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Not on this thread much. Windy, is mom a candidate for hospice? Medicare pays 100%. She would have a CNA check on her daily and an RN weekly, a physician as necessary. May be worth checking into.

I am sorry to hear of her decline. Wishing you the best, and mom too, of course.
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Thanks glad, I'm thinking that way. Makes more sense with her needs. Gosh this is hard to figure out once meds (stupid Advil, back patches come into play they rape you for dollars) Gah!!!
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Keep us posted on how things go, Windy - did she get relief from the injections ?
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Windy, I think that when in hospice that meds for comfort are also covered 100%, only if they are for comfort, not extending life.
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Windy, what a coincidence. You described your mom's current condition regarding the outing. Then today, you described a dramatic change. It always amazes me when I come on here and see such changes. Sudden decline. Definitely describes it. It's a new stage for your mom and... unfortunately, she thought that this will tweak your guilty conscience. I think it would be great if she be evaluated for hospice services. I can't handle the thought of living daily with severe back pain. Headaches, yes. Any others, no. Like you said, just take it one day at a time. {Hugs!}
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P.S...your mom is so feisty, isn't she?!
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Hi friends! Thank you all for your kind words and advice. It's been a rough few days with mom. It appears the injections did nothing to dent her pain. I've offered to get her to the doctor daily and she has refused. Finally (!) she called this morning asking to see a doc. Good. It's on her terms now and not my call that she can turn around and try to guilt me later. (Not that it would work.) I do feel really bad she is in so much pain and now constipated too. Due to her having severe osteoporosis, I'm beginning to suspect a vertebral compression fracture. If that's the case, it is going to be very touch and go. The ER doc said she is too frail for any narcotics. Even when she was in better health and needed narcotics for knee breaks (3 times), she did not tolerate them well at all. Mainly they caused her to vomit. I'm hoping there is a different class of drugs that can give her some pain relief but I imagine the doc would've prescribed them if they existed.

I'll update later and let you know what I find out. Appointment is in three hours. I'm on pins and needles. *sigh*
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Windytown, I remember another thread where the OPs mom was acting out due to pain and the docs had missed vertebral fractures. I was surprised to learn that such fractures can be treated by being injected with some kind of cement to stabilize the break.... maybe someone else here remembers more?
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Windytown & Cwillie,
Is this it?
My mother-in-law has very fragile bones and has shrunk about 8 ...
Apr 3, 2010 ... She got cement put in in May and is in pain again now. If it is fractured ... She does appear to get relief from the cement, longer and quicker than the injections. It lasts until the ... Our mother has stabilized for a while on her pain. I went to her last ... Plus she has not had another fracture since. I think maybe the ...
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Also, wasn't "dmanbro" 's mother having these issues with a fractured (but missed dx) pelvis. She was screaming in pain with physical therapy.

I searched on here for: "Cement injected to stabilize fracture".
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Reading back a ways for Windytown,
Did you check and re-check for a UTI-a bladder infection, traveling up to the kidneys would cause that kind of back pain, imo.
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And also, BTW, a huge behavior problem in elderly can be caused by UTI.
Sorry if this has already been covered further back .
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Cwillie said:
You might want to check out the thread started by dmanbro about his mother, www.agingcare.com/discussions/moms-stubbornness-is-confounding-to-me-184838.htm
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That's the one I was remembering... they don't start to figure it out until post 91.
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Windy, thanks for updating us about your mom. I'm curious about her health issues. Pain is always so hard to pinpoint the cause. Ugh! Poor grammar. Ain't back spacing to redo with 1 finger. Tend to over-backspace... just reverse that sentence.
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Windy, hope all this is helpful..it all sounds good to me..especially about the UTI..I know that my mom's uti's change her so drastically. my mom has been on hospice care for 2 months...it has madea HUGE difference for me. The hospice group I went with is very prevalent in the asst living where my mom lives so they are there all the time...the CNA is scheduled to see my mom 3 times a week but because she is there, she sees her every day. when she got a bad cold, they treated it, I have been told that if she has symptoms of UTI, they will treat it without testing her (at this point she is incontinent and requires a catheterization to do a urine specimen) Any comfort meds are 100% covered by medicare. we have kept my mom on alzh. meds and heart meds and supposedly her secondary insurance will cover them..havent seen that yet so still in the air about the payments. also hospice nurse is at her AL several times a week and sees my mom even for just a few minutes every time she is there. my point is, use a company that is favored by the AL as you will see them more often if they have more patients in the building. (hope that makes sense) wishing you good results and pain free for you mom.
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No compression fracture, at least until the radiologist comes in on Tuesday. Doctor didn't think so. Hell day. Mom screaming in pain non stop for hours. Getting her on the xray machine took forever. Had to wear a lead vest to keep her from writhing to hold her in place to get an xray.

Was very difficult seeing her in so much pain. She was screaming and had to adjust her three times to get an acceptable position for an x
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Windytown, this pain your Mom is in, is just terrible! There must be something that they can do, especially if they can get her on Hospice! Even at only 85#'s, she should be a candidate for Morphine, they can add other meds to counteract the nausea and constipation that comes with it! I hate to se someone suffering in pain, without recourse! There just has to be something they can do, and I would insist upon it! So sorry all this added stress is all coming over the holidays, it seemsvto be a running theme around here!! Good luck with the Dr's, I hope she can find some relief! Merry Christmas everyone!
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Windy
Good news bad news - did the doctor offer any suggestions ?

My mom has had many falls and compressed vertebrae - she refused the cement procedure 9 years ago as well as the cortisone injection a year ago

She took Norco when the pain was intense I.e., said she wanted to die and a heading pad provides some relief - hard to get her to take even a Tylenol now

Hope you both can get some rest
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Merry Christmas to everyone!

My mom was prescribed a course of steroids in case it's an inflamed pinched nerve and also Tylenol/Codeine. It seems to be helping a wee bit. It's been less than 24 hours so hoping relief kicks in big time before we bring her to our house for Christmas tomorrow. She hasn't been on any prescriptions before at this AL (three years!) so she is not signed up with their med passer. Mom is too confused to dose correctly so I wrote very explicit instructions for both her and the caregivers for the next 24 hours. I will manage her meds tomorrow and hopefully Monday the doctor will be in to sign her up for her med needs.

Off to visit FIL who is on hospice at another AL. Kind of a crazy train kind of Christmas! Wishing everyone some peaceful moments tonight.
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Oh boy, Windytown. Dying cells and failing organs don't know what day it is, do they??!? Sorry to hear that your holiday is full of such hustle. Take care. Peace.
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Hi all! Haven't 'seen' you here in awhile, book. Hope you're doing okay. I've been thinking of you.

My mom continues down her miserable path. Steroids and codeine aren't doing it evidently. Now she's constipated but won't let me put her in-patient at the hospital to get the tests she needs to get to the root of the problem. I'm just waiting for the 3 a.m. call, once again. She has roid rage and is yelling at everyone. It's lovely! :P
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Hi Windy. I'm fine. I'm still being torn about being POA while dad's still competent. Unfortunately, my conscience says I must get the POA. My emotional side says that I truly can't handle this with caregiving and full time job. Every time, no exaggeration, when I think of being POA, my heart starts beating so fast and I start panicking. Sigh... just typing this to you and I'm becoming teary eyed. This is one time I need to resist my conscience. It's just so hard to continue to fight with myself. I'm getting a headache just thinking thinking about it.

Don't worry, Windy, I may not comment lately but I still drop by to read.

I'm also stressing over dad's meals. Or lack of it. His nutrition drinks are running out. The supplier was expecting shipment last month and it still hasn't come in. They were only able to give one box - which we're now down to 6 cans. He's not interested in real food. He used to love pizza. Now he doesn't care for it. The same applies to his snacks. I've tried mixing Ensure with milk to dilute the sweetness but it's still too sweet. He no longer likes bananas and mangerines. I shared with him an orange - he sucked the insides but... tomorrow, I'm going to Google on ideas for nutritional food for an elderly who doesn't like sweet or sour foods ...and must be soft food.

Oh, please keep an eye on your mom's lack of bowel movement. Mom was constipated. I think she had a back flow and ended up in the hospital for a month for blood poisoning. That's what I was told by dad at the time.
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Windy, I feel like we should gather up your mom's health care team and start knocking heads together. For g*ds sake, the experts keep telling us people shouldn't have to suffer such pain any more, it's way past time they figure something out!!
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Feeling completely drained today. Think I have finally gotten caregiver crash. I want to sleep all day. Christmas Eve was not good and Christmas wasn't either. Christmas Eve I spent the night in bed with tears thinking about Mom passing away 3 months ago on the 24th of September and Christmas.. well I didn't have one. Dad asked me when Christmas was and he didn't even know why I was giving him his favorite candy. Mom was my Santa and I miss her so much because I didn't have a Santa this year. Dad has never liked the holidays. It just didn't feel like Christmas this year.. no gifts, cards, phone calls or texts from anyone. This is depressing.
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Angel16, hang in there. I know how you're feeling. I lost Mom 6 months ago in July, and Christmas was just more work - not a time of real joy for me. I tried to be happy and enjoy the day, but it was just all show for my daughter & grandkids - I really didn't feel it. Maybe next year....

I was hoping against hope that my oldest son would call or show up, but he didn't. He has cut us out of his life yet again, and severed the last remaining method for me to reach him, which was Facebook. He deleted his account. I wasn't badgering him, just asking where he was and if he was ok - when he didn't respond, I restrained myself to the point of just leaving messages on his birthday and holidays - so I said "Happy Birthday, I love you" and "Happy Thanksgiving, I love you"...and was going to do the same for Christmas, but he deleted his account. I have no way to reach him now. I know where he works, but if his past habits continue, he won't be there long before he quits or gets fired. It's only a matter of time before someone else in the family passes away, or some other emergency happens and I will have no way to reach him, which I guess is the way he wants it.
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SusanA43. I also know the feeling of people disappearing out of your life and not wanting to be found. Both my older sister. She is 47. And my stepbrother who I really didn't know well and I have no idea how old he is now. No calls, they haven't written, haven't showed up. Nothing. I feel like I was left all alone and I have to deal with everything when it has come to my parents alone. It's so sad that they never knew their parents all these years. Everyone always says there will be a new year to look forward to and things will be better and I say how will things be better. With Dad being in such bad shape I will have another parent that will no longer be here on earth with me. So 2017 will be another year.. yes but I am not looking forward to it because it will be another year and another loss.. my Dad.
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Angel, is there a way for you to get some sort of respite care for Dad so you can take a small break? Even just a few hours now and then? It sounds like you could really use some time to yourself for a bit.
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SusanA43, I had hospice for 2 days and nothing went right. The RN they sent out didn't even have sense enough to do anything and she couldn't even answer the questions I had. The aide they were going to send ..well Dad didn't even want anybody to touch him. Hospice offered that service of respite care but with Dad's stubborn butt and I hate to use those words, he doesn't trust to be around anybody else but me. He doesn't even want anybody in the house. Some people think it is so hard to take care of one parent but back when Mom was living it was just completely insane and I ran back and forth between them for 3 months. The only retreat I have is my flower garden if only for just a little while but there is only one downfall. I get a little bit of peace for a short time but then I have to deal with things again. It's tough when he can't leave the house because he is permanently disabled but even worse that I can't get away long enough to clear my mind.
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Angel, you're going to have to find a way to get away for a bit, and that may just mean having to say "it's ok" and let someone else care for dad for a while. I know that's hard - trust me - but you're going to have a true breakdown if you don't get some time to yourself, and then you won't be any good to anyone at all - not dad and not yourself, either.

Please consider it. It will make all the difference in the world.
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