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Ladee, if she wants dysfunction, she needs to read the dysfunctional thread! My book is there. ;-)

Ms. V, please get to feeling better soon. What you have missed!
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https://www.agingcare.com/Members/Veronica91

Veronica, I am sure would like to hear from any of us!
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My daddy's gone
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LadeeC, I'm so sorry. {{{{HUGS}}}}
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Sorry to hear about this LC. Be good to yourself.
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It's been years but we are back to power load shedding. Perfect timing that those lanterns came in. Now if I can find a rechargeable small fan for dad. He kept complaining how hot it was. Our generator sounds awful. I think it's beginning to die soon after. It "put-put " while running....
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Good afternoon to all the caregivers who read this post. We are courageous and a bit crazy. This is a job full-time plus. Today is Sunday and on Sundays I rest a little. My mom is peaceful today we have no place to go, no cooking, no cleaning the least amount of fuss as possible. The weekly grind is exhausting in every way mentally, physically but most of all emotionally. This dementia is horrible and I hate it. I miss my freedom.
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Had a week from hell last week, and seems this one will not be any different... so much drama in this family, no communication that is lasting. The youngest daughter is not pulling her load, imagine that, a family member dumping on the rest of them ! H not hearing half of what is said and just taking what he heard and running with it. J on constant anxiety mode. I have been going over to put her to bed at night. That was a 'being put on the spot' thing that turned into a every night thing.. not getting paid, oh I know, poor me, but this is my JOB after all. Finally had enough and told two of the daughters Sunday night would be my last night to do this... hmm, what ya'll wanna bet they figure it out... H could do it, but shows no interest in helping his daughters out with this....
He goes to play dominoes Fri. afternoons.... at first he was 5 minutes late, then 10, and this past Fri he is an hour late... J bouncing off the walls worried about him, me trying to calm her down, the youngest daughter calling to make sure the weekend was covered....and I went over the edge. Told the youngest daughter I was being taken advantage of and I would not keep doing this...
Go to do my last night and all kinds of chaos !!!! It is one medical catastrophe after another with this family... the kids, their spouses... and I finally had to draw a line....I just hate it that I give a damn, get taken advantage of every single time. But with a deep sigh of releif I drove away from there last night knowing they were either going to sink or swim.....I am simply the caregiver, not the glue that holds all that chaos together.... so onward, with a smile on my face, to do what I was hired to do.... lots of hugs to all of you..just sucks that we can do this, and we do, every day. love to all of you.
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Ladee, WHY are people so bloody chaotic??? Who are you supposed to be, some kind of elder care Mary Poppins? Ugh.

I know it's been said before, but these people have no flaming idea how lucky they are to have you. Cash would be nicer, I know, but meanwhile here are hugs in lieu.
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Whenever I read your posts, Ladee, it reminds me not to take advantage of the paid caregiver. Not that I do. Just in case. I'm not making sense. Sorry, saved the best for last and my brain is now mushy. Too bad. You do what you need to do. {{HUGS}} sorry... laptop screen is blurring. Time to hit the sack. And it's only 10:53pm. I bet you, if I sleep this early, I will wake up wide awake at 4am. Night...
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Bookluvr, you certainly deserve to treat yourself and you sound good, so happy to read. XOXO
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CM, I will always take the hug.... Guess it's just like all families that get into ruts of behaviors and reactions. But I am an 'outsider' and can only do so much... I have all sorts of suggestions, because I am not emotionally involved in all the drama, but no one has asked me... lol.... but I do, and will continue to stand up for myself.....If I can hang until the end of the year..... I will financially stable enough to quit caregiving altogether...most of ya'll are stuck with it and stupid me keeps volunteering.... there is just fundamentally something wrong with our brains I think, if not before, then after years of this we are all pretty much on the same wave length.... sad and funny at the same time..... but get to stay home tonight and guess what... they actually figured it out this weekend...I am SO impressed... and yes, I am being sarcastic... but am going to take it easy this evening, haven't got to take my bra off after work for over a month.... guess what came off as soon as i stepped in the house.... oh ya, I'm home.... hugs to ya CM...
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Oh Ladee!, I am able to take my bra off in the dang car! And I have been known to do so... I had to quit wearing underwires to work because they drove me crazy after a 12 hour shift... TMI I know...
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Pam, I am pretty large breasted so try not to freak out the public and keep mine on until I get home, and remember, I am 65, those girls haven't been where they are supposed to be for YEARS... so the old bra strap thru the arm hole of my shirt as soon as the my front door closes.....and then they just hang there and smile...
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Had a wonderful day with Mom yesterday. We celebrated her 93rd birthday with my daughters and all their families (5 grands ages 2-7). She really enjoyed it. The kids are so wonderful around her. They seem to know she is old and frail. After everyone left, she was ready to go back to her assisted living and go to bed. My sister came down from Nashville and when she does, bless her heart, she throws a pallet on Mom's floor and stays with her. Mom LOVES it. But after such a great day, my sister called this morning and told me that Mom got up in the middle of the night several times, turned the lights on and off, and took all the clocks off the walls and put them around her bed. More strange behavior...but at least this time is it harmless. We are assuming she was concerned that she wouldn't wake up in time this morning. All and all a good couple days for Mom.
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Ladee.. I say I am "unleashing the hounds of war"... and I am not that young either!!
OK... so I need your support (lol) here. I am starting a diet again tomorrow. WW as it is. I feel fine when I look in the mirror. but then I see a picture of myself and What the Heck??? How did that happen?? My fat clothes are tight! Mom eats almost nothing, and hubs and I cook ALOT to try to tempt her. I am sort of short and this is no longer avoidable! First I have to dump the beer drinking...LOL but fruit and veg are in the house!
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Country mouse: what a fabulous idea for a funny movie or tv sitcom!!! Mary Poppins, the caregiver for an elder. Imagine all the sad, absurd, tough stuff packed into a hilarious movie that everyone can vent with, laugh with, and maybe get a deeper perspective of everyone's role in care giving and in the ones that are NOT helping too! Anyone out there going to take this challenge on? Pass it on to your (ahem) Hollywood contacts. :)
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Starting to really get concerned about my mental health! Usually, the full moon unsettles me so I take it easy and keep a low profile. NOT THIS TIME!! I am ok, feeling fine, had a nice week, visited with f a m i l y. No bad effects from the supermoon, wasn't it amazing? I am going to pray for so many of you!
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Pam, unless it is really bothering you, just change what you eat... and ya, the beer might be contributor here. After my most precious last client , before this one, died, I started loosing weight... still coming off, slowly... a bad three month depression contributed I'm sure.... but I stopped caring about this big ol' a** a long time ago.... I am healthy, for the most part, my body is shot from so many years of caregiving, but other than that, I'm ok.... but I have been divorced for over 20 years, so dont have a husband frowning when I undress. Just try eating different and not stay focused on the goal of loosing weight. but you have my support for a healthier lifestyle. hugs.
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Ladee, I've learned a Lot from the various caregivers who used to do mom. I never really took offense when they .. okay.. I correct myself. I would watch them And Ask questions. "Why are you doing that? I do it this way. Why..why?..." I guess most of the family you work with already think they know how it's done that they're not willing to learn any other way? That's foolish.

Dad's new paid caregiver will be starting to work this Saturday. I sure hope Dad really likes her. She works regularly at the nursing home. I think I can learn some stuff with her. We will see. Oh, I just reminded myself to type notes for dad's care on Saturdays... which pills for which time, etc...

By the way, you guys made me laugh talking about your bra. I wish you can 'give me just a tiny bit'. Not too much. I hate to look funny with a skinny frame and an oversize breast under 5 feet tall. I'm not greedy.

Pam, I've been researching on how to lose weight (more like the tummy.) From what I read - several mini meals a day, no late snacks, etc... I'm failing on the drinking water. and other stuff too.. .at least I shared that grape soda with dad (and not drink the whole can)!
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Book, ok, you told I will too. Yup, the bra talk is interesting kind of funny. But, I, like you could use some help in that regard. I am 5'9" 130-135 pounds and abolutely nothing up top. I could use some for sure. Usually do not even wear a bra. If I would gain some weight it would help or get implants, but not going there. And I absolutely detest bras especially in the summer! But, hopefully back to work soon so will have to figure out a comfortable way to deal with it.
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My mother is being so nice today. I am checking the news to see if hell froze over last night.
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Jessie .. just enjoy it while it lasts!!
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JessieBelle, she's obviously being affected by the red moon phenomena. My dad has changed, too. Since a year ago, he's been doing his best in behaving and being grateful. This after a Lot of our initial famous yelling matches and him telling me that that's why they had children - to take care of them in their old age. I once in a while wonder about this change. Like LadeeC said, enjoy it while it lasts!
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I know it won't last, but it is so much better today than it has been. Helping nice people is so much easier than helping grisly-bear people. I know you know what I'm talking about, book.
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I have to add my two cents about bras. We used to call them over the shoulder boulder holders. In my case over the shoulder peach holders.
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Jessie, I agree when people are nice its a pleasure to help them. Some people are very unpredictable which makes it rough for everyone else. Short tempers and impatience make it very difficult. On days when my mother is in good spirits my father isn't. Fun and games!
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Well my decision to quit caregiving was made for me today.... Was at the Dr's office to get some meds refilled and started feeling really strange, long story short, I had a mild heart attack !!! Just got home from the ER.. appt with Cardiologist next month.... nope, no more stress of keeping my mouth shut, being the target for temper tantrums, being taken advantage of, and on and on and on......Guess what I was too stupid to do on my own, God helped me along with allowing a major wake up call.... going to bed and sleep for three days..... love ya'll....
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Ladee, oh my gosh! I am sorry to hear that. Take care of YOU and get some rest.
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I am defientaly going to get some rest... got my son to take my dog, the cat does as she damned well pleases, so food and water is all she needs... and quite... blessed quite... Have not given the 'quitting' one thought.... This is my wake up call and could have been so much worse.... so more tomorrow when my brain and body is rested.... lots of love and gratitude Glad... thanks for the support...
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