This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
It's just cabbage, onions, carrots and celery with a little vegetable oil and vinegar. Mom swears it keeps her regular. Pinch of salt and sugar too.
Yes my dear, nothing is like homemade. I never get a break. It sucks!
Momcare, I know what you mean about the dental being a highlight. Here on island, people were dying that one year from the hospital. I was soooo looking forward to my surgery because: 1. It would give me complete 100% vacation from caregiving bedridden stomach tube, throat trache, oxygen machine, completely vegetative state mom. And 2. I was sooo hoping that the surgery would kill me (and end my miserable caregiving life.) I will admit that when I woke up from the surgery, I was so disappointed that I didn’t join the others who died from our hospital. I know it’s not much.. but here’s a great big cyber {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
And ((hugs)). Your life has been so hard, there has to be payback somewhere in your future.
I can't stop looking at the clock.. I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve!
He, He, He.. Woo Hoo..
So, I went back to Amazon to order a new set of screen protectors (with at least 3 in it because I'm lousy at installing and tend to mess up the first time). I found one for $7.86. Went to cart, then to purchase ... and was shocked that they wanted to charge me $13.00 for shipping! I Don't Think so.... I went to Ebay, and found a good set of 3 for the price of $4.99 for 4 screens with Free shipping. I've ordered ALL my kindles and iPads screen protectors online. And I never had to pay $13.00 for shipping. And yes, the last screen protector - matte - was from Amazon.
Okay, I've asked fave sis and niece-going-to-be-a-nurse to please help me find a caregiver who is NOT independent but from an organization. After that last incident with the caregiver whom dad thought she deserved anything and everything, and she ignored me and oldest sis ... I was just sooo glad that she worked at an organization because i made a formal complaint. HR immediately pulled her away from home visits and she was instructed to stay away from my dad, this house and any of the family. I realized that if we hire an independent caregiver and she was up to no good, I would have no other recourse to get rid of her. As long as dad is competent, he can do whatever he wants and she doesn't have to listen to me or sis or anyone but dad. Scary situation in which I am just sooo grateful she was not an independent caregiver. I may not be lucky the next time.
Anyway, nephew needed $$ immediately for his wife's car (she carpools the kids.) He insisted that I charge him interest and insisted for more stuff he can do. So, I brought up my car needing to be painted. He said if I buy all the paint and supplies needed to paint it, he will do it - free labor. I gave him $900 to buy the supplies. He wants to prime it, then paint it twice, then sealant. At the moment, I don't care if he does a not-so-perfect job - as long as my car doesn't have all that peeling, corroding paint all over it! Too bad the small birds love our mango trees. They're also pooping on my car daily. No matter where I move my car, their poop finds its way on my car. (They fly from all directions to/from the tree and poop while flying.) We don't have a garage....
Anyway, Glad, I just want the car painted because the corroding paint bugs me like crazy. If you look down, you will see that the metal parts of my car (right through the tires) that's holding the tires - are quite rusty. My car's front windshield looks like it's bubbling on the frame. I asked nephew about it. He said that it looks like the windshield will be coming off the frame. Pretty soon, it will begin to leak when it rains. More auto repairs. I'm waiting for my tax refund to help pay for the windshield. Maybe they just need to re-glue it????
Few weeks ago, i was have migraines. Last week, the daily headaches are from eye strain. Time to change eye glass (another $800.00!) This week, it's eye strain headache and sinus/allergy. Mango season with 2 big mango trees front and back of the house entrances. Face is squishy, eyebrows painful, ears clogged up,etc... Maybe migraine, too, since I'm squinting as I'm typing - the light on this laptop is hurting my eyes.
I've been reading AC in the early mornings just before rising. Well. I was going to type more. Then the headache pounded so hard, I paused typing. Can't think anymore. I think I go change dad's pamper, shower, wash hair and .. maybe take Excedrin migraine before bedtime so that i can sleep peacefully and not waking up constantly because of the pounding pain.
Later. FYI, I feel so bad for all those people who died in Belgium. Sister and brother were at the airport and just texted to their mother they made it fine when they got cut off. The subway/train station where most of the people Calmly evacuated the train. No panic. No pushing. That is just amazing. They were saying that all it takes for One Person to act, and everyone would follow his/her behavior. So, if someone had panicked, screamed and yelled, trying to get off the train, others would have panicked and do the same. But because those in the lead (the one who knew how to open the train door, the lady who calmly helped people one-by-one as they got off the train, etc..) was calm, everyone else was calm.
Sigh...one more vent. I really hate cockroaches. I'm more afraid of roaches than spiders, lizards, worms, etc... I came home from work past 7p. I started preparing my dinner. And screamed aloud in fear when I suddenly saw a cockroach in the sink. Dead. I can't believe sis ate lunch, dinner and not once even tried to remove it. Why am I not surprise? I'm constantly emptying the sink drain from leftover food. One time, i didn't clean it for 2 days. When I finally did, it was like 1-inch thick with food, and when i picked up the strainer, the drain was also packed with food. OMGoodness, she could have clogged up the sink drain! We do not have a very very long snake. Venting, venting.
I used some take out wooden chopsticks to pick up the dead roach and throw it in the trash. My hand was shaking and my stomach was heaving. I really really can't stand roaches - dead or alive!
And I refused the recommendation from my previous doctor to do lasik eye surgery. He said it's completely safe and his family did it and no longer wear glasses. I saw a TV program which had 3 people who had lasik. About 10 years later, their eyes changed and nothing could be done. Lasik and eye glasses can't help their vision because they were practically blind. All 3 regretted doing lasik. Someone who had lasik told me that she was told that you can only do lasik 3 times. Anyway, I value my eyes too much to chance it with lasik.
Milan, JessieBelle- my dad hasn't reached that stage yet. I think. Lastnite, he repeatedly kept saying over and over "nutren". He stopped chanting for it only after I gave him one. He used to talk a lot. He's quieter now. I've noticed that he struggles with words. He's forgetting words. He used to know the pamper changing routine. Now he just lays there waiting for me to tell him what to do (turn, turn, up, turn, etc...) When I say 'lift', he turns. When I say 'sit', he turns. So he's mixing words, not understanding it. This has been going on for about 2 weeks now. I need to log this down.
Here's a case of a half empty or half full glass. There's a young missionary who happened to be in all 3 terror attacks - Boston, Paris and now Belgium - everyone praised how lucky he was to survive all 3 with no serious injury. That's the half full glass.
MY first thoughts were, "Oh my gosh, he's bad luck! I would never want to travel with him!" That's the half empty glass.