This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
darn diflucan had me really nauseated earlier today but it has passed now
tomorrow I will take it with food - I will stick this dose as long as I can to deal with the imbalance
dd taking me out to lunch (aren't I there already?lol) tomorrow or wed for b'day treat - as long as I am Ok, then we will tackle the basement or something around the house - bless that girl!
last night Gary, who is away roofing a barn, called and asked me to find the 2 pictures of the white stallion - O- Kay - on the one external hard drive he only has 1117 (not kidding) pictures all mixed up of horses, family and safety stuff - yeah right - guess what? I found them in about 10 min,, thankfully he only has one white horse - the next request was for a palomino stallion -well he has a palomino mare too and from the pics unless there is a foal nearby you can't tell - at least I can't -sent them all and haven't heard - good enough
shopping done, laundry to do and fruit to freeze or preserve - strawberries don't last long even in the frig but they are a good price these days
ladee - think u done well in figuring out ur way through sonny and marie -I did that in the last years at work - it was worth putting up with the increasing bs cause I liked teaching and it paid well - saw-off's, always saw-off's -and it helped my pension and I never wanted to have to rely on any one else ever again
shawna - I am native by marriage and by heart still to some extent - I learned much - woodlands Cree (Mikisew Band) in northern alberta and have my treaty card and proud of it!
time to settle for the night I think - may have a busy day tomorrow
Ok ladee...toys R us! Woohoo!! I thought alum foil was just plain redneck!! What works right! Love ya girl
Shawna... Your moms right, try not to let the drama get you down! Too sad your sis didn't respect you dads outfit, if for nothing else the pride of it being your fathers. Keep the faith girl?
Stormy...we will all be waiting to hear about your dad, you will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow.
Where is Starri?? Hooe she is finally getting some r and r!!
Semme....hope that all is ok and that you aren't running more ragged than usual. And that mom is as ok as possible.
I pray for all of you to have a good night and day. You all make my days easier, I thank you and appreciate you so much! So grateful to you Jam!
ladee - duct tape and foil - love it - here they use it on windows to keep out the light so the guys on night shift can sleep - whatever works lol - I'm not tellng u my little household secrets lol
nite all
Didn't realize how much the col hates her hair until we put her to bed. Target told her how nice she looks and she hollers "It looks like shit"!!!!!! She is mad because she didn't get a perm and isn't getting to wear it hanging in her face and down past her shoulders. You know that electrified Q-tip look. It really does look cute on her.
Hope y'all have a good night. Rest well........pleasant dreams to all of you!
Love and Hugz,
Jam
Love and hugs Stormyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
emjo, hope you are feeling better today... hope you have a good time with your daughter today....let us know what you had for lunch..
Stormy... sorry you didn't sleep well, we'll be waiting to hear about your dad,
Jam, can't make a silk purse out of a Qtip, I'd get a perm so tight she couldn't get a comb thru it..... her and Marie are carbon copies of each other, bitch bitch bitch....
Ok going to my high priced maid's job.... talk to ya'' later. love and hugs across the miles to all of you...
Seeme, angels sent for your heart.... love ya
ASG.....woohoo, glad to hear from you and thanks for the words of comfort. So what do you do with yourself now since the kids are in school? Long, hot bubblebaths? :) :) :) : ) love ya!
stormy....will be waiting to hear......don't nod off while you're sitting on the floor not letting the doctor out of the room.....on second thought...............................
Prayers and angels sent to you seeme........
emjo......where ya been? Feeling under the weather?
starri.......out there in the freedom of the wide open spaces.....
John, Vic, Shawna, ib4, mis, cwgrl, holler at me please.....my brain is on short-circuit this morning. Going to start sending out messages for weekend help.
Will check back later..........have a wonderful day everyone!
Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
Tomorrow is the day to hit the road again, we're starting to pack things up for moving, not sure how far we are going to get before going, "we've gone far enough for today" lol... The next couple of days are going to be go, find some place to camp for the night and go again.. then we'll find a place to hole up for a couple of days.. and try and rest, had hubby post some pictures, but instead of putting them on my face book, he put the majority on his..lol.. glenn johnson. will get some more posted today sometime. Love to all, Carmen
stormy u r n my prayers this morning - more than usual -waiting to hear
jam - how is the eviction going? good luck with finding weekend help
asg!!! great to see u here - having the kids back in school must take off the pressure
shawna - u have native blood - I think it shows in ur art - my "babes" (Gordie) was 1/4 cree - he loves to "stomp" when he was little - glad u found the wampum belt - keep them all safe - r u on facebook? I want to see pictures
ladee - hoping 4 a good day 4 u - and a cool evening - that would keep the phone bills down
starri - glad u r working out the personal stuff - not sure a tent would be easier and harder on the bones - gather the babies are all alright
seeme - I know u r not lost so maybe u r in the spa...or picking up shingles - hope mum is OK
vic - time to garden - that is great!!! Gary helps with his mum's flowers and his dad's vegs - and brings me rhubarb
YR - trhinking of u - prayers for dad
54 - have you found some help yet - I know u r at the end of your tether and u need a break
worried - seeing the lawyer tomorrow I think
john - picking up branches - hope no more storms
mismiley, 1b, cwgrl, and anyone I have missed - have a good day and let us know how u r doing
love, hugs and prayers ♥♥♥
Joan
Jo, what is up with you? detoxing off a med again or what? your suppose to be celebrating still..lol.. the girls are doing fine, Squeek is out running around somewhere, Claire and Maggie have figured out if they stick around camp, they get their freedom, take off and make me go chasing you, you end up in the pen for a while.
Heard out of baby brother this morning, his eye surgery went well, and he can see again..good enough to drive, so I know he has to be tickled pink about that, fussing that he has to go back down to Columbia (3 hrs. one way) to get it checked, but reminded him, it's better to make that drive than not be able to see, plus the fact that when we were working on getting his VA disability, he said that if they paid him travel pay for his trips, he'd do it everyday..lol.. He's finally realized pay or not, that isn't a fun trip.. never have gotten a thank you out of that kid... but have reminded him he owes me double lobster when I get back.
Waiting for Glenn to get back and we'll start breaking down the canopy he had to have..told him that we have to be staying more than 3 days for this thing to get set up..lol... to much work. Hope you all have peaceful nights and sweet dreams.
I am sure u are right that u have to be there 3 days to make it worthwhile -we had a tent trailer once - prefer a camper on the back of a 1/2 ton better but not a pop up - a stay up lol - gary is a tent man - his concession will be cots in the tent - my need is a tent toilet or a hotel with a swimming pool and toilets lol - and beds!!!
shawna - u and ur good sis are doing the right thing - get the cr*p out of ur life - nobody needs that - glad the tree is getting dealt with and your landlord is going to try to get you another grill - sounds like a decent guy even if he does not do much
jam - had my b'day lunch with dd - grilled chicken, spinach salad with berries, almonds, avocado, and champagne vinagrette (no feta as I can't take dairy). the dressing was great though I never use much - just a few tastes and brought 1/2 the salad home for supper
going to make a list for dd - I will pay her for her work - they can use the money and I can use the help -she took my sewing machine back to her place today. what little use I have of it I can do over there or she can do for me - one more item gone from the house which suits me just fine - really need to get rid of stuff that has been sitting around - dd is good at that and she will help me clear things from the laundry room now that the hot water tank is fixed.
we will probably only be here another few years and it will likely take me that long to get rid of things I don't want to take when we move -think Gary still has stuff he wants to bring here - his art supplies for example
still weaning off the antihistamine and doing OK with that - not going to change it till I have this other stuff (diflucan) figured out - took it with food this morning and am fine so guess that is the answer - with a wisdom tooth extraction coming up Thursday want to have the pills figured out - mind you, never took a painkiller after an extraction before - didn't need it
beautiful cool sunny day here - 61 degrees and a little wind -good day for a walk. need to get movng again before winter arrives!!! - first it was the forest fires and the smoke, then one ailment or another, then the bear - best to stay the path so at least you can see them coming - gotta build up a little muscle lol -get the blood moving -
stormy -waiting to hear wbout dad and u and sis
ladee - hope Sonny and Marie had a good day - always think of sonny and cher lol
seeme -where r u???
Vic and YR - hope the dads r good and everyone else - hope it was a decent day for y'all
love
J
I forgot to tell you ladies what Squeek did our first night here.. We've been keeping her in the cab of the truck over night, with her little sandbox and water, the next morning I get up, go to get her out and put her in the crate we had, she's locked the door to the truck, lol, Glenn's keys are in the front with her, thankfully something had told me to get my purse out of there so I had our extra set, could just see us having to call roadside to come and open the door so we could get the cat out.. here it is 7 in the morning, I'm standing in the site looking in the window at the cat, and the cat is standing up on the seat looking out the window at me..it was funny...
Hope all are doing well this evening, we've pretty much got everything as packed as we can get it short of hooking up the trailer and loading the bike, that will be for in the morning..
smart kitty too - guess you do need a better fitting harness - aren't u glad u brought her with u?
not worried about the wisdom tooth - never had a problem - one dentist said I have shallow roots and seems to me they come out pretty easily
just had a walk - nice out - 63 degrees and some in shorts and tank tops -some like me with more on
hope u have a good night's sleep
stormyyyyyy where r u?????
emjo....that lunch sounds like heaven. Beats the tuna sandwich I threw down my throat..:) My daughter used to clean for me around 10 yrs ago, but I saw slowly that she wasn't doing anything but vacuuming and still charging me for cleaning the whole house. I asked one day what she had gotten done that day and her response back was "that's it, I will never clean for you again"........and she hasn't spoken to me since. I thought that reaction was a bit extreme, as I had been paying her for weeks and keeping my mouth shut, but there comes a point when you just have to ask. Do you have anyone going with you on Thursday? I normally don't need anything for any kind of dental work, other than a local, but there have been those times when I couldn't get enough pain medication. Not too fond of dentists anyway.
starri.......I got a good laugh from Squeek.....thank you. I can just see her standing there...."what Mom?" Off again tomorrow...wonderful!
Temps for the next 2 days.....100 degrees......time to melt again. The col wants to take everyone out to dinner but told her we would have to wait until the weekend...don't want her out in this heat. So we will venture out to Red Lobster....her favorite place to go. Can't pass up lobster or crab legs!
Hope everyone has a good evening.....
Love and Hugz to all,
Jam
dd and I work it out by the hour - and she does not sit around -if anything I have to tell her to take a break. Sorry about your daughter -sounds like she has "issues" - definitely an extreme response - and not responsible behaviour
I have not many choices when I go out to eat with gluten and dairy allergies -so usually meat, chicken or fish and a salad or veg but i enjoy getting out and some one else's cooking is always good.
OK who's next???
Squeek, my new hero....... I love cats, sometimes more than people.... how cool that she just sat there, like, what are you upset about.......she is doing great on this trip. The Diva has always been an inside cat, I would never even attempt to put a harness on her, i'd have to go to the emergency room after she got done shredding my hands and arms.... she is a very snooty, moody tortie.... she even hissed at my son yesterday when he came over..... kinda reminds me of me... lol
and we are all waiting to hear from Stormy....
Shawna, what a mess with the family... that's why the people on here are my family... Haven't seen my family in years.... it's just better that way... for all involved....life hands us enough stress without volunteering to walk into a sh^t storm.....
Emjo, what a wonderful lunch.. you have a relationship with your daughter like I had with my mom... still miss her 28 years later.....she would have loved all of ya'll.... was thinking today how much she would have enjoyed a computer.....
Jam, sure wish we could all pile up with Starri and take a vacation, sans the husbands, wouldn't that be fun..... It would be like a pack of hyenas let loose for the first few days.... then we'd decide what take- out we were having for dinner...
Hope Seeme is ok today, if you are reading, love and hugs....
I know I missed someone, I'll check back in later.... love ya'll
Ladee, it did not rain in your bathroom last night.....or it dried overnight. I saw lightning, but never heard the rain..........
Goodnight all.......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Are any of the sisters coming in??? let us know how things are.... get a good nights sleep, and I am so grateful I wasn't the one calling....
hugs across the miles to you....
Jam
luv ya
Well, dad was assessed for hospice today and he meets criteria. So I will be able to get some pain meds for him that work. I hate seeing him in pain.
I am glad that you are all OK.
I am still working on that diet and have lost 17 lbs.
Well duty calls, night all.
Congrats on the weight loss...... that is great considering the stress you are under...
Know what you mean about wanting it to get cooler..... we are all worn out....
Happy you are letting us know how you are and what is going on, hugs across the miles to you....