This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Stand on one leg for 30 seconds - you can hold on if you have to. No more than 15 minutes twice a day. At work tense your legs and then press your knees together. Tense your butt five times while you are on the phone. very gently. You are the tortiose not the hare. And see a neurologist.
You are picking the wrong kind of exercises. If you're having neck problems...
holding your legs from a chair, sure that in theory engages your abdominal muscles, however, it does cause one to strain and tense other areas of the torso,
then that's why you end up feeling this in your neck.
Jumping is already considered a higher impact kind of an exercise.
I noticed that you wrote about how your knees were feeling some pain just from
kneeling on the bed. So if your knees are also weak, guess what? They are an important mechanism when it comes to any kind of jumping. Any jerking movements, which jumping is........you're definitely going to feel it in the neck.
How is your posture? I was watching a show last night on tv, and I wish I would have written down who was in charge of the show. It was late, and I was going to bed. But this woman, seemed to know her stuff. She was targeting seniors, to keep moving their bodies. Many of the exercises consisted of strengthening, stretching, and lot's of awareness of posture. There was no high impact jumping,
pounding, jerking the body type of movements. It was all low-middle impact and looked as if people were enjoying it, and many claimed it kept them strong, and they could continue doing things they might otherwise have to abandon, but for the excerise's benefits.
I have spent many, many years in physical activity, mostly stretching and lot's
of dance. What I've learned over the years is that if you fit into the category of
not doing some diligent walking, or stretching.......the body starts to get tight, from stress, and weak. Now if one finds them self in that condition and wishes to improve, you can do so, however you must know a bit about how the body works and how to do the exercises properly, since you don't want to aggravate an injury nor condition.
I'll give you an example: I walk usually every other day. If I don't have the time for a long walk, I just do it around my neighborhood. But before I do the walk, I do a warm up. I rotate my feet-ankles, then I warm up my hip sockets, by swinging my legs in and out. I then do a bend to the floor of my torso. So yesterday, I didn't quite do a proper warm up of my hip sockets. Well while I was doing my first two rounds around the block, I felt it. So today, I plan to do some floor exercises for that.
That one will be sitting on the floor and just stretching both legs outwards.
So my point is, that the exercise needs to fit what your body, not only needs,
but what it can realistically do, also.
I hope this helps!
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
I will admit that after the jumping rope, both my shins (between my ankle and knees) had a dull ache for 2 days. Somehow my knees escaped it.
My new doctor gave me wrong info. She said that I don't need a referral to see the neurologist. I called to make an appointment and was told that I needed a referral.
As for caregiving, you have the option of just helping or refusing to help. You can help hire caregivers to the home, or have them move to senior homes, nursing homes, etc....
I'd never ever want to go to war. I have a difficult time killing a mosquito that's biting me. I can't stand the sight of the blood. {{shudder}} I guess, it's on the eye of the beholder - on which is worse - war vs. caregiving.
I'm curious. Here, the church passes the money basket Twice. Do they do that over there, too? I thought it was very very disrespectful, like money-hungry, when after the basket was done going through the pews, they took it to the back of the last pew. They then transferred the money into a box. The women were busy dealing with the money during mass. I think it was disrespectful for them to do this during mass. I would think the church can come up with a better way of storing the money until after the mass has ended. Set up a strongbox sealed on top of a short column, then they can quietly lift the cloth full of money from the basket and just transfer it into the box. When mass has ended. Lock the doors and have 2 people there to take the money out of the box. Walk together to the back office - both people to sign off that they delivered the money.
That is my take - as a nonCatholic's view of this proceeding.
I picked up the referral letter. I just need to call his office to make the appointment.
Grumbling.... the doctor Did tell me that I didn't need a referral. I just thought it's so odd that an ENT needed one but not a neurologist. I guess She was wrong. {eyes rolling}
Grrrr. .. Veronica ... no comments please about seeing a local doctor. Your advice keeps knocking around in my head that I should have listened to you instead of being desperate. Like my father said, "You are so hardheaded! You just have to learn the hard way." ....
Do I mind? No. At least she trusts me enough to tell me what is bothering her
Got to get going having an MRI on my lumbar spine this morning. Not scared this time about the dreaded tunnell At least this does not give me a massive dose of radiation. I wish these Drs could learn to work together as a team. I have already had a CT scan. Copay has gone up this year to $125 for these specialized tests. Should feel fortunate I do have the insurance.
My cold is finally getting better. Appetite still so so which is okay with me.
Lastly some advice. A very good friend her mom is near death. Lung cancer despite not being a smoker. Today is refusing to eat. She is too weak to walk and has to use wheelchair. Has fallen as she wants to walk to bathroom. Cancer was diagnosed August so no healthcare POA.
My friend is not religious which I have no problem with and she knows that death is near for her mom. What words can I say to her. With my mom her death was sudden and unexpected. This sadly is a lingering that my friend knows she cannot change what will be happening soon.
Thanks.
Veronica, I wisely went back several posts to the beginnngof the posts about Book eercising and I am going to write down your routine you gave her. I always say I am going to do that but dont have anything written down that I can do so I just sit!!!! tonight I will use your routine!
Book- do the exercises...gently and slowly like they are suggesting. it takes a while to builds up stamina and you DO have patience somewhere...just find it!!!!
Taking my mom to have lunch with my cousin today..should be fun. She does more for my mom than my sisters do!!! it is cold but not too bad outside here. NOthing like the folks north of here experienced this week!!!
Onedoor, I too liked Veronica's exerxise samples. Time to sleep.
on the eye front I realized I was using my cats eye drops instead of the steroid drops. Both had pink caps and I never looked at the bottle!
Called eye doc right away and I should be good.
What I'm trying to say is .. just give your friend a big hug and tell her that she did great taking care of her mom. That you know that it wasn't easy for her but she was there for her mom all the way through. Etc... Also, an acquaintance gave me a handwritten note offering her condolences and a little 'gift money' in it. I still have the envelope and letter in my memory box. (Just like I have my very first classmate's bday invitation when I was in elementary - 38 years ago!)
I will change dad's pampers. Take a shower. And go see if I can make me some Bigelow English breakfast tea. Yum.... Later...
Book! take care of yourself!!!!!!!!