This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
When your father went to the hospital, did you sign anything (like in the admission papers or the discharge papers) on one of those, "Sign here .... and here .... and here..." kind of paperwork? I used to sign ALL of the 'heres' before I overheard someone telling a friend that she didn't know that by signing all those 'heres' that she was also signing a promissory note that if her parent couldn't pay for the bill, then she will. I was shocked. I have hanging over my head - of the hospital coming after me for both of mom and dad's ER visits all these years!!!
Pam, with mom's last visit to the hospital (she arrived deceased since she died here at home), older sis traveled with her body to the ER. I warned my siblings about signing the hospital papers. Well, the hospital sent ME a bill for mom's last visit to the ER. It seems both Medicare and mom's private insurance both refused to pay for some stuff (body bag was one of it.) I went to the hospital and disputed the billing to me since I did not go to the hospital with mom (I was at work). Sure enough, they pulled out mom's admission papers - and my name was no where on it.
Still raining here...and I think part of tomorrow, then the remnants of this hurricane are headed towards you folks in the NE....We needed rain badly here, so it hasn't been a problem for us...hopefully by the time it gets there it won't cause yall any issues....
Glad, hope your move continues to go smoothly, and the same for you RA...may all be well for all of you...
I miss my laptop. It has all mine and my dad's expense accounts, billing charts, and budget of when to pay for what bills. I also realized today, that I cannot access my credit card accounts to see the balance due and to download the statements. I refuse to use my iPad to access my bank/credit card accounts. I surf too much on it on FaceBook (notorious for virus/spywares) and YouTube videos. Plus, Apple insist that we don't need an antivirus for the iPad. I'm a little leery about that! Plus, when I go places, I bring my iPad and then hop on to a free wi-fi (which also has No protection for your device).
Or Rick who started panicking because his wife was gone too long. He was so scared, he couldn't move. His wife only left him alone 3 minutes. I've also learned that time durations are definitely different.
Lost the remote. He couldn't find it in all the usual places. He checked where he usually keeps the remote. It's not there He looks all over. Finally he finds it- where it belongs. ... The article says that their eyes is not transmitting t the brain.
...............
Okay, iPad getting blurry. Time to call it a night. Nigh/Morning!
Oh, no. Now I've depressed myself. :(
I'm also in the throes of figuring out why I am seeing double out of each eye separately.
Sigh
"Have you ever stopped to think ...
... and then forgotten to start again."
PCVS, I hope it's nothing serious about the blurry vision. Maybe just fatigue eyes that need a little pampering.
Stellach, My FIL has lived with us for 11 years now, and Not once, has his other Son or Daughter ever even come to see him since their Mother funeral. but they do call, once and a while, and it always tends to stir things between my FIL and my husband who of course bears the brunt of all the care, the burden and the burnout. it always amazes me just how much chaos they can cause, with these stupid calls, as they always bring up a host of animosity, as to my husband, their calls seem to only be about "checking to really see just how close to death, their father truly is" according to my husband. so therefore, will they be receiving anything moneywise, when he does indeed pass. FIL is nearly 86, has age related decline, Diabetes, and Mantel Cell Lymphoma, which is in a wait and watch status post treatment 10 years ago, and he is a huge fall risk, to the point that he cannot be left alone for more than an hour or two. Yes, my husband is extremely bitter, but what can you do? nothing is ever going to change in regards to his siblings ever being more involved in his care, and at this point, I would feel Completely uncomfortable with either of them ever even entering my home, as I don't trust either of them, and fear they would attempt to rob us blind, they are that creepy. This dysfunction is nothing new, in the 31 years that I have been with my husband, he was the only one of the tree kids to Ever have a normal relationship with his parents, and the other two have only ever caused them pain and havoc.