to push it. She has a low pulse rate and struggles to do anything. She takes the last of her nitrofuranoin today for her infection. I can't hold her up with out my back hurting. I need to lift her for everything, eating, for the potty and getting back in bed, etc. They say I can get hospice to help me because of her age. I plan to take her to the doctor to get his evaluation. Hoping to get a hoist lift of some kind and hospice help before I croak. I am 68 and stressed to the max. She keeps getting UTI's and skin problems. She has arthritis, high blood pressure and dementia. She is bowed in her back pretty bad. I feel so sorry for her but she is mean about her fiction tales and tries to make me run outside and fine her friends. I am trying to deal with this but she is very slick when it comes to this. She can barely talk in the daytime but at night she is a lion roar. I have no help and I take care of my husband with very mild early dementia also. I want to keep her home as long as I can. But this has set me back in my caregiving. I pray I can work my way through it soon and go on to the next curve ball she throws at me.
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You make me feel so much better. I feel for your situation. What is it about night time and seniors. My mother is 84 and I hear from her the next day how difficult the night is she sleeps more during the day, at night things keep her awake the slightest noise or light. I will not spend evenings with her just dread the way she is. She has called cops on her neighbors in her complex for background noise they make in the next apartment. Yet conversations she barely hears. My mother has the back issue but also many stomach problems food causes her burning so she must have Malox or some antacid. Yet she will not follow instructions to sit upright until all is digested after eating. Have you thought of getting a nurses aid to give you a break? Is sounds like you have your hands full.
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Alot of the elderly have issues at night. Think it's known as 'sundowners' (sp?). No matter what anyone says, there IS something to a full moon causing alot of weird behavior, too. You should see what goes on in Mental health institutions during a full moon and I hear in jails and prisons as well--not to mention in nursing homes as well.
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Since Thanksgiving and I overstuffed myself, my health has gone several steps backward. Return with a vengeance my acid reflux and sinus allergy. Sinus allergy from sitting under the outside porch for hours with the winter breeze blowing constantly. We have a large mango tree in front of the porch. I'm allergic to mango. Get it? I was too lazy to go in and take the sinus allergy pill. Now, I'm suffering the consequences. I get too full fast now, bloated feeling. miserable. sigh... teach me a lesson to not over-eat. Now if someone can just sit on my right shoulder and remind me of this again - when it's christmas.

Dad is on antibiotics for his returning UTI. Tonight, he has absolutely refuse to take it. I knew this would happen sooner or later. Before his stroke, he would never ever take any white man's medicine. I was surprised that since his stroke of 2 years ago, he took it. Tonight, he won't take it. I've tried reasoning, warning him of the consequences of not taking it, etc... He won't take it. I will need to remember to leave a note for the home nurse when he/she visits while I'm at work.

I guess I'm stressing and not realizing it? I've been waking up lately so exhausted. It feels as if I haven't slept in a long time. That kind of exhaustion. Weak, foggy brain, very very sleepy and can't think (due to the sinus headaches since yesterday.) I must be stressing big time and don't even know it.

At least I was able to post one comment today. Oh, this makes it 2 comments. Night all.
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P.S...I must be exhausting myself with full time work, then dad, etc.. Our next door neighbor who is renting my brother's house tells me that I'm strong. He sees me come home, and carry as much packages (store) from the car to the house. Today, at lunchtime, he saw me. He said that I'm a very hard worker. The neighbors have seen me in the weekends taking out both regular and recycle trash from the house to the bin. Then lug it from our house all the way down the lane near the public road. Sweeping the porch (it's a long porch with cement floor and wood/tin roofing, open area.)

Sometimes, I wish that oldest sis can just help out a bit. I don't get as frustrated as before. Now that I was made aware of here that she's being passive-aggressive with me. It's her way of getting back at me - for being able to leave the house and not caregive dad for hours from Mon-Friday. I looked at myself in the mirror at nights in the bathroom. My face has aged a lot since dad had his stroke. I think helping him caregive mom since I was age 23 or 24 has taken it's toll on me especially when he had the stroke. We shared the work. With sis and I as tag teams. I feel as if I'm doing the bulk of the work. Where I'm sure that She thinks she's bearing the bulk of caring for dad. Nurse-to-be niece says that the house smells like cigarettes. Oldest sis is now going outside to smoke like 2 or 3am. She never did this before. According to you all, a smoker usually sleeps and has no urge to smoke until she wakes up. Well, lately, she's been smoking at 2-3am every early morning. So, I guess sis is really stressing out, too, from dad's mouth.

Last night, she kept laughing so joyfully, carefree in her bedroom. I was walking behind her when she entered her bedroom, while I was going to the bathroom. The minute she walked in the bedroom and closing the door, she was getting mad at 'someone' in the bedroom. My eyes widened. I tried to listen in. She was getting mad for a while. When i came out of the bathroom, she was laughing, talking. Sigh.... I'm so torn.... Mental problem? Or Boogaloos (spirits)? But you know what
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computer froze, then posted it. later.... have to shower...
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Went to see my Cardiologist today, routine visit. She asked if there is any stress in my life.... yes, the stress is 93 and 97.... she laughed. She's originally from India, her mother and mother-in-law have been living with her and her husband for 28 years, and it worked out well as the Moms use to divvy up the work around the house, helped each other in the kitchen, etc..... that has changed, her Mom and MIL are older and crabby... "they are b*tching about each other" she said.... she is so glad they have a large house where each Mom has their own space.

The doctor made me smile, here she is a successful Cardiologist, and she, too, has elder issues. She said another doctor in the practice is dealing with the same issues with his parents.
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If the moon can affect tides etc why not a person's internal clock.
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You all make me feel better. Misery loves company. I sure can't figure it out. Last night she slept all night and was normal this morning, thank GOD. She is back to being tired and can't keep her up very long. I'm afraid she will get an infection in her lungs from laying in the bed so much. She is so weak now. Everything is an effort, big effort for her. She just said to me this morning are we still here: I said yes this is our home and we have been here 9 years. She said, oh. Not another word? I think she is just tired of everything. I try to get her excited about Christmas. My Grand Daughter is coming home in two weeks with her 10 yr old and the baby Micah, he is 3 months the 10th. She keeps saying did that lady come with the baby? She gets it confused, so I'm not going to say anything else until the day they will arrive. Mommy helped me raise my three girls and my grand daughter and grand son. So she feels very close to them also. I agree with you on the moon. It affects me too. I feel anxiety when it's a full moon. I can't afford a nurse's aid or anything right now. Too many bills to pay off. Before Mommy got sick we bought our grand daughter a car. Now we are trying to catch up.
My grand daughter will help me a lot and I can play with the baby and Lilly, great grand daughter. That will lighten my heart. Sending love to you all! I am so happy she stopped yelling. I shake when she does that. It is nerve racking because I can't figure out how to help her when she doesn't listen to me at those times. Next time I should take her to the hospital to get a shot or a pill. I will call the doctor for sure before I take her.
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LadeeC - I made some pompoms out of junk mail so I can use them to cheer for your battle against the big "C". I was going to say I pulled out my pompoms from my old cheerleading days but that would have been a lie as I was never a cheerleader. I'm going to cheer for you!
There has been a successful cancer battle and a lost battle in my family. I have learned each person is different in their fight. I know you have your boxing gloves on. Start knocking out those bad cancer cells. Sending you a Very Berry Shake!
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Headaches for the past 2 days. I tried reading these used books - mysteries - new authors I've never read before. All 4 books (book 1 in their series) bombed. First book, the character was the murder suspect. She thought she was funny. Made wisecracks constantly. Found her so irritating. Skipped to the end to see 'who dunnit.' //// 2nd book, main character accused of murder. ugh!!! //// 3rd book - main character accused of murder. Ugh!!! //// 4th book - main character's exhusband's fiancee dies - main character accused of murder. Ugh!!!

Don't these authors have IMAGINATION!! Why, oh WHY, must the main character be accused of murder and have to prove their innocence? {{gritting teeth}} In frustration, I grabbed a sci-fi book, chapter opens up with a kick-a** hot female, going into a bar, and arrests the ugly monster bloater. Monster keeps bloating and bloating until he blows itself into smithereen. Yucky goo all over her. And she's pissed off at her 'intel' and the bar owner is 'hot' himself...typical bad guy, etc.. Now THIS is a book. Thank you! Finally, with book number 5.

Dad did not take that same antibiotic he refused lastnight. I came home after work today, and it's still there on his bed. Frustrating....

I need to finish the nasal spray. If my headache continues, the doctor said that I can then make an appointment with the neurologist. After we got all our bases covered, then she will get me a referral for the ENT. I wish we could just bypass the neuro and go to the ENT. These headaches are awful. My whole right side of my head/face (cheeks) are throbbing in pain. Can't take asprin for the pain. Ty
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Tylenol don't work as well as Excedrin or Motrin... later... pamper then shower. Then read that exciting book. =)
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I would just go to the ENT first-start with the simplest -and it would be easier to get an appointment-if your medical is like most they will try to get you to see as many docs as you allow.
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