This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Yes, niece baby was able to swallow teeny tiny infant formula. Niece needs to go to the store to buy breast pump so that the baby drinks her milk and not the formula. She didn't find any in Kmart... thanks, Veronica.
I'll also let her know about checking the breast pump. She told me that it costs $300-some but she can't find one until after the holidays. She's worried that she will dry up before finding one. Thanks!
Book, baby sounds in relatively good shape...? It would be SO DIFFICULT to have another mother of a premie lose their child right next to your niece, as niece is watching over her own. That's heartbreaking and I feel for the mother, and your niece. I hope niece can get good and positive input about baby and lactation expectations.
Glad to hear the little babies are doing well. That's a blessing.
Second strike, when they were hurting my dad, I thought he was having a stroke (bent left arm awkward position tightly against his chest, pain on left side and chest pains), ran next door for help. My dad refuses to listen to us females who know nothing but house work. He will listen to my nephews because they're male and know more than females. Nephew helped persuade dad to go to the ER. As soon as we left, the pain and stiff angled left arm- immediately went to nephew. He told me later what happened. They punished him for interfering.
We all know what needs to be done. He won't. I won't. I refuse to force him to do it.
Males in the West seem also to have this superiority but that is very slowly changing as women become better educated and assume more responsible jobs. of course there is a great cost in my opinion to this advance which the women mostly have to suffer in that it involves working out side the home.
Isn't it wonderful how people come by right when you need them? I remember when my mother fell and a PT just happened to come home and helped me get her up. It was like angels were sent in our time of need. Your neighbors were your angels.
Hope you didn't hurt your hand too much.
I am blessed my mom is in AL and now FIL in AL on hospice. It's in no way easy, at all. I do understand all of you doing it and trying to keep it together at home with your loved one. It didn't work for me and my mom. It doesn't always work and it's okay if it doesn't. My mom is going on year 6 at AL. She complains constantly but at least I can sleep until 7. She now gets up at 1:00 a.m. in AL and goes to bed at 5:30 p.m.
Do I want to deal with that? No no no.
Windy, I'm glad you got to spend some quality time with your grandson. By the way how is your mom dealing with the no vape rule? I think those things stink much worse than a real cigarette. I thought a man was smoking a cigar because the smell was thick like a cigar. It was a vape.
Lousy laptop shutdown without warning. It's not like my old laptop. I accidentally discovered how to open 2 separate Edge website (email and Amazon), had several Word Documents and several Excel Expense documents opened. I was reconciling my free ebook list, the email orders, etc... and the laptop just shut down. The side panel was really hot. Yes, I have hooked up the laptop fan below it and we're in an aircon room.
Even thanksgiving was like that- I felt one step behind and out of it...
Everyone talking except me, and when I was asked a question I was like "whut?"
One last peek before going to bed. 1:00am and I'm not sleepy... could be that frisky giant cockroach running around the Livingroom floor. Let's be thankful it's not flying. I'm terrified of cockroaches and I think that's why I can't sleep. It might crawl on my face. Ohhhh...my eyes are drooping...my body's tired but my mind is wide awake. Night!
"I might have known," said Eeyore. "After all, one can't complain. I have my friends. Somebody spoke to me only yesterday. And was it last week or the week before that Rabbit bumped into me and said 'Bother!'. The Social Round. Always something going on."