This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
We just had a short spat. I told him to find someone to replace me so that I can move out. He ordered me to move out - several times. I said that i will - as soon as he finds someone.
I dread work tomorrow. But I am soooo looking forward to going to work tomorrow. Anywhere is better than here.
Sometimes, I regret not agreeing to join baby sis and her family in Hawaii in February. I'm saving my 2 weeks vacation for the free ticket to Colorado Springs in the summer. Nothing against Colorado, but I really do like Hawaii. I need to hustle and find a caregiver to cover dad the day times from Monday to Fridays, so that oldest sis takes over the night shifts. And niece covers the Weekends daytime.
My work hours are now back to my original pt hours as my co worker has been back to work and slowly increasing his hours.
I did have the last two weeks of December foot pain and since Thanksgiving hip pain(mainly after sitting) the hip pain did not bother me at work since I am on my feet the entire day.
Turns out I have mild to moderate arthritis and some bone spurs in areas of my left foot. Am on prescription naproxen. Then I caught a cold and Saturday morning one of my cats deciding to walk across me while I was still in bed. I pushed him and he left a long scratch/claw mark right under my left eye.
Dad turned 86 last month. Health is still good but I notice he struggles a bit getting out of chairs (with arms on the chairs). He stares out the window in his room and see things. Yesterday it was blue people (smurfs!). Or airplanes landing. He will have a conversation about what he sees. Sometimes it's just easier to agree with him. Got him a new lamp with a pull chain figuring it would be easier for him but not sure if he is using it. Maybe put his lamp on a timer?
I laid on the bed, inched myself backward until my head partially dangled off the bed's edge. I had the bed's edge against the upper neck with the rest of my head dangling. Oooohhh. There was a sudden rush of blood onto my head. I had to close my eyes because it was just so much blood rush. After it calmed down, I opened my eyes and just relaxed my whole body. My spine was stretching. And hurting as it stretched. Still remained relaxed as I concentrated on the sensations of my back and head.
Once everything stabilized. I inched more backwards. This time, the bed's edge was halfway on the back of my neck. Wow... I was suppose to put my whole head off the bed, dangling .. But I have a neck problem. I'm not foolish to do that with weak neck muscles. I just stopped at that - halfway to my neck. I inched myself back onto the bed and just relaxed.
Well, this morning, I woke up with - No stuffed right face! Because I sleep fetal style - my back was hurting. So, I had to lay there flat on my back to stretch my spine again. That took out the kink.
Onedoor, that happened to me once. I had signed out of here on my laptop but kept it on in the kindle. For several days, I couldn't sign in the laptop. When I finally got through, I now keep it on 24/7.
I had dyed my hair a few weeks ago. I had a worse reaction than the last one. The 2nd to last one (June 2015), the back of my right side tongue was tingling. This last one I did - it was the whole right side of my tongue tingling. I had a cocktail function I attended this evening. One of the guest was so surprised to me with my dyed hair. She couldn't believe it. She said that I look like a teenager. I'm short and skinny. Too bad that this will be the last time I dye my hair. I'm going to try to do highlights soon. See if I have any reactions to that.
She knows that he has an appointment tomorrow. She knows that all his daily tshirts are covered with his spilled oil. Those soiled shirts have been there since Wednesday. I went looking for the new tshirt hanging in the porch. Nothing. Not one single shirt was hanging. I then checked the clean laundry shelf. Nothing. I even looked between the sheets, the towels, the washable waterproof pads. Nothing. I then went to the kitchen. There is the shirt - among all the other soiled shirts. Sigh... I went back to the laundry shelf. Not one single shirt is free of the strong oil smell. Ugh! I went back to the laundry basket and took out the new tshirt. He's just going to have to use it tomorrow! Good thing I hid his good slacks last night. I don't know why sis cannot wash ALL his laundry. I mean - 3 or 4 pieces of tshirts does NOT take up so much space in the washer! Okay. I'm done venting.
At the function, one of the sponsors was talking to me. Her husband's mother and now his aunty have dementia. She was asking me lots of questions about my parents, me, my sibs (help?), etc... It seems her hubby's siblings are accusing them of stealing their mother's money. She told me that if his mother wants to eat out - of course they go eat out. If she wants her hair done and manicures, they will do so.
Only you would truly understand it. Think about what's been happening to you lately. Something triggered your dream. High school classmates could be an upcoming high school reunion, your coworkers and after hours socializing. Anything new with your dad? Is he having money problem? Official Person- your boss?
Sorry. Past midnight and my brain became sloshy. Too tired to think...
SherylBeth - My mother has issues with skin fold irritation too - they can be nasty and the odor can knock you right off your feet. Ask the doctor to prescribe InterDry - tell him it's made by Coloplast. It's a very lightweight fabric that is impregnated with Antimicrobial Silver Complex. You don't put anything on it - you just wash and thoroughly dry the skin fold, and then put the fabric into the fold. It stops the skin-on-skin contact (which is what causes the irritation), absorbs moisture and the silver kills and prevents bacteria from forming. It will heal up broken down skin in those folds within a week without having to take antibiotics. If the doc won't prescribe it, you can buy it online (Google it) but it's pricey - about $70 for a roll that will last a couple of weeks if used every day.
I don't even know the resources that you can turn to for housing. Online and newspaper ads?
Live-in help is hard to find, experienced help even harder. Your current situation might also allow the small fib that the family would like you to stay there "for a bit, to help you out" because of your recent (real!) tragedy, while their real motivation is that the elder needs assistance, but is rejecting caregivers.
Many elderly folk HATE being seen as "needy", but love being able to "help out" others.
Clear communication with family & clear expectations of duties will be incredibly important, of course.
He, he! So much fun, until they boot him off...
The newbies are going to be so " offended"... Oh and wait till the "holy rollers" read his posts!!
This is going to be so much fun...
Just what the Dr ordered...
Don't let it bother you.. Much greater things to worry about as a parent...
Media madness!
While driving around doing errands, my attention immediately went to the radio. The radio DJ wished me a happy bday. OMGoodness!! I don't celebrate birthdays. Now someone has announced it to the whole island that it's my bday (not really, they're off base.) I have given a false bday on FaceBook (July), here on AC (Feb?) , on any websites that asks it.... Shoots, I don't even keep track on which bday is on which website...
Still waiting for nephew's girlfriend if she's willing to babysit my dad so that I can take a 2 week vacation using my free Delta ticket. I offered $500 for 2 weeks on weekdays or $700 to include the weekends. Oldest sis can take over the night shifts. If she cannot, I will most likely not be able to go then... Fave niece has a full load college classes and nurse-to-be niece has a newborn cranky baby (my gosh can she cry! nonstop! loud! nonstop!)
Aveda do a good line in colour enhancing hair care products, too - not dyes, just subtle tints if you're looking for a graceful exit from the full highlight job.
My hair's turning white, and I plan to live with it. Once you start, you're stuck is my thinking - and apart from anything else, I resent the idea of shelling out so much money every six weeks just to look like I've had my head re-sprayed. I've no faith in the average high street colourist's ability to get hair colour to tone with skin colour, either - you do see some very peculiar mis-matches wandering around the place.
But! - in the end, you must absolutely please yourself. Whose head is it, anyway? If a shocking pink wig takes your fancy, go to it!
I researched henna dyes. From what I read, it's difficult and messy to use and the outcome is iffy. Also, experts reminded the reader that some people may have reaction to Henna if they're sensitive/allergic to ragweed. My scalp cannot handle those lice killer (e.g. Nit). When I use it, my scalp is painful. Therefore, I've decided that I will not order the Henna hair dye.
Let me research the Aveda. Thanks for the tip.
As for the wigs, I saw a really nice pink one at the mall. I'd prefer purple since that's my fave color. I've already ordered since last year a nice normal wig. But when I saw the colorful one, I changed my mind. Except.. I'm torn about this. I need to look my age and not look like a wannabe teenager! So, I'm still brainstorming. Anyway, I'm getting a very obvious bald spot right in the front center of my head. My eyes keep getting drawn to that white bald head spot... And I'm not even age 50 yet....
Good to note that blonde dye cause much less cancer than going brown or black.
Love you!
The highlight I had yesterday was a unique way of doing it. In the past, ALL my salonists would use foil to wrap each strands of hair. My scalp would be burning despite the foil. I went to this last salonist for my haircut - which I love it! (Think Japanese female haircut bob!) When she was doing my haircut, I asked her if she dyes hair for those who allergic to the dyes. She said yes. So, when I came in yesterday, she must of remembered my question. And used a CAP to cover my dry hair, then pulled strands of hair through it. She brushed the dye all over the cap. I kept waiting to feel my scalp to hurt - and it didn't. Except - my whole lips started tingling badly within 15 minutes. The previous dye took 20 minutes for a reaction. See, I'm reacting faster to the dye. That's dangerous. It's time to stop. All I have to do is recall those photos. Scary....
Still brainstorming....