This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
seeme......that is hilarious! Sonny must be rubbing off on ladee! I hope they get her hooked up soon before she goes off the deep end. On second thought.................
Trying to get myself moving....haven't felt good for a couple of days, but that will pass I'm sure.
My hair stylist is going to come to the house to cut the col's hair! That's a good thing. It's supposed to rain the next few days and that way I don't have to get her out in it. She will be cozy in her own home with a new trim.
Hope everyone is feeling well and looking forward to a great day......will check back later.
Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
Glad the Col can get her hair done at home. Mom's came to the house once, too, after she got out of the hospital. Someone could make a lot of money doing that, adding fuel to the charge, because some would be so thankful for not having to get out, or they can't get out. Mom feels better when her hair is done.
Hope everyone has a good day and a smile on your face.........later
So haven't been home yet, it should be installed, that is if Seeme got the order right... and the computer tomorrow, so I will be bothering the crap out of all of you....
Love to everyone, and I will have time to get caught up on everyone tomorrow so sorry if I haven't been supportive, ya'll know I would if I knew what was going on, and this morning proved that I do NOT.... hugs across the miles.... Thanks for seeing the humor in your stupid friend Seeme, made my day.... love ya
Stormy I start from you because you are the one who makes me worry more, at the moment. What you are facing is unbelievable. It's a science fiction movie! Or a nightmare, if you prefer. I hope that you find very soon a good doctor who tells you what to do and what not; it is very important that you find the best treatment for your father very quick! And I see that your sister and you are doing the possible and the impossible, but you have to have the right directions! I am so sorry and I hope that the situation gets clearer in the next days. About lasix: I am afraid to do it! I am 54 years old and I start to be afraid of the surgery. When I was younger I had to have 3 or 4 operations and I faced them with no problems. Now, I am scared... I have to change my contact lenses anyway.
Starri: my mother sleeps in the living room and with the TV. She can't follow the programs anymore. She thinks people of the TV are real. If she sees children playing, she says: "Send these children away, they make too much noise". If she sees Temperance Brennan (Bones) she says: "That lady has told us we have to go away.". So I have found a channel where they transmit non stop "Will and Grace", "Dharma and Greg", "Hot in Cleveland", things like this, and she can watch them with no pain and worry... But she doesn't really follow! My mother is in a stage similar to Seeme's mother. She is completely out of this world!
Seeme how I understand you. Your telephone call with Ladee was hilarious! Ladee you have to settle in the new house soon and have some rest!!!! And don't kill the postman when he wants to deliver you mail.
Jo, I thought telephone pranks like the one that you had were a phenomenon of Italy only. I see that stupidity is international!!!!
I have another name for the horse: (if Gary wants something related to western movies): Clementine! Wasn't Clementine a character in a movie with James Stewart and she was Grace Kelly? I like that name, it is very sweet and when Gary is angry he can call her "Clem!!!"
Jam, thanks for you concern about my personal problems. My mother doesnt' remember anything of that morning, this is one of the advantages of her disease, because when I "lost it" in my car, at 6 in the morning, I seemed Linda Blair in the Exorcist. I didn't spew green things, but for the rest I was exactly like her! I was perfectly normal when I arrived at the hospital, (I think we have developed a capacity to react to stress which makes us real superwomen)
Kisses kisses everybody! Kisses to all the other ladies that I didn't mention.
I don't know if you notice from my posts and from the number of movies and TV series that I know, that I have the TV on 24/7. I "hear" it while I work!
Dad seems better...he had appt with urologist this morning as he has had prostate cancer and they keep a good check on him. His urine was cloudy so they will culture and let me know.
Got home cooked them dinner and he just now finished his water...worse than a kid! Arghhh....bathroom break and had to turn off tv so he would do arm exercises the OT gave him.
Maybe I can get a little down time .... Hubby won't be here for two weeks and I am already stressed..oh well.
Have many blessings and it sure could be worse. Mom is running around washing clothes..where did they come from! I did them yesterday! If one towel is dirty...it has to be washed! All my buttons must be short circuited today! Lol
Sis just got off the phone and can't leave at dawn tomorrow, but she should be here by midnight anyway. We'll keep tabs on her during the day. I already have plans to go out to breakfast with Kathy and her sil, who is director of the wedding, on Monday. And Kathy TOLD me I was going, didn't even ask. Sounds good to me....
YR, saw you answered on the guilt thread......gutsy you......I just didn't have the energy....whole thing made me tired..............
Stormy......we are waiting gain........keep us posted......I think that is why we are so quiet.......waiting right along with you.........
Rosella........My mom was never in any military service, but my dad was in the Navy, Hubby in the AF, a nephew now in the Army, another in the Coast Guard. Guess she thought about it when she was younger.....I don't know.......but I liked emjo saying the Coast Guard needed to straighten out Ladee's phone call this morning......hahahahaha
Gotta clean mom's bathroom......fun, fun, fun.....never ends.............later
Let's see what else did he tell us. Think, Think, Think that's what lil red says. Ok dr said that the swollen calf muscle above where the cellulitis is has nothing to do with the cellulitis. And we asked him what does mechanical mean in medical terms and he said it means a blockage. He told us the last time that we were there that the swollen lymph node in his groin area was mechanical. We didn't know what the sh$# that meant. When you say mechanical to me I think of a machine and my daddy is no machine from the last looks I had of him! And the gallstones he said nothing could be done for them. No meds for them. Nothing to get rid of them. He said let's just hope that your dad doesn't need gallbladder surgery he said because that would be a really bad surgery for your dad to have to go through as weak as he is. And about the groin lymph node. He said to wait until the dr that is on vacation to come back to do the biopsy of the lymph node. So I guess it is another wait and see game. That dr will not be back in until aug 30th. Hell at least we found out what was going on with his leg. I will take that for now!!!!!! I will try to address everyone a little later on tonight if not tonite then tomorrow. I love ya'll thank you for your concern, support and prayers and mostly your love!!! (((((((((HUGS)))))))) Stormyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
vic - missing my man too - and all I have is a cat to look after - dad pop a wheelies??? he must be feeling better and ur mum sounds like mine - stand up from the sofa and she would plump the cushions under you -try diluting the peroxide more -one tbsp in 30 or 40 tbps water - until it is comfortable. I do 1 in 10 now with no problems and haven't had an infection in over a year and -seem to not need antihistamines any more - awesome - don't recognise my own nose
seeme - time off tomorrow???? Yeay!!!! - I will forever think of ur mum as the coast guard now, sitting on the toilet with as ciggy - sort of a popeye look lol
YR - way to go!!!
jam glad the hairdresser will come to the house -soooo much easier
magic dust to Shawna to sell lots
starri - getting sorted out? the foul ups must be getting tiresome
asg, 54, john, and everyone else out there - have a good nite
love, hugs and prayers ♥♥♥
jo
ladee - internet and computer tomorrow - woot woot!!!! - you are a hoot!!!
ros - good hearing from you - r u getting caught up on ur sleep?
I am very tired, like all of you, so there is nothing new under the sun. And under the poop.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
stormy........glad to hear you have a diagnosis. I thought that was what was going on with Dad's leg with the way you described it. At least now there is a plan of action that you can follow.
The worst of the storm has moved through so I guess I will try and get some sleep now. Heather here tomorrow. Friday's are a big day for the col. It's bath and hair wash day, all laundry is washed and dried, her bedding is changed. And she tries so hard to get the girls to take her to the grocery store but she is just not able to do that kind of walking anymore. She didn't even try to sneak out to the garden today after Ronda left. And I hope she stays in bed all night. She has been getting up at o'dark thirty and eating toast made from sourdough bread. She loves that stuff and I told her tonight that if she didn't go a little easier on it, one of these days I was going to find her wrapped in plastic and looking like a loaf of sourdough! She devoured the last loaf in 2 days. All she does is eat and I can't figure out where she is putting all this food. But she has gained weight and looks a lot better now since we got her on different meds.
Hope everyone is snoozing now..........will check in later on today. Sounds like the second part of the storm is here.
Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
{{Stormy}} So glad you have a diagnosis on the leg. Let's work on that and wait for the rest at the end of the month. Yeah!!
EMJO!!! Help us celebrate by giving us one of your better stories....been missing them.
ASG....hurry up and write.....how's the hover round going??
YR, Vic, Heidiho, (((Shawna))), catch us up when ypu can...........
Going back to bed. Stomach has finally settled down.............zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Seeme ? sorry your not feeling well, but grateful your tummy has settled down. Ladee? computer and internet all in one day? you must have got Seeme on the ball...lol, sorry could not resist. Glad to hear it..
Jo, it is kinda hard to keep track of everyone here..lol, have to keep going back and reading again.. Hope everyone has a wonderful day and hugs to those I have missed here.
Jam today is moms hair day too! But I have to take her..have sitter to stay with dad...woohoo
Just doing a drive-by....will be back later!
seeme..........gotta go to FB for birthdays! And someone else we know and love is having a celebration on the 21st! Right emjo? hehehehe
Must pay bills now and finish email, then I will be back.
Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
enjoy all the newness of ur most recent adventure - getting the BS in shape! :)
I started keeping a list of birthdays but it is quite incomplete so need some input from you ladies - will get back to u
starri u slept in!!!! woot woot
seeme - for upset tummies - ginger tea as in: grate some ginger into a cup and pour in boiling water (I keep my ginger in the freezer and just grate as needed for tea, stir frys etc)
jam - pay bills - now that is a grate - uh great idea!!! - just got slammed through taxes and pension so have to do some serious digging into the options - all part of the transition from working to retirement
vic - let me know how dilution works for u - if there are any raw spots u will feel it - but it does heal it
got rhymes on the brain this morning
One day as I let down my hair, I met a guy who wasn't there
he wasn't there again today - I love 'em when they get that way
applies to some of the online guys
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yorkshire Men!
I just knew there was something different about men from Yorkshire.
Up in Yorkshire arugby league fan is drinking in a Yorkshire bar, when
he gets a call on his mobile phone. He hangs up, grinning
from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for
everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given
birth to a typical Yorkshire baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25
pounds, but the rugby fan just shrugs and replies, 'That's
about average in Yorkshire... like I said, my boy's a
typical Yorkshire baby boy. Gonna be a rugby league player.'
Congratulations showered him from all around, amid
many exclamations of 'WOW!' One woman actually
fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender
says, 'Say, aren't you the father of that typical Yorkshire
baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth?
Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in
two weeks. So, how much does he weigh now?'
The proud father answers, 'Twenty pounds.'
The bartender is puzzled, concerned and a little
suspicious. 'What happened? He already weighed 25
pounds the day he was born!'
The Yorkshireman takes a slow swig of his Samuel Smith's,
wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender
and proudly says,
'Had him circumcised...'
LOL
that's it for this morning folks
♥
jo
stories - I have reviewed and censored a few - some of those guys were just yucky but - there was a very cute italian guy who was a real person - other than Gary he was the only one who was appropriate when it was Gordie time of year -
maybe a Gordie story - he and middle son were visiting mother some years ago. She liked to feed them a meal. At that time she was on some medication that caused her pass serious gas. Now you have to realize that I have never heard mother say a swear word or even refer to such bodily functions as passing gas in her whole life! Mother had set a beautiful table as usual - the family silver, cloth napkins - she used them all the time, and so on and the two grandsons sat down to a nice meal in these somewhat elegant surroundings. (Mother's living room was like a museum with art pieces, nice furniture etc and she is very good at decorating,) On her way to the kitchen to get another dish she ripped a good one. Well, mother being mother totally ignored it, however that was too much to ask from two teen age boys. Gordie got the giggles. He looked up and finally caught Dave's eye and the two of them just about exploded. They had to leave the table and go out on the balcony and burst into helpless laughter.
This was, by the way the same balcony that his sister and he were on one visit when she "innocently" remarked that it would be a great place to spit from (9 floors up) and see what happened. Of course, Gordie could not resist and obliged her. It is one of her good memories of bro Gord.
Oh BTW the story about the gal who froze her bum the the car bumper and her date had to pee her off gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "pissed off". lol
my main man called last night and may have a few minutes to drop by this am as he is running an errand - ahhh that would be nice
Read through some of the posts and you will see what many are facing... and come back and vent some more. It helps!
You will have to ask seeme how many times in one day a person can go to the bathroom..she can tell you exactly!
stormy.....how are you today and how's Dad? Check in when you can.
ASG.....where are you? Being held hostage in a corner with a Hover round? Kids in school? Heck you've probably gone back to bed.
Shawna, Vic, YR, John, Rossella, check in when you can.
The birthday girl hopefully has internet today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope work is good to you today....miss hearing from you!
Day is half gone and I don't have much done. I see one tree limb down from the storm last night, need to go drag it off somewhere. Or maybe just lay it down so it can be cut up and used in the new fire pit.......good idea I had there!
Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
Dad keeps coughing so i have to walk back in there every so often to check on him. I thought i would be able to address everyone today but i might have to do that later after i get home. Or do this in shifts I just got back on here typing and he is already coughing again. He's quit now. I wanted to let ya'll know that me, hubby and lil red are going to the beach for a few days "YIPEEEEEEEEE" we are leaving sunday sometime the sooner the better i say before something happens!!!!!!!!! Will we be back thursday afternoon. And i don't know how i am going to survive without talking to ya'll for that long. I'll be in ac dt's!!!!!!!!!! But i will try to make it I can't wait to go I am soooooooo excited to get the hell out of this town i could do cartwheels. I wanted to thank all of you for your concern for me,sis and dad. Through this hellish ordeal we have been going through.
Jam-thank you for all of your advice and support!
Emjo- I love your stories u are soooo funny. Hope you are doing ok.
Ladeeee and Seemeeee I loved the phone story that was hilarious you girls are crazy!
Tx- welcome to our crazy world please come back and join us while we go INSANE!
Ros-hope u r doing ok too and not working too hard.
Well if i forgot anyone I'm sorry i will address the ones i missed later. Got to go feed dad and then leave for my drs appt. Love and hugs Stormyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Ok, now to start reading, but wanted ya'll to know I am here and one happy computer user.... YEHA... love you all, and hugs across the miles
so glad so see u back
by being in the right place i thot u meant TX lol
i am sure u will go crazy trying to catch up but GO FOR IT!!!
we r just glad u are here again
love ya ♥♥♥
jo