This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
As yo say equipment can be obtained with a Drs prescription through Medicare but I don't believe it is entirely free as it is through hospice. Hospice nurses should also be experienced in pain and anxiety treatments which are so very important at the end of life. Another benefit is the availability of an RN 24/7both to help with problems and a s reassurance for the caregivers. all in all your experience was not good but others have been more satisfied. it just depends on the hospice.
Austin, you had a baaad experience. I'm so very sorry what you and your family went through.
As I've said on this thread before, my time with my dad was so much better, as much as it can be when a loved one is dying.
I hoping there is a lesson to be learned here for people that read this site. If there are reviews to be read about the hospice services available, do check them out. I know I was in no frame of mind to do that when we got my dad's diagnosis. A friend referred me to the one we went with for dad's care.
It was a Catholic-based non-profit, though they respect all religions. We are Lutheran and it made no difference in our experience. They made sure we had all the family support we needed with a Lutheran pastor and counseling, that was even kind of 'unwanted' at times I just wanted to be alone. They respected that.
My dad was at a point toward the end where the hospice house was the only answer and that is 24/7 care. Medicare picked up the first 10 days. No need for aides in the home where it wouldn't have worked anyway with the way their home was set up.
If one is not satisfied with the was their chosen hospice is operating in the first couple of days, I advise them to change programs.
I'm thankful I did not have that situation.
It's bothering me.
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Still struggling with my sinus/headaches. Ha! After reading that about 93% (?) of sinus sufferers were suffering from migraines and not sinus headaches, I took an Excedrin Migraine. Took about an hour before it kicked in. Face is still getting stuffed up. Nose is very very sensitive. Painful to touch. Sigh... I'm still determined to fight this au natural..no antibiotics. Anyway, my previous doctor said that my body is getting resistant to antibiotics. It seems I will be needing more and more (stronger and stronger) for it to work. I think it's my immune system that is getting compromised from constant stress between work, oldest sis, dad, and odd caregiver....
Sorry.. folks..been getting lousy headaches daily. Really bad ones. Can't tell if sinus or migraine or both...
Well, the nasal massages I did before bedtime...every time I got up, several times to use the restroom (drinking lots of water), I felt the sinus draining down my throat. Time to get up and change dad's pampers.
I have the Fluticasone Propionate Nasal Spray that was prescribed Nov. of last year. I only used it for a week or two and then put it away. Well, I just read the instructions. I was suppose to clean the nasal applicator by pulling it out and washing it. I didn't do it. And that was several months ago. There is no refill. So, I'm hoping to stop by the pharmacy and ask the pharmacist if I should still use it even though I didn't do a proper cleaning. Or should I throw it away.
I was hoping that my body would tolerate the ACV (apple cider vinegar.) I just took 2/3 cups of water and 2 tsp of ACV after dinner. That was 90 minutes ago. My upper lip is tingling. I just looked in the mirror. I'm getting rashes on it. Soooo no more ACV home remedy for me. Tonight is the final dosage.
57twin, I need to solve the sinus head problem because my flight from Tokyo Japan to Chicago is about 13 hours - NonStop, over the water. Can you imagine having severe head/ear pain for that long? I'm not even flying yet, and I had a severe pain in my right ear today with a loud tinnitus screaming high pitched. I'm seriously thinking of just going to Urgent Care tomorrow after work. Hopefully my body doesn't have an adverse reaction to whatever they prescribe.
FYI, with the nasal massaging, I've been able to keep the sinus headaches away. Too bad those massages don't relieve the sinus head pressures.
Our livingroom air con's vents need cleaning. I took a look and it's really thick with dust. Another To-do list for tomorrow....along with scrubbing the bathroom walls as much as I can reach, maybe use my neck brace because looking up will cause severe pain on my neck. So many things to do. Call the plumber to fix the toilet before I leave - I don't want to leave $1,000.00 of emergency money for oldest sis. If I get the plumbing done, I can pay it now. Leave $500 emergency money with oldest sis. And anything more, she can ask fave sis for money.
I need to google and make sure that my headache Rx med is not illegal in Japan. I'd hate to be arrested while transiting because I didn't research if it's illegal there. So many things to do, with so little time....
I usually prefer to fly via Honolulu. But with all these mechanical problems between here and Hawaii, I've decided to fly via Tokyo. At least the plane between Tokyo and Chicago is not the old domestic planes between here and Hawaii and the West Coast.
I'm traveling with baby bro's girlfriend and her 2 daughters to Norfolk. They're flying one way. They will be living with him. Most likely they will get married. I hope I can attend when the time comes. Since I used up my miles for bro's ticket, and he used up his miles for my ticket, I most likely won't be able to go. For now, I'm seated across from them. But, I have plans to move up towards the front. I will pay about $187.00 to be seated on the roomier seats for Tokyo-Chicago and another $187 from Chicago-Tokyo. My legs will need to stretch during the long flight. I will need to print out some leg exercises, check the pharmacy about special stockings/socks for circulation, etc....
The last trip I flew Hawaii to home, my feet was swelling. Painful to walk. But it wasn't so bad as the previous trip because I Googled about leg circulation and started hydrating days before my trip, and avoided anything that would dehydrate me. It worked! The previous trip before Hawaii, to just sit down for 5 minutes, and the pain in my legs were soooo bad. The only way to stop the pain - was to walk, walk, walk. Can't do that between Japan-Chicago. Turbulence! I hate to be in the headline news of the passenger who was not in her seatbelt and hit the ceiling during a sudden turbulence. Later.. time to change his pamper...
Veronica, I thought of the wax build up. I was at the pharmacy looking at ear wax removals. But I don't want to Assume I have wax build up and then spend $13.00 for the ear drops. I figured it can wait until the appointment.
Fave niece enrolled me in FaceBook. When I go off-island, my prepaid cell fone will NOT work outside of this island. Since I will be bringing my kindle or iPad, I figured that if there's any flight delays, I will find a free wi-fi and send a message to fave niece. On her next visit with me, I will ask her to give me a tour on using FB. I've already deleted some 'friend request' from people I don't know.
Since I've increased my fluid intake, I've been getting up several times at night to use the restroom. So, I'm more tired than usual lately. Since fave sis came over and babysat dad around 2pm, I hope - so badly - that she will Not visit tomorrow. Entertaining people is so exhausting.
Alternatively ask them to all come round one evening after mum is in bed and lay it on the line for them. yes I live here free, BUT I am going to leave get myself a job and put Mum into care if you lot DONT recognise how much I actually do. I have spent years saying you all have your own lives etc etc but now I am telling you I MUST have a break and I must have a date for that before you leave tonight or I will find her a care home to free up myself. I am not asking for the world but for 1 week 4 times a year. I dont care how you manage it - you may want to all chip in and send her for respite but I am GOING to have a break
I will be going off-island for 2 weeks. Although teacher niece said that they will help with my dad (her grandpa), I don’t believe her. She was the one who failed to help my dad with grandma’s pampers. So, I have to go to a friend to cover for me. She is willing to spend day/nights here 24/7 babysitting and changing my dad’s pamper – for Free. Of course I’m not going to pay her nothing. I already put aside $300 for her. Knowing her, we will fight over this money – me giving her, she giving it back, etc…. So, I’m putting aside shoes, purses, etc.. as a ‘trade’ which she has NO problem accepting. We will see.
I cleaned the air con (filter with lint and the vents with black mold), the outside refrigerator, the inside/outside of the microwave, and finally the restroom walls (what I can reach and then dragging one of mom’s small thick flower pot, turned it upside down and stood on top to reach higher on the wall). The livingroom no longer smells musty. The Clorox wipes cover the smell of mold – high up on the ceiling. Now, I’m hungry and will eat left over KFC chicken for lunch. After lunch, back to googling earplanes ear plugs and sinus/pressure when flying.
I kept bugging sis for the vacuum in her bedroom (formerly dad's room.) She doesn't want me to come in to get it. So, last weekend, she gave me the vacuum and the accessories. I asked, "Where's the hose? I cannot vacuum using the accessory." Yesterday, I went to kmart and thought this vacuum was on sale for $45.00. At cash register, it was $99! Forget that. I came home and told sis about it. She told me some roundabout story about it not being in her room. I said, "If the vacuum was in your room, and the accessories was in your room, then the hose is in your room." She finally found it - hours later. {{shaking my head}}
Water pipes, electrical are old. Same age as when this house was built. When oldest bro of next door was an electrician, he didn't rewire our house (but he did for other relatives.) Still won't do our house. But he does it for his. Whatever...
I'm no longer in the mood for cleaning. I need to vacuum my bedroom upper bunkbed. I was taking stuff off it (using it for storage), and found so much dust and flaking paint. Again, the paint job was done in the late 70's. I have most of my bedroom windows shuttered due to the mango trees. I don't use the air con in my bedroom...which I really need to clean the filter and vent. I'll make it for another weekend.
Next goal, buy those sweeper mop so that I can do a weekly quick mop up of the livingroom and my bedroom. I think this will cut drastically on my sinus/allergies. I still haven't set up the humidifier. Having ant problems. They're attracted to water, honey and my skin. They don't bite dad but I'm getting bitten by these ants on a regular basis - doesn't matter what specie - here at home and at work. Drives me crazy that these ants don't even bite my nieces.
I just finished buying a set of ear planes in Amazon.
Going through my mental list:
Clean air con. Done!.... clean bathroom walls. Halfway Done!.... clean fridge / micro. Done!....
Ear planes. Done!....
Buy carry-on bag with wheels and handle (@ Kmart). Done! (FYI, I used the backpack as carry-on to Hawaii, it still put a strain on my neck. So, now I'm going to try wheels/handle carryon.)...
buy Elastic shoelaces (so I don't have to bend down to tie/untie my shoes at TSA screening). Done!
buy new insoles (fresh) for my long 23-hour travel to Norfolk. Done!
As it gets closer, I will decide which real paperback books to bring with me. I learned on my 7 1/2 hour flight to Hawaii that reading non-stop on a kindle was very hard for the eyes. On my last trip to Colorado Springs, I read non-stop (no watching videos) on the 7.5 hr flight to Hawaii, 3 hr layover, 8 hr flight to Houston, 3 hr layover. And did not suffer any major headache or eye ache like when I used the kindle on that 7hr flight to Hawaii. So, real books for the air plane flights....And disposable - where I have no compunction in leaving it behind when done reading...