This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Interestingly, though, out of our small collection of professional caregivers it surprised me that they were fine dealing with the bottom end but went to pieces when it came to vomit - they weren't being precious, you could see it made their head swim.
Our version of Rice Krispie bars is margarine, marshmallows and Rice Krispie cereal. some add peanut butter or melt chocolate chips for the top.
It is quite the challenge to eat healthy with only a microwave and a hot plate.
You need to let us know what you can and cannot eat and together we can put together a good food plan for you. You will feel a lot better eating foods for you vs. fast food/microwave food all the time.
Oh, and if you scare me... like today, one of the daughters stopped by before work.... I was walking out the back door and had my head down... she jumped at me and hollered BOO..... in a matter of two seconds I screamed S*** and shoved her... OMG... I actually put my hands on the poor lady..... she was a good sport... told her later that since that did not come up in the interview.... oh, hey, if we scare you, do you get violent?.... that I would do a penance of taking J to the dentist next week... we all laughed, thank goodness and H and J did not hear me......for once them being hard of hearing was a good thing....
So, hugs to you all, have a moment to yourself and find one tiny thing to be grateful for...... hugs, angels, love and chocolate...
I was thinking of a crockpot too. When I was at Ross this morning, I saw a slow cooker (is that a crockpot?) Anyway, would food be overcooked? I leave the house at 8:15am. I usually come home 6:30-7:00pm. I hate food that is overcooked and too soft.
Lastnight, I tried the detox with 1 TBS apple cider vinegar, 1/8 tsp cayenne pepper and 1 lemon. Drank it down like that. Well, Tried to drink it down. It was very sour. I kept showing face as I tried to drink it down. The 2nd sip, as it was going down, it was burning my esophagus. Hit my stomach, and that too started burning. I was only able to swallow half of this mixture. I will try again tonight. This time, I'm going to sneak a teeny bit of honey in it. Hope it doesn't dilute the mixture.
I wonder. I just found this out recently - when mom died and my brother laughingly admitted that HE was suppose to take over the parents when they got old. (Maybe some kind of deal he made with them when dad gave part of his land to my brother so that he can build his house right next door - as in 20 paces away.) I wonder...if mom stared at bro hard because he did not do what he had promised. FYI, when mom was dying, bro never came in to see her. He may have lived next door, but he never came in to the house to visit the parents or mom all these years with the holidays. He cried hard when mom died and we were arguing over the funeral arrangement.
Jude, I got distracted. Sorry about that. I wonder, if your mom experienced what my mom did. The IV and the oxygen (if she is wearing one) may have helped clear her mind. And hence made her more lucid. I'm just guessing - based on my mom's one-time 'normal, alert' situation.
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Another weird thing is that once in a while she will literally get where she can't stop talking. I mean, literally. She will talk and talk and talk. Then she'll say "I guess I need to stop talking your ears off." And then she'll go right back to talking. We were wondering what in the world made it happen; but after a while I figured out that it seems to happen when she's either really excited (such as looking forward to some event like a family reunion) or really stressed (going to the doctor for a procedure). So, adrenaline, maybe? Her DIL told me about a time great-aunt had been in the hospital; she was in one of those rooms where they have several patients in the beds in one room. Great-aunt was gabbing on and on and on and ON to this poor old lady in the next bed. When that lady was moved to a different room, as she was leaving she said, "Good riddance!" to great-aunt. LOL
Since then, I've noticed that she cleans up after she explodes on the toilet (but she doesn't clean underneath the seat) and she now keeps offering me her frozen sausage link (Ugh! It's that small round sausage that you usually eat with eggs.) I've always hated that meat - even as a child. Never outgrew it. She went grocery shopping today. And she bought me a case of my favorite ice coffee - Mr Brown Coffee. She packed our small fridge's freezer with lot of frozen dinners. I, uhm...was hungry a few weeks ago and took one of her Stoufer's Lasagna frozen dinner. Eewww!!! I couldn't eat it. I offered her the 2/3 of it and she didn't eat it. I threw it away after a few days in the fridge. I had told her that I thought it was going to taste like the one I used to buy (until the price went up) - Michael Angelo's. So, today, she bought 3 boxes of Michael Angelo's lasagna and said it was for me. And she bought some cans of Roast beef hash - and offered me some of it. Ohhh... I'm touched. And I was smiling more with her. But - she still won't eat the food I cooked today. I had to warn her ahead of time that I drowned it with onions. There goes my eating healthy!
buckandbuck
Hope that works for you book
Might be better if I had done it right first time
Keeping the undresser clothed can be a challenging task. In an effort to preserve the dignity of those suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's disease, this garment gives the illusion of a 2-piece outfit, but is actually a 1-piece jumpsuit designed to discourage undressing.
it will take you straight to it
I wasn't fast enough to get the website the first time you posted. I'm able to do so with these. I once posted here on how to get around doing the www... and the moderator came on and uhm... reminded me that we're not suppose to post websites on here. Part of the rules. Now I do like you said on the last one...Google "......"
My laptop is facing my dad. On my right is the TV. As I was just typing the above paragraph, I saw my dad lift his butt up and his hand was proceeding to pull down his pants. I said, "Ah! Ah!" (Not Ah-ha. But Ah Ah as in No.) He was so fast to pull his pants back up - not once even looking at me.
Oh well perhaps it will keep them smiling