This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
I am sorry to hear of her decline. Wishing you the best, and mom too, of course.
I'll update later and let you know what I find out. Appointment is in three hours. I'm on pins and needles. *sigh*
Is this it?
My mother-in-law has very fragile bones and has shrunk about 8 ...
Apr 3, 2010 ... She got cement put in in May and is in pain again now. If it is fractured ... She does appear to get relief from the cement, longer and quicker than the injections. It lasts until the ... Our mother has stabilized for a while on her pain. I went to her last ... Plus she has not had another fracture since. I think maybe the ...
I searched on here for: "Cement injected to stabilize fracture".
Did you check and re-check for a UTI-a bladder infection, traveling up to the kidneys would cause that kind of back pain, imo.
Sorry if this has already been covered further back .
You might want to check out the thread started by dmanbro about his mother, www.agingcare.com/discussions/moms-stubbornness-is-confounding-to-me-184838.htm
Was very difficult seeing her in so much pain. She was screaming and had to adjust her three times to get an acceptable position for an x
Good news bad news - did the doctor offer any suggestions ?
My mom has had many falls and compressed vertebrae - she refused the cement procedure 9 years ago as well as the cortisone injection a year ago
She took Norco when the pain was intense I.e., said she wanted to die and a heading pad provides some relief - hard to get her to take even a Tylenol now
Hope you both can get some rest
My mom was prescribed a course of steroids in case it's an inflamed pinched nerve and also Tylenol/Codeine. It seems to be helping a wee bit. It's been less than 24 hours so hoping relief kicks in big time before we bring her to our house for Christmas tomorrow. She hasn't been on any prescriptions before at this AL (three years!) so she is not signed up with their med passer. Mom is too confused to dose correctly so I wrote very explicit instructions for both her and the caregivers for the next 24 hours. I will manage her meds tomorrow and hopefully Monday the doctor will be in to sign her up for her med needs.
Off to visit FIL who is on hospice at another AL. Kind of a crazy train kind of Christmas! Wishing everyone some peaceful moments tonight.
My mom continues down her miserable path. Steroids and codeine aren't doing it evidently. Now she's constipated but won't let me put her in-patient at the hospital to get the tests she needs to get to the root of the problem. I'm just waiting for the 3 a.m. call, once again. She has roid rage and is yelling at everyone. It's lovely! :P
Don't worry, Windy, I may not comment lately but I still drop by to read.
I'm also stressing over dad's meals. Or lack of it. His nutrition drinks are running out. The supplier was expecting shipment last month and it still hasn't come in. They were only able to give one box - which we're now down to 6 cans. He's not interested in real food. He used to love pizza. Now he doesn't care for it. The same applies to his snacks. I've tried mixing Ensure with milk to dilute the sweetness but it's still too sweet. He no longer likes bananas and mangerines. I shared with him an orange - he sucked the insides but... tomorrow, I'm going to Google on ideas for nutritional food for an elderly who doesn't like sweet or sour foods ...and must be soft food.
Oh, please keep an eye on your mom's lack of bowel movement. Mom was constipated. I think she had a back flow and ended up in the hospital for a month for blood poisoning. That's what I was told by dad at the time.
I was hoping against hope that my oldest son would call or show up, but he didn't. He has cut us out of his life yet again, and severed the last remaining method for me to reach him, which was Facebook. He deleted his account. I wasn't badgering him, just asking where he was and if he was ok - when he didn't respond, I restrained myself to the point of just leaving messages on his birthday and holidays - so I said "Happy Birthday, I love you" and "Happy Thanksgiving, I love you"...and was going to do the same for Christmas, but he deleted his account. I have no way to reach him now. I know where he works, but if his past habits continue, he won't be there long before he quits or gets fired. It's only a matter of time before someone else in the family passes away, or some other emergency happens and I will have no way to reach him, which I guess is the way he wants it.
Please consider it. It will make all the difference in the world.