This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Did they wash their hands this time? So glad to hear that you are having 'parties' there at the hospital, meeting Mom's needs. Hope you are having some fun too.
Then, if you're not feeling better, come on over to: These are a few of my favorite things, thread. Keep posting, until you feel better.
Last night and this morning my depression was so bad. My thoughts were turning to death, which seems so - wonderful. I even went crazy lastnight looking for that prescription I have for depression. Remember, my doctor got me a lower dosage and different drug? But the part of me that doesn't want to live won out. I didn't take the med. I'm so torn inside, mentally. I want to die, I don't want to die. Ladee was the one who noticed a pattern of my really bad depression that I get yearly. It's around this time? It's so tiring this mental fight in my head.
Retail therapy often leads to depression. You don't sound like you are in a good place. I don't remember you being quite this low in a long while. Please call 911 and get yourself some help!
Love, prayers and hugs!
Today, I had a client in front of me. As I was putting her flight reservations together, I finally did it - 3 hours later. Towards the end, she asked me what's wrong. When I gave her a puzzled look, she said that I kept shaking my head as if something's wrong. OMG! Not once did I realized my head was was turning left and right! Parkinson's??
I imagine stress can cause this sort of thing as well. You know how we all feel about the caregiving you have done for your folks for many years at the cost of fulfilling your own needs. You have been a wonderful, caring and giving daughter to your folks for many years. Caregiving is very stressful and we each need to care for ourselves first. I am not going to tell you what I think you should do, you already know what that is. So Book ask others if they have noticed you doing this. Get to your doctor for a referral to a neurologist. Do not panic before you have consulted a doc. Sending you hugs, my friend.
BTW This is NOT what children are for sweetheart. I want my children to live a useful happy and healthy life - I do not want them to be looking after me at a time when they should be enjoying their lives ... just a thought
I wish there was a med you could take that would just help for this time in space... I know how you are about meds, and I know there are many things you can not take.... I am sending you gentle hugs.... and I am waiting WITH you.... you know I am there with you ...... give it some time, continue to share.... you know what to do.... the fact that your brain is going back and forth... means that you really don't want to DIE, you just want a different life and some relief from the one you are having to live....
You don't have Parkinson's.... our body can only handle so much and not having an outlet, our body does strange things..... my eyes jump, drives me insane..... other physical things.... so if nothing esle you get from this post, please hear that I love you..... and you are not alone.... and I DO understand..... gentle hugs to you sweetie...
T.I.A.'s are transient ischemic attacks (like a mimi-stroke), and while your symptoms could be anything, they point to something neurological. When I was having episodes, the symptoms were very strange, always a little different.
Of course, have your doctor check for side effects of your medications, especially if you have stopped taking one, or missed, or abruptly stopped Klonopin/clonazepam. OK? Can you check back in here?
You're so stressed, honey bun; it's no surprise you're feeling all kinds of effects. But deep breaths and don't panic. You are not getting dementia, you have not got Parkinson's and you are not losing your mind: that's not you or us, it's the people we're looking after. Repeat after me: "the ***patient*** is the one with the disease." You just have too much for any standard human being to cope with. Hugs to you, you know we all care for you.
I don't know of any patterns or triggers. Before I found this site, I always had these death wishes in the back of my head. I recall the severe sadness(and terror) as a little child hiding under the dining table. Hiding with my younger sibs from mom. I remember, being so little, praying to God why he made me be born. I don't know what the pattern and trigger is. It's just IS since I was small.
I just figured out that I'm very active on this sit in the beginning of the year and then really slow down around Sept to Nov. It was Ladee who solidified my observation. I usually notice the individual things, not the overall picture.
Every year, for years, I will struggle to NOT quit my job. It's happening now. I fantasize on ways to tell my boss. But I can't. I won't find a job as flexible as this (for last minute emergency with dad). I have to go now...