This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
"One option is the fecal immunochemical tests, or FIT, which are approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). It’s used as the first line colorectal cancer screening test in most of the world, including Canada, Israel, the Netherlands, Italy, France, Taiwan, China, South Korea, Scotland, and soon, England. It’s recommended as the screening test of choice by the European Union Guidelines."
So every 2 years we get the "poop on a stick" package from the doc and colonoscopies are only recommended for those with a family history or if the FIT test is suspicious. Ask your health care providers about that using option.
He then asked that dreaded question....How old am I. (Based from past experience, it's a Prelude to the colonoscopy subject.) He immediately said that I look good for my age....Then, he asked if I had a colonoscopy. All smiles left my face. I shook my head. I suspect I must have totally shut down, because he gently kept telling me that it doesn't hurt. Over and over. And I just sat there and looked at him solemnly. It would be like doing 2 things for the price of one - colonoscopy and endoscopy...
He told me that when he has to do something, he goes at it gung-ho. I said that I have to be dragged kicking and screaming before I'm Forced to do it.... He said to just do it and get it over with..... I finally agreed... He told me that if my insurance reject the colonoscopy, he will pay for it...
I was so depress, I couldn't even eat lunch. I went back to work and I was so downcast. I even got a major headache after the appt. I'm still feeling strange. I think I'm truly terrified of this. I keep telling myself that I had 2 major stomach surgeries. Colonoscopy is nothing compared to that... so maybe tomorrow, I will go online and read up on it... I truly, truly hope this really bad aversion to the colonoscopy is not one of those gut feelings. I really, really hope not. Just like my 2 different stomach surgeries, I researched extensively before it so I knew what I was facing. I need to do the same. Maybe knowledge will overcome my gut instinct. I feel so funny. It's weird. Sigh... doc said that I will need someone to do dad's pamper for that day.
Thanks Cwillie!
The presence of blood in the stool can mean just about anything, but if a polyp is benign, if is not bleeding yet. imo.
It is just a screening test, not accurate unless three samples over time are tested. Don't eat any red meat-it may test positive.
He gave me the three stick test last visit but I'll be darned if I'm going to take it to the office with me 💩😝
Anyway, at the moment, the colonoscopy is on the back burner. My Acid reflux/GERD is on a rampage. I've been googling these past few days on how to prevent it, control it, what to eat and not eat. I'm now reading online of others experiences with this and what helps them... I need to order online a Manuka honey level 16 (healing level) to help coat my stomach and esophagus before bedtime. So far I found a level 12. Expensive honey.
Your Manuka Honey may have curative properties because of the bees that feed on the Melaleuca plants. This is not something you are buying to put on the breakfast table to share with family as a spread for toast (although it is very tasty). Think of it as a medicine, research the dosage, maybe one teaspoon - one tablespoon daily, so it should last a month + ??
Don't quote me on this but the science is that Melaleuca has antiseptic and antibiotic properties, as well as others.
Research on your own and don't give it to diabetics, I am sure. I am not touting it as a cure-all, but the gerd I have was out of control, and 40 days later I have been able to discontinue prilosec, carafate, prevacid complete. Now, I take two tums for the calcium carbonate recommended by my doctor which cuts the burning from gerd. It was roiling up into my throat!
Of course it is part of a complete plan to get healthy, so eating less (1/2) is important too. If I eat ice cream, I must take a lactaid tablet-this also seems to help the gerd, but ask your doctor. I will be discontinuing the ice cream when I become a perfect person, Lol.
This is just what I am doing Bookluvr, be careful, read up on it, everything in moderation. Shop carefully on Amazon, for a good quality Manuka honey. I don't know why, but it took several weeks to find mine, entering several categories of searches.
In the meantime, I started with a 10+ from a local store.
Be sure to tell your doctor when they ask about allergies to meds. Just because you didn't get a rash or go into anaphylactic shock doesn't mean you can tolerate those meds. Find out what meds and put them on your list.
And just for you Book, please don't worry, there is hope.
There is even a scan (non surgical/non-invasive) that can be done for your g.i. tract.
I do understand your fears and anxiety about the procedure in your case. And ask your doctor, always.
Then use your better judgment.
I guess I will need to have another consultation before the colonoscopy. But... I feel such a hypochondriac... to be such a ninny about these meds.... Thanks Send.
I came home this afternoon. I didn't smell anything cuz my nose was back to not working. When it was time to change his pamper, I saw poop on the lifter sheet. I walked around inspecting him. Yep, poop also on his slacks. Really? My nephew and his wife will not change the pamper??? It was quite dried up. Sigh...
When he pees, the pee no longer goes into the catheter bag. It spurts out as if he's not attached to the catheter. So changing his pamper must be done quickly because he cannot control the flow of urine.
I'm beginning to hate my name. He just calls it over and over and over. I swear it's like every 30 seconds. 10pm. Time to change his pamper...
My boss is showing signs of forgetfulness. He used to have a very sharp memory. I try not to add this worry onto my shoulders. In all the years working with them, we have never mixed business with pleasure. Maybe it's just old age and it's finally showing. I hope so. .. his father had Alzheimer...
I've decided to eat chicken soup for lunch this past week. It seemed to help with my acid reflux. Except Friday, My stomach bloated. I was miserable at work all afternoon. When I went to the restroom, I was shocked at how extended my stomach was. So, today, I bought Tums and Zantac. I will use one at a time for a week to see if my body accepts it.
I'm delaying changing dad's pamper by coming here. Alas, it's 11pm, way past his bedtime. {{{groaning as I get up, trudging resentfully to do it.}}}
So sorry to visit and run off. It's not anything you have done, it's me.
It has been too hard to follow all the threads anymore, but I do think of you and come looking for you if I don't see you anywhere. Guess that I have missed a few posts addressed to me after I have left. I want to apologize to you and others.
Hoping you have had some success with gerd. I was reading online 'reflux m.d.'
Some articles have been enlightening, and helped me personally. I sure wish I could afford that special pillow they are promoting. Their scale to rate the seiousness of gerd symptoms was helpful. That is why I need the Manuka Honey.
P.M. me and then I will know if you need me to answer.
Be well!
Love fom,
Send.
When it was time to change his pamper, I discovered he had a high fever and he wouldn't wake up. So I started wiping him down but the fever kept coming up. Around midnight, he started having jerky breathing. I was worried that the fever was affecting his breathing. So I aggressively kept cooling him off. But the hiccupy breathing really worried me. I called SIL around 12:30am to come and see if I should call 911.
This was the running theme all day today. The attending ER doctor would check on dad but no updates to us, the family. I tried and tried to explain to my sibs that this has been happening even when mom was alive. As long as I had no POA for mom and dad, they never really told me anything. Sibs were upset. I wasn't.
By the way, I also found out that the ER called the surgeon to see if dad can have surgery because there's blood coming out of the intube thingy attached to his mouth. He's bleeding inside, maybe the stomach. We were not informed that the ER was going to do this surgery.... Surgeon won't do it...
2 of my sibs from the states are trying to fly back home...that's a $3500.00 ticket for one person! 3 days advance purchase is cheaper. Well, midnight time. I need to go sleep. Oldest sis and I have morning shift at the hospital.