This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Book, I support you. No matter what. Your beliefs are not mine to question or doubt. And read what you will, and listen to your heart. You have so much to offer others, and we all love you here.
Forgive me for pointing this out, because even though iron sharpens iron, it is not a woman's role (imop) to correct/teach a man. I am such a hypocrite.
Correct.
I found this clinic by a google search and their website invited a call if you wanted something more immediate. So, I called and said, "my dad just died, I've been doing 7 years of caregiving and hope to get a sooner appointment." I just got confirmation, today, that I could take advantage of another client's cancellation, and I'm going, first thing in the morning. Yay!!
My husband is showing a new series on his computer, and I am invited.
Vstefans and Cmag, I understand where you're coming from. It was just terrible timing. That's all.
I'm just so tired all the time. Exhausted. It's dealing with stress at home and at work. Sometimes, if I really stop to think, I feel as if I'm about to crack. It's just a cycle I go through. I know the procedure. Just concentrate on each day.
Yesterday, I came home from work past 7pm. I was so swamped with work, and the accountant wants Septembers books - which I haven't even started on. Yesterday, I didn't even email 3 travel requests from my clients. Work is very stressful as it is - when dealing with the customers. It's doubled and tripled stress when bosses are nitpicking every single word I say, I write in my emails and my Decisions. Wife and I almost had it out over my client's situation. She got the call, took notes and handed it to me. Then when I dealt with the situation, she starts nitpicking my decision. I did my Very Best to Not Raise My Voice at her. She needs to back off. She didn't want to deal with it, gave it to me, so - Back Off! I rudely interrupted her and said, "All that other stuff is not important. What IS Important is - can we make the change NOW before the client leaves or after the client leaves? The airline answered my question. And I told the client that we will change his return flight After he leaves island tomorrow." Wife kept her mouth shut. If she wants to micromanage my clients - then she should have dealt with it when she got the call. When she gave it to me to handle - then I will handle it My Way. They are driving me crazy!
Sometimes, I want to give up on everything. I read an online blog about depression. I was surfing the web. The blogger said that people would ask her when their depression gets so bad, that they don't want to work at all, hate their jobs, etc.. - should the quit their job? Or should they continue to force themselves to get up and go to a job they hate. The blogger said that we each know our situations and need to determine it accordingly. However, from her experiences, it's best to keep the job and continue. I didn't finish the rest of her comments. I had what I needed. I will continue with my job BUT I will also need to keep track of ME. The other day, I was almost pushed over the edge at work. Fortunately, the boss did not 'have a talk with me.' There is only so much I can handle - and I had reached that limit - on that day. I still have $6000 car loan left to pay off.
New caregiver didn't show up today. Back to looking for another one.
LadeeC