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LOVE NOTES FROM CAREGIVERS WHO HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE

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CLICK ON. LOVE NOTES FROM CAREGIVERS WHO HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE.
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Send Mums just come out of hospital after 4 weeks. She appeared to no longer have dementia - OK OK I know that's just not possible....just telling it how it is. Well as a result she has wanted to go here there and everywhere visiting old friends family etc. As for the move the owner of the apartment we wanted pulled out while I was on holiday - got the phone call the day before we came home! So I have been uber busy finding a new flat. Mum has taken a ridiculously high level of interest (ah perhaps the dementia has not gone then) and we have been to every wallpaper and paint shop within a 5 mile radius looking through books until I wanted to scream.

So I am so sorry I haven't been on but what with having to redo everything for the solicitors etc it has been a tad manic this side of the pond xxxxx

What do you need to know recipe wise hun I will do my best
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Ladee, thanks for the update on Veronica. Hmmm.. I guess I didn't think further down . Like her intestines may not accept any kind of food. I forgot that these things are all connected. Stomach tube twice... Yep, she's one very strong woman!

I was wondering about the PT coming to visit J even when she wasn't progressing. I think with my dad, the home PT came for a set number of times that is required by Medicare. When dad refused to do his exercises and to even Try To Walk with the therapist, at the end of the term, they discontinued. It's good that you mentioned this to H because I'm sure he would prefer her walking than him constantly at her beck-and-call. If she can be as independent as possible, the easier it is for everyone.

Great, you're going away for the weekend! One thing good about leaving your client - is that you Know that H can put his wife to bed. If she can walk - like you just mentioned, then he can definitely handle it by himself - with wife helping him. You all enjoy yourself. Remember to turn on your weather APP and keep track of the weather. Don't want to be caught with your shorts down. Or was that 'your pants down'..... Have fun!!! And I hope you find some great rocks, too.
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Falcon, no need for recipes yet, thank you though. Just wanted to know how you are getting along. Wow, is your mom well enough to leave her in the wallpaper store alone? This is new, in so many ways, but could be harder on you. At least you're getting out more, and that could be a good thing. If you get some time, share what the new diagnosis has become, as long as the social worker didn't give it. What are your mom's colors for wallpapers, are they the same as yours?
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Have passed on all prayers and well wishes to Ms. V..... will let ya'll know when I hear something new...

Told the folks today I would gone this weekend... didn't ask, told....No problems.... they were glad I was getting to get away for two days.... but the ocean is not my thing.... after living on the coast most of my life, well, our beaches are not pretty like in Fla.... but there are tons of shops all over that island..... so you know I will be coming home with something..... lol...

Glad, have you ever thought about moving to Austin, Tx.... the job market there is unbelievable.....I don't like Houston, that 's why I didn't suggest it... Austin is beautiful, so much to do, awesome people... and you would be close to me..... think of the 'girls night outs' we could have.... something for you to think about and we have winter, sort of.... we are sitll wearing shorts and capri's at Christmas......

The best news.... J walked to the breakfast table this morning !!!! Her choice, which made it even more of an accomplishment... should have seen H's face... he got tears in his eyes....first time in over 6 months that she has walked to the table..... tears of joy.... she even got a little emotional herself...... so maybe, by God's Grace she is on the uphill climb with positive results.......

Dr's appt today for her, so off early.... need to get my stuff ready for my weekend away...... have not had any time away in almost 10 years.... wonder if I will know how to act in social situations and not be up and helping elders eat and go to the bathroom if I am in a restaurant ..... !!!!!

Love and hugs to you all.... find one thing to be grateful for today....
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Ladee, and others! I don't often say what's happening, mostly because you all are telling my same story for me. At a restaurant, I did help two people go into the bathroom before me. Then, the seat was different than at home, where it closes by itself automatically, slowly, then you push the seat down if you are in a hurry.
Without thinking, I pushed the seat down quickly, and slam! Could have broken it!
Why am I telling you this? Because it is a sign of cognitive decline, if one doesn't get out more, you won't remember how to use a public toilet!
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Yay! There is finally some good things happening for my friends here on AC Forum!! So happy for you all! So pleased that everyone gets to read about those even small changes. Think we (that is my husband and I), will revisit the animal shelter again just to give them cookies. Not bringing any dogs home!
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Ladee, will check out Austin! This morning I have submitted two resumes one in Peoria, AZ, the other in Yuma, AZ. Have one to do yet for Bisbee, AZ. I wonder if Yuma and Bisbee have trouble getting qualified people in those places.
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Glad, willing to relocate, that makes you even more valuable to employers! Godd hunting! Have you ever heard of Headhunters? Back inthe day they were the place to go to for jobs.
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don't know about AZ Glad, but know the employment rate is high in Texas.... if you need some names of smaller towns around, let me know.... and the cost of living is decent..... so you could make less money and still be ok.... am sending you a PM..... love ya...
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LADEE1, GALVESTON OH GALVESTON! Sounds Fantastic, and you So deserve this break! So have a Blast and leave your Worries behind and really enjoy yourself! Thank you so much for all the Veronica updates, we all sure appreciate it and appreciate you for being the go between person! Please give her my love when you get a moment to do so but absolutely have a fantastic time on your well deserved weekend away!
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Thanks, Send and Ladee, today I am just feeling so terribly discouraged! Anybody know any developers of senior living complexes? Maybe they would not discredit me for four years caregiving.:(

I really want to get far from the maddening crowd. Austin has some positions I am well qualified for if they could just get past my last four years and realize what a difficult job it was! And I completed my Master's degree through it.
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Glad, Wow, your Masters Degree? That is Fantastic! Good for You, that is really something to be proud of. Good Luck with your Job Hunt, you should be a shoe in for a great job, in whatever position you seek! What is your degree in, if you don't mind my asking?
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My BA is in geography and environmental studies. My Masters is Public Administration with an environmental policy, management and law concentration.
Don't get too impressed yet, not until I find a job! Just really bummed today! I may end up being a bum.
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Glad, try not to be bummed.... I am sure they are going to be more impressed that you got that degree WHILE you were caregiving.... and don't assume anything....no matter where you get an opportunity for a interview, you sell yourself..... I know there are many jobs like you can do in Austin... send them your resume..... send as many as you can !!!!! Austin is really laid back, and there are many little bedroom communities to live in, away from the city....you can be discouraged and still send your resume.... keep us updated....
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GLAD, AHH, YOUR NOT A BUM, you did the very best in your situation, and I am Impressed! Like LADEE1 said, flood your Resume out there to every place near where you think you might like to live and keep on top of it! If you should happen to get a call back, you sell yourself, I would think that some HR person who has ever been near a situation like you've been in will certainly be interested in you, because it shows a huge amount of integrity, compassion, passion and commitment, which are great qualities in an employee! You can do this! Good luck and try not to get discouraged!
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Glad, if I were you I'd have my Self sales pitch well though out, and written with straight forward bullet points, ready and well versed, just ready for that next response to your resume, they will be impressed!
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I'm self-employed in San Diego, I was very lucky to have a good pay caregiver's job... seem to me I always had someone offered me the job with my term. Since 1999 I became S-E, I got job by word of mouth!!!
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That's how I get my jobs too Sue, but don't think Glad wants another Caregiving job!!! All the rest of these awesome folks want a regular job..... !!!! Good to see you here... lots of hugs.
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Sorry about that Glad!! I was not fallow and reading thread...
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No, No, NO, NO, not caregiving again. I can say I am officially retired from that job! It was difficult enough to do it for my mom and L. I can't imagine how much more difficult to care for someone I don't know! Hats off to all of you paid, private, non-family caregivers!
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Dear VERONICA, there are no words to express how I wish you could just skip all the hard road ahead of you, and walk outta there healed. Ask your husband to pick up the game 'Connect Four' from walmart. This helps your mind recover too.
Even though you can probably win, just let him win a little. Enjoy the game. There is always Sudoko.
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Glad, you have good plans for your future. Have you thought about opening a little store, or what would you like, if you could do anything?
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RE-POSTING GET WELL WISHES FOR V E R O N I C A. ! ! ! ! !
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Update on Ms. V.... Hubby said she was grumpy when he went to visit.... GOOD SIGN right there !!!! they are giving her meds in the stomach tube , but no food yet.... they turned up her oxygen and she has a nebulizer now, so hopefully the breathing is better....They are starting her on steroids as they (the Dr's) are now thinking it is Lupus or RA..... poor Ms. V.... I hate hate hate to think of all the poking and prodding she is having to endure and still not getting any definite answers. He hubby said she is already arguing about this extended rehab.....I can only imagine how bad she wants to be home and in her own bed..... am sending names of all those who are asking about her and letting her know messages are being sent to her via AC.... and that we are hoping she gets to post soon...... more when I find out something.... bottom line, she is feeling better, slowly... prayer works..... hugs to you all..
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Thanks for asking.... I feel devastated, angry, resentful, and exhausted. My mom at 81 has turned the corner with Alzheimer's. I picked her up this past Monday and she has been staying with me. I installed an alarm on my door and found an adult day care center right by my work. I drop her off in the morning and pick her up at the end of my work day.
Yesterday I got a call from APS - Adult Protective Services. My brothers filed the complaint on me; as if I would ever cause my mom harm. I am keeping her safe and comfortable. I have been caring for her for two years while she lived independently ~ which she can no longer do. We are transitioning right now between her apartment and my house. Hoping that will make it easier for her, but it's exhausting for me. I have so much resentment building up in me towards my brothers. They saw mom on Christmas and then not again until Mother's Day. They don't spend any time with her; take her food, or even call her and now I'm the one being investigated. My heart hurts and I'm having trouble focusing at work today. I keep crying unexpectedly and am worried about the outcome ~ this has been a BAD week!
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Hi STP! I always love Mt. Fuji's photos. One day.... I would love to see it in person. Not necessarily climb it. Seeing is enough for me. Nothing strenuous that would embarrass me - as out of shape.

Glad - I laughed at your comment. I sometimes wonder if I no longer have this job, would I be desperate enough to apply for a position in the gov't caregiver program? I think about it for a few seconds, and then reject it immediately.

Sendme - Sudoko? I can't stand that game. It requires too much thinking. I get hooked for hours playing on the kindle the 'find' this hidden object. Love those colorful faeries and the background music is good, too. When done playing, I have a terrible headache and neckache from staying in one position too long. Connect Four sounds good.

Veronica - maybe hubby can get playing cards? or download Solitaire and Spider Solitaire in your electronic device. I rarely play it. I prefer the real cards - so that I can cheat ... and win. Can't cheat on the electronics. I also love to play the Pyramid.
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Thanks, Ladee, for the update of V. I really do appreciate it.

Veronica - I miss you. Your friends miss you. All I want to say is - it's okay to speak out if you think something's wrong or needs attention. Wishing you a speedy and accurate recovery!

Ladee... I noticed you changed your avatar. I copied and pasted it on the Word document so that I can enlarge it. I saw the cat's expression. And laughed. Of course, you would choose a tough cat! Enjoy your weekend!

Sendme - I could have sworn you had another avatar this morning. I just can't remember what it was. A dog? Anyway, I read that the eye was from a cow? I thought it was that big white flying animal in The Neverending Story. Guess I was wrong.
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Deborah, sometimes siblings can be so cruel and uncaring - for their parent and the caregiving sibling. Unfortunately, your situation is not unusual. May I know what Exactly is your brother accusing you of? Misusing mom's money? Physical violence? Negligence (not feeding her, clothing her, etc...)? As long as you use your mom's money for Her, you're fine. As long as you kept the receipts (and photocopy the ones before they fade), then you're fine. Didn't keep any receipts? Oh... Well, I'd start keeping the receipts - make an Excel logsheet and itemize every expenditures of mom's money.

As for your brothers, rant and rave all you want here. Get the bitterness out of your system. The anger will always be there until we decide to set boundaries and cut our ties with these negative relatives. (I'm still working on that - because I don't want to completely cut ties with my siblings.)

Will you be okay? Please keep us updated on what's happening with APS. I hope your mom is enjoying the adult daycare. You take care.
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Thanks 'bookluvr' I don't know what they have accused me of; I think of her well-being. I've been paying her bills for her and that is all documented in her check book register. When I pick up groceries for her she pays me in cash. I do plan on buying a accordion folder and keeping accurate records of everything. At this point; I want to completely cut ties with them ~ I'm done, this was "the straw that broke the camels back!!" I probably will rant and rave here some more; since I have no-one else!
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