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Hi has been quite a while since last posting. I cared for my mother since her stroke in 1988--she was 2 years younger than me now when this happened! She was tough, but finally passed last March, so I have been dealing with the mess here ever since. The home went into foreclosure due to mother deciding on a reverse mortgage once I ran out of money, so I have been trying hard to get moved, unfortunately, I have nowhere to go so am just moving some things into storage until I figure out what I am going to do. With little money, I cannot afford anything even if it were available, also having to pack up and move things myself at 63 years old, not an easy task. The bank bought the home in November 2015 and are now ready to start eviction proceedings, which I did not want to happen, so am trying with all my might to get the hell out of here before papers are served. I was led to believe I would be offered "cash for keys" to help with relocation, but now am told that is not going to happen since my name was no longer on the title to the home (I quit-claimed my portion when mom reversed mortgaged as I was not of age). Mom went into a nursing home last August under Medicare from the hospital (90-100 days), and she had little funds so I was told to apply for Medi-Cal. What a mess, first I got a bill last November for 3 months, totaling over $6,000, which I understood Medicare would pay, but apparently only for 30 days, then $75/day co-pay which I was not aware of. So between trying to spend down for Medi-Cal, having unpaid bills, having to take on all the utilities she used to pay and being without my mommy and daddy for the first time in my life, I screwed everything up so badly, I don't know if I will ever see daylight!!! If anyone knows of a place to rent temporarily or a cheap travel trailer, etc. Please let me know!!! Thank you again for allowing me to vent, careful of what you let your loved ones have their way with!!! Hugs to all.
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57twin, those lucid dreams can be terrifying. I had one once where I swore someone was pressing a pillow over my face - to the point where I couldn't breathe and was swinging my arms and kicking my legs. I could feel the outline of every single finger on their hand as they pressed the pillow against my face. It was horrible. I woke up with arms and legs flailing and immediately got up and checked the house - nothing. But I didn't sleep the rest of the night, and was a little afraid to go to sleep the next few nights.

SherylBeth - My mother has issues with skin fold irritation too - they can be nasty and the odor can knock you right off your feet. Ask the doctor to prescribe InterDry - tell him it's made by Coloplast. It's a very lightweight fabric that is impregnated with Antimicrobial Silver Complex. You don't put anything on it - you just wash and thoroughly dry the skin fold, and then put the fabric into the fold. It stops the skin-on-skin contact (which is what causes the irritation), absorbs moisture and the silver kills and prevents bacteria from forming. It will heal up broken down skin in those folds within a week without having to take antibiotics. If the doc won't prescribe it, you can buy it online (Google it) but it's pricey - about $70 for a roll that will last a couple of weeks if used every day.
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57twin, a while back, I told about my dream. I rarely remember my dreams. This was an exception. When I wrote it here, I didn't understand the meaning of it. Then, sis visited. As I was telling her my dream, I was realizing the meaning of it.

Only you would truly understand it. Think about what's been happening to you lately. Something triggered your dream. High school classmates could be an upcoming high school reunion, your coworkers and after hours socializing. Anything new with your dad? Is he having money problem? Official Person- your boss?

Sorry. Past midnight and my brain became sloshy. Too tired to think...
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Gruesome dream last night. Interpetations anyone? I was at a high school classmates new house (have not seen her in decades). Dad was there and he souled his pants (has not done that yet). Someone it seemed official like for a big pad like a moving pad for him to sit on. I went to check on him in my dream and he motioned for me to come closer and he put a plastic bag over my head to try? to suffocate me. I escaped of course but Yikes so creepy.
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It's 10pm, I'm preparing for dad's appointment tomorrow. I had to search all over to finally find a new tshirt for dad. I even put it in the laundry basket to be washed today. Sis babysits him Mon-Fridays from 8:30a-6:30pm. She doesn't do pampers. She doesn't take out the kitchen and pamper trashbags to the bin. She doesn't do showers or the toilet. She doesn't do his dishes.

She knows that he has an appointment tomorrow. She knows that all his daily tshirts are covered with his spilled oil. Those soiled shirts have been there since Wednesday. I went looking for the new tshirt hanging in the porch. Nothing. Not one single shirt was hanging. I then checked the clean laundry shelf. Nothing. I even looked between the sheets, the towels, the washable waterproof pads. Nothing. I then went to the kitchen. There is the shirt - among all the other soiled shirts. Sigh... I went back to the laundry shelf. Not one single shirt is free of the strong oil smell. Ugh! I went back to the laundry basket and took out the new tshirt. He's just going to have to use it tomorrow! Good thing I hid his good slacks last night. I don't know why sis cannot wash ALL his laundry. I mean - 3 or 4 pieces of tshirts does NOT take up so much space in the washer! Okay. I'm done venting.

At the function, one of the sponsors was talking to me. Her husband's mother and now his aunty have dementia. She was asking me lots of questions about my parents, me, my sibs (help?), etc... It seems her hubby's siblings are accusing them of stealing their mother's money. She told me that if his mother wants to eat out - of course they go eat out. If she wants her hair done and manicures, they will do so.
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Sheryl, my dad hasn't reached the stage as your mom. I was here when the home care nurse asked my dad questions. He was able to give the month and year and his birthday. That must have been scary when you got that call. I can just imagine your daily worries wondering how your mom is doing and having your hands tied. Hang in there. {{Hugs}}

I had dyed my hair a few weeks ago. I had a worse reaction than the last one. The 2nd to last one (June 2015), the back of my right side tongue was tingling. This last one I did - it was the whole right side of my tongue tingling. I had a cocktail function I attended this evening. One of the guest was so surprised to me with my dyed hair. She couldn't believe it. She said that I look like a teenager. I'm short and skinny. Too bad that this will be the last time I dye my hair. I'm going to try to do highlights soon. See if I have any reactions to that.
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Pam, even here, the throwing up and tiredness is spreading. I had the throwing up/nausea/diarrhea a few weeks ago. For the past few days, I've been sneezing a lot. Tired too.

Onedoor, that happened to me once. I had signed out of here on my laptop but kept it on in the kindle. For several days, I couldn't sign in the laptop. When I finally got through, I now keep it on 24/7.
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Has anyone heard from Captain (Bob)? I miss his straight to the point humor...
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Mom had dr appt tuesday and another 'mini' evaouation for her ALZ. She didnt know the month or what season it is. And of course she couldnt remember the 3 words she was asked to remember. She also has a raw place in the skin folds on her tummy which she was supposed to be putting zeesorb powder on multiple times a day. She hasnt beem doing it so its now worse and dr put her on Bactrim antibiotiics twice a day for a week. Now today the dr office called me and said she had been to the pharmacy to get the antibiotics refilled. They were concerned she had taken all of them in 2 days and would need to go to the hospital. I immediately drove to her house and found that she had put them in her daily '7 day' tablet reminder (whew!!) and then called the pharmacy today to have them refilled (she doesnt know why she called for a refill nor did she remember she called). Since she refuses to move closer to me or have a caretaker, I know its just a matter of time before APS has to be contacted to evaluate her so that I have the okay to move her. Apparently thats what has to happen since my POA isnt enough. I would rather have someone stay with her at home but there is not enough money for that. Long and scary day today.
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Hope all is well and feeling better soon
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Hi all, Happy New Year. Have tried a couple of times to add a few words but my computer is messing up or this site is...it wont accept my password. so we will see if this time is the charm!All is well with my mom. The legal garbage is not over but at a standstill - too much to go into. except to say, my sisters are insane! anyway, I am tired. had a busy day and headin to bed early tonight! just wanted to say hi!
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Sounds like alot of us have been sick lately. I spent almost a week out of commission with sinus and bronchitis. I am on the last day of antibiotics, and still not feeling really great! But this too shall pass, and I know I will never catch up here... missed you all
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My shoulders are rounding forward. Sometimes I wonder if that's the reason for my shoulder pain. Constant head/neck/shoulder pain. Lastnight, I was trying to find my favorite yoga YouTube video for the neck pain. While looking for her, I came upon another video. I decided to try it out lastnight.

I laid on the bed, inched myself backward until my head partially dangled off the bed's edge. I had the bed's edge against the upper neck with the rest of my head dangling. Oooohhh. There was a sudden rush of blood onto my head. I had to close my eyes because it was just so much blood rush. After it calmed down, I opened my eyes and just relaxed my whole body. My spine was stretching. And hurting as it stretched. Still remained relaxed as I concentrated on the sensations of my back and head.

Once everything stabilized. I inched more backwards. This time, the bed's edge was halfway on the back of my neck. Wow... I was suppose to put my whole head off the bed, dangling .. But I have a neck problem. I'm not foolish to do that with weak neck muscles. I just stopped at that - halfway to my neck. I inched myself back onto the bed and just relaxed.

Well, this morning, I woke up with - No stuffed right face! Because I sleep fetal style - my back was hurting. So, I had to lay there flat on my back to stretch my spine again. That took out the kink.
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The aides are supposed to be turning it on as well as the tv at dusk. I will have to remind them and find out what time he goes to bed which I know is pretty early.
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Yes, on the timer. It won't require him trying to figure out how to turn on the lamp or even to remember to turn it on.
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57twin, great that you're back to your original hours - less stress and more free time away from work. Arthritis. So sorry. If I sleep too long at nights in one position, I wake up with severe neck pain and can barely turn my head. Pain shoots from the neck up to my head and also down to my shoulders. So, I cringed when I read you got arthritis. It's sad about your dad. You're seeing more and more of him getting worse. You take care. {{Hugs}}
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Been absent and had to do a lot of reading to catch up.
My work hours are now back to my original pt hours as my co worker has been back to work and slowly increasing his hours.
I did have the last two weeks of December foot pain and since Thanksgiving hip pain(mainly after sitting) the hip pain did not bother me at work since I am on my feet the entire day.
Turns out I have mild to moderate arthritis and some bone spurs in areas of my left foot. Am on prescription naproxen. Then I caught a cold and Saturday morning one of my cats deciding to walk across me while I was still in bed. I pushed him and he left a long scratch/claw mark right under my left eye.
Dad turned 86 last month. Health is still good but I notice he struggles a bit getting out of chairs (with arms on the chairs). He stares out the window in his room and see things. Yesterday it was blue people (smurfs!). Or airplanes landing. He will have a conversation about what he sees. Sometimes it's just easier to agree with him. Got him a new lamp with a pull chain figuring it would be easier for him but not sure if he is using it. Maybe put his lamp on a timer?
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Ladee, Thanks. You're right that dad still has a say so in his life. You know how I feel about you. {{{HUGS}}}

We just had a short spat. I told him to find someone to replace me so that I can move out. He ordered me to move out - several times. I said that i will - as soon as he finds someone.

I dread work tomorrow. But I am soooo looking forward to going to work tomorrow. Anywhere is better than here.

Sometimes, I regret not agreeing to join baby sis and her family in Hawaii in February. I'm saving my 2 weeks vacation for the free ticket to Colorado Springs in the summer. Nothing against Colorado, but I really do like Hawaii. I need to hustle and find a caregiver to cover dad the day times from Monday to Fridays, so that oldest sis takes over the night shifts. And niece covers the Weekends daytime.
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Book, rest, drink some water, take care of you.
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Did you know that if you get the flashing lights warning you of an impending migraine just before going to sleep at night, and if you fall asleep while it's flashing .. that when you wake up in the morning - the flashing light will continue where it left off last night? Yep, it does. I fell asleep with it growing wider but in mid-range. When I woke up this morning, at the midrange size - it then continued to grow wider. I had to lay there and wait for it to expand so wide that I no longer see it.

I have the migraine all day today...
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Book, I was here when you first started AC, I know that scared, suicidal 'little girl' that found her way here... and who you are today is absolutely amazing. Other than your own personal progress, I am so proud of the way you help others.
I simply feel that you do what most do when venting, just venting.... and you don't sugar coat anything.... like Glad said, you are the only one who can make those choices for you and your dad....I am not your dad and would go berserk in a onesie.... and your dad still has say so in his life...so keep venting about what others here vent about.... You know how much I love you and we have been friends from the beginning....so with that being said.... I simply love you, respect you for you, not just your caregiving.... sending you lots of love and hugs.
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Bookluvr, We really are fortunate that Dad doesn't mind going to the doctor. He actually, in my opinion, enjoys it to some extent. I've been feeling frustrated that, even if he doesn't get sick even once this year, we are on the hook for 19 medical/dental appointments for him (we provide all of his transportation, we don't pay for his appointments), but if he refused medical treatment it would be much worse (because he has to have a B12 shot once a month, no matter what).
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Glad - when dad had his major poop disaster where I almost walked out permanently, so many people here gave me different suggestions. Onesies was one of it. I remember some mentioned taping his pants, etc... The thing is that if he cannot have access to his body, he will be very angry by the time I change his pamper. I cannot change his pamper and handle his hitting/kicking me. Second, he's bedridden from a stroke. His left side is very weak. Both left arm and leg are crooked and can barely move. I have tried to exercise/massage his left side but he doesn't want me to exercise his limbs because it 'hurts'. He rather leave it in one position - not hurting. So, just putting on his tshirt and slacks are a struggle - especially sneaking the catheter bag/hose down or out of the pant leg. This will take all my concentration without having to also struggle with him trying to kick/punch me because I blocked his access.

Now just because oldest sis is here with us, doesn't mean she will help me with the pampers. When I was changing both bedridden (vegetative-state) mom and dad's pampers, sis will just walk by without helping me. I have asked several times for her help. I had to stack pillows on top of mom, behind her back,etc... to hold her in place while she's on her side, so that I can clean her behind. Now that there's only dad now, nothing has changed. Sis will walk by as if she doesn't see us. If I'm home, she passes us, and ignores dad's call to her. Because she's 'off'. And it's now my shift.

Look, more things happen here at home that I don't discuss here online. I've learned in the past here on AC what happens when you all read my situation and get frustrated when I refuse to put him in NH or if I refuse to pack up my bag and leave. When I first found this site, I needed to vent all my anger, hatred of life, bitterness and resentment. I posted so much detail that it was incomprehensible on why I stay here. I have tried to explain over and over. And in the end, several of you told me that it's just cultural difference/outlook.

Glad, thank you! =)
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AngelJoy, you are sooooo fortunate that your dad is willing to go to his doctor! My dad - even when he was normal - has always hated going to the doctor and dentist. He would go yearly for his annual in which his doctor would do a 1 year RX for his high blood pressure. And that was that. Now, it's pure struggle to get him to go annually for his Medicare requirement for the home nurse visits.
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Just been catching up on this thread. Book, you deal with so much with your dad, I don't know how you do it, especially considering all the childhood stuff you had to deal with. And I certainly understand about you nkt wanting to do the onesie thing! We each need to pick our battles. With your Dad's aggressive tendenciesmhe would go nuts in a onesie. I think the only thing that would work to keep your Dad's hands out of where they shouldn't be is a straight jacket! But, then we go to the restraint stuff again which would get you in trouble for sure! I say that only half joking, as I KNOW you would never do anything to harm your dad. I wish there was a simple solution to your Dad's poop issue, but there is not jnowing what I have come to know of him and his anger over the past almost four years. Only you can or should make the decisions for your Dad. Trust your instincts, they are absolutely correct. You know his anger and tolerance level for change. And a change to a onesie woukd no doubt drive every body to madness in that house. I completely agree with you it is not a battle I would fight either! You are doing a wonderful job caring for your Dad and that is all any of us can do. When others offer suggestions they try to be helpful and many of us become hurt by comments and suggestions of others often because of the way they are said. None of us should be questioning what another caregiver's decision is in any care related issue.

So, Book, you just keep on keeping on, all you can do is your best and your dad knows that on some level. You are doing a job, and have already done many more years than any if us! Do not question your own decisions, they are only yours to make, you are the one with the experience, and many years of it caring for your folks.
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Dear bookluvr, What a nightmare that must have been. Sometimes it seems as though people (stubborn, sick people) are their own worst enemies. My dad really dislikes being in the hospital, but he doesn't mind going to the doctor. He now is taking Lasix every day to minimize the fluid buildup, but every once in awhile it gets out of control anyway.
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Thanks. He's had pneumonia before where his left lung was almost full of fluid. For weeks he refused to go to the clinic or ER. I begged the 911 to send ambulance even though I said he would refuse. They came, asked questions to determine his mental awareness and told me that they can't do anything if he refuses help. I then called APS and got same response. Who then referred me to an elder law attorney who in turn said the same thing. I finally went to the insurance company of the clinic to ask if they can allow my dad's doctor to do home visit. And was very firmly told no. She then gave me a number to call -APS.
In the end, I had to wait for the pain to get so bad that he finally agreed to go.

But I didn't hear wheezing noises that time. He just had lots of coughing and green phlegm. This time it's that wheezing noise. Before, it was only when I lowered the bed. Now it's happening more whether he's up or down. Coughing more.

I'm going to tell sis that when dad coughs hard (where he almost died-his words), she will suggest that we go to the clinic. From what I understand, he coughs more in the daytime. Hmmmm. I wonder if it's happening when the govt caregivers come to sponge bath him and lowers the head of the bed completely flat?
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bookluvr, My dad had the same whistling/wheezing noise coming from his chest, and the home visit nurse couldn't hear it. When he went to the ER, they heard it very clearly, and it turned out that he had a fluid buildup in his chest caused by his heart condition (congestive heart failure). He was hospitalized for several days to get the problem and other issues under control. I don't want to be an alarmist, but I think that a doctor might hear the wheezing even if the nurse doesn't. Dad didn't want to go to the hospital, either, but eventually he was so ill that we called 911, and then the paramedics and I were able to convince him to go to the ER.
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Book nurse should listen to Dad's chest and heart on every visit. Lots of other things that should be done but probably are not!
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The home care nurse already did their weekly visit with dad. I will need to remember to leave a note for them that dad is coughing more. Chest is wheezing more. Sometimes the wheezing sounds like a whistling noise. Or air coming out of a balloon. It really doesn't matter, though. Dad is so stubbornly against going to the clinic/ER. But for my peace of mind, I will leave a note and have the nurse listen again to his chest.
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