This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Anyway, I think it's just all guessworks when it comes to Alzh. Constant stress. Migraine headaches (without taking asprin), elderly going into surgery and used anesthesia, banging your head (sports), major depression, Calcium supplements (2nd to the latest news) and now surgical instruments and blood transfusions.
As for blood transfusions, I can see how diseases can be transmitted. I've seen in TV news of people changing after a transfusion or organ transplant. I know of one person here on island whose husband had a blood transfusion. He was a low-keyed guy. After the surgery, he had a very terrible temper. Maybe, the anesthesia affected his brain. I don't know. Just too many guesses and nothing really solid.
This small study is not big enough to make such a statement. Because there is a correlation of surgical anesthesia and the sudden increase of dementia. They need a larger group and longer time period.
news.sciencemag/brain-behavior/2015/09/alzheimer-s-protein-contagious
But I just can't abide anything Dem anymore...and Clinton, whom I used to be a flag waving supporter, now makes my skin crawl and her teflon attitude just infuriates me. I'm not sure why the drastic change...but it seems to have happened during the course of my last 4 years as a 24/7 caregiver with no help...running into brick walls every time I sought to get any kind of assistance or information for Mama's care, getting an attitude for even daring to ask about something that I thought everyone had access to, the list goes on and on....and especially having extended family (Mama's family) whom I had always loved and adored, be so completely a$$holeish .....towards me...non appreciative...and on and on and on...
I remember ONE time, a couple of years ago, my brother had been and it was cold and snowy and Mama was in a particularly happy mood and he really got to enjoy his time with her... (he doesn't EVER see the background it takes to get her there...or keep her there) but he was here a whole couple of hours...yes TWO whole hours...and then he was gone, but he called me from the road and told me how much he enjoyed his visit and that he hoped I knew he appreciated all that I am doing...I actually started crying...because I had never heard him say it...and haven't heard it since....
I wish folks understood , at least for me, that just a little encouragement is so important for folks in our positions...I am here by choice, I am a tough little bird, and I'm enough of a control freak that I can do a LOT before I start getting aggravated...but it is the total lack of any appreciation by any of them I think that hurts the most....
I have even had a few of them tell me that if I didn't act the way I do that people would help me more????? I finally told them they better be glad I am the way I am because I sure as he!! didn't see anyone else here doing anything....
Can you imagine the cost of law suits if it is ever found that it is contagious. Mum only developed dementia after surgery for a broken hip, which incidentally was caused from a fall that could have influenced it. I imagine only time will tell but I imagine the impact if this is found to be true would be monumental - indeed catastrophic for all countries concerned...
Just remember its okay not to be perfect
I remember standing and watching a movie only to realise with growing horror that this was not a film but news, live, as it was happening. I had to call one of my staff to the office to tell her her husband was being dispatched immediately to help (he was an RAF fire expert). I closed the business that day and brought in counsellors for the Americans that were studying with us and who for the most part were in deep shock. It's a day I never want to forget; for should we forget it could happen again; a time when although none wanted to see the awful horror unfolding before our eyes, we all sat glued to something we could not even contemplate would ever happen.
Years later(7/7/2005) I was privileged to meet a man who has to have been the luckiest man on this earth. I was going to dine alone when an American asked me to join he and his friend as they didn't want to be alone. He had been sick on the day of the 9/11 attack and therefore had escaped death - he worked at the twin towers. That day he had gotten off the tube two stops before the suicide bombers led their attack. He was in deep shock and just needed to talk. I won't ever forget him yet I never even knew his name - I just know that someone somewhere was looking out for that man.
A sad day of remembrance xxxx Whatever your faith, may your God bless you all xxxx
I will never get those images out of my mind or heart. And it should be that way, for me at least... freedom is not free. Hope everyone takes at least a minute today to remember all those that lost their lives and all the many others who are impacted forever.
Such a sad terrifying time in this country's history. The country came together and flags flew everywhere as Ladee said. It seems now because of the discord in this country that many have forgotten. Today take a moment to honor all of those that were lost and their friends and families, Lest they be forgotten.
When the 1st year anniversary came, I watched all the documentaries on it. I cried a lot just watching it, seeing those who died, those who survived. Years went by. And the 1st responders were getting respiratory problems and cancer. And I couldn't believe the Red Tape the gov't stonewalled coverage - Denying that it was 9/11 that caused all these cancers/diseases. These firefighters and civilian volunteers ran towards danger to help so many. They all deserve bravery awards.
Recently, within the year, I found a video footage that I never saw before. It's the ships who came to help the fleeing people get off the island to the other side. Remember, at the time, all transportation stopped. I cried on that video, too. I posted the link on that thread I started for needing something funny in your life. It's Not funny - but it is a very touching video. Which I thought deserved to be mentioned - in case someone else was interested. I still watch that video once in a while. And I still cry when I watch it.
The one that causes me the saddest emotions - is the one where all the passengers realized what is happening via the plane phone, saying goodbyes to their family, and those who never got to reach their family and so left a message on the answering machine. How courageous they were - to bring the plane down before it did more harm to the people on the ground. This - I cannot watch. Too sad for me. You know, there was a family with their 2 kids who died on that plane.
I have been looking for another place to live but he also closed out the account that I have been managing for the past 18 years to keep up a float.
I am lost & alone, I have contacted agencies in town with out any help.
He has become violent & has hurt me. I did call the police but he took off before they came. I do not want him in jail for it would server no one. I asked for Psychiatric care for him. I got no where.
I AM OPEN TO ANY ADVICE.
Take care,
Love, many prayers and a big cyber hug!
I had been finalizing my makeup and headed to work..on the way there, the second plane had struck. I felt like I went numb....by the time I got into my office at the DA's office, everyone was gathering in the conference room...no one could believe what was happening...soon after, the plane hit the Pentagon...
I remember watching the towers as the first one fell...everyone looked on in horror..some of us cried...me included...It felt like the world was ending...in fact I thought that was what could be happening...as the day wore on it just got worse and worse as we heard of the plane that had gone down in Pennsylvania....
Our office finally announced we were closing early and we were all informed we might ought to be sure we had plenty of gas as there had been reports that a lot of the transportation industry was going to be affected...and it was....I went ahead and filled up on the way home and remember the total silence ...that's one of the things I remember most...because all planes had been called in...nothing in the air...total and complete silence..people walking around looking like they were in shock...
I didn't know whether to go home to Mama's or what to do...I remember we all called each other and Mama told me to stay put, she didn't want me on the highway at a time like this...I remember we even made sure we told one another how much we loved each other...
You are right...how petty and ridiculous (and embarrassing to know that we seemingly have forgotten that horrible day) with all our current anger and hostility towards one another again...For a while after that awful day, everyone came together and became one...It frightens me to know that when we forget what happened, history tends to repeat itself....I pray that does not happen again..but I know we live in a troubled times and we need to never ever remember that day...for those who were not so fortunate, who walked out their doors to go to work or wherever and never came home again....all the first responders who were going up when those who could were coming down....and I will never forget that chaplain ...he was on a lot of the footage....even just moments before he lost his life ....stories of people holding hands and jumping to keep from burning....the horror of it all reminds me and hopefully everyone that we need to be mindful..and not forget and take what we have for granted...it can be gone in the blink of an eye......hugs to all of you today...and love...God Bless the United States of America....I love my country.