This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
I have my first appt with the cardiologist next monday.....am already prepared to tell him NO on any kind of surgery..... I hear he is a wonderful Dr and does not advocate the 'cutting route' unless it is life saving emergency... so am looking forward to finding ways to get healthier without a ton of other poison being put back in my body... love ya !!!
Book,sooooooo glad to hear from you... I hate the situation you are in... but support you no matter what... and HOORAY for you telling the bosses wife what you did..... that alone will take some of the pressure off.... just like I did with J about the way she speaks to me... she had been a 'good girl' ever since....
Glad, I want to quit my job and you can't find one, or aren't hearing as fast as you would like... life is so crazy..... and then we get crazy....so hope you hear something soon....
And JillyBean, I don't know you, but that was one powerful one word post..... so thank you for sharing that !!!! Awesome... but do hope things are getting better for you....
Everyone else... hope things were at least somewhat manageable for you today... sending gentle hugs and chocolate to you all.
My kids all live down there hope I get to see them more often. Looking forward to getting my sewing machine out of storage. Now grands range in age from 4-8. I can make all sorts of cute things for them. My mom taught me to sew when I was in fifth grade she was quite the seamstress and has her degree in home economics and textiles. A bit bittersweet thinking about. I am planning on making xmas dresses for the grandgirls. Purple corderoy, for whatever reason mom had about 10 yards of it, hemmed around the edges, maybe a tablecloth for one very, very long table. Who the heck knows!
Since crystal balls don't exist like a GPS for our lives, let us more forward in looking at the other side of what scares us about major changes in our life to the other side of hope and faith that can have some excitement and hope about such a new future with the kind of changes going on in your life right now.
I could almost imagine an fictional discussion between two twins in their mother's womb. One says to the other, "I am not sure that I want to leave this place." Then comes a labor contraction and the other twin says, "I don't think we have any choice but to leave here soon. See ya on the other siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide!"
I wish you the very best with these drastic, major changes in your life! May the sun rise to great you, and you find renewed strength and liveliness like a butterfly free from its cocoon as you more forward with your life. Take care. Do something nice for you.
Love, cyber hugs, and prayers!
Just remember to take deep breaths to help find calmness. {{HUGS}}
Magnum, thanks, there is some excitement, actually probably closer to anxiety. I will get there.
I still like watching the Property Brothers. =)
Midnight and dad is still talking.
{{{{Hugs, lol}}}}} CMag, knew that would freak you out if you had to explain.
I never heard of fruit/drain flies. So, I just googled it. The female fruit flies will lay eggs inside the drain - kitchen and shower drains. Pam is correct about the bleach. The thing is, you need to pour bleach in your drains regularly to keep the fruitflies away. It's recommended to unscrew the drain cover, and then pour the bleach in. By removing the cover, you will be able to cover all around the drain with the bleach. This procedure is to Kill the eggs laid inside the drain.
To kill or cut back the fruit/drain flies, you will also need to make your own fruit fly traps (4-5 traps) depending how bad it is. There are different fruit fly traps that you can make. Google: thebugsquad - fruit fly trip
It's not only food that draws the fruit flies into the house. Fruit flies are also drawn to the cat litter. You need to change the litter regularly, and strategically set one of your home-made fruit fly trap near it. This way they go to the trap and not to the litter.
So, for you guys, it's fruit flies season.
Yesterday, I was able to grab the last 2 seats to Singapore with an airfare of $890.00 but it was 7-8 hours layover in Japan in Each Direction. The airfare with short layovers was over $2200.00 per person. Today, I found an airfare of $990, with a shorter layover in Japan on the Return flight. I called the coordinator and gave him the good news.
AGAIN, I asked him to please verify if his co-worker's name is what he gave to me. He said that he still has her boarding pass from the last trip. Doesn't that mean it's what's on her passport? I said "no". Like now, you gave me her name as "Julie Andrews". I will book it as Julie Andrews but that may not be her name in the passport. Hours later, he sends me an email: Her full name is: Julie Jones Miller." I tried to change her name - and I couldn't. I called him up to break the bad news. He was upset and tried to blame it on me. I said that that's why I ask fo r the passport name. The airlines don't do name changes.
Anyway, I had to cancel her reservation because there's no way she can travel as Julie Andrews where there's not even an "Andrews" in her passport. We stayed on the phone while he was panicking. I rebooked the flights for her, and kept coming up with $2200-some. After a while, I found the same fare on the same flights. He was sooooo relieved.
I said, "I got it! The same flights, the same airfare! You guys are soooo fortunate!"
He replied, "NO! YOU are brilliant!"
=) Me smiling here. Ladee, I am grateful that this client appreciated that I do my best to get what they want - best route, best airfare. Now if he can just tell my bosses!!!!
So, this bank, today, is the payroll bank. She said, "Good morning!" without a smile. I greeted back with a big smile, "Hi! Good morning!" She paused and smiled. She said, "Every time you come in, you are so cheerful, perky!" Then she asked my name. Sigh.. Finally!!! Most tellers (and USPS postal workers) tend to be very friendly with me quickly.
I never want to be a teller. I have stood in line for years. And eavesdrop a lot. These tellers are treated as non-person. People walk up to them, do their business with no greetings or smile. So, I make it a point to smile and be very friendly to them. I just feel so sorry for them. Now, when i go to different bank branches or different Post Offices, I'm greeted out loud with my name. =)
Another gratefulness. Wow, 2 in one day! All of your thoughts/prayers are working. Thank you!
to find the cheaper flights.