This seems to be a question that is not asked enough or we think what we are feeling is not as important as what our loved one is going through. This job we have taken on is a tough one and there are days when I think my "stress rope" cannot be pulled any tighter. Then there are other times that make those bad days just a memory. Do you feel like banging your head against a wall one day? And then the next day your loved one is attentive and loving and comprehends whatever you say? There are some who keep those feelings bottled up within themselves; others take the time for outside resources and others who look at sites such as this for some understanding. I do better when I have someone else to bounce my feelings off of. Let's face it....we aren't superhuman and besides ourselves and perhaps a family to take care of we now have taken on the responsibility of another human who is incapable of taking care of themselves. Do you breeze through the care giving without a problem? If so, I would like to know how you do it, maybe you can offer some new ideas; do you have feelings of frustration and need to talk about those? Come and talk and know that you can speak freely and without judgement and without finger pointing.
I am caring for my mother-in-law and have been for about 1 1/2 years. She has moderate dementia and incontinence. Other than that she is very healthy. Sometimes that short amount of time feels like 10 years and I wonder how long I will be able to do this job. I get so very tired of hearing the same thing day in and day out, but I have to remind myself that to her, each time she sees me, she is offering new information. At times I have no problems communicating with her, but it seems like more and more she cannot retain a thought longer than 5 minutes. We have had to make signs for her so she will know what she can and cannot do. So far it's working, but for how long? Maybe I will have to end up making her a "Book of Do Nots". She is on memory drugs, which don't seem to make a difference. So why do I continue to dole them out to her? I guess I'm afraid of what might happen or how she might act without them. I might have to rent a boat or buy a helmet! Sometimes I see something in her that leads me to believe that she could get aggressive and what would be my reaction to that? At the end of each and every day, after she is tucked into bed, I breathe such a sigh of relief. The "inner beast" is quiet at last, or at least for a few hours.
Pull up a chair and visit........I would like to know how you are coping everyday..be it good or with handfuls of stress.
Anti strip pyjamas and antistrip jumpsuits
Not necessarily a cheap option but far better than what you are doing right now.
I'm going to charge him $20.00 for cleaning up this mess.... (All other labors I do for dad is free of charge. I only charge him when he makes extra messes like this.) Okay, I have to really go now. He just touched the phone. The longer I wait, the more things he will contaminate...
Started practicing writing 2016, then realized there is an accounting error-and cannot remember how I paid it. Was sure I could remember so didn't write it down, just this once, a few days before christmas. This means I could have been overcharged. Must get some sleep, but this is keeping me awake. It will all work out, it's a small amount...unless they overcharged me......
SO, is it New Years Eve yet, somewhere in the world?
Check in please everybody.
Maybe we could do a countdown on My Favorite Things thread?
I saw oldest sis in the porch. And oldest bro with his grown up son doing something to the sliding door. It seems sis slammed the sliding door, and it automatically locked. All the doors - livingroom, front and back kitchen wooden doors and the kitchen sliding door were all locked. Bro & son were trying to unlock the sliding door. It's a good thing that I have both keys for the livingroom door (protective screen and the wooden door). I recommended to sis that maybe from now on, when she goes out to smoke, to unlock the back kitchen door. Then when she comes back in, to lock the back door again. This way if she gets locked out, she can still enter through the back.
RR
PS. avoid driving at nights - because you cannot see the tornadoes nor the flash floods that washed away the road/highway.
So, SIL asked her son - who has worked at 3 different restaurants about this. He very emphatically said that the customers must tell the restaurant when ordering what they're allergic to. This way, the cook will know not to cook their meals with new oil. Nephew was very emphatic that it is not the restaurant's fault if the customer has an allergic reaction if they did not tell them of their allergies. SIL and he got into a heated argument. I stepped in by saying that niece took cooking class for restaurants at the college. And niece said that they're not suppose to re-use the oil. Nephew said that it's suppose to be that way. But in reality, in all the restaurants he worked in - they use the same oil - to keep the cost down.
It's going to be so awkward now -for me to keep volunteering to the waitress of my shrimp allergy. But I guess I will have to - since it's a very common practice for restaurants to use the same oil for all the different dishes....
LadeeC, you are one of the few who have wiggled her way into my heart. I UNDERSTAND why you will no longer come here. I wish you the Best. I'm so sorry that this past year has been so difficult for you All Around You. One after another. I wish you good health. You have one more major roadblock to overcome. I sooo hope you conquer it. Thank you for being here for me when I needed your wise words. I will always remember you. And I will continue to contribute to your thread of Hello Ease as a tribute to you and all you've helped on this site. Who knows if I will still be here if Dad ever passes away.
{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}
Thank you .. all. For being here, for understanding, for embracing me. I'm not sure how much I'll be back on the forum. There've been so many losses in the last 14 months. I need to process it, and then pick up my life, again.
Many blessings, how ever you count them, to one and all ... and of course, the forum creators and mods. Wishing you the best for the upcoming year.
LadeeC
Now as an adult in my late 40's, I rarely get migraines. And if I do, I don't get the flashing lights. Too bad. Anyway, the thought of changing dad's pamper made my headache drastically decrease. I think, my body is preparing me to handle his poopy smell ... because as everyone who has had headaches know - when you have headaches, your sense of smell increases dramatically... Okay, everything's all set up, the air con is turned off, the room is not so cold - I can now proceed to change his pamper....Unfortunately, the nausea is still here...
Dad said he poop... no way I can handle his pamper right now. Head pain is so bad, i don't think I bend nor handle the smell... He's saying he pooped a lot...ohhhhh... Maybe I can ask fave niece if she can change his pamper??? As soon as she arrives, i will ask.... bribe if I must. =)
I was suppose to work on Saturday morning, but boss said that we will close the office. However, I overheard him tell the wife that he will still come in. Yay! I'm off on Saturday! It's very, very rare for me to get 7 Saturdays off in a row! (I work every other Saturday mornings. Boss closed the office on the Saturdays I'm to work because of the holidays - Thanksgiving and xmas. And I took my last week of vacation - which included the saturday I was suppose to work on 12Dec.) I have never, ever had this happen in the 21 years of working here!!!!
Dad - 2 straight nights in a row - has touched his poop tonight. I guess it's time to change his pamper, shirt, pants, bedding. Not once, did I charge him $20.00 for the week he had diarrhea. He overflowed out of the pampers, and onto his pants. I learned immediately (well, after the Second time it happened) to put the liner under him while fully clothed. Because when I pulled down the pants, the watery poo also got onto the bedding. Disgusting...
Well. xmas is tomorrow. Our next door neighbor 'borrowed' our outdoor front porch wooden broom several weeks ago. I had to go there after work today and ask for it back. .. Oh, was that yours? I was wondering whose broom it was!... Oh, really? You wondered but didn't care to come over and ask us if it's ours???? {eyes rolling}
Sis is soooo weird. She can handle the poopy pamper smell in the pamper trash in the kitchen. She can cook and eat - without it bothering her. But, when I buy a Crazy Bread with lots of butter/garlic, she cannot handle the smell within hours of it being in the trash. Instead of taking the trash out, she covered the trash cans. I can handle the garlic smell while eating. I cannot eat while smelling poop wafting in the air. Yuck! Uhm... by the time I come home from work, it's dark outside. The trash bin is under the mango tree - which the spirits stay. And they make me feel uncomfortable. Most mornings, I'm running late (always, always arrive at work 10-15 minutes past open hours. And I'm the one who opens the office!) so i usually don't have time to take both kitchen and pamper trashbags out to the bin. But sis, who stays home all day, doesn't do pampers, cannot take the trash outs. Deep breathe.... Venting done!!!
Friday she refused to get her hair washed (we only do it once a week, and it takes less than five minutes) and when I insisted, she got out of the tub and wouldn't even take her bath. After that, she tried to get me fired by tattling on me to her son; of course, he knows her tricks. When that didn't work, she tried to make me quit my job by picking fight after fight after fight.
Monday I convinced her (after she stuck her finger in my face and called me nasty names) to get her hair washed. Yay, mission accomplished!
Yesterday she was trying to get food half an hour after her meal (after both breakfast and lunch) and when I told her she'd already eaten, she told me it was none of my business, to get out of her way, and other choice words.
The next time she tells me I can leave whenever I want to, I'll tell her that I will quit my job as soon as she's in a nursing home. Let's see what new stuff she comes up with today ...
As my dad travels down the road of senility (not declared having dementia), he's been speaking in our native tongue. Oldest sis may not speak the language, but she does understand it. Dad & I are getting frustrated a lot when he talks to me in our tongue and I just stare at him blankly. When I say, "English", he gives me this blank look. I can see him trying so hard to find the English word but... when I see him getting frustrated because he can't find the words, I say never mind.
This is the 3rd time he has asked me if the music is in our native language. I would think him hearing it and comprehending it - that it's obviously in our native language. There's really no need to keep asking me if it is....
91-45. 91-47 classic rock. 91-48.soft rock. 91-49 love songs. 91-50 pop hits..... etc........ I had to go to the last channel I stopped taking notes and scrolled up. Found it lastnight. You know, most of the Xmas music have been modernized. Doesn't sound as great as the originals or the oldies of my time. (Some originals were really too slow for my taste and prefer the revised version of the 70's and 80's.)
Pamzimmrrt yes You do mix brandy and port half and half. It is best to begin with a small volum and discover what measure works well for You. I try to avoid medication, so this recipe works well for Me.
However, if I ever get over my aversion to alcohol, I will keep your tip in mind. Thanks!