This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
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So I am so sorry I haven't been on but what with having to redo everything for the solicitors etc it has been a tad manic this side of the pond xxxxx
What do you need to know recipe wise hun I will do my best
I was wondering about the PT coming to visit J even when she wasn't progressing. I think with my dad, the home PT came for a set number of times that is required by Medicare. When dad refused to do his exercises and to even Try To Walk with the therapist, at the end of the term, they discontinued. It's good that you mentioned this to H because I'm sure he would prefer her walking than him constantly at her beck-and-call. If she can be as independent as possible, the easier it is for everyone.
Great, you're going away for the weekend! One thing good about leaving your client - is that you Know that H can put his wife to bed. If she can walk - like you just mentioned, then he can definitely handle it by himself - with wife helping him. You all enjoy yourself. Remember to turn on your weather APP and keep track of the weather. Don't want to be caught with your shorts down. Or was that 'your pants down'..... Have fun!!! And I hope you find some great rocks, too.
Told the folks today I would gone this weekend... didn't ask, told....No problems.... they were glad I was getting to get away for two days.... but the ocean is not my thing.... after living on the coast most of my life, well, our beaches are not pretty like in Fla.... but there are tons of shops all over that island..... so you know I will be coming home with something..... lol...
Glad, have you ever thought about moving to Austin, Tx.... the job market there is unbelievable.....I don't like Houston, that 's why I didn't suggest it... Austin is beautiful, so much to do, awesome people... and you would be close to me..... think of the 'girls night outs' we could have.... something for you to think about and we have winter, sort of.... we are sitll wearing shorts and capri's at Christmas......
The best news.... J walked to the breakfast table this morning !!!! Her choice, which made it even more of an accomplishment... should have seen H's face... he got tears in his eyes....first time in over 6 months that she has walked to the table..... tears of joy.... she even got a little emotional herself...... so maybe, by God's Grace she is on the uphill climb with positive results.......
Dr's appt today for her, so off early.... need to get my stuff ready for my weekend away...... have not had any time away in almost 10 years.... wonder if I will know how to act in social situations and not be up and helping elders eat and go to the bathroom if I am in a restaurant ..... !!!!!
Love and hugs to you all.... find one thing to be grateful for today....
Without thinking, I pushed the seat down quickly, and slam! Could have broken it!
Why am I telling you this? Because it is a sign of cognitive decline, if one doesn't get out more, you won't remember how to use a public toilet!
I really want to get far from the maddening crowd. Austin has some positions I am well qualified for if they could just get past my last four years and realize what a difficult job it was! And I completed my Master's degree through it.
Don't get too impressed yet, not until I find a job! Just really bummed today! I may end up being a bum.
Even though you can probably win, just let him win a little. Enjoy the game. There is always Sudoko.
Yesterday I got a call from APS - Adult Protective Services. My brothers filed the complaint on me; as if I would ever cause my mom harm. I am keeping her safe and comfortable. I have been caring for her for two years while she lived independently ~ which she can no longer do. We are transitioning right now between her apartment and my house. Hoping that will make it easier for her, but it's exhausting for me. I have so much resentment building up in me towards my brothers. They saw mom on Christmas and then not again until Mother's Day. They don't spend any time with her; take her food, or even call her and now I'm the one being investigated. My heart hurts and I'm having trouble focusing at work today. I keep crying unexpectedly and am worried about the outcome ~ this has been a BAD week!
Glad - I laughed at your comment. I sometimes wonder if I no longer have this job, would I be desperate enough to apply for a position in the gov't caregiver program? I think about it for a few seconds, and then reject it immediately.
Sendme - Sudoko? I can't stand that game. It requires too much thinking. I get hooked for hours playing on the kindle the 'find' this hidden object. Love those colorful faeries and the background music is good, too. When done playing, I have a terrible headache and neckache from staying in one position too long. Connect Four sounds good.
Veronica - maybe hubby can get playing cards? or download Solitaire and Spider Solitaire in your electronic device. I rarely play it. I prefer the real cards - so that I can cheat ... and win. Can't cheat on the electronics. I also love to play the Pyramid.
Veronica - I miss you. Your friends miss you. All I want to say is - it's okay to speak out if you think something's wrong or needs attention. Wishing you a speedy and accurate recovery!
Ladee... I noticed you changed your avatar. I copied and pasted it on the Word document so that I can enlarge it. I saw the cat's expression. And laughed. Of course, you would choose a tough cat! Enjoy your weekend!
Sendme - I could have sworn you had another avatar this morning. I just can't remember what it was. A dog? Anyway, I read that the eye was from a cow? I thought it was that big white flying animal in The Neverending Story. Guess I was wrong.
As for your brothers, rant and rave all you want here. Get the bitterness out of your system. The anger will always be there until we decide to set boundaries and cut our ties with these negative relatives. (I'm still working on that - because I don't want to completely cut ties with my siblings.)
Will you be okay? Please keep us updated on what's happening with APS. I hope your mom is enjoying the adult daycare. You take care.