Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Slip on shoes - tend to stay behind when I'm walking. Very embarrassing. I walk, my feet goes up, the back of the shoes stay down, then it suddenly snaps up to meet my foot that is now going down. Or the constant rubbing from behind my foot becomes painful and then I get a lump behind that area. And because the shoes/pumps doesn't follow my feet, I tend to curl my toes to keep the shoes on. If I forget to curl my toes, my body moves forward and one shoe/pump remains behind. If I put an insole and a back cushion (expressly for this situation), my feet is so squashed inside, I start limping. I've totally given up on slip ons.
(0)
Report

Book, it sounds as though you might benefit from going to a shoe store (or even a podiatrist) where they can measure your feet. You may need a smaller size (length) and a wider width (for your toes).
(1)
Report

its been a crazy couple of weeks. I took off work and stayed at my parents to help them with the big move to my sister's house. We accomplished a lot and my folks were in rare form. They were kind and funny relating to each other lovingly, and enjoying the moments they had together and with me as we poured through paper after paper determining what was important and what needed shredding. My sister later told me that he was happy to have gotten through that process with me as he didn't want to leave it to us to figure out later. We moved my parents on the 18th, my folks celebrated their 57th anniversary on the 19th and my dad passed away on the 23rd, less than one month after being given a prognosis of 2-4 months. I think I am still in shock over all of this, just a few months ago my dad was primary caretaker for my mother who remains on hospice. His decline was so quick and now we are trying to arrange his funeral with my mother's limitations always in mind.
(1)
Report

ohgenny, I am sorry to read about your father. It sounds like they had the next phase of their lives set up, only to have it change so fast. Maybe he stayed just long enough to make sure in his mind that the move went well before he moved on to his new home. I have the feeling he was a wonderful man. Hugs and flowers to you and your family.
(0)
Report

Book You can get some really nice shoes that fasten with velcro far faster than laces and yet fit just as tightly
(0)
Report

Ohgenny...so sorry about your dad. I also believe he knew your mom is now settled okay and will be well loved and cared for. I pray you find peace with all your struggles during this time and knowing his pain and worries are over. Its so terribly hard to see our parents suffer and our love and care is makes all the difference. Sending you blessings.
(2)
Report

Ohgenny, my condolences on your father. I'm sure he was glad that you all got them settled in a very timely manner. {{Hugs}}
(0)
Report

Babylou, I tried asking the salesperson at Footlocker for help in finding a shoes for me. After trying on my 3rd shoe, my flat feet was hurting so badly from trying on shoes with arches. I was beginning to limp. And when I put my foot in, I was flinching from the pain. In desperation, I approached a salesperson about shoes with no arches. The person had this puzzled look, pointed a general area, and then walked away. I said forget it. I will go to Amazon and find shoes that had Poor Reviews due to No Arch in the shoes. It took me days of searching, but I finally found the shoes - Reeboks. Once in a while, I will try Footlocker and give up. I now only order Reeboks online. So far, every shoe (and colors, shapes) that i ordered had no arch support. Bingo!! I do have a gel insole with a Slight arch support. I find my bottom feet hurting, and notice I was walking on the sides of my feet and not completely flat on the ground. I took out the insoles.

Hmmm.. come to think of it, the back of my feet does goes up/down on All my shoes. I've been on a one-size fits all feet.... Something to think about - see a podiatrist. Thank you!

I was at the store. And the bottled water was stacked high...close to my shoulder height. There's no way I would be able to lift it off and put it in my cart. I saw this big tall man passing by. I approached him and asked if he can put one case in my cart. He looked at me and said to go ask the store employee. And walked away. Lesson learned. Don't ask other customers for help. Look for an employee or Try to do it myself (and hope I don't hurt my back.)
(0)
Report

With regard to your feet, yes GO see a podiatrist! I got orthotics (inserts that go in my shoes) that have a support for the long bone of my big toe, which is apparently misformed in some way.

Just because one person said no doesn't mean that everyone is that way. Ask another time in a different situation and you may get another answer. You have NOTHING to lose by asking.
(1)
Report

Was in walmart yesterday and needed soda from the top shelf but the bottles were packed so tight i could not lift the first one out. As I started to climb on the bottm shelf an elderly man rushed up and said. "Let me get that for you you don't want to be climbing up on shelves" he was even shorter than me but obviously stronger and I was so happy to let him.
Yes Book get thee to a Podiatrist. you may not need special shoes but they will tell you which brands to choose. You probably need something wider but shorter.
(2)
Report

Guess what?! In all these business functions, we always have these little gifts and raffles. In all my 21 years of this business, I only won one time - a hotel clock. We had to put our name card in the jar and they will pull it up to get gifts. I was still new in the business and did not know that I was suppose to carry my business cards with me. So, another travel agent gave me one of her cards, X out her name, and I put my name on the back. She told me that she's always lucky when it comes to raffles. Sure enough, they pulled out both her business cards - even the one that she gave to me to use! That was my only winning - which is not really mine since she's the lucky one.

Tonight! Guess what?!?! They were pulling out all these raffle gifts and they were down to the last 2 prizes. The 2nd to the last prize - was a free economy class ticket from here to the US mainland or Canada. They pulled out my boss' wife's name. Then the last prize - also a free economy class ticket to the Mainland/Canada. They said the number... 32254. I stared at my ticket. Read it carefully again, as the person repeated the number. OMG! It's me!!!! After I realized that it was really MY raffle number, I raised my hand high. And my bosses screamed out in jubilation. Others were saying that it was 'fixed' since our office of 3 people - won the only 2 free Delta Airline's tickets. =)

I have an airline ticket for next year's travel!!! A Free ticket! I'm soooo happy. I have a getaway ticket from caregiving next year! =)

And my very first win in my whole life. I kept my lucky raffle. Except, I can't find it! When sis goes out to smoke, I will follow her and check inside my car. The spirits like her. Maybe they won't bother me if I'm with her outside. =) !!!! =) Now, I'm going tell my siblings....
(4)
Report

Book, so exciting for you! Does the ticket have to be uses in a certain amount of time? Hooray for you!
(0)
Report

Thanks, Glad. Even if it expires by the end of this year, I can still book the dates for next year. I can just schedule it for next year's summer vacation. I just need to figure out which siblings I want to visit.

By the way, last year, I won an access to United Airlines' Airport business lounge. It expires the end of this year. I'm thinking of using it on my flight back home after my visit with bro. I have several hours layover in Chicago. I had plan to google info on the airport to see if they have anything interesting (like a paintings, murals, statues, etc... like your Denver Airport.. I would love to check out that Denver's mural painting..quite religious, if you ask me...)
(1)
Report

Correction - not won the business lounge access. Our agency was one of the top 5 sellers of their tickets. So, they gave each travel agent (not one per travel agent company -which usually their bosses end up claiming) - of the their top 5 sellers - free access to their business lounge.
(0)
Report

Lucky Book just enjoy the business lounge in Chicago you will probably find free snacks and drinks and a nice receptionist to wake you up in time for the next flight. second thought maybe you should use it on the way out because you will be so tired after the trip from Japan on the cramped aircraft.
(0)
Report

Unfortunately, I will be on the same old cramped airplane from Chicago to Tokyo. With only 1 hour connection from Tokyo to home. On the way to Norfolk, I will be traveling with baby bro's girlfriend and her 2 daughters. Trust me, Veronica, if I was traveling by myself, when I was booking the reservation, I would have Not chosen this route. I'm not much into praying. But, the closer I get to flying, I will be praying a lot to God to please make the old plane reach it's destination. And if it cannot, to please be close to an island that has an airport we can fly to.... I'm so tired. I'm going to shower, and ... late night snacking of sugar roll breads... There goes my tummy...Night all.
(0)
Report

I've been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. Fantasizing my death, etc... Sometimes, in bitterness, my thoughts go to the Bible's words that “God will never give you more than you can handle." And I wonder how many people thought this and then succeeded in killing themselves. Even with my upcoming trip, I feel no emotions. No joy, etc.. just fear of flying seems to be the center focus. And fear of flying on the way back home.

When my brother offered his miles for my ticket, I couldn't help but think that God wanted this to be. That I should go off-island because I NEED to get away from oldest sis (unhelpful around the house), fave sis (and her OCD) and from dad. In the past, when I started getting really bad suicidal thoughts, the elder and his wife would drop by unannounced. It always freaks me out - of their timing. They usually do a yearly visit. I never ever doubted that it was God who sent them to visit me when I was at my lowest. So, although this trip to bro is stressing me out - the flights - I don't really have any other emotions than fear of flying.

Tonight, when I won that ticket. As I sat with the other people at the table, I could not help but think it was God again, who was able to finally allow me to win. It's as if He's giving me a goal, a prize, to aim for. If I want to travel on that Delta ticket, then I will not kill myself until I fly next year. He's giving me something to hold on to, to hang on to, for next year. And not just trying to live one day at a time, struggling with those deadly thoughts.

I'm writing this because whenever I shower, I allow my mind to roam. I realized that some of you don't have the opportunity to win a ticket to go anywhere. And I felt bad. Then my thoughts turned to God and His .. oops. I just nodded off while typing this. Too tired to think. Brain's foggy.
(3)
Report

And ,book, what do you suppose may be the meaning behind a one way ticket?
(0)
Report

Congrats on your raffle win Book!
Chicago O'Hare is a huge airport I flew into it a couple months ago.
(1)
Report

I am super frustrated today. Last nite mom tumbled out of her chair, luckily no injury, just a bruised wrist. So today I went to visit some AL's, and their prices have gone up! Plus they have a new "Informed consent" leaflet which seems to be saying "there's no supervision here" and that bothers me, seems more like independent living instead of assistance living. And they no longer include 30 mins of care per day-- they charge in 15 min increments. This could be very expensive, and they require a complete financial statement. Seems so designed to put them in charge of raising your rates (find out how much funds they have and invent ways to get it!). I'm just super-bummed, because I want mom someplace safer than home alone, slipping out of her chair.
(0)
Report

Mallory I dont have a clue about the US as you all know - dumb Brit here - but can you get a sitter for less money? I know some care home charges are exorbitent and it can be cheaper to have someone who just comes and 'does a bit' a bit of housework and check on Mum; makes a meal for themselves AND your mum; or perhaps even offer someone accommodation in exchange for keeping an eye if that would work.
Of course if your Mum needs much care per se that is gonna cost sadly but it might be worth considering a sitter.
(0)
Report

Thanks, you all. I still cannot believe that I won something.

Glad - if I had won a one-way ticket, I would think the same thing. That it's God's way of telling me that it's time to move on. Except I would argue with Him and tell Him that I'm now too old to realize my dreams of traveling. I'm very forgetful now. I'm not as brave as I was when I used to travel by myself. Where will I go?

Mallory, one good reason the AL wants all of your mom's financial record is to know if she can pay for her stay, and how long. I have read here on this site, that they also have stepped in, went to court and took POA or some kind of legal standing over the parent. Then the NH or AL handled their client's financial 100%. It's a darn if you and darn if you don't. I'd google info about the AL. Find out if they've ever gone to court and took over someone's financial, etc... Hope you find a reputable AL.
(0)
Report

Book, Is it a round trip ticket? I thought I read one way to the mainland.
(0)
Report

Book, just reread your post. I took ticket to the mainland or Canada as meaning one way. Sometimes I am just too literal.
(1)
Report

I vented about sis, the trash can, the trashbin, etc...several paragraphs. Then I erased it. She's very good with this passive-aggressive stuff. And I need to learn to not let it get to me.

Yes, roundtrip economy class.

I woke up this morning. Wondering what was wrong. What woke me up? Oh, I know! It's soooo quiet. Our livingroom's AC is very noisy. Very. I woke up to total silence. Total. I looked at my night light, it was off. Power outage. Strange how a sudden background noise that suddenly becomes silent - can wake us up. 11pm. I'm getting dizziness. Very sleepy. Still writing check payments for bills. Time to shower and maybe finish off those bills.
(0)
Report

I was just reading most all of your post since I was here last. It seems the smallest of things is what we focus on because I guess it keeps us all sane. I know since the last time I was here- I got strong in my caring for my MIL but then I fell back into depression and yesterday I was thinking I was losing my mind. My MIL keeps getting worse then better- over and over again. Now she is weak from withdrawal from steriod therapy....Crashing they call it and Im stuck by her side so that I cant even get outside much because she can fall so easily-her legs are really weak. As I write this I realize how rediculious my life is....Ive begged for help, my husband said he was not putting her in a home..doctors say if we get home health care her primary doctor will go against their treatments and it will be frustrating for them. well what about Me? how frustrating do they think this is for me. They said we may as well call hospice if we call in home health care. I'm like I can't win. Yes she is bad..but she still sits here day in and day out and I feel like Ive lost my self in all this process. I'm miserable and I just wonder how much longer I can be miserable? I cant believe im going thru this all and it makes me feel selfish for feeling this way. But I can't stand much more of this.
(2)
Report

You're not selfish darling YOUR HUSBAND IS - sorry to say that so bluntly but if he can't see what this is doing to you then it's about time you went walkabout for a week. Tell him to book a week off work because you are going to stop with a friend relative Father Christmas if needs be but you are going to de stress and if he doesn't like it then he better figure on someon else doing it permanently.

If he doesnt want to do that then tell him (note tell - do not suggest ask request or anysuch similar none of this please may I either!) that you are going to hire a sitter for one day a week whether he likes it or not. She doesnt need specialist care because you are not a specialist nurse (at least as far as I am aware). Your MIL is HIS responsibility NOT YOURS

Rant over - I now remember why I divorced my controlling husband
(5)
Report

I ve been taking care of hubby full time since 2010, Its so hard now I can hardly stand it every day im crying . Its getting harder and harder,cuz b4 he got ill we too care of his parents for 10 years but they live till in their 90 my husband started getting ill in his 50 he is now 66 yrs old,im just now getting an aide went to lawyers and all paper work. But
(1)
Report

Jude & Book, yeah I am totally re-thinking the AL. We.do have one amazing lady who comes.in once a week. I'm . actually toying with moving my home office to mom's house and I will do business (the computer part) from.her home a few days a week, just to keep her from being alone all the time. And get another CG lady. The one we have, cannot increase her hours at all. Book are you the one who won the trip? I am jealous....but I can't go anywhere anyhow! Who would take care of.mom.
(1)
Report

Prayerservant - Stay with us we can suppport you and while none of us proclaim to know everything we all know a little bit and we do know lots of coping mechanisms. Right now without a doubt you are suffering from anxiety/possibly and probably to be honest depression and need medical intervention to help you cope. When you speak to your doc it is perfectly all right to break down and cry in front of them. it is OK to say you cant cope and you need a break. If you don't you wont BE ABLE to take care of your hubby at all and he will HAVE to go into the care system which may or not be what you want so you do have to consider yourself in all this and this IS NOT SELFISH it's reality. If you have children then ask them if they can give you a break for 1 day a week - that's not a lot to ask and it will give you a small chance to get out and feel human again. I am not sure whether you're a church goer but sometimes they will help out. perhaps you have a local charity that offers sitting/caring for an afternoon. Utilise everything that is out there for your health is really important.
But above all stay with us and make sure that at least once a day you look in the mirror and say to the person you see I am beautiful and i deserve the best so today I am going to find the best FOR ME xxxxxxxxxxxx
(3)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter