This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
It has been kinda quite on here today, but with everything that is going on, it's understand able.
beautiful day here at 75 degrees and sun shining - glad to hear that everyone made it through the storm without too much damage
YR so sorry that ur dad is suffering and not much can be done about it - glad u had no damage from the dust storm
stormy - hang in there - u will see the doc soon - hope he can suggest something for dad's leg and also tell you what's going on with the lymph nodes - stress does a number on ur immune system. i always got lots of colds too - we use Cold FX up here - if you take it right away the cold or flu is much less - don't know if u can get it there - do you have any allergies? hope ur doc has some suggestions
john - glad the damage wasn't worse - if a old oak was uprooted the wind must have been pretty fierce
starri - nice pics - hope things are working better - maybe I should say that Glen is working better - is squeek doing OK?
shawna -sorry about the grill but could have been worse i guess - how is the web site doing? gather mum's legs r better
vic glad u had some good "me" time - so important - homesteading in canada - oh my - you will just have to travel north - lots of wild life etc still around - hope dad is doing OK
ros - good hearing from you - hope u got ur money now and gave urself a little treat
ladee - thank God for God - like that and u r so right - can't change anyone by talking to them
jam - (didn't forget u today :-D) - sorry u have to deal with the eviction - they are no fun - why, why, why do people mess with those who r trying to give them a break
burned - good to hear from u - hope u do get some personal time and ur sister - where IS her head??? - can u give the kids time out in their bedrooom - I know it takes energy
seeme - glad it wasn't worse and that the wedding happened - hub mad at u??? I don't think so either - new shingles may not be a bad thing
asg - hope u are getting ur new computer together -
ib, mismiley,worried and anyone i have forgotten - let us know how u r
doc upped my dose of diflucan trying to get rid of the intestinal candida and I have been napping more than usual - hopefully that is why and this will do it - I am so much better but just not over it - however I haven't needed any antibiotics since feb '10 -yeay!!! so things should get sorted out eventually - still weaning off the cetirizine - will lower the dose again soon. Thursday am will get a wisdom tooth pulled - all the others went years ago so it is not doing any good anyway - don't know why they didn't pull it too - never have probs with extractions
WE HAVE A NAME FOR THE HORSE!!!
Ebony - he finally decided. I like it. Now who gets the horse manure for a prize????
dropped the hint that I would like to go away again before he settles into another session of 10 days of 24/7 out at camp and he looked interested and asked where hey I am easy - any other 4 walls than here will do. he said he is thinking about getting a cot or two for the tent - sleeping on the ground doesn't bother me - but get me a tent toilet - now that would be good - saw a simple one for $16 - heck an ice cream pail would do! - now that's an idea hmmm...
take care
Love, hugs and prayers
jo
poor kitties - between storms and heat that is so hard on them
shawna - hope ur mum's legs cooperate - this has to be hard on u physically
ladee - 105 - I think I would expire - get your new a/c -u need it!!! u really do need a break from the heat
love
jo
Emjo I like the name Ebony. It is nice and short and for the animals it is always better like this. If you have to call them, you don't waste time! I am happy that you are planning another camp. I wish I could get the hell ouf of here.
Ladee, I know what you are talking about. When I have to carry my animals to the vet in the car, and the temperature is very hot, they suffer a lot - I remember that I had literally to wet one of my cats with fresh water during one trip because she was collapsing!!! I hope you have your AC soon.
And now, back to work... What a relaxing summer I had! Like all of you.
Praying we all have a good day.
Vic-what is going on with your mom's legs? I hope they get better soon. I know we are still having to deal with dads cellulitis in his leg and it still looks bad. And no more antibiotics!!!! eek...
Emjo-how are you doing this morning? good i hope. I still got this mess in my chest. I don't have any allergies except for when the pollen starts falling. I mixed me up some home made cough meds last night. Lemon juice, honey, peppermint candy and rum. So i will see if that helps anything tonight when i can drink it.
Starri-where r u at and how r u doing girl? check in with us.
Ros- how are the babies doing? don't work to hard!!!!
Jam- how are u doing? how is the col these days?
Welcome new comers-still trying to play catch up with everyone. Come back and vent to us that's what we are here for.
Seemieeee-what's up sweetie?
I'm trying to remember everyone don't want to forget anybody.
If i did i'm sorry and i hope you have a good day.
54J-It was good to hear from you yesterday. I hope you and hubby are having a good morning. Try to get away for at least a hour a day it does wonders for the body, mind and soul. You both are in my prayers!!!!! Love you!!!
BIG LOVE AND BIG HUGS TO EVERYONE TODAY STORMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Glad to hear from those that survived the hurricane....and especially with less damage than was thought. If anyone hears from Ted, please let me know.
Pretty quiet around here this weekend. Except for buying groceries yesterday.....that was about the most energy I put forth...:)
I have been reading everyone's posts and keeping up with what you all are doing.
stormy....sorry to hear Dad's leg isn't a lot better....but you don't want him on antibiotics for too long or too much. There is the risk of developing a tolerance, but the biggie would be developing c-diff. Not a good thing.
emjo.....is it snow yet? I don't like cold weather anymore, I'm threatening to move in with ladee....or just take the RV and move in next door...:)
starri.........hope you haven't buried the hubby somewhere in the woods. Check in please....need to hear you're doing okay.
Vic.....give us a smile to start our week! You're a strong person and I admire you for that............
Ros......work, work, work...........hope you and Mom are doing well.
ladee.......try to stay cool today.....maybe you might think about one of the new upright, stand-alone air conditioners.
seeme.....gets to pick out a new roof......what happened with the patio furniture? Did it make it into the "man-cave"?
John......guess the weekend didn't turn out to be so quiet and romantic did it? Maybe next week................
I don't want to leave anyone out......so just jump in and tell us how things are.......
Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
Your body has lots of "good" and necessary bacteria. It also has some "bad" or dangerous bacteria. Clostridium difficile is a "bad" bacteria. Fortunately, when you are healthy and not taking antibiotics, the millions of good bacteria in your system keep the c - diff under control and in smaller numbers. However, when you take an antibiotic, the levels of good bacteria are reduced down to a smaller number. If your c-diff is strong and doesn't get killed by the antibiotic along with the good bacteria, then it is possible that the c-diff will overpopulate inside your intestine or colon. When this happens, you may get the illness called clostridium difficile colitis.
When you have an imbalance of bacteria and c-diff takes over, it creates two main types of toxins that affect your body and give you the symptoms of the actual disease. The toxins attack your intestinal wall and left untreated may cause ulcerations. Your symptoms may include diarrhea and cramping at first. The later stages are commonly flu-like symptoms of weakness, dehydration, fever, nausea, vomiting and in advanced stages - blood in your stool / feces. If a patient is left untreated, they can die from it. This is rare. It has been reported that clostridium difficile is mostly only contagious from other people through the fecal-oral route To avoid spreading this - one should clean thoroughly all toilets, utensils and fixtures (wearing rubber gloves) while in the same house or ward to avoid cross-contamination. In addition, people should always wash their hands while preparing food regardless of if they have c-diff or not. While using these simple precautions, normally it is rare to spread c-diff and there is no need for hysteria or paranoia about catching it.
Ladee – nothing wrong with feeling ur feelings – u have been through more than enough, hope Marie behaves today and has thought about the “talk”
Stormy I am pretty good – a little crabby, which I hate, but pretty good. Cough meds sound good – we use Buckley’s here – strong - wahoo - but it works - mother had c diff from too many antibiotics - she got over it
Jam - wow - good explanation of c diff. mother had it and recovered - no snow till about the end of October –at least none that stays – up here u would be like the people who come from much warmer climes –wearing everything u own and putting a down filled parka on top off it - before the snow comes - reminds me of a story
One year ex and I made a trip to Lake Louise in the Rockies to a seminar about the end of October. It was cool and I like that feeling against my skin. Before breakfast I took a walk by the lake wearing only a suit – no coat. U could see ur breath a little but it was nice and fresh. There were some other people out walking and they must have been from the states and more south than Montana which is south of us. They were dressed with hats and gloves and scarves and parkas. The look on their faces was priceless. Obviously they thought I was a total nut! Maybe they were right!!! ;)
Starri – how’s the trip is going – spa time soon?
Seeme – how’s mum after all the excitement –and r u headed for the spa yet?
YR - hope dad is better today (((((hugs))))) watching someone you love in pain is hard
Vic – seems we do have the bush in common – I am going back to it once in a while now after years away – it is either now or never I think as the years pass by. I will post more about it to share with everyone
54 - more ((((((hugs))))))
Everyone else – let us know how u r doing
Love y’all
We go into these drs. appts thinking we are going to find out something and come walking out saying well they didn't tell us sh$#. It almost makes you want to quit going to the damn things. Especially when you have to try to get someone who can barely breathe up and going. And you just feel like "What's the use in even trying anymore."
Well, i guess i will get off of here for now. LOVE AND HUGS STORMYYYYYYYYYY
emjo.........loved the video of the dog. Brrrrrrr.....so how much snow do you normally get in the winter? We had a horrible winter.....the last snow was around two feet, maybe a little more. We haven't had something that bad in years. We just bought a snow blower and I keep hoping we won't have to use it.
We're going to have to put out an APB on Starri......I'm worried about her.....going to try and send her a text message and see if I can raise her. That doesn't work, I'll just call her and bother her.
Prayers for Bonnie O and Vic let me know Ted and Mom are okay......thank you again!
Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
Marie was just a straight up menace today.... I just finally went on about my business and ignored her..... I decided today to just be bored. why would I go out and find another job where I am stressed beyond words, probably get paid less, and have to drive further... we'll just blame it on the heat.. I am blaming everything on the heat...lol
Do not know what is going on with Sonny , but he was very out of it today..... I know his back hurt, after breakfast I gave him two tylenol, when I was getting the bottle down, Marie asked what I was doing, getting soony tylenol, why, because his back hurts, no, blah blah blah blah, I gave it to him anyway and went in there and told her I gave them to him, sorry if he lays down and it interferes with your nap, but he is in pain...... walked out...... that is how I am going to roll, cause I can...
Hope everyone is ok today, will check back in later..... need to get this place picked up some, tiny space, doesn't take much to screw with my visuals..... love ya'll, hugs to everyone...
Shawna- let me just say I know what you mean about the family ordeal. My sis and i have been having to deal with my brother and his wife for months now and it has taken a toll on all of us. Although my brother is doing better i think he has quit drinking again. And he has been helping us out more with dad. Sil finally came around and saw dad for the first time in a couple of months. She was just coming in the kitchen and sitting not saying much and would not even go in the den to see dad and then just leave without him even knowing she was there. Me and sis didn't like that, we thought that was pretty disrespectful of her to come to his house and not even pop her head around to speak to him. And we still don't know why she is acting like that towards dad. Then all of a sudden yesterday at sunday dinner she goes to the den and sits down and says hello to dad and that was about it. But hell at least she went around there. Just don't know what her problem is. So i understand where you are coming from on that aspect. Hope your situation gets better.
Jam- I will let you know as soon as i find out something from dads dr tomorrow. And yes this is the dr that ordered the ct and pet scan. I think i will just sit my fat ass on the floor at the door so he can't leave tomorrow. I have a question for you- ok i'm going to try to explain this the best way i know how.Dads trach plate that sits in front of his neck right above that are two knots( side by side) but there is a small space between the two knots. They are swollen right now. Sometimes they get smaller and sometimees they get larger. For a year or longer me and sis couldn't figure out if they were lymph nodes or what they were. I thought they were lymph nodes. Finally we asked dr. doolittle at duke what was causing them to swell and he said it was coming from the radiation he had. He never said what they were. Then we went to another dr and i can't remember which one it was but he told us that it was a muscle that they had to cut to put the trach in and that's what the knots are; a muscle. Well today sis and i took dads trach out to clean his neck and the trach and them knots were swollen and mighty hard. I could be wrong but i just told sis I just don't believe that is no muscle swollen up like that. And it's red. She seems to think also that he might be getting cellulitis in his neck again. Because it's red and he has a sore place where the trach plate sits. So what do you think or know? Muscle or lymph nodes?????????????????
Love you bunches for being my go to girl!!!! Thanks for any info.
I love you my internet angels.! How did i survive this long without ya'll I'll never know. Ya'll are the bright spot in my day besides of course my lil red which i have to go play with and bathe or he is going to find a new mommy. ((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))Stormyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
John.....another hurricane? Let's hope not. Maybe you should start considering a vacation.....:) I found a good website that tracks hurricanes....going to go check it.
ladee......I'm so sorry Marie makes your days rough. I was hoping she would settle down some after your talk but the memory probably isn't that long. Or maybe it is the heat......
It cooled off enough here that we took the col outside to get her new do. She looks so darn cute. Cut her hair and pulled it back behind her ears, took 10 yrs off her. I sure hope she has left it alone.
Shawna....glad Mom's legs are working better and she's eating well. Don't we all have one of those "idiot sisters"? Just forget her and go on.......she won't change and it will make you nuts hoping she will. I have one and if she wants to change, she knows where to find me. Otherwise, I have too much going on in my life to sit around and wonder why she does what she does.
Time to get a few things done.....will check back later.
Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
Stormy, we will all be waiting to hear the report on your dad..... and Jam is right, stand there until he answers you.... He is just a human after all, make him answer you.....
Where is emjo tonite, missing you lady...
Ro, hope work has slowed down a little and hope you get your money soon..
Starri, out enjoying the great outdoors, breathe deep for me....
Seeme, love ya and angels are on thier way to help you...... love ya...
Jam, good for you.... and am glad the col was a 'good girl' this weekend.... post a pic of her new do on FB.....
vic, I don't have pity parties, mine lean more toward spinning and twirlling and lots of drama, THEN I settle down and do what I am supposed to...... I'm just a Toy's R Us kid and I don't want to grow up...
OH and one final note,, I am officially a Texas redneck now,,, with all the al. foil I have plastered on the windows,,, it is now stuck on there good, with DUCT TAPE... now, it's officially home.... don't ya love it....
Ok all my friends, time to go sleep in my cool room..... don't worry, after the summer, I will just find something else to bitch about..... hugs across the miles....